Searching For Shinobi
by Nitroglycerin
Summary: HPxYYHxNaruto crossover.A LONG time ago, something happened to a certain fifteen shinobi. Now they're immortal, and they hate every minute of it.So they decide to go out for some fresh air. Where to? Hogwarts. And the Reikai Tantei are sent to find them.
1. Prelude

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

Just so you know, this will have one-sided HinataNaruto, one-sided InoSasuke, and one-sided SakuraSasuke. Just so no one will seem OOC. And (because this often confuses me) the crush will be _from_ the first name, _toward _the second.

And one more thing, I may deliberately make the ninja OOC at the beginning due to some plot things.

* * *

_Fifteen ninja, five teams, sent on a single mission, they were not informed why so many were required, only that they had to bring the object back._

_They never returned._

Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched as he read the description for some new book. He wondered if it would become popular.

He fervently hoped not, that would go far beyond troublesome. Especially if someone who read it saw Gaara, who was currently out shopping with Naruto and Tenten.

How could they have found out about it anyway? Any documents should have turned to dust long ago.

* * *

Really short, but it seemed good for a prelude. 


	2. A Decision

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto.

Koenma stared at the report, trying to wrap his mind around the contents. The result was that unnoticed paperwork continued to pile up next to him, Botan was attempting to read over his shoulder, and George was becoming increasingly nervous.

Koenma slammed the paper down on the table (causing the stacks of paper on either side to sway dangerously), jumped up, and ran out the door. Just in time to miss Botan making a grab for the paper as the towering documents collapsed, burying her.

Koenma came back in soon after. With perfect timing, as George had just gotten everything back in order, he went back to his chair and pressed a little button that he had named "Yusuke Caller", not that he would ever tell Yusuke that. He did value his life, after all.

He proceeded to yell into a microphone the usual "Get Over Here NOW" speech, immediately turning it off afterwards and subsequently pressing "Kurama Caller".

He gave a similar speech to Kurama (not quite so loud, and with one difference: where he had told Yusuke to bring Kuwabara, he told Kurama to bring Hiei). He then stared at his watch, waiting for them to arrive.

* * *

Everyone was in agreement, which was not really a good thing. But that was the whole point, really. 

They each had their own contacts, with a few exceptions, to keep up with the time. They had known the moment this "Hogwarts" was organized, about a hundred years after ninjas became obsolete.

They had just decided to go, because this "home" of theirs seemed to have had a shadow extended over it since that mission that suddenly left them immortal, removing them from their place in time to figure out what to do on their own. Each time they entered their "home" they became detached, one in mind but always individually distant.

They had occasionally gone out, and found that doing so seemed to revitalize them, cause them to disagree, argue, and fight like they had before.

Hogwarts seemed like a safe enough (insert intense hope and praying here) place to do that.

* * *

I wonder if I made that a little too surreal . . . I rather enjoy doing surrealism. 

I just hope no one who reads this hates surrealism with every fiber of their being . . .


	3. Explanation, Kinda, Sorta, Not Really

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

The first part was done, namely, the agreement. The second part would not be any harder: going out and releasing just enough chakra to be mistaken for witches and wizards.

Then came the hard part: fooling the current headmaster (Dumbledore, they had learned) into mistaking their address.

It wouldn't do to have fifteen dead owls lying around.

* * *

They were finally here! What took them so long? This was the general thought/feeling buzzing in Koenma's head at the moment. 

The Reikai Tantei had arrived five minutes early. Rather unique, that. But Koenma didn't notice. That is, until he was about to shout "You're late!"

He took a single deep breath as the two words begged release. "Why are you early?" He asked calmly…

Kind of…

Sort of…

Not really…

He calmly screamed.

They looked at each other, and Kurama answered, "Actually, it was because Yusuke wanted to listen to you tell us that we're late." He didn't add that Hiei was hoping for it, too. That would be unwise, to put it mildly.

Koenma took this in good grace…

Kind of…

Sort of…

Not really…

He slammed the table in good grace. Feeling marginally better, he then commenced the explanation of their next mission:

"A long time ago, I can't be certain what the exact year was, all I know is that it was before I was born"

Kuwabara missed the significance of that, and Kurama and Hiei masked their surprise well. Unlike Yusuke.

"Before you were born! Aren't you over a hundred?"

Kuwabara was stunned to hear this.

"Well, yes, over five hundred, actually. But I'll get to that.

"there were fifteen ninja. We don't know their names, unfortunately. I do know, however, that they were human, and that they lived around the time when ninja were at their peak."

This time Kurama interrupted, "but that alone would seem to contradict itself. Ninja haven't been around for over a thousand years"

"I know, the thing is, something happened, and they disappeared. Occasionally, I have heard vague reports, but whenever I sent someone to check it out, they weren't there. This time, however, I can be sure that it's them. I can't get a clear description of them, but nine odd, powerful energies have appeared, nine as in nine different people, but the same type of energy. I'm sure that I haven't found all of them, though.

"I did some research, and found that each of them could be classified as A-class or B-class, and even a few S-classes." They tensed at this; they had faced S-class demons before, but not in large groups.

"Something to note is that around the time period they disappeared, an S-class demon disappeared as well. It is unknown if these events are linked, but it's something to look out for.

"I'm sending you to investigate, one source has told me that they could be going to Hogwarts. You will receive more details on that later. I'm sending you because, if my sources are accurate, and I believe that they are, these ninja are too powerful to be left alone. Not only that, but there remains the question: how are they still alive?"

That concluded the meeting.

* * *

Apologies for cliffhangers, I need some practice on not doing that. Especially since it seems disjointed when I don't.

But I'll try harder, and I'll try to explain some things in the next chapter.

And one last thing that I feel I have to add: me... love... reviews...


	4. Preparation

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

It had been a week, and they had each received an owl in different locations, but more than that, they had begun regaining individuality.

It took time for them to start thinking differently, the amount of time depended on how many people were around them, and, to a far lesser extent, how many of the ninja were in a twenty to twenty-five radius of each other.

Though neither of those made any difference when they were in their home.

They were scattered, and in cities. The thought pattern that they all shared most of the time was diverging rapidly, and they would be blowing things up pretty soon. Hopefully, they would be at Hogwarts by that time.

They could each control their appearances to fit a specific age, very convenient for this particular outing.

* * *

The Reikai Tantei were shopping. 

Kurama and Kuwabara were enjoying it, more than Yusuke or Hiei, anyway.

There was a list of the books they needed, of course, but Kurama had gotten far more than it specified. Kuwabara brought Eikichi, and bought another cat. He was thinking of what to name him.

Yusuke didn't see how anyone could enjoy shopping; he was having rather pessimistic thoughts about being dragged along as he purchased some candy to send to Keiko.

Hiei remained stoic throughout the trip.

* * *

Koenma scanned the paper again, looking for something, _something,_ that would give a hint as to the appearances of any of them, or, better yet, if they were to be considered enemies or not. That was of utmost importance. 

He wanted to know if he had sent the Reikai Tantei to their deaths or not.

* * *

I did that little cat thing on spur-of-the-moment, but it might get to be fun later . . .

Hm, I don't know if I can even do the pairings I listed earlier; whatever I do will be taken from what I see in Naruto. I don't think that I could write Kurama/Sakura. Anything that I _do_ do will be forced; I just don't like pairings enough to let ideas flow freely. Hope there's no disappointment.

Thanks for reviewing, though.


	5. Officially Separate

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

Neji and Hinata had to get contacts. They went into Diagon Alley afterwards.

Naruto and Sasuke had had an argument, which was very significant to the shinobi. They had destroyed a vase, which was greatly reassuring to the shinobi. Kind of: it was reassuring to know that they hadn't destroyed something… bigger.

Shino didn't much like the robe design, and somehow convinced the tailor to adjust the collar to fit his… style.

Ino and Sakura had to be forcefully pulled from each shop.

Lee had to be forcefully pulled from each mirror, as well as the candy shop.

Gaara disappeared for a while. They found him in Nocturne Alley.

Kankuro also found that area interesting.

Kiba found the pet shop interesting, and Akamaru seemed to like it there. They enjoyed the candy shop more, though.

Chouji couldn't be pulled from the candy shop, but eventually Shikamaru managed to convince him to come out.

Temari had a mild interest in Nocturne Alley, but considered it rather distasteful.

Tenten rather enjoyed her new wand.

* * *

Yusuke heard his communicator beeping; he pulled it out and flipped it open. There was silence for a moment. 

"Hello?" Yusuke wondered if the thing was broken. The screen showed Koenma looking through a bunch of papers.

"Hey, Toddler! What are you doing?" Koenma looked up at this.

"What? Oh, nothing. Just… uh… be careful."

"NANI!" But the communicator had turned off.

* * *

There, all fifteen

I was thinking about pairings. I was thinking about how my thoughts and ideas flow. I was thinking about how pairings impair that flow. I was thinking about how the shinobi were completely in sync when they were in their "home". I was thinking about how I might use that as an excuse to not do the pairings that I listed in the first chapter. I was wondering if readers would hate me for it.

And finally, I was wondering: should I refer to them as ninja or shinobi? And, should I add kunoichi?  



	6. Arrival

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

Bright lights.

Sound.

Whirling.

Spinning.

Insanity.

He closed his eyes against chaos… they had to stay sane through this maelstrom.

Finally, something discernable, it was sound, a voice.

"But that alone would seem to contradict itself. Ninja haven't been around for over a thousand years."

Uh oh.

* * *

Koenma was discussing details with Dumbledore, mostly about the Reikai Tantei, but he also explained about the shinobi and kunoichi. The term wouldn't start for another week, and he was going to check up with the Reikai Tantei while Dumbledore was here. 

The door opened and the Reikai Tantei stepped in.

Koenma was just about to make formal introductions when a kaleidoscope of bright lights blinded him. There was a moment of loud, shrill sounds, then an eerie silence as the lights disappeared.

A quietly angry voice broke the silence, "we're late."

* * *

I did "Ninja" the first time because that's what I did in Chapter 3.

I tried to not do a cliffhanger, but it didn't work. I'll update as soon as I can (i.e. probably tomorrow)

I wouldn't be able to do a chick flick if I tried. Pairings impair the way my imagination flows, push them too far and it'll staunch it.

Sorry it's so short.

Naruto and the rest? Shopping? 


	7. An Exchange

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

Koenma blinked spots from his vision and looked at the newcomers. A guy with white hair and wearing a mask answered the first.

"I got lost on the road of life." Koenma could almost see the eye twitching on a third one, a woman.

"_You were setting a date in time!_" The last one, in a freaky-looking green suit, grabbed the masked guy and shook him.

"Um, excuse me, who are you?" Koenma asked; the others were all just staring.

The green-clad guy stopped shaking the masked guy, who casually stepped away from him and introduced himself, "yo, my name is Kakashi, this is Gai," he pointed to the one who was shaking him, "this is Asuma." He pointed to the first guy, whom Koenma noticed was smoking, "and that's Kurenai." He finished, pointing to the woman.

"Well, my name is Koenma. This is Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts. They are Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei." He pointed to each of the Reikai Tantei in turn. "And, if you don't mind me asking, why are you in my office, was that… entrance… necessary, and exactly where did you come from?"

The one called Kakashi put one hand behind his head, leaned against the wall, pulled out a pink book entitled "Flirting Paradise" and left someone else to explain. Asuma decided to continue.

"Well, we came to find our students… we understand that you're looking for them. We had no control over our 'entrance' as you put it. And we come from Konoha, the hidden leaf village of shinobi and, to a lesser extent, kunoichi, from over a thousand years ago. We were only supposed to jump a few hundred years," He glared at Kakashi, "it takes an enormous amount of chakra to do this and maintain it. We won't be able to hold up very long."

Koenma blinked; digesting the sudden information, "so, your students, they aren't hostile?"

Kakashi snorted, Kurenai answered, "Unless they have dramatically changed, or have reason to be, then no, they aren't hostile."

This was very reassuring.

"Do you think you could give us names or descriptions? We don't know what to do after we've found them, but we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it." Dumbledore said.

Gai opened his mouth to answer, but with a silence that contrasted their entrance, they disappeared.

* * *

Well, I thought that it would take another day to update. Turns out I was wrong, but I'm sure no one resents it.

Something that someone noticed when reading Chapter 5 was something that I found very funny when it was pointed out. If you'll notice, it seems Neji and Hinata are the only ones who have their priorities straight. With Naruto and Sasuke focused on their rivalry, Shino focused on his outfit, and I'm sure you can see everything else.


	8. Deduction

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

Koenma blinked, again. They were just… gone.

But at least he now knew that the shinobi and kunoichi weren't enemies; that was what was really important.

He turned to Dumbledore and the Reikai Tantei, who were staring at where Kakashi, Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma had been standing a moment before, "ahem." They looked at him; good, he needed their attention.

"Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, you will continue your mission. If you find any the shinobi or kunoichi, bring them to Spirit World when the term ends." They nodded, and left. Koenma felt thankful to the unexpected visit for saving him the usual sarcastic remarks.

"Now, Dumbledore-san, we were about to conclude, but there is something I need to discuss with you, I'm sure you've noticed it, too?"

Dumbledore nodded, "shinobi and kunoichi, according to history books, were rendered obsolete precisely one hundred years before Hogwarts was created, a thousand years ago. Those people who appeared said that they were teachers of the fifteen we seek, meaning that they were shinobi and kunoichi, as well. And yet one of them was smoking."

Koenma folded his arms and nodded, "the only explanations are that, either they weren't who they said they were, and I don't think that that's the case, or there's something important that we don't know."

"Well, judging by what we _do_ know, it's probably time-related."

"So it seems. The question is: how?"

Neither of them could answer that.

* * *

Back in the Leaky Cauldron, Yusuke's communicator beeped. He opened it. 

"I've just found out a way that you may be able to use to rule out some students. Anyone who doesn't know much about modern technology can be safely ignored, it seems that shinobi weren't far behind us on the tech tree, we have yet to find out why. Also, it seems that there will be someone called 'Harry Potter' coming this year. If you want details on that, then you should be able to find them in a book with wizard legends." It turned off.

"Well, that explains the cigar. And those getups really didn't seem like something people from over a thousand years ago would wear." Yusuke remarked.

"It hardly helps, though. Some wizards don't get out into the 'muggle' world much, but most try to keep up. That means a few, plus one, and this school isn't small." Hiei was as cheerful as ever. He didn't much like having to think of humans in two different groups.

"Well, it's better than what we knew before." Kurama said, and refrained from adding, "namely, nothing."

"I can't wait to get back to my darling Yukina!" Kuwabara's attention span really wasn't that impressive.

* * *

Sorry for the cliffhanger, didn't notice it.

I probably should pace myself, but it's easier said than done.

I figured out while while writing that it sounds strange if I do "shinobi and kunoichi" when referring to ninjas as a whole. So I'll do "shinobi" when referring to ninjas, and "shinobi and kunoichi" when referring to the fifteen. Or shinobi groups with females.  


I figured that researching the teacher of the Sand Siblings would be too arduous. Hope no one hates me for it.

And, last, I think in order to get all the group dynamics going, I'll need to add one-sided LeeSakura, and one-sided NarutoSakura. There are so many one-sided pairings, I hope I'm not missing anything.


	9. Drawing Closer to the Beginning

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

I'm going to be referring to them as HP and YYH from now on. Naruto won't be changed, though.

Ino and Gaara had to get contacts, as well. Though the shinobi and kunoichi were praying for the term to end before it started, because Hinata, Neji, Gaara, and Ino with pupils scared them (this does not mean that it did not scare any of the mentioned shinobi and kunoichi; they scared each other).

It wasn't quite as bad as it was right after they got the contacts, where Naruto had actually yelped and jumped at Sasuke, who caught him by reflex, and immediately tried to drop him. Note: tried, Naruto had grabbed his neck, so when Sasuke was no longer supporting him, Naruto pulled Sasuke down with him.

Naruto wasn't sure how he survived.

The contacts were altered, of course, so they didn't mess up the vision of the shinobi and kunoichi, and so that they appeared to have pupils.

* * *

The Hogwarts Express was scheduled to leave the next day.

Yusuke wondered why he was suddenly nervous.

Perhaps because he had never had to wait to do a mission, not just "wait" but wait without training, or some sort of preparation, to pass the time. Kurama had suggested studying as preparation, but the word "study", or anything to do with it, automatically went right over his head. He would never count studying as preparation for a mission, anyway.

Oh, yeah, he still had to learn English. He and Kuwabara had been given devices to help them learn it faster, much, much faster. He did that, at least. It wouldn't do to show up in a big place with lots of people and need someone to translate for him, which would be embarrassing.

He had made quite a bit of progress, and Kuwabara had already finished. That was because he had had a head start from learning a little in school. And he was more diligent about it, studying regularly, unlike Yusuke.

But he would get it down soon enough, of that Yusuke felt confident.

* * *

Hiei was impatient. Okay, they had to find a group of ningen. Okay, they had to bring them back to Spirit World. Okay, that meant that they weren't allowed to kill them, nothing new. But they weren't allowed to fight them, either, unless they proved hostile. He wouldn't have had a problem if that was all, but it wasn't.

They had to pretend to _study_ with a _horde_ of ningen _children_ in which they were supposed to find _fifteen_, and do so for nearly a _year_ in which they were not allowed to kill _anything_ that was not hostile.

Meaning he wouldn't be allowed to kill various random little animals on the school grounds.

* * *

Kuwabara took any opportunity he could get to flaunt his new language skills, hoping to hone them till he could show them off to Yukina in shining perfection.

He had been rather put out when he realized that he wouldn't be able to compete with Kurama and Hiei, who had learned English long before. But he had beaten Urameshi in learning the language, and that made him feel ecstatic.

It also gave him a sudden love of studying, since that was what he owed the victory to.

* * *

Kurama patiently went through his books.

Adrenaline rushed through him. It felt like a hunt.

* * *

Eikichi purred; she rather liked this new cat.

He liked her, as well.

* * *

I think I am going to have fun with the cat idea, but I still need to think of a name for the second one.

That was longer than the chapters I've done before, I think I'm getting better.


	10. At The Station

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

After much arguing, many death glares, and jutsu, the shinobi and kunoichi finally came to the agreement that they would go in groups of three at set time periods on the trek to the Hogwarts Express. There was nothing to discuss about the groups; of course, it was obvious who was going with whom.

So much that it made most of them nostalgic.

Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji would go first; Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura would go last.

They had to set some rules, though: that no one would kill anyone, that Sasuke, Neji, and Hinata, would not use their Kekkai Genkai, that anyone with… unusual… hair colors would not let anyone know that it was natural, etc., etc.

They even made a list.

* * *

Yusuke strolled along without a care in the world… 

Kind of…

Sort of…

Not really…

He tried to ignore the fact that his team members (including Kurama) were glaring at him, for a good reason.

He really should stop sleeping in; it just wasn't worth it.

He tried to make it seem as if he had no care in the world. It resulted in him tripping over someone because he was looking at the ceiling. Good thing he had bribed Kuwabara into taking care of his cart.

That thought didn't stay long as he heard swearing from the kid he had tripped over. He also thought he heard a muttered "I'll kill you."

His jaw dropped when he saw just how little the kid was.

"Hey, kids like you shouldn't use that kind of language." How was that for a fast recovery? Perfect English, too. He patted the kids' head.

He didn't like that at all.

He seemed just about to do something threatening when another kid with him (even smaller, though not by much) interrupted.

"Oi, Sasuke! Sakura is getting ahead of us!"

The kid, Sasuke, seemed to freeze for a moment.

* * *

_I can't kill him… I can't kill him… I can't kill him… _Sasuke repeated it over and over in his head. He took a deep breath… 

And let it out… slowly… slowly…

"_Idiot._" He put as much venom into the word as he could muster (which was quite a bit; he had had practice).

It worked rather well, the _baka_ looked rather taken aback.

* * *

Sakura had stopped not far ahead, and was chatting with another girl. She turned around when Naruto and Sasuke caught up. 

"Oh, Naruto, Sasuke, this is Hermione Granger, she's a first year, like us." It was a good thing they had practiced their English before coming. They already had it down, of course, but they had learned it a couple hundred years before, and had to make sure that they weren't rusty.

Good thing, too. It required practice to get used to the lack of suffixes, as well as the first name before last name deal, along with a number of other things.

"Hermione, these are Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha, friends of mine."

"Pleased to meet you." Hermione said, holding out her hand and holding her tongue. Those were strange names.

"Same to you!" Naruto shook her hand.

Sasuke was still seething over his encounter with Yusuke, and refused to shake Hermione's hand.

She looked insulted, "well, it was nice meeting you. I think we'd better be getting on the platform now, though." She walked over to a nearby column, and walked through it.

"Everyone seems rather tall here." Sakura noted as they went through the column after Hermione. Sasuke made a strange sound at that, and she tried to remember what she had heard when Naruto had suddenly stopped.

She had heard enough to deduce what had happened. Meaning that they had not started off on the right foot here.

She stopped when she heard someone call to them, and turned around.

"Hey, just wanted to apologize for bumping into you, wasn't paying attention to where I was going." It was a guy in a green outfit, and he used a lot of hair gel. Which made him look somewhat similar to Lee.

* * *

Good, now he was close to them. Kurama had convinced Yusuke to apologize; now he could look at them closely. He really didn't think that they would find any shinobi or kunoichi before they even reached Hogwarts, but there was a chance. Sasuke was _not_ an English name. 

Three of them, the one with the pink hair had to be Sakura. Again, not an English name. That just left the blond.

_Those marks on the sides of his face… they almost look like whiskers._

It would also help to know their last names.

He looked at them carefully, trying to see similarities. They each had a pouch belted at their waists, but that was all.

"Hello there! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Remember it! These are Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha." He seemed to try to make the final name sound particularly unimpressive.

"I'm Yusuke Urameshi, that's Shuuichi Minamino, and that's Hiei… Jaganshi. Oh, yeah, and that's Kazuma Kuwabara." Yusuke made it sound as if he had nearly forgotten. Kuwabara didn't take it well.

Not English names, Kurama decided to put them high on his mental suspects list, but didn't say anything. He might confront them later, but not until he had something definite.

_Hiei, could you scan them?_ Kurama asked mentally. It was difficult to think over the sound of yelling, punching, and general violence coming from Yusuke and Kuwabara, but he had had plenty of time to get used to it, and tune it out.

_Hn, I suppose. _There was a moment of inward silence. If only that silence was outward, as well.

_They're thinking in English. _Well, that made that obvious. If English was their native language then they couldn't be anyone the Reikai Tantei were looking for. They dropped to the bottom of his suspects list.

But not quite off.

* * *

Bidding their new friends good-bye, the two shinobi and one kunoichi got on the train. They went into an empty compartment. 

"Well, at least that mental training paid off." Sakura said.

"They're looking for someone, probably us." Sasuke stated. Naruto looked surprised, but Sakura just nodded.

"We should inform the others." Sakura said.

"Wait, wait, what?" Naruto asked.

"Synthesize, Naruto. I'll explain after the others know that we need to talk privately." Sakura said impatiently.

If anyone had opened the door and looked in at that moment, it would have seemed as if a shadow had fallen over the three.

* * *

_Darkness… complete and utter darkness, and yet they could see each other, along with twelve other shapes that seemed to float just on the edge of their vision, if you could call it that._

_They each reached toward four of the shapes, putting a feeling of urgency in the contact. They drew back, satisfied, knowing that the message had gotten through._

_Because they could feel the message that came through: we will speak when no one knows that we speak._

_It wasn't words, of course, just feelings. Words were not needed in that type of message._

_They couldn't stay long… or the synthesis would have aftereffects._

Obviously, you felt the mind search. _One said to another… the differentiation was difficult. There was no answer; none was needed._

Their names were Japanese. And I know you nearly stuttered when Yusuke said "Jaganshi".

Now, what you missed: They were not good at keeping emotions from reaching their faces. The two, Shuuichi and Hiei, looked distinctly interested when they heard our names. That disappeared after the mind scan, which was just enough to find out what we were thinking, not even enough to know what we were feeling.

_The stress of differentiation during synthesis was starting to become painful. The point had been taken. They pulled away from each other._

* * *

Naruto gasped and wiped at the sweat accumulating on his face. He could feel thoughts fading away that he knew were not his. 

Synthesis was when they entered the state that being in their home put them in. They completely lost small details in their personality, and important character-defining ones were spread over the whole. In other words, it was a perfect synthesis of minds.

The longer they stayed in a synthesized state, the more they lost their individuality.

Though the identity loss didn't last very long.

But it would not be good if someone chanced to see them when they were synthesized, later mentioning it to the group they had met. It was an extremely small chance, of course, but they knew from experience that so-called "small chances" often turned out to become reality.

And besides, there was that English phrase "better safe than sorry".

* * *

Sorry the update took a few days. I won't be able to update so often because the modem fried and it will be harder to access the internet now.

Since Nibi is the only suggestion, and because I don't trust my ability to think up names, I'll use it. Thank you for the suggestion, SilverMononoke.  


And, in case anyone was interested in the details of the list, I'll put it here:

1. No killing anyone.

2. No use of Kekkai Genkai.

3. No letting non-shinobi (or kunoichi) know that unsual hair colors are natural.

4. No use of jutsu.

5. No use of shinobi tools.

6. No attacking any non-shinobi.

7. No using enough chakra to make it visible.

8. No use of chakra without wands.

9. No slacking off.

10. (For Shino) No use of bug hordes. Just a few are okay, though, so long as their origin remains unknown.  


I hope I'm not missing anything.

This is the most dedicated chapter that I have made yet. It's actually not a first draft.  



	11. On The Train

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, HP, or Naruto

Shikamaru was glad that he, Ino, and Chouji were the first group to come to the station. Otherwise they would have been sitting in the station until after the train departed, since Ino kept on finding new friends, as it was they had to go into a compartment that already had two people in it.

Ino decided to go into the compartment next to it, because one of her new friends were there.

It was just before they separated that they felt something urgent, a need to have the entire group meet as soon as possible. They looked at each other, and nodded.

They couldn't do it immediately; it would have to be after the train reached its destination.

* * *

Harry looked up as the door opened. 

"Mind if we sit here?" It was a guy with a really short topknot. He looked bored.

"No." Harry replied.

"Thanks." He sat down with someone else, a guy munching on potato chips.

"So, what are your names?" Ron asked.

"Shikamaru Nara, this is Chouji Akimichi, what's yours?"

"I'm Ron Weasley."

"I'm Harry Potter." There seemed to be something about them… something Harry just couldn't put his finger on, it bothered him. Perhaps it was the way Chouji was wolfing down the chips one by one without seeming to breathe. No, that wasn't it. It was just above his mouth, the eyes. They were closed, but they seemed to be looking through him.

He switched his gaze to Shikamaru's eyes; they seemed to do the same thing, though he was looking out the window.

But there was something else…

* * *

It was short, but it seemed like the right place to end.

I'm skipping the rest of the train ride, since I tried a few times to go into detail on it, and it didn't work.


	12. Getting Sorted

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

The train had stopped, and the first-year students would soon be getting on the boats.

The shinobi and kunoichi took it as an opportunity.

They had to use a temporary illusionary jutsu to make sure that no one would take any notice of them while they were synthesized.

* * *

_Darkness… complete darkness, there were no longer twelve shapes; they could all see each other clearly. Those twelve, however, were vaguely curious as to why they had broken the fourth rule so soon (no one really expected it to hold up long, of course)._

There are four students here of Japanese origin. They are looking for someone, probably us.

_It was irrelevant who spoke._

_That was all to be said; understanding flowed quickly through the bond of synthesis._

* * *

The synthesis broke hard and fast, leaving the shinobi and kunoichi mildly disoriented for a moment. 

They dispelled the illusionary jutsu, and Hagrid put five in each boat, since they were all smaller than the average student.

* * *

McGonagall gave them a brief description of the houses, and left for a few minutes. 

There was a mild commotion in the entrance hall, when "Harry Potter coming to Hogwarts" was announced by some high-and-mighty looking kid.

The shinobi and kunoichi ignored it, as it had nothing to do with them.

Professor McGonagall soon came back, and told the first years to get in a line and follow her into the Great Hall, which they did. She went to a stool, and put an old hat on it.

A few shinobi and kunoichi wondered what its age was in comparison to theirs.

It sang its song, which they really didn't pay much attention to; they got the general idea. Soon the students started getting sorted.

* * *

"… Shikamaru Nara!" 

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered as he walked up and sat on the stool. McGonagall put the hat on his head.

_There seems to be something… odd… here. This feels rather stuffy. Impressive intelligence, that makes this rather simple._

"Ravenclaw!"

Shikamaru picked up a sense of relief. Odd, eh? Interesting, but it would probably become troublesome later on. If he could let the others know, so that they could hide the abnormal psych that came with immortality, then the hat would attribute it his unusual intellect.

But he had to get the message through, first.

He couldn't synthesize in this crowd, but he could send a quick, short feeling through to the others without major problems.

He walked over to the Ravenclaw table, doing a hand seal and making it look as if he was just fiddling with his hands.

The candles made his work a lot easier.

He sent a feeling of focus, a need to see every little detail. Then he molded shadows to make a Japanese symbol, releasing it barely a second after making it.

He sat down, hoping they got the message.

"Naruto Uzumaki!" He had missed the person sorted just after him, but that was irrelevant. It dropped right out of his head as he saw what Naruto was doing.

Striding up to the stool and jumping on it, Naruto struck a heroic pose in front of all the school in his new wizard robes. And hoped that the ratty hat that dropped onto his head from nerveless fingers didn't ruin it too much.

"All right, all you wizards and witches! I, Naruto Uzumaki, am here, and will personally…" he was cut off by the sorting hat, which yelled over him.

"Griffindor!"

This was greeted by shocked silence all around, not from where Naruto was sorted into, of course, just surprise at his… entrance.

It was also greeted by a challenging look in Lee's eyes.

Naruto strode over to the table and sat down, slightly disgruntled.

"Sasuke Uchiha!" He walked slowly toward the stool, carefully checking his mental defenses. He wouldn't guard everything, because it would probably not be to his benefit if he did. He felt the hat slide onto his head.

_Hm, you are good at guarding your thoughts. Seems as if you've had practice… I wonder, from what?_

_I don't need to answer you._

The Hat tried to go deeper into his mind, but found it blocked off. Apparently it wouldn't be getting any more information, but it felt that it could accurately guess the house that he would go into from what it did know.

"Slytherin!"

Sasuke walked briskly to the Slytherin table. Some more sorting went by.

* * *

"… Ino Yamanaka!" Ino swaggered up and made sure that there was no dust on the stool before sitting on it. Her own mental defenses had a somewhat unique touch. 

The Hat tried to find anything that wasn't about clothes, hair, or Sasuke. It could find an extreme loyalty to friends, and a willingness to die for them, or with them… what was this? Death didn't seem to be a big deal to her, not something normally found in an eleven-year-old girl. But something about that didn't seem to fit, the Hat was curious, but it couldn't find out just what was out of place. At least it knew what it needed to know.

"Hufflepuff!"

Ino grimaced as she walked toward the Hufflepuff table; she had felt the Hat delving into a chink in her mental defenses that she hadn't noticed. Hopefully it didn't find too much.

The Sand Siblings all went to Slytherin.

"Shino Aburame!" Shino walked up to stool. He could almost feel the eyes trained on his collar.

_There seems to be some interference, your thoughts are… fuzzy._

Not good… this was going to be tricky. He erected some mental barriers, hoping that the Hat wouldn't notice, and told the bugs in his head to go lower, taking down the barriers afterwards.

_Hm, whatever you did seems to have worked. Mind sharing what it was?_

_Yes._

_Not very talkative, apparently, but I'm finding an unusual amount of knowledge on bugs in here… never heard of Bikochuu…_

Shino slammed the mental defenses back into place.

_Ow… sorry, went on a little there…_

"Ravenclaw!"

Shino walked quickly away from the stool with that accursed hat.

Tenten got sorted into Hufflepuff.

"Lee Rock!" Lee was still wondering just how flashy he could be in the few seconds it would take for him to go to the hat, get sorted, and get to his table, and didn't notice his name being called.

"_Lee Rock!"_ Lee snapped out of it, and smiled, making sure his teeth flashed. He did a weird-looking pose.

"Alright! The springtime of youth calls!" He hopped up to the stool, hopping onto it like Naruto had, only on one foot instead of two, and spinning around to face the majority of the crowd without putting the second foot down. He tried to ignore it when the hat dropped over his eyes.

He put his other foot down quickly, and gave a thumb up sign, smiling, with another sparkle.

"Griffindor!"

He was glad when he could see again, and strode over to where Naruto was sitting.

The students were downright scared from the image of Lee, with his eyes obscured, making the sparkling smile look creepy when it was put together with his wizard robes and the tattered Sorting Hat. The Sorting Hats face didn't help at all.

Those with Muggle parents felt as though they had just come out of a horror film.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sorted. Along with the high-and-mighty kid, now known to be Draco Malfoy.

"Kiba Inuzuka!" Akamaru barked, and Kiba sat down on the stool.

_Something seems messed up here… as if it was messed up multiple times…_

Kiba mentally growled.

_Okay, I get it…_

"Hufflepuff!"

Kiba stalked away from the Hat.

"Sakura Haruno!" Sakura walked up, hoping to get sorted into Slytherin with Sasuke.

_Well, you certainly study a lot…_

"Ravenclaw!"

Sakura walked, dismayed, to the Ravenclaw table. At least Ino hadn't gotten into Slytherin, either.

"Hinata Hyuuga!" Hinata walked timidly toward the hat that suddenly seemed to become intimidating.

_This is easy…_

"Hufflepuff!"

Hinata walked toward the Hufflepuff table, disappointed that she hadn't gotten into Griffindor.

"Neji Hyuuga!" Neji walked toward the Hat.

_You seem rather interesting…_

_That is irrelevant._

_Not really. The _fact_ that you are interesting is irrelevant, but _why_ you are interesting is another matter entirely._

Neji hoped that the Hat didn't mean what he thought it meant by that. He checked his mental defenses to make sure, and was relieved to find them intact. So, that meant that the Hat just found his personality interesting. Good…

"Griffindor!"

Neji sighed with relief and slid off the stool.

"Chouji Akimichi!" Chouji started walking, eating his potato chips at the same time.

… _Is there anything besides food in here?_

_Try finding Shikamaru._

Impressive… he could make mental barriers to block the Hat, but also a key thought in case he was hiding too much for it to sort him. The Hat thought about Shikamaru, and felt new paths in Chouji's personality open up. It didn't take much searching to know where to put Chouji.

"Hufflepuff!"

Chouji waddled away.

* * *

The rest of the Sorting passed smoothly, until at the end when Dumbledore announced the arrival of four transfer students from Japan, who would now be sorted. 

"Yusuke Urameshi!" Yusuke strolled up.

_I see… arrogance…_

Yusuke didn't take that well. He loudly insulted the hat in Japanese, and any student that hadn't been paying attention earlier did so now.

_Well, it's not all arrogance, just close._

"Hufflepuff!"

Yusuke stomped away from the hat, still muttering insults in Japanese.

"Kazuma Kuwabara!" Kuwabara wondered if he could put on a show like Naruto or Lee. He took one look at the rickety stool and disregarded the notion; those two were small, probably light, and he was large and heavy. He sat down, hoping the stool wouldn't break beneath his weight.

_Well, you can face demons, but not a stool? Sorry, I know where to put you...  
_

"Griffindor!"

Kuwabara walked away quickly.

"Hiei Jaganshi!" So, they kept the name, did they? Sasuke watched as the hat sorted Hiei into Slytherin.

"Shuuichi Minamino!" Kurama sat down lightly.

_Hm, very interesting…_

"Ravenclaw!"

Kurama walked away. After he was seated, Dumbledore made some announcements, gave a short speech, and afterwards the feast began.

* * *

Lots of sorting...

I'm facing a slight dilemma. I don't want the Reikai Tantei to be able to immediately know who the shinobi and kunoichi are, but I don't know how to avoid it when all of their names are so obviously Japanese. Suggestions are welcome, though I hope to be able to come up with a reasonable excuse just in case.

I'll try to make paragraphs, but I think I'll have more success trying to make chapters longer. Thank you for pointing those out.

Thank you for enjoying the story. I really appreciate it.

I didn't go into detail on Tenten or the Sand Siblings because I don't know their last names.  



	13. Morning

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Everyone was sleeping. Owls hooted, and something was wrong. Eikichi hissed at the air, which seemed to be extra heavy. Beside her, Nibi unsheathed his claws. It passed, and they relaxed.

* * *

A shadow passed through the four dormitories, touching each of the Reikai Tantei. Any thought, or notion, that any of a certain fifteen students might be a shinobi or kunoichi slipped silently from their minds. They slept on, blissfully unaware.

* * *

_Darkness…_

_This was not quite synthesis, where their minds lost any trace of individuality and they were simply one mind._

_No, this was just sleep. They didn't dream, and didn't remain any longer than the time it took to regain their energy (not that they couldn't remain longer, but rather that they wouldn't). But, as in synthesis, they could communicate. The difference being that they could retain their own thoughts._

_Most of the time, they just waited until they could wake up without getting fatigued. This time, though, they felt something pass through the air, through each individual dormitory, a shadow._

_They shuddered, recoiling from it._

* * *

Morning dawned bright and clear, not really reflecting Kurama's current mood. He felt as if he had forgotten something, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what it was. He did not forget things often (perhaps once a century) and he hated it when he did. Not only that, but he felt that it was important, very important. 

Herbology first thing in the morning, it made him feel slightly better.

He breathed deeply the scent of a large variety of plants as he walked into the greenhouse with the rest of the class. The smells relaxed him, and he carefully scanned his surroundings to further calm himself. He noticed that Shino, who was next to him, also seemed to relax when he stepped into the greenhouse. They were with the slytherins.

The professor hadn't arrived quite yet, so Kurama occupied himself by thinking about the mission. Fifteen unfound shinobi. Kurama looked at the students around him, as it was likely that the subjects would be scattered around the houses.

His eyes slid right by seven of them.

* * *

Shikamaru gazed at the various plants, since the greenhouse obscured the clouds. 

Sakura was intrigued by the plants, but gave them only sparing glances as she wondered if Sasuke would decline if she asked him on a date… an unwelcome memory came up at that thought, and she hurriedly dismissed the notion.

Sasuke and the Sand Siblings were somewhat impatient.

The professor entered, and class began.

* * *

Paragraphs!

Kind of...

Sort of...

Not really...

But better than before. It's getting harder and harder for me to update (I think something is conspiring against me), but I'll still be updating often (I hope). Sorry I didn't go through the class, that will be next chapter, after I get ideas for it, which shouldn't take too long. Please tell me if you still don't understand synthesis, and I'll try to go deeper on it. I tried on this chapter, but I don't think it worked out very well.  


Thank you for telling me how to improve my writing!


	14. They Started Off on the Wrong Foot

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, HP, or Naruto

"Today we are going to be extracting a special type of sand from these Rock Plants." Professor Sprout announced. The students looked at the plants, most thinking the same thing; _this is a plant?_

Gaara twitched, Professor Sprout continued, "before we start, however, I will explain the reason. You see; there seems to be a strange plague running through the wizard community. It is not particularly dangerous, thank goodness, but it has some symptoms that temporarily cripple a wizard or witch. It does not seem to spread to muggles. The sand from the Rock Plant is an essential ingredient in the cure, if you want more details, they can be found in the Daily Prophet.

"Now, how to extract the sand…" Shikamaru moved next to Gaara and nudged him, whispering "Rule 4." Gaara folded his arms and clenched his hands into fists, whispering back an English phrase, "old habits die hard." Shikamaru smiled and answered, "habits this old won't die at all." He was just glad that Gaara's habit of killing people had died young.

* * *

Kurama finished extracting his sand quickly, and noticed a ravenclaw and a slytherin who seemed to be getting along fairly well. Could they be shinobi? No, for some reason, they just couldn't be.

* * *

Something hurtled through the wall, shattering the glass. The shinobi and kunoichi started making hand seals before they even realized what they were doing. Luckily, no one noticed.

What was just a blur a moment ago resolved into Naruto as he spun ninety degrees and ran out the door. The hole in the glass became dramatically larger as Yusuke came through, followed by Kuwabara. "Where'd he go?" Yusuke demanded.

"You just missed him." Kurama answered patiently, pointing out the door.

"Thanks!" Yusuke and Kuwabara continued their pursuit.

"Oh, my! Class dismissed!" Professor Sprout hurried away in search of Dumbledore, since she had no idea how to deal with this type of thing.

Kurama and Hiei looked at each other, deciding to follow Yusuke and Kuwabara since the next class wouldn't be for at least another half-hour.

Hiei quickly got ahead of the others.

* * *

Naruto ran faster as he felt someone closing in on him.

_They weren't this fast a moment ago…_

He felt his breath knocked out as something large (comparatively speaking) hit him.

"_Moron._ Don't run so fast. Look over there." Naruto blinked spots from his vision and looked up at Sasuke, then over to where he was pointing. He saw the two he had pulled that prank on, and then another two with them. He noticed that he and the other shinobi and kunoichi from Herbology were concealed in a tree on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

"One in each house." Shikamaru quietly remarked.

"Those are the 'transfer students'." Kankuro pointed out.

"Hm? Transfer students?" Naruto asked.

"Idiot!" Sakura held her fist in check.

"If they don't find Naruto, they might get suspicious." Shino said.

"Don't worry, I've been thinking about that, and the solution is pretty simple." Shikamaru replied.

* * *

The Reikai Tantei turned around when they heard someone coming up behind them.

"Ah! How did you get ahead of me!? Are you aliens or something!?" Naruto screamed, pointing at them. Kurama and Hiei wondered why they had bothered to follow Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"There you are! How dare you-" Kuwabara stopped in shock as Yusuke jumped at Naruto.

"Ha! I'll bet you're in disguise! Only an old, senile ninja would dare insult Yusuke Urameshi!" It popped into his head, and he had acted without a second thought. Kurama inwardly groaned; why couldn't Yusuke keep his mouth shut for once? Obviously, this was not a shinobi. But who knew where they _could_ be? If nothing else, they could _try_ to be inconspicuous.

Naruto was confused for a moment. _Old? Senile? _Visions of the Third Hokage came up. Anger rose and Naruto copied Yusuke, who was pulling on his cheeks to see if he was wearing a mask.

"Who's in disguise? Only an old coot would consider others to be like himself!"

It deteriorated from there.

* * *

Professors Sprout and Dumbledore soon arrived on the scene, pausing to watch the scuffle for a moment before breaking it up. Kurama and Hiei had left the area, opting to remain uninvolved. The rest of the shinobi and kunoichi were sitting in the trees, unnoticed. There had been a slight break between classes, since the incident had gotten all the houses involved. They had five minutes before they had to be in class.

After the professors left, leaving Naruto and Yusuke with detentions, Yusuke had gone to his next class. And Naruto was left facing fourteen irritated shinobi and kunoichi.

"You would think that he would grow up when given a few millennia to do so." Ino remarked.

"_Na…ru…to…_" Sakura ground out each syllable.

"Well, we avoided suspicion due to Naruto's stupidity." Sasuke said. Naruto glared at him.

"But let's try to avoid situations that make avoiding suspicion a priority." Shikamaru added.

"Humph." Naruto pouted.

They separated to go to classes.

* * *

I don't know how well that turned out. It seems like it's missing something.

What's happening with the others? I'm sorry, I don't understand. Others from Naruto? Others from Harry Potter? Or others from Yu Yu Hakusho?


	15. Would It Ruin Your Appetite?

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

It was lunchtime.

Yusuke sat, stuffing his face and wondering why he had thought Naruto was a shinobi. It didn't seem to make sense now that he thought about it. He heard a sharp intake of breath to his right. He looked at Sakura.

"Hm? Something wrong?" She held up two schedules.

"You know the two who were with me at the station, right? Naruto and Sasuke?" She asked. Yusuke grimaced; he wasn't on good terms with either of them.

"Yeah?"

"They gave me some copies of their schedules, so we know who's going to be with who." She said.

"So it's something to do with the schedules?" Yusuke asked.

"Yes. Griffindor and Slytherin have a class together today." She sounded like she was dreading it.

"So? Do they not like each other or something?" Yusuke was confused.

"Their relationship is… complicated. I don't understand it myself, suffice it to say that we're going to want to be far away when that class comes around." Yep, she was dreading it. Yusuke congratulated himself for his brilliant deduction.

"Well, we're going to be in another class, so we won't be involved in whatever happens, right?" Sakura looked at him as if he were an idiot.

"This school isn't big enough for us to get far enough away from where they're going to be."

That was certainly surprising. Yusuke started to feel a little dread as well. That's when he noticed something.

"Say, Kuwabara and Hiei are in Griffindor and Slytherin, too." He noted.

"So are Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy." Someone to the left of him remarked. Yusuke looked at him, recognizing him as that Shino guy.

"What class are we going to be in?" Yusuke wondered as he pulled out his schedule. Sakura glanced at it before looking back at the ones in her hands.

"Let's see… we'll be in Care of Magical Creatures." She said.

"Well, that's outside, right? Then it should be fine." Yusuke was unsure of that himself, actually. He didn't know how bad the relationship was between Naruto and Sasuke, or even the one between Harry and Draco, but he knew enough about Kuwabara and Hiei to hope that they were on the opposite side of the castle during whatever class they were going to be in together.

* * *

Kind of short... At least it makes me feel better to know that I update often enough to make up for it (I think...). I may be able to update again tomorrow.

I noticed while I was in the middle of writing that Yusuke is in Hufflepuff, not Ravenclaw, but I figured out an (I hope) acceptable excuse, since I didn't want to revise the entire chapter:

Obviously, Griffindor and Slytherin would not be sitting with each other. But I figured that Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff probably wouldn't think too much about it.

And, for the "we're going to be in another class" Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw will be having Care of Magical Creatures together.

No real paragraphs there T.T


	16. A Letter

Disclaimer: I do own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Koenma paced. There were fifteen, how hard could it be to find them? He slipped on something.

Holding his head with tears streaming out of his eyes, he looked at the offending item. It was a letter. He grabbed the note, and crumpled it. He stomped on it for good measure, and then decided to take a look at it.

It took some time to unfold it, and it ripped a little in the process.

(A large blot of ink where Koenma's tears had hit it)

(Written in Katakana)_ Above I have listed the names of the shinobi and kunoichi that you are looking for. Expect an arrival a month or two from the first. _

_- Kakashi_

Koenma's eyebrow twitched. There was a little ink dripping onto the floor like black tears. He tore up the letter, and called for Botan, telling her to be ready to bring the Reikai Tantei, and, if she could, Dumbledore, to Spirit World on a moments' notice.

It had been over a month. This "arrival" could be any time now.

* * *

The time that would be traveled and the place that would be traveled to had been set, so they couldn't go earlier than the first arrival, though it would be somewhat difficult to work with if they could and did. It had taken a week to secure the one that they would send. He hadn't complained after the situation had been explained. 

After this one, there would be two more that were available to send. Hopefully they wouldn't have to resort to the final one.

It would be ready in a few days.

* * *

Potions… had not gone well. It was a good thing that Snape favored Slytherin, and had stopped a major catastrophe by assigning a couple detentions to Kuwabara and Naruto. 

Dumbledore, who had heard some (very) loud sounds from the classroom, and thinking about the distance between his office, near the top of the castle (and where he had been), and the Potions classroom, near the bottom, decided to investigate.

After he had learned the details, he decided to rework the entire years' schedules for some specific students.

* * *

Again, kind of short.

But I think my writing is improving.


	17. Centaurs Like Ramen

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Naruto looked around suspiciously as he crept into the Forbidden Forest. "Crept" being a relative term, of course. He was taking a roundabout route, utilizing chakra freely to walk parallel to the ground. The weird guys looking for them had gone with the headmaster somewhere, seeming to be in a great hurry, so Naruto figured that this was the perfect opportunity to try a new technique that he had been honing for… seven… no, eight decades. Perfect opportunity meaning, of course, that instead of there being a possibility of getting caught by a shinobi, kunoichi, professor, or _those_ guys, now there was just a chance of getting caught by a shinobi, kunoichi, or professor.

Oh, yeah, and there was one less professor to worry about.

This place had some similarities to the Forest of Death… ah… good times…

Naruto stopped abruptly and decided on a patch of ground for his technique. He rubbed his hands together, grinning.

He looked around again, he was sure he had heard something…

Seeing nothing, he went back to the little patch of ground that he had picked out. He rolled up his sleeves, bit his finger, and slapped the ground.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" There was a puff of smoke, and in the spot Naruto had slapped there was now a bowl of ramen, a _big_ bowl of ramen.

One little thing… he had forgotten to adjust the size of the chopsticks… maybe someone passing by would think they were just fallen trees… unless it was a shinobi or kunoichi… a phrase that he often heard popped into his head, and he heard someone behind him repeat it out loud.

"How troublesome…" Naruto turned around slowly… sure enough; Shikamaru was standing there, looking up at the ramen bowl. Naruto backed away slowly, until he was pressed against the side of the ramen bowl. He looked around, spotting the rest of the shinobi and kunoichi standing in the trees.

"I… uh…" Naruto said around chattering teeth.

"Who dares bring this… this thing? Into our forest!" Someone demanded. Naruto turned to see a centaur glaring at the ramen bowl.

"I can explain!" Naruto looked desperately at the others, but they had apparently decided to see how Naruto would handle this. Shikamaru jumped onto the branch with Chouji, and they sat watching while munching on potato chips.

Naruto reluctantly turned back to the centaur; he didn't want to turn his back to the fourteen, but he didn't want to watch them while talking to the centaur. It would be rude… and he didn't want to offend it… any more than he had…

"Go on." The centaur challenged.

"Uh… would you like something to eat while I explain?" Naruto offered, trying to buy time.

"Surely you don't mean from… _that?_" The centaur asked looking doubtfully at the bowl.

"Well… actually… I'll get some for you!" Naruto said nervously. He spun around and sprinted up the side of the bowl. Only when he reached the top did he wonder how he would bring any of it down. If there was some way to use chakra to solve this… that centaur looked like he was getting impatient… Naruto looked at the ramen, and down at the ground. He dropped the idea of carrying some down, and opted for a different approach.

He jumped off the bowl and onto the branch that Gaara was standing on.

"Oi, Oi! Gaara! Would you please, please, please, please, _please _make a bridge of sand up to the rim of the bowl? _Please?_"

Gaara stared at him.

"Please?"

Gaara's eye twitched.

"Fine."

He made a hand seal, and some sand on the ground started shifting, grinding more sand, which shifted to grind even more. When there was enough, it started forming into a spiral bridge from the ground in front of the centaur to the rim of the ramen bowl.

"Thank you!" Naruto darted back to the centaur, which was staring at the sparkling sand bridge, dumbfounded.

"Now, I don't have any bowls with me, but I have some chopsticks…" Naruto got onto the bridge and looked back. The centaur was still staring at the bridge.

"It's safe to walk on, come on." Naruto said. The centaur snapped out of it, and tentatively stepped onto the bridge. Finding it stable, he took another step, and another, until he was walking slowly.

"That's it! Follow me!" Naruto ran up the bridge, and the centaur hurried to catch up.

After they reached the top, Naruto showed the centaur how to hold the chopsticks. He caught on quickly, and after one bite of ramen seemed to become addicted to it.

* * *

The centaur soon left, coming to the conclusion that the other shinobi and kunoichi were with Naruto. He came back with a group of centaurs, and after they had had some ramen, the two groups came to an agreement that in exchange for teaching the centaurs how to make ramen, the shinobi and kunoichi would have free passage through the Forbidden Forest.

The shinobi and kunoichi had to temporarily synthesize since only Naruto, Sakura, and Chouji knew how to make ramen. Luckily, the centaurs caught on quick, and were soon able to practice on their own without help. It would be a long time before they were really able to make ramen, but if they practiced enough then they would eventually get the hang of it.

* * *

The Reikai Tantei plus Dumbledore hurried into Koenma's office, immediately falling back, coughing, from the smoke pouring out of it.

It cleared after a few minutes, and they cautiously walked in. Koenma was inside, sitting on his desk and coughing. There was one other figure in the room, but it had its back to them, so all they could see was a huge white ponytail.

It chuckled.

The Reikai Tantei and Dumbledore walked further into the room so that they could see who arrived.

"Who are you?" Koenma asked after he had stopped coughing. The arrival grinned.

"Well, some know me as…" He did a freaky pose, waiting a few seconds (with some explosions in the background) "Jiraiya!"

* * *

That took nearly a week to update! T.T

Sorry for the cliffhanger, I was running out of time. T.T

It seemed really disjointed when I read over it, but it seems fine now...

I won't be able to update tomorrow, but I'll see if I can two days from now.


	18. Second Arrival

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

That was somewhat hard to stay sane through… at least the smoke had lasted long enough for the spots to clear from his vision and the ringing to fade from his ears. Still, Jiraiya paused before saying his name so the disorientation could finish fading.

"Jiraiya? That sounds familiar…" Yusuke said.

"Well, it would, since there's a folktale about him." Kurama pointed out.

"Oh? A folktale?" Jiraiya was flattered.

"I'm not very good with folktales, but even I know that one." Kuwabara said.

"Well? How does it go?" Jiraiya asked.

"Hm… it's coming to me now… there was someone called Jiraiya…" Yusuke said, digging through his memory.

"Of course, and?" Jiraiya prompted.

"He fell in love with a princess…" Jiraiya folded his arms and nodded wisely.

"Called Tsunade…" Jiraiya made a low choking sound.

"And there was this other guy… who used to be his follower…" Naruto, maybe? He certainly followed Jiraiya around enough… but that wouldn't make any sense…

"Orochimaru… I think…" Orochimaru?! Follower?! What _baka_ would _ever_ come to the conclusion that _Orochimaru_ was Jiraiya's _follower_ at _any_ point in history?!

_Orochimaru… follower… folktale… meaning that almost everyone in Japan would think… my beautiful reputation… has been corrupted…_

"We're not here to discuss folktales!" Koenma snapped, "Jiraiya-san, do you think you could tell us the names?"

"Names? Of who?" Jiraiya asked, confused.

"The shinobi and kunoichi that we're searching for!"

"Didn't you get the letter?"

"Well… about that…" Koenma was suddenly keenly aware of the eyes pointed in his direction.

"Letter?" Dumbledore asked.

"Kakashi left a letter here, surely you found it?" Jiraiya was getting slightly impatient.

"Uh… that's not important!" Koenma moved his arms behind his back, since he was holding the pitiful remains of the letter, half the pieces in one fist and half the pieces in the other. Jiraiya narrowed his eyes.

Koenma wasn't sure quite what happened. One moment he was holding the pieces of the letter, and the next he wasn't. One moment Jiraiya was standing in front of him, and the next he was directly behind him.

"Well… I suppose this complicates things a bit. I'm running out of chakra, and I haven't told you what I was supposed to tell you yet." Jiraiya was suddenly far more serious than he had been a minute ago. He walked back to where he had appeared.

"Well… how to put this? I don't have time to write down the names so that you can remember them, there's too much else to do. You'll have to do without. We need to set a time for the next arrival, and don't do it too soon, we only have one more with enough chakra to make this trip. No one can make it twice, due to the strain on ones sanity." 

"Then come when the term ends. The shinobi and kunoichi should have been found and brought here by then. They have no reason to trust us, so someone they know should be here. Hopefully we'll learn everything then." Koenma answered.

Jiraiya nodded, "when does the term end?"

Koenma slapped his forehead, "just come back in nine months."

Jiraiya gave a thumbs-up sign, meanwhile deciding how flashy he would make his exit with the little remaining chakra.

"Do you think you could tell us a way to find the shinobi?" Kurama asked. Jiraiya was hit with inspiration.

"Actions speak louder than words." Jiraiya replied. He made some hand seals, and since this room wasn't large enough for Gamabunta, he stuck with Gamakichi. He was about to do a Rasengan, but then his chakra dropped to zero, and he disappeared. After dropping colorful smoke bombs, of course… maybe he should have done that in the beginning, instead of wasting chakra… then his exit could have been a little flashier…

* * *

According to my sources, that really is a Japanese folktale.


	19. Flashback, Rescued by Something

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"What is 'chakra' anyway?" Yusuke wondered.

"I'm pretty sure it's another word for energy. Regular chakra is Spirit Energy, and demon chakra is Demon Energy. The word is seldom used, though." Kurama answered.

"I didn't hear a lot of what he said, those fireworks in the background were too loud." Kuwabara said.

"If that fool hadn't been doing those 'fireworks' he could have given us names, descriptions, and every little quirk about each and every one of the shinobi and kunoichi in detail." Hiei remarked angrily, "I scanned him. He was deliberately wasting energy, as if it was a habit.

"When Koenma asked for their names, they flashed in the fools' head too fast for me to catch."

* * *

Sakura went carefully through the letter. It was from one of her contacts in Reikai. It was information on the Reikai Tantei, and doubtless Kankuro, Neji, Hinata, and Ino would be getting similar letters. Each of the teams had one person to gather information from each world. For Team 7, Sakura had the job of collecting information from Reikai, Sasuke from Makai, and Naruto from Ningenkai. It was a system that helped them keep up with the times. 

She frowned. If this was anything to go by, than the shinobi and kunoichi had to make sure that a certain few of them (those with loud mouths) were never caught alone. Otherwise the likelihood of them letting slip… certain things… was very high.

If anything happened, it could always be reported during sleep.

* * *

Malfoy was in the mood to taunt some Griffindors… and there was one, just ahead. There were no classes today, so there was plenty of time… 

Shining black hair… thick eyebrows… it was all a bit creepy, and had been getting on Malfoy's nerves. But he had a plan all set… they were in the courtyard, so there would be plenty of witnesses.

"Hey, Lee." Malfoy greeted.

"Yes?" Lee turned to face him.

"Are your eyebrows natural, or did you glue caterpillars to your face?"

"They're natural, why?" That was _not_ what Malfoy had expected. It wasn't completely unexpected, though.

"I'll bet if you asked someone, they'd agree with me." Malfoy challenged. Lee took the bait, and turned to the nearest ninja (A/N I couldn't do "shinobi" because it's a kunoichi, and I couldn't do "kunoichi" because that would sound wrong).

"Sakura, do you think my eyebrows look like caterpillars?" Lee asked. Sakura was caught off-guard.

"Uh… well…" she stammered.

"Apparently, she does." Lee looked upward with those creepy little fires in his eyes, "however, being the youthful person she is, she does not wish to agree simply for the sake of agreeing. All who are in the Springtime of Youth must naturally disagree with something!"

Malfoy, now officially scared, got various thoughts mixed up, and said the first thing that popped into his head; "I'll bet she's a mudblood."

Lee immediately fell into a fighting stance, "I don't understand what that means, but it sounds gross, and insulting."

Well, it hadn't been expected, but this wouldn't be hard to deal with. Malfoy nodded to Crabbe and Goyle, who stepped forward, cracking their knuckles.

Lee dispatched them with a strange looking spin kick, and jumped in front of Malfoy, "_you_ are my opponent."

Malfoy had barely made out the blur, which reminded him of the last potions class with Griffindor…

* * *

_He wasn't sure how it had started. Professor Snape had left for a few minutes to get some ingredients, that he had apparently forgotten, and Malfoy had just started insulting Griffindor._

_Then that Naruto guy had said something…_

_And Sasuke's reply had made him mad…_

_And then Naruto's reply made Sasuke mad…_

_And then they disappeared, for just a moment though._

_They collided in the center of the room, locking together for a moment and jumping back, glaring at each other. They reached into pouches that Malfoy hadn't noticed before, pulling out some sharp metal objects (they looked like throwing stars), which they threw at each other._

_The "clang" they made midway was like a signal._

_Malfoy could only see blurs now, never staying in one place, never going very far from each other, and knocking things down with impunity. They were making a huge racket, and the unfinished potions flying everywhere didn't help._

_Then they flew toward each other. Instead of a crash, though, they suddenly seemed to fuse, remaining blurs for a split second before resolving into Naruto and Sasuke. That was when Malfoy heard what had made them stop, namely, the door opening, falling off of crumbling hinges in the process._

_Snape came in, followed by Dumbledore. They gaped when they saw the combatants in the middle of the room. It was for just an instant, though. If Malfoy had blinked he would have missed it, as it immediately turned into glaring._

_Naruto and Sasuke were mirror images of each other, each facing the other with a foot raised, mid-kick._

_The professors turned their attention to the state of the room, which by now was very poor. Potions made with varying degrees of progress and skill had mixed together in unhealthy combinations, melting whatever they touched, exploding, and/or letting off a foul odor (one particularly nasty combination had caused the now ruined door hinges to decay at an alarming rate). The result was a room full of destroyed chairs and desks (along with some homework), and with its walls, ceiling, and floor practically polka-dotted with holes._

_The professors were less than pleased._

_… and that was when Malfoy noticed that Hiei and Kuwabara were gripping each others throats…_

* * *

So far there hadn't been another class with Griffindor and Slytherin first-years together, and Malfoy wondered if that was just a coincidence, or if the professors were deliberately trying to keep Naruto and Sasuke apart. 

_What I don't understand, though,_ he thought as he sprinted away from Lee,_ is, why do I often see them walking together with Sakura between classes? Then they seem to get along fine…_

Wait, when did Lee get in front of him? Malfoy spun around to avoid him, and felt himself getting kicked into air. He heard a "chink" from somewhere below and behind him, and then, strangely enough, his fall was cushioned by sand.

He looked at Lee, and was surprised to see one of the bandages on his hands slightly unwrapped, and pinned to the wall by a little blade-like thing. Not about to question this stroke of luck, or even the sand, he beat a hasty retreat with the now conscious Crabbe and Goyle.

Lee pulled the kunai out of his bandage, and let them go.

* * *

I finally remembered to do that flash-back...  


Technically, major disastor _was_ avoided.

After all, no students were killed, and the room (though full of holes) did not fall apart.

Kuwabara and Hiei would not have actually killed each other, but they might come close.

I need to get Harry, Ron, and Hermione to come in more...  



	20. Kunai Incident

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Kuwabara picked up a little blade-like thing lying on the ground. Yusuke walked up next to him, "what's that?"

"I don't know, it was just lying here…"

Kuwabara handed the weird object to Yusuke, who looked at it a little, shrugged, and tossed it over his shoulder. It landed at Hiei's feet.

Hiei picked it up, subconsciously aimed for the largest cluster of ningen children, and tossed it in their general direction, somewhat distracted. He was surprised when nothing seemed to happen, but didn't pay much attention.

_Those two…_

They thought in English, but after that display in Potions, he seriously thought they might be shinobi. But then, why did they fight each other? He had scanned them again, and felt… a memory… of murderous intent… as if the fight reminded them of another one… or perhaps more… where they had tried to kill each other…

He wondered if he should tell the others… no, he would just tell them that Naruto and Sasuke were probably shinobi.

Kiba caught a kunai that had been flying near him, and started to drop it into his pouch. He caught himself, and on a whim tossed it at Naruto, who tossed it at Tenten. A kind of (potentially lethal) game started.

When it got to Neji, though, he dropped it into his pouch.

Kurama watched something small flash between students, before disappearing…

* * *

(Later)

* * *

_Sleep…_

"_I wonder why those four didn't suspect us after they heard our names…" Tenten wondered._

"_I've been thinking about that, and I've come to a conclusion." Shikamaru said, "The… shadow on the first night. It was a remnant from Home that didn't quite dissipate. It touched those who have been through Nexus, and I'm pretty sure it made them forget whatever they had been thinking about at that moment, either temporarily or permanently. It may have done something else, but I find that unlikely. It's all very troublesome..."_

_They could understand that. Nexus was the area that connected the worlds, and anyone traveling between them would go through it, though they may not realize it. It was also where the entrance to Home was._

_There was one more thing that needed to be brought up, though…_

_Naruto and Sasuke were suddenly facing eight shinobi and five kunoichi._

"_You've been caught." Gaara stated. He had heard Hiei telling Kurama, Kuwabara, and Yusuke his suspicions; "They're going to ask you about being shinobi tomorrow at breakfast."_

"_What possessed you to fight in Potions, anyway?" Temari demanded. Neither Naruto nor Sasuke looked regretful, but they didn't meet anyone's eyes._

_The rest of sleep passed silently._

* * *

There! It wasn't two chapters! Victory is sweet.

I will not be able to update on Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. I'll try on Saturday, though.

I still haven't seriously brought in Harry, Ron, or Hermione...

And I'm going to have to bring in Kyuubi and Shukaku, too...


	21. Plan: Check Naruto And Sasuke, Failure

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

The Reikai Tantei had a quick meeting in the hall before moving to the Great Hall. It was agreed that Hiei and Kuwabara would confront Sasuke and Naruto, respectively. Plan A was simple: talk to them in Japanese. If they were shinobi then they should know it.

If that didn't work out, then Plan B was to outright ask them. Kurama didn't think that this would work at all, but they didn't have the time to give it much thought, and it didn't help that they weren't used to giving plans any thought at all.

* * *

Food… lots and lots of tasty food…

_Let's see… they said that Sasuke and I would be confronted at breakfast…_

"It's good to see that you are no longer afraid of ghosts, Naruto." Lee (who was sitting beside him) said. Naruto was confused for a moment.

"Ghosts aren't real…" Lee looked surprised, and he looked at the white, transparent things floating around the Great Hall.

"But those are ghosts." He pointed out.

"Eh… heh heh…. Don't joke like that, Fuzzy-brows…" Naruto was starting to feel a little apprehensive.

"But I'm not joking."

_Ghosts aren't real… those must be illusions… like the ceiling__…__ There's Kuwabara-niisan! _He had started getting along better with Kuwabara recently.

"Hi, Kuwabara!" _I wonder why he looks so serious…?_

"Ohio, Naruto-kun." Kuwabara greeted shortly. Why was he suddenly talking in Japanese?

"What?"

Kuwabara looked confused. Had he forgotten how to speak English?

"Uh… have you heard of a thing called 'shinobi'?" _So he hasn't forgotten to speak English… wait… a _thing _called shinobi?_

"No…" maybe it was a food ingredient or something. Why else would he ask at breakfast?

* * *

Far away (kind of…) at the Slytherin table, Hiei was a little frustrated. Apparently Sasuke hadn't come for breakfast, and wasn't in the common room. Meaning that Hiei would have to wait.

But wait he would. He _would _find out whether or not Sasuke was a shinobi.

* * *

Sasuke knew of no better way to avoid people than to find somewhere secluded, sit, and brood. So that's what he did.

* * *

I'll be able to bring in Kyuubi and Shukaku the next time the shinobi and kunoichi sleep.

That was short T.T

I still haven't brought in Harry, Ron, and Hermione...

By the way, I won't update on Sundays.


	22. Mail

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"Mail's here!" Ron exclaimed, looking up at the horde of owls that had come flocking into the Great Hall. Harry followed his gaze, for a moment wishing that someone might send him something. The feeling was fleeting, though, as it was immediately replaced by an appreciation for the friends he was making.

"Hey, look, Neville's got a Remembral!" Someone remarked (A/N I suppose it must have been Seamus or Dean…). Neville was holding up a glass ball with white smoke swirling inside.

"I've read about those," Hermione was quick to interject, "when the smoke turns red, it means you've forgotten something."

"The only thing is, I can't remember what I've forgotten…" Neville said, watching as the smoke inside the glass turned a beautiful scarlet shade.

Harry turned toward a newspaper that Ron had received, lying discarded on the table, _The Daily Prophet_. With Ron's permission, Harry borrowed it.

"Hey, Ron, look at this. Someone tried to break into Gringotts." Harry said, and started reading quietly:

**GRINGOTTS BREAK-IN LATEST**

Investigations continue into the break-in at Gringotts on 31 July, widely believed to be the work of Dark wizards or witches unknown. Gringotts goblins today insisted that nothing had been taken. The vault that was searched, number 713, had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. "But we're not telling you what was in there, so keep your noses out if you know what's good for you," said a Gringotts spokesgoblin this afternoon.

"That's odd. That's the vault Hagrid and I went to." Harry remarked. Filing it away in his head, he turned back to _The Daily Prophet_, where a small passage had caught his eye, and again began reading quietly:

**RECLUSIVE RUMOR**

Rumors spread about The Boy Who Lived. In darker corners, however, another one can be found. It is said that fifteen ancient ninja have appeared, and that the ruler of Spirit World has made an agreement with Dumbledore to find them. "Utter nonsense," says Mescal Malfoy, " I will readily believe that those two are hardly sane, but chasing legends that don't even make sense? Even I don't think they've gone that far."

Harry noticed while he was reading that Neji had tensed, and relaxed after he had finished.

"Find some old people?" Fred asked, suddenly coming up behind Harry.

"Wonder why Dumbledore would do that?" George added, standing next to Fred. For some reason they were both looking at Neji, who narrowed his eyes at them, and adjusted the black headband that he always wore (A/N Headband, not forehead protector.).

Harry knew that he had missed something in the exchange, but couldn't guess what it was.

* * *

About the "Mescal Malfoy". I was going to do "Lucius", but he's too slimy to say something like that. So I picked a random first name, and attached it to Malfoy.

I've decided that, in order to increase the quality of the chapters, I'll do the first draft on Monday, alter it throughout the week, and update on Saturday.


	23. Flying Lesson

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Madam Hooch went through the schedules once more. No matter how many times she looked at it, she could only see one way to fit her flying lesson into the messed up tables: she would have to do all first-years together.

She knew she should have fit it in beforehand…

* * *

Koenma clutched _The Daily Prophet_ and screamed for Botan, who (unfortunately for her) was conveniently free at the moment. 

As soon as she came in, Koenma slammed the newspaper on the table, and jabbed a small section entitled 'Reclusive Rumor'. His unspoken angry question reached both Botan and George (George was in the room prior to Botan's entrance), who both said the same thing at the same time:

"I only told…" And both trailed off when they realized that this would _not_ appease Koenma.

* * *

Later that day…

* * *

Madam Hooch walked down the long aisle formed by the students. Harry noticed that this was the first class to have all the first-years together, but considering how strange this school was, he doubted that it was really significant. 

"Good morning, class." Madam Hooch greeted.

"Good morning, Madam Hooch." Came the unanimous reply.

"Today is your first flying lesson." Madam Hooch announced, "Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone step up to your broom. Good, now put your right hand over the broom and say 'up'." They obeyed.

Harry's broom came up on the first try, but his was one of the few that did. Though he noticed that Naruto had had no trouble, either. Hermione's broom rolled on the ground a little, and Ron's smacked him in the nose. After a while, though, everyone had his or her respective broom.

Madam Hooch then continued, "Now, when I blow this whistle, I want everyone to kick up from the ground, hard. Hover for a moment, lean forward, and touch back down. Ready? One… two…" Before she could blow the whistle, however, both Naruto and Neville started hovering. Neville was trying desperately to get back down. Naruto, on the other hand, looked ecstatic.

"Look, Sakura, I'm flying!" And with that he disappeared over some walls. The class then turned their attention to Neville, who had gotten caught on a statue, high above the ground. He didn't stay long, though, and after a few moments (and a second snag) he was lying on the ground, moaning pitifully. Madam Hooch was at the scene and crouching next to him remarkably fast, confirming a broken wrist and leading him toward the Hospital Wing in a matter of seconds.

She gave the class a single, firm warning before leaving, though: "I want everyone to keep their feet firmly on the ground while I take mister Longbottom to the Hospital Wing. If I see a single broom in the air, the one riding it will find themselves out of Hogwarts before they can say 'Quidditch'. And…" She continued, suddenly remembering something, "be sure to relay this to mister Uzumaki if he reappears."

No sooner were they out of earshot than Malfoy burst into laughter.

"Did you see his face, the great lump?"

The majority of the other Slytherins joined in.

"Shut up, Malfoy." Snapped Parvati Patil.

"Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?" Said Pansy Parkinson, a hard-faced Slytherin girl who often shot glances at Malfoy and Sasuke, as if trying to make up her mind, "never thought _you'd _like fat little crybabies, Parvati." Chouji stepped forward angrily, prepared to defend big-boned people, but Shikamaru held him back.

"Look!" Said Malfoy, darting forward and snatching something out of the grass. "It's that stupid thing Longbottom's gran sent him."

The Remembrall glittered in the sun as he held it up.

"Give it here, Malfoy." Harry said. The other students quieted to watch. Malfoy looked at Harry.

"No. I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find." Malfoy mounted his broom and soared upward, "how 'bout on the roof?"

He went a little farther away, "what's the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach?" He taunted. Harry mounted his broom, but Hermione grabbed his arm.

"Harry, _no_. You heard what Madam Hooch said. Besides, you don't even know how to fly!" She protested, but Harry shook her off, kicking up from the ground to go after Malfoy.

"What. An. Idiot." Hermione said, emphasizing each word. She glanced to the side and thought she felt grass brushing her jaw when she saw Kuwabara rising unsteadily. Were all boys stupid? Thankfully, she couldn't see anyone else acting quite so dense.

Blood rushing, Harry confronted Malfoy, "give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your broom!" Malfoy had looked surprised when Harry had followed him, but now he just grinned. Harry, now very angry, leaned forward, grasping the broomstick with both hands, and shooting toward Malfoy, who easily dodged.

"Have it your way, then." Malfoy said, about to throw the Remembrall. Unfortunately, when he turned away from Harry, he heard a somewhat disturbing yell coming from behind him, and closing in by the sound of it.

"Wahoo!" Naruto screamed, coming up behind Malfoy, his eyes closed against the rush of wind. The poor kid never knew what hit him (or rather, what he hit).

Malfoy's raised arm snapped back with the impact, and he didn't even have a chance to catch his breath before Kuwabara, who thought he was getting the hang of flying (and found himself sadly mistaken when he couldn't turn away from Malfoy) crashed into him from the front. Malfoy was vaguely aware of letting go of the Remembrall as his arm snapped forward again, then it all faded.

The impact from the front coming right after the impact from the back not only effectively knocked out Malfoy (as well as Naruto and Kuwabara), but sent the Remembrall sailing through the air at an incredible speed. Even though it was whirling so fast that the eye could hardly follow it, however, Harry saw it as if in slow motion. He leaned forward and pointed his broom handle down, completely forgetting the three unconscious students (who were descending, and accelerating). Next second he was gathering speed in a steep dive, racing the ball… wind whistled in his ears, mingled with the screams of people watching (though not all were screaming because of him, but he wasn't paying attention to them, anyway)… he stretched out his hand… a foot from the ground he caught it, just in time to pull his broom straight, and he toppled onto the grass with the Remebrall clutched safely in his fist.

Harry had a moment of glory amid much cheering before he was called away by McGonagall, who seemed somewhat less than pleased.

* * *

"This is going to be as troublesome as the three minutes it takes cup ramen to cook." Shikamaru said, looking at Naruto. 

Chouji glanced at him, surprised, but not altogether displeased, "I didn't know you were a fan of ramen, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru paled, just realizing what he had said, and the implications that came with it. Naruto's consciousness was spreading, because in the unconscious state, he couldn't hold it back (which was what they had to do in order to avoid constant synthesis). And now that he thought about it, Shikamaru realized that he _was_ feeling a little stupider.

"Sasuke!" Ino and Sakura called out at the same time. They seemed to be deliberately not looking at each other. They both stopped in their tracks, however, when they saw the look he gave them.

"You're as annoying as a lost Ichiraku coupon." Sasuke informed them. Sakura and Ino paled, screamed, and fainted, their minds unable to cope with his response. This, of course, clued the other shinobi and kunoichi in to Naruto's spreading conscience. Luckily, though, some of Sakura and Ino's new friends were already waking them up. Leaving only Naruto to get up, so that he could keep his thoughts and feelings to himself.

Sakura and Ino, now fully awake, shot Naruto some murderous looks.

Sasuke walked over to where Naruto, Kuwabara, and Malfoy were lying in a heap, and looked down at them. The other students quieted, a little apprehensive. Madam Hooch appeared, and Sasuke turned toward her.

Kurama's mind raced. Madam Hooch couldn't expel Kuwabara; only the headmaster had the authority to do that to exchange students. But Sasuke and Naruto were the only leads they had to the shinobi and kunoichi, and if they were expelled, not only would they lose two possible shinobi, but also the only current way of finding the rest. Technically, Sasuke hadn't flown, but he was standing in a very incriminating scene, and that might be enough for Madam Hooch.

Luckily, Yusuke was quick with excuses, be they honest or no (though he often didn't bother to use them). "they got into a fight!" He shouted.

Sasuke grinned, "I won." The other students didn't dare contend with that.

Madam Hooch raised an eyebrow at Kuwabara and Malfoy, but didn't dispute the claim.

* * *

Normally, a crash like that wouldn't knock out either Naruto or Kuwabara, but I had to get the whole conscience deal over with.  


Sakura and Ino got up pretty fast, but what can I say? They're anime characters, after all.  


Now this stuff is starting confuse me (though I'm trying to be careful not to confuse readers), what with 22 main protagonists (actually, I wonder if one could really call Sasuke a protagonist...), a few antagonists, and a mixture of the movie, the book, and my plotline, which keeps getting more and more complicated.

I'm getting a headache from thinking about it all.  



	24. Naruto's Trials

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

_He was sleeping… but… he hadn't been sleeping for long._

_He and the others had, ironically enough, gained an extraordinary sense of time in their unnatural lives, as if some sadistic being (A/N Me.) had wanted them to fully appreciate every moment they spent with each other, in Home…_

_That was how he knew… he hadn't been sleeping for long._

_He noticed he felt… stretched… startled, recognizing the sensation, he pulled back, drawing his emotions away from the fourteen connections._

"_That will not happen again." The feelings that he had just been so meticulously retrieving scattered to the nonexistent winds, though this time they didn't pour into the connections._

"_AH! Shino! Why are you here?" Naruto demanded, trying to sort his now-jumbled emotions._

"_It will not happen again." Shino reiterated._

"_What do you mean by that?" Naruto calmed down a little as his thoughts and feelings fell into place._

"_You've been unconscious for five hours. That will not happen again." So that was why he had only been sleeping for a little while, when he knew that far more time had passed since he was last awake._

"_It will…"_

"_Okay, okay! I get it already! But isn't it a bit early for you to be asleep?" Despite the hole in his memory where he had been unconscious, Naruto knew that lights-out wasn't for at least a few more hours._

"_I took a nap to insure that you understood that it won't happen again. The others will be here soon." Naruto hoped that they didn't take their time; otherwise he would be stuck here with only Shino for company for who-knew-how-long._

* * *

_As Naruto's luck would have it, it was an hour before the others started arriving. And, as his luck would have it, Sasuke came first. Thankfully, though, Sakura came soon after. The rest appeared almost simultaneously, and just when Naruto wondered if his day could get any worse, he noticed two areas in the empty space that seemed to be getting progressively darker._

_Great, what did _they_ want?_

_The dark blotches resolved into two gigantic figures. Though size was awfully hard to judge here. One of the figures was a brilliant fiery red hue, and the other was tan with a few blue-ish areas (in this kind of realm, colors stood out. Naruto's hair practically glowed)._

_Kyuubi and Shukaku…_

"_I'm tired of being cooped up!" Shukaku whined. He seemed to do nothing else whenever he bothered to make an appearance._

"_I am, as well." Kyuubi added. He often agreed with Shukaku, though in a far more serious, menacing manner._

_When the fifteen had first entered Home, it had practically destroyed and reassembled their entire biology and psyches, making them immortal, and creating synthesis. It was an extremely painful process that had permanently twisted Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara's seal functions. The result was that Neji had occasional headaches, sometimes Sasuke's neck started stinging for no apparent reason, and Kyuubi and Shukaku were dragged into the mess that was the shinobi and kunoichis' life. They could appear at will during sleep, they were dragged into the mix of personalities during synthesis, etc. etc._

_It had been quite a shock for everyone when Kyuubi and Shukaku had first appeared. Naruto and Gaara had recovered quickly, though it was a long time before the others got used to it. But get used to it they did, as they had all the time in the world to do so. Now no one was surprised when the bijuu appeared._

_Needless to say, neither Kyuubi nor Shukaku had been pleased at the prospect of being contained for eternity. And a setback for Shukaku (and the cause of much rejoicing on Gaara's part) was that he couldn't take over when Gaara was asleep (without consent, anyway)._

"_Well, you just set a record for 'Longest Period of No Complaint'." Kiba remarked._

"_When was the last time they said that?" Ino asked._

"_Thirty-seven years, ten months, three weeks, four days, and thirteen hours ago." Sasuke said._

"_You didn't have to go all the way to hours." Naruto mumbled. Kyuubi and Shukaku growled, not enjoying the distinct lack of attention (and, more importantly, respect). Shikamaru turned to them._

"_This time is no different than any of the others. You're not coming out." Kyuubi sighed, Shukaku grumbled, and they both disappeared. No matter how many times they tried, the response was always the same, but that didn't keep them from trying. There were a few occasions where they appeared for something other then expressing their want for freedom, but those times were rare._

_It was possible for them to come out, but it required the acquiescence of the fifteen, which, so far, they had never gotten._

* * *

Naruto walked down the hall with Sasuke, who had just dragged him out of the Hospital Wing. It was evening, and many students were heading toward their common rooms. It was about time for Naruto and Lee's daily training session, which they held in the Griffindor common room every night just before going to bed. They were very careful about not breaking anything, as the wrath of the others (particularly Sakura) was a fearsome thing. Though, if they did break something, only Neji would know… but he would tell the others, and then Sakura would be on them like a cat on a pair of plump mice that couldn't run fast enough. Not to mention the others…

"Hey, Naruto! Would you come with me for a moment?" Naruto looked down the connecting hallway that Kuwabara was hurrying from, surprised. That was in the direction of the common room…

"Sure… where?" Naruto asked. Before Kuwabara could answer, however, Sasuke cut in.

"I'm coming, as well." Kuwabara looked between the two of them, confused.

"He didn't ask you!" Naruto said angrily. Sasuke was about to retort, but then Hiei, who had come up behind them, interrupted.

"That's fine." _I couldn't find him because he was with that baka?_ Hiei wondered. How could those two be trying to kill each other one moment, and argue like that the next? It made no sense… Hiei shook off the thought, deciding to focus on the task at hand.

Sasuke was looking very suspicious, but didn't voice his discontent. Hiei walked past them, turning into the passage that Kuwabara had come from and looking back once to make sure that the other three were following. They were.

Hiei walked quickly, and the four of them soon met up with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were heading toward the Griffindor common room.

"It's scary! She knows more about you than you do!" Ron was saying to Harry.

"Who doesn't?" Harry asked.

"Hi! What are you talking about? " Naruto shouted, running ahead to join them on one of those obnoxious staircases.

"Harry's just become the new Griffindor seeker. His father was a Griffindor seeker, too!" Ron told him.

Hiei scowled as Kuwabara followed Naruto, and he and Sasuke quickened their pace to catch up. As soon as they got onto the staircase, however, it started moving, and they all had to grab a railing to keep from losing their balance.

"Let's go this way." Harry said as soon as the staircase stopped moving. He opened the door on the landing that they had just gained access to.

"Before the staircase moves again." Ron added.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Kuwabara said. Hiei ground his teeth; he had no problem with making Yusuke wait, but Kurama was another matter. The problem was, Kuwabara and Naruto were now following Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and Sasuke was following Naruto, so Hiei had no choice but to go along. They all entered the dark room.

Hiei noticed that Harry, Ron, and Hermione had apparently not noticed that two Slytherins had joined them. He hoped that things would remain that way at least until this mess was over with, and he and Kuwabara could get on with Kurama's plan. Otherwise this whole thing would just take longer.

"Do you get the feeling… we shouldn't be here?" Harry asked. _I've got no problem with _you_ being here. But I do have a problem with _us_ being here._ Hiei thought angrily.

"We're _not_ supposed to be here; this is the third-floor corridor!" Hermione said. Hiei looked around and cursed himself for not noticing. Now, if they were caught, there was no knowing when they would next be able to get Naruto and Sasuke together.

Unfortunately, when they turned to go back, the caretaker Filch's cat, Miss Norris, came in. They heard Filch's voice approaching, saying some grossly sweet things to his mangy cat.

Now, Hiei would have happily cut the grimy old humans' throat, but the rest of the troupe had different ideas, involving much running, fast running, and, hopefully, silent running.

Once again, Hiei followed. Soon the seven of them reached a door. Ron tried opening it, but it was locked. Hermione pushed him out of the way, pulling out her wand.

"_Alohomora!" _There was a clicking sound, and Hermione pushed the door open. The others followed her in.

"Alohomora?" Ron inquired. Before Hermione could reply, though, they heard a choked sound from Kuwabara, who was pointing at something.

They turned to look into the room. The three-headed, salivating dog that greeted them was certainly not expected, and they left the room almost immediately after entering it. Kuwabara and Naruto were able to get the door closed and locked despite the huge animal on the other side that had apparently seen the group as a pack of tasty morsels, and they heaved a collective sigh of relief. Though Hiei did so only because he could no longer see nor hear Filch. That was when Harry, Ron, and Hermione noticed the two Slytherins.

"You! But wait… you two…" Ron was looking, confused, between Naruto and Sasuke.

"I suppose now you're going to go tell Snape that we've been in the third-floor corridor." Harry said resentfully.

"Baka. That would mean admitting that we've been here, too." Hiei snapped. He turned and stalked away. Kuwabara looked after him, and followed, not sure what exactly he was supposed to do. Naruto looked between the two groups, and ultimately decided to follow Kuwabara. Sasuke immediately went with Naruto.

"That dog was huge! With three heads!" Naruto exclaimed as he walked away. Harry, Ron and Hermione listened as the voices started to fade.

"Idiot. I saw it." That was Sasuke.

"I know! I'm just saying…"

Many questions swirled in the heads of the three Griffindors as they made their way back to the Griffindor common room, following the other four for a little while, but eventually turning into a different corridor. One thought stood out from the rest, though:

… _I don't understand those two._

* * *

Hiei walked quickly, making sure that none of the three following had a chance to get ahead. Time was running out until they all had to be in their common rooms and in bed. He found Kurama and Yusuke in an empty classroom, and as soon as they entered, Kurama commenced:

"You're shinobi." It was anything but a question.

"So?" Naruto asked. He had missed a training session with Lee… for a glimpse of a three-headed dog and a stupid comment? He was reminded of the significance of that comment when Sasuke punched him in the stomach. Hard.

Kurama was surprised. He had wanted to get Naruto and Sasuke alone not just because it seemed so probable that they were shinobi, but also because neither of them seemed the type to decide to hide the fact on their own. Meaning that there were outside forces, possibly the other shinobi, and getting Naruto and Sasuke alone would (hopefully) remove any such complications. He hadn't expected this to be quite so easy, though.

Kurama recovered quickly, "there are thirteen others, right? Could you tell us who they are?"

Sasuke answered before Naruto could catch his breath, "No." He grabbed Naruto's collar and dragged him out of the room, saying one last thing before leaving:

"It's late. Go to bed." Hiei's expression had become neutral. Kuwabara looked dazed. Yusuke looked triumphant until Sasuke added the last part, then he was immediately offended.

Kurama felt ecstatic as he quickly made his way to the Ravenclaw common room. They had uncovered two shinobi.

* * *

Neji met Sasuke and Naruto in a hall. He raised an eyebrow at the hand gripping Naruto's collar, and then at Sasuke's angry expression (well, Sasuke is always angry, but that's passive aggressive. This is open hostility).

"I started looking for Naruto when he didn't show up for his daily training with Lee. I take it something happened?" Neji asked.

"Sleep." Sasuke said out of grinding teeth. Neji nodded, and Sasuke let go of Naruto and walked away toward the Slytherin common room. Neji and Naruto went the other way to the Griffindor common room. Naruto mumbling something the whole way about "stupid rival".

"What are they thinking? Keeping something like that locked up in a school!" Ron demanded of no one in particular.

"It was there for a reason. Didn't you see its paw? It was on a trap door." Hermione said.

"I wasn't looking at its feet, I was a bit more concerned with its heads! Or didn't you notice? There were three of them!" Ron replied.

"It's guarding something. Now, I'm going to bed, before either of you come up with another plan to get us killed. Or worse, expelled." Hermione strode toward the girls' dormitory.

"She needs to sort out her priorities." Ron remarked. Harry nodded.

"I saw no flaw in her logic." Came a voice from behind them. They turned around to see Lee, who was looking very determined for no reason that they knew of.

"It seems that Naruto has skipped out today. Or perhaps he became otherwise occupied. Perhaps he is fighting Sasuke…" Harry and Ron looked at each other, a little apprehensive. They were relieved when the portrait opened to admit Neji and Naruto. Naruto was mumbling something that sounded like "jerk, dragging me around like that… I'll show him…"

"It's past time to be asleep." Neji said. Lee was slightly deflated, as he hadn't gotten to fight Naruto yet, but he perked up immediately for a some reason, and strode purposefully into the boys' dormitory. Neji, Naruto, Harry, and Ron followed.

* * *

"_You WHAT?!" Ino screamed._

"_Hey, he caught me off-guard. Besides, I was getting tired of hiding anyway." Naruto tried to appease the angry kunoichi, but his excuse only made her madder._

"_You exposed SASUKE-KUN!!" Sakura joined in._

"_Sakura-chan…"_

"_We can work this to our advantage." Shikamaru cut in, "it was only a matter of time before Naruto and Sasuke were found, anyway. Now the rest of us don't have to cover up for them anymore, which was really troublesome, and we can avoid drawing unwanted attention to ourselves. Not only that, but Naruto and Sasuke should now be able to find out the disposition of the Tantei. Whether they're friends or enemies, and hopefully their reason for looking for us." Naruto nodded wisely, not taking in a word of what Shikamaru was saying, but coming to the conclusion that he was arguing for Naruto's cause._

_The rest of the shinobi and kunoichi understood._

* * *

Those suffixes are starting to mix me up, since I'm not sure when to use them and when to drop them.

I thought about putting Naruto, and a few others, on Quidditch teams, but there are a few problems with that. Namely, the only exception to the whole first-year deal was Harry. Plot rule dictates that that must remain the same if for no other reason then to draw attention to Harry. Plus, Harry caught the Remembrall, sealing his fate as a seeker. Naruto helped send the Remembrall flying, but that really wouldn't help him on the road to becoming a Quidditch player.

I would have liked to make Naruto and Sasuke beaters, but I bend (not break), plot rules. Breaking plot rules seems to tend to decrease the general quality of this kind of thing (in my opinion, anyway. Some may disagree). Unless it becomes necessary to break one plot rule in order make room for another that suits your purpose. I consider that a last resort, though, and in this case, it wouldn't be central enough to the plot to put extra first-years on Quidditch teams.


	25. Discussion, Evil Feather

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"_You know, it's been a while since we practiced. Maybe we could do so this weekend?" Tenten suggested._

"_We could do it in the Forbidden Forest." Kiba added. Akamaru barked, excited._

"_I just went there this morning. The centaurs have finished eating the ramen in the bowl, and they scrubbed it clean. That would a good place if we turned the bowl over." Kankuro said._

"_I could probably do that if I had a little help." Sakura offered._

"_Already finished it? How many centaurs _are_ there?" Ino wondered._

"_I'm surprised they didn't finish it earlier." Chouji remarked._

_"Why would we turn it over?" Naruto asked._

"_To keep the sound from carrying all the way to the castle, idiot." Sasuke replied._

"_If you two would play at a normal volume for once, that wouldn't be so troublesome." Shikamaru pointed out. But Naruto and Sasuke weren't paying attention to him; they were too focused on each other, narrowed eyes and everything._

_Looking away from the two glaring shinobi, Shikamaru continued, "anyway, Chouji and Sakura should be able to turn the bowl over if they do it together. It would probably be best not to cut a door into the bowl after it's turned over, because the sound could still carry to Hagrid, and it would be troublesome if he came to investigate. We could just dig a tunnel leading into it, then put a trap door at the entrance, and cover it with sand." Gaara nodded, understanding his role._

"_We would have to get light sources." Temari pointed out._

"_Naruto, Lee, Temari, Kiba, and I can get lights, but then we'll have to wait for them to arrive." Shikamaru said. The shinobi (plus one kunoichi) that he had just listed were in charge of keeping up with Ningenkai affairs, and they had plenty of sources that they could use for obtaining lights. The installation thereof would be the hard part._

_"We'll need time to get the summoning scrolls ready, anyway." Neji added._

_"Um… we'll probably need our free time to get the bowl ready, and then the lights." Hinata said timidly._

_"A valid point. And we may want to put a cover over the dirt. There are several options for that, but the least troublesome would probably just be hardened sand." Shikamaru finished._

"_Next weekend, then." Shino said._

"_Agreed." Came the unanimous reply. Almost. Naruto and Sasuke didn't reply at all, they were still absorbed in the deep irritated pools of each other's eyes._

"_Let us make our goal three days from now!" Lee said. The looks he got in return discouraged that particular idea._

* * *

Naruto yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. After they had agreed on the time that they would practice, a few shinobi and kunoichi had gone into a boring discussion that involved all sorts of boring details. Shikamaru had done most of the talking. 

"Remember the nice wrist movement we've been practicing. The swish and flick." The tiny bearded Professor Flitwick demonstrated, but Naruto wasn't paying attention. Why couldn't they move the date earlier, like fuzzy-eyebrows suggested? It had been too long since Naruto had last gone full out against Sasuke… though, when that happened, the others took away both Naruto and Sasuke's amplifiers for two years…

"Oh, look everyone, miss Granger's done it! Well done!" Naruto looked over at Hermione, who was effortlessly levitating her feather. He looked at his own, and looked at his wand…

* * *

"_The wood for this particular wand is believed taken from the remains of an ancient city of ninja. The inside ingredient is, as well. Though it has been carefully preserved." The old shop owner, Ollivander, said. The wand felt familiar… like an Ichiraku chopstick…_

"_What's the inside ingredient?" Naruto asked._

"_Some say it was a snake that went extinct millions of years ago. Others say it was a special type of rope, designed by the ninja. A few even say…" he trailed off. Naruto leaned forward._

"_What do they say?" Naruto asked eagerly._

"_A few even say… that it was a noodle." Naruto looked at the wand that felt like a chopstick… on a hunch, he sniffed the tip. No smell greeted his nose, but rather a sudden, overwhelming homesickness. He wanted to see Kakashi again… and Iruka, Gai, the Ichiraku, even Jiraiya and Tsunade. Konoha…_

_Then he felt… a taint. Home, that had destroyed his life, and that of two bijuu, fourteen ninja, and their _dog.

"_I'll take good care of it." Naruto promised him, "Until the day I die."_

_(Uzumaki Naruto – Ichiraku Chopstick, Ramen Noodle, 13 in.)_

* * *

An explosion blasted him out of his reverie. He looked over to the scene of the crime, and watched a blackened feather drift downward. "I think we're going to need another feather over here." He heard Harry remark quietly. Naruto turned back toward his own target, sitting rebelliously on the table. It seemed to be mocking him… like Sasuke… 

"Winged guardian levitating ramen!" Naruto said with a bit of unnecessary vehemence, attempting to do the swish and flick (though it was more of a swish and jab). He wondered why it was "levitating ramen" when they were levitating feathers, but decided not to ask. He wondered if he should have asked about it when his feather soared into the air, and dive-bombed toward his head. A moment later he was dueling the feather with his wand, trying to keep it away from his face.

Lee did a perfect swish and flick, but he messed up the pronunciation a little, and the feather floated for a few seconds before dropping to the table and dissolving.

Neji had no problem with the spell, but allowed the feather to drop after he had raised it a few inches. He sighed, and settled down to wait for the class to end.

Professor Flitwick rubbed his eyes. Just when he thought that this year might be less painful than all the rest…

… He was definitely getting too old for this.

Naruto slammed the door behind him as he slid into the hall to get away from his homicidal feather. He jumped back toward the wall to make his last stand.

The feather punched through the door, and Naruto wondered for a fraction of a second how it could get through the wood. He braced himself as the feather flew toward him once again, but it stopped cold after traveling all of two inches. Naruto watched it start to float toward the ground, and turned to the side to find Sasuke, with his wand drawn, and pointing it toward where the feather had been a moment ago. Curiously enough, Malfoy was with him, though he looked like he would rather be anywhere else about now.

"Sasuke! Kill your own feather!" Naruto raged. Sasuke looked at him coolly.

"You were losing."

"Shut up!"

They were prevented from taking it further through the intervention of professor Flitwick, who had just used a spell to bring Naruto and Sasuke's wands to him. He considered taking points from their houses, but seeing the looks they were giving him, he figured he was pushing his luck as it was.

It may have been different if he hadn't been one of the few informed of the whole ninja deal, but that wasn't the case.


	26. Troll in the Dungeon, Not

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement:

"Recently, an ancient library was uncovered, in which we discovered some recipes. Tonight one of them will be served. We hope you enjoy it." He sat down.

The food appeared, and four (nin) students were startled. Sitting there, on the tables, was a bubbling black concoction. A concoction that they had never forgotten though they had had ample time to do so.

"This is…" Neji said quietly, trailing off.

"The Curry of Life! Ita–" Lee never got to finish that sentence, as Neji immediately stabbed a tenketsu in his side. Lee made a slight "oof" sound and looked reproachfully at him, but immediately turned back to his lethal meal, grabbing a spoon and digging in.

"Wow." Fred remarked, looking at Neji.

"Never thought someone could look quite so…" George trailed off.

"Disgusted?" Fred suggested.

"Is that… nostalgia, maybe?" George wondered.

"Deadpan…"

"Annoyed…"

"Mad…" They stopped there, noticing that he was looking at them. They quickly turned away from their scrutiny of Neji's expression, wondering if they should try this new dish… there was Neji, Lee, and Naruto to judge from, for deciding whether or not to have some. Neji seemed to be revolted, but Naruto was going for it, and Lee was already onto fourths. But then, among those three, Neji was by far the most sensible.

Ah, what the heck…

* * *

Dumbledore looked up when he heard an abnormal amount of panting, puffing, and gulping. He pulled a piece of paper out of one of his pockets and started taking notes. This recipe was apparently not a sensation, but there were still a few more. They would be served on other nights, after it was made certain that they were cooked perfectly.

* * *

Sasuke looked at his plate of curry. He hadn't eaten any, after seeing some of the reactions. He looked over at where Malfoy was chugging his water. Hiei seemed to have an opposite reaction, and was rivaling Lee in servings, but that really wasn't reassuring.

Sasuke absently poked at the black muck, watching as it swirled a little…

* * *

"_Just give it a wave." Sasuke scowled at the old man._

_He hesitated. _Old man?_ He was probably over a thousand years younger than Sasuke. Because of Home… Sasuke flicked the wand, irritated. The desk he was standing at crumbled, darkening and turning into a fine black powder._

"_I don't think so." Sasuke allowed Ollivander to take the wand. While waiting for the next wand, his thoughts wandered. Home… was why he was immortal, and it had also taken away any chance of killing Itachi._

_When the fifteen had come out of Home for the first time, all the hidden villages were either gone or changed so as to be nearly unrecognizable. When they had learned how much time had already passed, they could also come to the conclusion that everyone that they had known had had plenty of time to die of old age. Though, after that, it was as if they had set Home in time, so the same amount of time they spent inside of it passed outside of it, as well._

_The next wand he flicked caused a slight dark mist to settle in the room._

"_No, that's not right, either."_

_Home had taken away any chance he had to kill Itachi. Every one._

"_I think… perhaps…" Ollivander handed him a gray wand. It seemed to fit into his hand perfectly, as well as share his depression and anger. Like it understood him…_

_Sasuke smiled darkly as he flicked the wand, and a black fog filled the room. It was nothing like the dark mist, which simply hung in the air. This seemed to blanket everything, choking anything that breathed. It gave him a sense of deep satisfaction, a sinister satisfaction. Sasuke's smile widened, and his eyes flashed red for a fraction of a second, with only the wand as a witness._

_Sasuke calmed the restless energy that had been growing inside him, and the fog lifted. Ollivander gasped for breath, not liking what the outcome was going to be._

"_It would appear that you are the right wielder for that wand."_

_(Uchiha Sasuke – Weeping Willow, Basilisk Skin, 13 in.)_

* * *

"Sasuke?" Malfoy asked, waving a hand in front of his face. Sasuke resisted the urge to use some excessive violence. He had become good at that with time that he would have rather spent doing something else.

"What?" Sasuke snapped. Malfoy looked taken aback.

"Never mind." Malfoy wanted to know why he had just been staring into space with that… peculiar look, but now that he thought about it, that didn't seem like such a good idea. Hiei, on the other hand, did not have the qualms that Malfoy had.

"Feeling under the weather, shinobi?" Hiei inquired, not quite sneering. He was always addressing Sasuke as 'shinobi' now, which was actually an improvement, since Hiei showed more respect to him than normal students. He also showed more respect to Naruto, but if it was on a scale of one to ten, and 'student' was at 1, then 'Naruto' was probably at 1.001.

Sasuke hesitated to answer, and was immediately suspicious as to why. He glanced at the Hufflepuff table, and saw the answer in the form of a comatose Hinata, who had apparently eaten some curry. Not the brightest idea. Tenten was telling some other students something that Sasuke couldn't hear, but could guess fairly easily. She picked up Hinata, with some help from Ino, and transported her out of the Great Hall.

Sasuke turned back toward Hiei, who was still waiting for an answer. "I'm fine." He said, though he knew that he wasn't, and wouldn't be until Hinata had regained consciousness. He was already feeling a little… attentive, to Naruto.

* * *

Kurama sat cross-legged on his chair with his arms folded. Something was nagging at him from the back of his head. Something about Naruto, Sasuke, and the mission… something…

He tried to ignore the girls looking in his direction. Recently the majority of the female population of Hogwarts had split into two equal factions: the ones that were obsessed with Kurama, and the ones that were obsessed with Sasuke. The number of girls that had stayed out of the whole thing was depressingly low.

That's right… girl…

Kurama snapped his fingers. Of course! Back at the station, Naruto and Sasuke had been with a girl… Sakura was her name. Would that make her…? But, he had no way of identifying shinobi, or, in this case, kunoichi. He had only found out Naruto and Sasuke because they really didn't seem to be trying to hide. Luckily, she was in his House, so it couldn't be that hard to find out, right?

The doors flew open. "Troll in the dungeon!" Professor Quirrell shouted, running in, "troll in the dungeon!"

"Thought you ought to know." He said. His eyes rolled back and he fainted.

The Great Hall fell into chaos, but was quickly quieted by Dumbledore, who told the prefects to lead the students to the common rooms, and the teachers to follow him to the dungeons.

Naruto and Sasuke fell into step with the other students, somehow ending up next to each other. Harry and Ron, who were just ahead, stopped abruptly, and Naruto and Sasuke nearly bumped into them.

"What?" Ron asked Harry, who had apparently grabbed his shoulder.

"Hermione, she doesn't know!" Harry said urgently. They walked quickly away. Naruto hurriedly followed them, and Sasuke decided to follow him.

"And what's this about?" Sasuke hissed at Naruto.

"Well… they were talking about Hermione being somewhere else during dinner. The girls' bathroom, I think." Naruto answered uncertainly.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?" Ron demanded, looking back. Harry looked back, as well.

"We're coming with you!" Naruto answered.

"There's strength in numbers." Sasuke quoted from some English book that he couldn't remember. He was pretty sure it was a common phrase…

Ron stopped, and the other three stopped with him, "we're just going to tell Hermione about the troll. Why would we need strength, particularly _yours_?" He aimed the last part at Sasuke. Before Sasuke could retort, however, Harry grabbed Ron and Naruto's shoulders and pulled them sharply to the left wall. Sasuke immediately went to the right, feeling what had alarmed Harry.

"Maybe because of _that._" Harry said quietly as they heard loud footsteps echo through the hall.

"… Okay, I catch your drift." Ron said, gulping as he watched the troll pass through a parallel corridor.

Harry put a hand on his scar, which had suddenly started stinging a little, and Sasuke did the same thing to his seal. There was something about that troll…

He watched as it bent down, scrutinizing the thing closely. The neck… Sasuke activated his sharingan, completely disregarding the rules set down by the fifteen. He squinted. There they were, three black marks, right between the shoulder and the neck. Sasuke's mind raced. How? How was that possible?

Naruto looked at Sasuke, feeling confusion powerful enough to reach across their bond. He tried to shake it off, the result being that he got a little dizzy from shaking his head so much. By this time Harry and Ron were looking at them, baffled by this strange behavior.

They heard a door creak open, and Harry looked back at the troll. "It's going into the girls' bathroom!" He exclaimed. Naruto and Sasuke were able to ignore their confusion for a moment to look, and they glanced at each other. Harry and Ron got up to follow, but Sasuke grabbed Naruto with one hand, the other still clutching his seal.

"What?" Naruto demanded.

"That troll has a cursed seal." Sasuke whispered urgently.

"What? But that's impossible!"

"It's there." Naruto glanced quickly at the retreating figures of Harry and Ron. Sasuke understood, and they hurried to catch up.

They entered the room to find Harry and Ron throwing debris at the repulsive troll. Naruto and Sasuke each pulled a kunai out of their pouches (there was the rule to not use ninja equipment, but everyone brought a pouch of it, anyway. Though only a few carried theirs around). Naruto wanted to jump in, but Sasuke grabbed his arm again and held him back.

"What now?" Naruto was getting tired of the interruptions.

"If they need our help, we'll give it to them. But if the seal activates, we'll need to surprise it, and keep it from reacting quickly." Sasuke responded. He let go of Naruto's arm and ran up a wall. Naruto glanced at the troll, and for some reason he couldn't fathom; he knew that Sasuke was right.

"Hey, pea-brain!" Ron shouted. The filthy troll turned around as a rock hit its chunky head, and Hermione crawled away. The incarnation of 'disgusting' turned back around and attacked her. Harry ran up to Its Royal Grossness while it was bending down and wrapped his arms around its lumpy neck, feeling himself rise into the air as it stood back up. The decaying thing tried to shake him off, and eventually he slipped (losing his wand as it got stuck in the trolls nose) and it grabbed him.

"Do something!" Harry shouted at Ron.

"What?" Ron asked.

"Anything!" Ron pulled out his wand.

"Swish and flick!" Hermione told him.

"Hurry!" Harry said.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Ron shouted. The club that the troll had been holding slipped out of its hand, floating for a moment, and fell, hitting it directly on its hideous head.

A few times throughout the fight, Naruto almost jumped off the wall, but each time Sasuke held him back, grasping his shoulder.

Harry fell, and scooted as fast as he could away from the putrid troll as it stumbled. The horrible thing fell to its knees, and started to fall forward, but just before hitting the ground, it put its hands down to break the fall. It stood back up slowly, and everyone but Sasuke gasped. One half of its face had diamond-shaped black marks. It used one gruesome hand to pull Harry's wand out of its nose, dropping it on the floor, and the other to pick up its club.

"Get away!" Naruto shouted. Naruto jumped between Harry, Ron, and the troll, and Sasuke jumped between Hermione and the troll. Naruto drew his wand, and made a sign with his hands.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!" He shouted. He heard a loud chirp-like sound coming from the other side of the monster, which by this point was at the peak of its confusion. They had to get this done fast, before the unsightly beast could recover. The other Naruto raised his wand and started rapidly stabbing the air around the original Naruto's palm with it.

"Naruto Uzumaki Techniques: Swish and Flick Remix!" Naruto shouted. The chirping sound reached a climax.

"Rasengan!" Naruto finished.

"Chidori!" Sasuke yelled from the other side of the monstrous hollow-head. They charged at it. The smelly troll jumped, something that it probably couldn't do before. Neither Naruto nor Sasuke were really surprised, though, and they skidded to a stop right under it and raised their hands. The vile troll, enhanced though it was, was still stupid and fat, and couldn't avoid the two deadly jutsu. The kinetic energy shooting through its warty body shook the ugly thing violently, very violently. Naruto and Sasuke moved in unison, and threw the troll aside, away from the three they were protecting.

"… Wicked." Ron said in awe.

"What exactly… happened?" Harry wondered.

"You're shinobi, aren't you?" Hermione asked.

"Everyone's asking that these days." Naruto said. Sasuke spun around, using the momentum to put a little more power into his punch, and sending Naruto to join a certain brute in the wall.

"Shinobi? What's that?" Ron asked, confused.

"Didn't you notice? Those weren't spells." Hermione said, as if it were obvious.

"Yeah, but what's a shinobi?" Harry asked.

"Ninja is another word for it. But they were supposed to have become obsolete, who would have thought that there were still some existing?" Hermione speculated.

"Naruto, I'm going to bed." Sasuke said over his shoulder at the smaller hole in the wall. Harry glanced at them and the troll, and went to pick up his wand.

"Good for you! _I'm_ going to make sure this thing doesn't wake up!" Came the reply from the destroyed architecture.

Sasuke's eye twitched, "go ahead, and sleep with the troll."

"… Wait for me, jerk!"

Sasuke took all of one step when McGonagall, Snape, and Quirrell entered the scene, starting with McGonagall, who gasped at the gigantic lump sticking in the side of the room.

"Explain yourselves!" McGonagall demanded.

"Well…" Harry stuttered.

"What it is…" Ron tried to say. Hermione interrupted them.

"It's _my_ fault, professor McGonagall." She said.

"Miss Granger?" McGonagall inquired.

"I went looking for the troll. I've read about them, and thought I could handle it. I was wrong. If they hadn't found me, I'd probably be dead."

"Well, I'll just say that that was an extremely foolish thing to do. I'm very disappointed in you. Five points will be taken from Griffindor, for your serious lack of judgment. And as for you three–"

"Hey! What about me?!" Naruto crawled out of his hole, and McGonagall looked at him, startled.

"… Four. Not many first-year students could take on a fully-grown mountain troll, and live to tell the tale. Five points will be awarded to each of you, for sheer dumb luck." She left the room, and Snape followed. Quirrell beckoned the five toward the entry.

"I-I'll stay here. It m-might wake up." He told them.

* * *

Sasuke lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling the others fall asleep, one by one.

_Why would a troll have a cursed seal? Even ignoring the 10-percent chance of survival, it seems so pointless to put something like that on a thing so stupid! It makes it slightly more powerful, but what difference does it make? It was beaten into the wall with a single attack… two jutsu, but one attack._

_Even if that means that Orochimaru has survived this long, why would he waste his time on a troll? Have people become so weak that he would prefer a troll to them? Or has someone else learned how to put a cursed seal on something?_

Sasuke closed his eyes, concentrating on moving his consciousness to another realm.

* * *

_"The troll had a cursed seal?" Ino asked incredulously._

_"Yeah! It looked just like Sasuke!" Naruto replied excitedly._

_"Don't compare something like that to Sasuke!" Sakura said angrily, wishing that she could hit him._

_"You realize what this means?" Kiba asked apprehensively._

_"It means that Orochimaru is possibly here." Sasuke stated. Shikamaru looked at him meaningfully. Sasuke looked away from him._

_"Sasuke…" Shikamaru began._

_"I'm not going to look for him."_

_"Good. It would be very troublesome if you did." Shikamaru said, satisfied, "by the way, the lights will arrive in a day or two. How are the preparations?"_

_"Chouji and I got the bowl turned over." Sakura reported._

_"Akamaru and I made the tunnel." Kiba added._

_"Gaara used the sand from the bridge to make a smooth floor." Kankuro put in._

_"That just leaves the summoning scrolls, and installing the lights." Shikamaru said._

_"We're not going to be able to install the lights normally. We'll probably need to use chakra to get them to work." Temari said._

_"Most of the summoning scrolls are ready. We're saving Naruto and Sasuke's for last." Neji said. Naruto looked at him reproachfully, and Neji looked away from him._

_"Hinata had better wake up soon." Tenten muttered._

* * *

There are a few complications with the crushes. Actually, there are a lot of complications for everything, and I'm still working out the details. I'll try to explain that particular part as soon as I can.


	27. Quidditch, 'Practice'

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

_ Darkness… she was sleeping…_

_ Stretched… she concentrated, and drew away her emotions as rapidly as she possibly could. Away from the fourteen connections… well, technically, there were fifteen connections, if you counted the– that one. Small wasn't the word for it, because size had nothing to do with it… it just seemed less… significant? Perhaps that was the word for it…_

_ Hinata dropped her line of thought on Akamaru's connection when she noticed that a few others were entering sleep. Shikamaru…Kiba… and Shino._

_ "Hinata… do you think you could be a little more careful in the future?" Kiba asked, rubbing his eyes. Hinata looked down. Of course… she had been unconscious. That would explain why she hadn't had control of her feelings a minute ago, and why she was now sleeping, when her senses told her that it was about time to be going to breakfast._

_ Shino remained silently disapproving._

_ "We should be getting up now." Shikamaru said. Hinata nodded. She watched as the three disappeared, one by one._

_ Though…_

_ Back at Home, there were few times when all fifteen were awake at the same time. There had been no set routine, and no meaning to the days, weeks, months, or even years that passed endlessly._

_ Eventually they had learned that they could control their age appearance, although their mental maturity did not progress (only a few had noticed the latter). They became almost completely indifferent to anything and everything when they were in Home, like emotions put in cold storage, and the only times when they could really feel… just _feel_…were when they were out on trips. Whether a few to go shopping, or all to go on a peculiar kind of vacation, those were the only times when they could feel._

_ And be truly alive._

_ Hinata shook off the depressing thoughts, and concentrated on waking._

* * *

Neji sighed in profound relief, as he felt some rather disturbing emotions flee from his conscience. Finally, Hinata was awake… 

"Having a good day, mate?" Fred asked. Neji ground his teeth; he had deliberately picked this spot to sit because it was as far away from the twins as he could possibly get and still be sitting at the table.

"Yes. Until now." Neji replied.

"Ah, too bad." George said. Neji, despite his attempt to remain neutral, started letting off some murderous intent, and though Fred and George couldn't consciously recognize it, they were able to tell that it was about time to withdraw.

"Good luck today, Potter." Neji looked over to where Snape was greeting Harry, "then again, now that you've proven yourself against a troll, a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you. Even if it is against Slytherin." Snape limped away, and Neji saw Harry's look turn sour.

"Snake, you're bleeding!" Neji heard Naruto exclaim. Snape stopped cold in his tracks, and Neji's grip on his fork tightened… Naruto had pronounced the "l" as a Japanese "r", and several students were looking at him weirdly. Lee looked confused for a moment, but then understood, and Kuwabara hadn't even noticed.

Neji dropped his self-control for a moment, and hit Naruto over the head, causing Naruto's face to mash into his breakfast. Snape (who had just been considering taking points from Griffindor) only stood there for a moment, and left.

Lee looked up as he heard a screech, and watched as an owl flew through the window carrying a long package. It dropped it in front of Harry, who just looked at it. "Bit early for mail, isn't it?" Hermione asked, confused.

"But I... I never get mail." Harry said.

"Let's open it." Ron said eagerly. Lee watched as they pulled the paper off.

"It's a broomstick…" Harry said.

"That's not just a broomstick, Harry; it's a Nimbus 2000!" Ron exclaimed.

"But who...?" Harry wondered, then looked toward the Professors' table, where Hedwig was perched on McGonagall's books.

* * *

Sasuke leaned on the railing, watching as the two Quidditch teams flew out. 

It didn't take long for him to notice some cheering that was rising to a volume just high enough to be heard above the crowds. Sasuke looked toward a Griffindor area… sure enough; there were Lee and Naruto. Then in Ravenclaw there was Sakura, and Ino from Hufflepuff.

He noticed that most of the other first-year Slytherins were giving him plenty of space. Were they still remembering that fight in Potions?

Not that he cared.

Though, he actually got along quite well with Hiei. They had noticed that there were many things that they had in common, foremost among them being antisocialism. Though there was also the lack of family members, and their rivals (who, curiously enough, were both in Griffindor… if you could call Kuwabara a rival). And some things that Sasuke noticed that Hiei hadn't were that they both had red eyes, their speed, and they both had swords. And… they were both a little… fiery.

Thus they found empathy through mutual apathy. Kind of (sort of...) like that time so long ago, when Naruto and Sasuke were both in the Academy…

Sasuke slumped a little. Konoha would always seem more like home than Home. Sometimes he wondered why he had left. He had gained a little more power, yes, but in the end he hadn't killed Itachi.

Itachi… somehow this was his fault.

* * *

"Naruto!" Lee exclaimed. Naruto paused in his cheering to listen. Lee pointed toward a few members of the Slytherin team. 

"What, fuzzy-eyebrows?" Naruto squinted at the players.

"They're cheating." Neji remarked. Naruto became a little angry. Wait… Sasuke was in Slytherin…

Somehow, this was his fault…

* * *

Sakura and Ino, though far away from each other, had similar feelings when they heard Naruto's cheering for Griffindor turn into yelling at Slytherin. Sasuke was in Slytherin… they both looked challengingly at each other…

* * *

_Sakura and Ino huffed as they both tried to push past the other through the small doorway. They both got in at the same time."Score!" They both yelled, at which point they glared at each other and started arguing about who got in first. Ollivander looked between the two girls. He could only do one at a time…_

"_Let's start with you." He said. Sakura and Ino looked at him._

"_The pink-haired one." Ino immediately tried to retort, but Sakura cut her off._

"_Oh, good! Let's get started!" She said._

"_Hey!" Ino said angrily._

"_Does she have to stay?" Sakura asked, smiling._

"_There's no problem with it. Though there is also no problem with you stepping outside when it's her turn." Ollivander reprimanded. Sakura stopped smiling._

"_Arguing and fighting with each other will, perhaps, help you learn some things. But so far as my experience goes, it always ends in regret." Ollivander quickly took Sakura's measurements, though she was a bit confused when he asked which her wand arm was. Eventually she just said it was her right one, and Ollivander went to look for a good wand. Meanwhile Sakura and Ino thought about what Ollivander had said, and immediately thought about Naruto and Sasuke. Their fights _did_ seem to always end in resentment from both sides…_

_ Ollivander smiled as he looked through the wand cases. It looked like this might be one of the first easy ones today…_

_ He was sadly mistaken; Sakura blew up a leg on his brand new table that he had had for all of five minutes (since Sasuke had disintegrated his last one), put _two_ holes in his wall, and one hole in one of his windows before he finally found a wand that accepted her. It created a rain of pink petals when she flicked it, which fell to the floor in the shape of a certain fan…_

_(Haruno Sakura – Cherry Tree, Cherry Blossom, 13 in.)_

_ Ino wasn't easy either. She blew up the remaining three legs on his poor abused table, destroyed a shelf of wands, and drilled a oval-shaped hole in his floor before he found a wand for her. He sighed in relief as shimmering image of a boar appeared in the air, collapsing to the floor in what looked like a shimmering powder. Ino started to lower the wand, and the powder stirred, rising into the air in the same shape that Sakura's petals had been in before dispersing completely._

_ Ollivander stared at the holes in his shop. He could remember only a few times when business had been this bad. Normally he could guess the right wand on the first try, and when that failed, the second try didn't. It was extremely rare for _this_ kind of thing to happen. First Harry, then that Naruto boy, who had put five holes in his ceiling, and then that Sasuke kid, who seemed somewhat…dangerous, to put it mildly._

_ "Um, sir?" Sakura asked uncertainly._

_ "Yes?"_

_ "Well, you said that my wand had a cherry blossom in it, right?"_

_ "Yes…"_

_ "Well… how would that…?" Sakura trailed off._

_ "How would that give it its power?" Ino asked._

_ "Well, there are many things that you can put in a wand to give it power, and there are things that we call 'Standard Ingredients' for that, things like Unicorn Hair or Phoenix Feathers. They are not called Standard Ingredients because they're common, of course. Nothing that is used to power a wand is common, but occasionally someone will find something truly unique, which will give off a magical aura. Items such as these are often put in wands, but those wands tend to be particularly choosy about who can wield them and who can't."_

_ "...One more thing; how come my wand isn't made of wood?" Ino inquired._

_ "A reasonable question. It would seem that unique ingredients, such as those in your wands, are not only picky about their wielders, but also their… shell, so to speak."_

_ "I see." Ino said, looking at her wand. She and Sakura left the decrepit shop._

_(Yamanaka Ino – Boar Tusk, Pebble, 13 in.)_

* * *

Sakura glared at Ino across the large expanse of the Quidditch field as she cheered for Slytherin. Somehow, something about this was Naruto's fault…

* * *

Kuwabara looked over at where Hiei was standing. He would bet five dollars that the shrimp had something to do with Slytherin's cheating. Who else would do something so low? Well, perhaps Sasuke… after all, ninja were supposed to be dark, evil… but Naruto didn't fit either of those… 

… It was Hiei's fault…

* * *

Kiba covered his ears, watching as the match progressed. Stupid Slytherin… it was probably the team captain's fault.

* * *

Shikamaru leaned against a wall and put his hands together. He could hear angry yelling at Slytherin coming from Griffindor, and loud cheering for Slytherin coming from one Ravenclaw and one Hufflepuff. Not only that, but it sounded like Lee and Kuwabara had joined Naruto. 

It was rising to an earsplitting level. And it was hard to concentrate with this noise. So troublesome…

And whose fault was it? Obvious: all of the above.

* * *

Neji put his hands over his ears and moved away from Naruto, Lee, and Kuwabara. It seemed as though they were trying to create a sonic boom on their voices alone. 

"What's goin' on with Harry's broomstick?" Neji heard Hagrid ask. He looked over at the field, where Harry's broom was apparently trying to shake him off.

"It's Snape; he's jinxing the broom!" Hermione said, putting down her binoculars.

"Jinxing the broom? What do we do?" Ron asked desperately.

"Leave it to me." Hermione said quickly, hurrying away.

Neji looked over to where Harry was now hanging from his broom, and wondered idly if he was going to fall. "Hurry up Hermione." Ron whispered urgently.

Hermione, meanwhile, was running up toward the box where Snape was sitting. Pulling out her wand, she laid it lightly on his cloak. "_Lacarnum Inflamarae._" She said quietly. A spark shot out of the wand and immediately lit on Snape's cloak, growing quickly.

Needless to say; it worked, and the Quidditch match proceeded, with Harry pulling a dazzling stunt and catching the Snitch.

* * *

"Koenma-sama…" Botan muttered. 

"What?" Koenma demanded.

"We've been doing this for five hours straight…" She turned another page in the huge history book she was looking through. George nodded in agreement from his location across the room.

"So?" Koenma asked.

"Couldn't you help at least a _little_?" George complained. Koenma looked up from his bottle incredulously (somehow he managed to suck on his bottle and pacifier at the same time, though not without spilling the soda from the bottle).

"Of course I'm helping! What do you call this?" Koenma gestured toward the stacks of paper on either side of him.

"But you haven't even been taking care of those!" Botan protested. Koenma looked at the books that Botan and George were going through, then at his stacks of paperwork. At least researching the shinobi would provide an excuse to not do the paperwork…

"Alright, give me one of those!" Koenma ordered. Botan and George immediately dumped both their books on his desk, the vibrations causing the stacks of paperwork to fall on them. Koenma left them to sort out the mess as he pulled one of the books toward him and looked through the Table of Contents. Finding nothing of interest, he moved on to the next book. One of the titles caught his eye, though it didn't look like anything related to shinobi (anything to get away from the paperwork), and he started flipping toward the page.

Botan and George watched, with similar thoughts:

_ It took five hours to go through a part of one… _They went quietly about the business of restacking the paperwork, both in awe at the wisdom of looking through the Table of Contents when one is trying to find something.

Koenma raised an eyebrow at the passage he was reading. Translated into English, it said:

**During the time Voldemort was gathering followers, there was a number of wizards who disappeared, who, by all accounts, had not encountered Voldemort. At first it was assumed that they had had contact with him anyway, but it was recently discerned that these wizards had actually formed a small, temporary group. This rules out the possibility that they were under the Imperius Curse, and the discovery that very few of them were very remarkable in regard to their magical capability makes it doubtful that Voldemort would attempt to search them out, anyway. It is still being researched.**

What was the deal with that? All the passages around it lasted pages! Koenma went back to the Table of Contents, feeling quite cheated.

* * *

"Got everything?" Shikamaru asked, polishing a little stick, with his wand lying at his side. Being the elected leader was troublesome, but the alternatives had left him no choice…

* * *

_ "We might as well have someone to keep order." Tenten said._

_ "I vote for me!" Naruto immediately yelled. Nine shinobi, four kunoichi, and a little dog looked at him in a somewhat unfriendly manner._

_ "If we're going to elect a leader then we should do it in an efficient manner." Ino said._

_ They proceeded to argue, rant, scream, and make an occasional monologue, their opinions radically differing on what an "efficient manner" would be, but eventually came to the conclusion that if everyone was given one small scroll, and wrote the name of whoever they thought should be leader on it, then set them in neat lines with the rows showing those who had gotten votes, and the columns showing how many times each person had been voted for. The one with the most votes in the end would be elected._

_ They had ended up with five blank scrolls, one vote for Sakura, two votes for Naruto, two votes for Sasuke, and five votes for Shikamaru._

_ Shikamaru had considered declining, but then either Naruto or Sasuke would become the leader, and that would be troublesome._

* * *

"Let's go through the list." Ino suggested. 

"Troublesome, but fine. Lights?"

"On." Temari said, setting the last one in place and carefully letting her chakra weave through the cords to the rest of the lights, illuminating the bowl.

"Trap Door?"

"Closed and concealed." Kiba said proudly, petting Akamaru.

"Scrolls?"

"Right here." Neji said, and Hinata, standing next to him, nodded.

"Naruto and Sasuke?"

"More or less under control." Kankuro said; Gaara was standing between the two glaring shinobi. Said shinobi had hardened sand up to their ankles.

"All right. Neji, Hinata, pass the scrolls." Shikamaru sat back.

It didn't take long for everyone to have his or her scroll, and Shikamaru stood up, holding his little stick. He raised it, and let it fall, bringing it back up in a bouncing motion. The scrolls unrolled. An additional bounce, and everyone pricked one of their fingers.

On the final bounce, there was a loud chorus of "poof!" And the sand around Naruto and Sasuke's feet softened. They each grinned in the general direction of the other through the smokescreen, their fingers twitching.

"Ready!" Shikamaru said, raising his stick. There was no answer.

"Set!" He could almost feel the tension.

"Go." He plopped onto the ground as he said it, opting to watch and listen, rather than participate. Naruto's voice immediately cut through the air as the music started:

"_Tooku de kikoeru koe wo hitori!_" Naruto sang as loud as he could, so he could be heard over his own guitar and Sasuke's. The others were hard-pressed to match their volume.

_Hitori mata hitori de chi agaru doushi!_

_Kurikaesu dake no fudan doori!_

_Itsu ga iku junbi ii __are you ready!_

_Karadejuu fuu no wa shinzou ni!_

_Hageshiku chi narase yo __stomping!_

_Taeru tsuki wo ukasu __call me!_

_Kawarisugiru ga nuki ka __story!_

Sakura and Ino jumped into their part with a vengeance, as the sound level rose even higher:

_Come on! Everybody stand up!_

_Agero kyou ichiban no jikan da!_

_Me ni mo tomoran no __speed__ wo handa!_

_Dare mo nobinattori ko kanba __yeah!_

_Come on! Everybody hands up!_

_Mata ashita no heroes wa comeback!_

_Tsuujou kazoe hibi wo __countdown!_

_Iku ze, __3-2-1, make some noise!_

The two kunoichi then started echoing each other until they had done "make some noise" seven times. Then it was Kiba's turn:

_Hey yo,__ mou tasho no risuku wa kakugo desho!_

_Nankai korondatte tatsu get it on!_

_Nareai janaize kamihitoe no sesshon!_

_Irikunda kanjou kizukuageta kesshou!_

It was Sasuke's turn. Naruto had wanted this part, but his request had been vetoed:

_Mochiagaru kansei ga yuuki to naru!_

_Tachiagareba ima kurushimi tomonau!_

_Sore demo saikou wa kitto aru!_

_Subete sarau to shouri no kansei!_

Back to Sakura and Ino:

_Everybody stand up!_

_Agero kyou ichiban no jikan da!_

_Me ni mo tomoran no __speed__ wo handa!_

_Dare mo nobinattori ko kanba (__yeah!)_

_Come on! Everybody hands up!_

_Mata ashita no heroes wa comeback!_

_Tsuujou kazoe hibi wo __countdown!_

_Iku ze, __3-2-1, make some noise!_

The music stopped, and Shikamaru yawned. It could use a little adjusting here and there, but altogether it was fairly good. Naruto and Sasuke were both panting, after running everywhere through the bowl (including the sides and top) while jamming on their guitars. Though they were probably both ready for several more rounds.

However, Shikamaru was content to leave it there and come back later to do some other song.

* * *

By the way, I don't own "Heroes Comeback".

I didn't update last week because I only had 700 words.

I would have went into more detail on the Quidditch match, but I ran out of time.

I did "Voldemort" and not "He Who Must Not Be Named" because I don't think the whole name thing would get across to Asia, let alone Spirit World (Should I do "Spirit World" or "Reikai"?).

The ninja/wizard power relationship is tied in to a certain plot detail (kind of), which will be revealed in due time.

It'll probably be quite a while before I can explain what 'Home' is.

Has anyone else noticed how all the crushes revolve around Team 7?


	28. Anticipation

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"Codswallop. Why would Snape try to jinx Harry's broom?" Hagrid asked.

"I don't know; why did he try to get past that three-headed dog?" Harry replied casually.

"Who told you about Fluffy?" Hagrid demanded.

"Fluffy?" Ron said.

"That _thing_ has a name?" Hermione asked.

"Course he does; he's mine." Hagrid replied, "bought him off an Irishman down in India, to guard the, uh… shouldn't have said that… no more questions! Don't ask any more questions! That's top secret, that is." He finished abruptly.

"But Hagrid, whatever's down there, Snape's trying to steal it!" Harry protested. Hagrid stopped in his tracks.

"Now look, you three are meddling in things that ought not to be meddled in. It's dangerous. What's down there is strictly between Dumbledore, and Nicholas Flamel!" Hagrid scolded.

"Nicholas Flamel?" Hermione wondered.

Hagrid blinked, "Shouldn't have told you that…" He started walking again, muttering, "I should _not _have told you that…" Harry, Ron, and Hermione, however, didn't follow.

* * *

Naruto yawned and stretched, rubbing his eyes. Lee was already up, though Naruto didn't need to look to know that. Neji hadn't gotten up yet. 

"Naruto, it's going to be Christmas soon!" Lee exclaimed. Naruto glanced at him.

"Christmas…?"

"You know… that holiday that we celebrated when we went to kindergarten in America?" Lee tried to explain. They had done that one or two centuries before, but didn't like it much, so they didn't stay for first grade.

"… The one where we dressed up as monsters, or the one where we gave each other presents?" Naruto asked.

"The one where we gave each other presents."

"… Oh, yeah!" Naruto said, remembering. Lee gave him a thumbs-up sign, accompanied by a sparkling tooth.

"Lee, Naruto…" Neji yawned, sitting up, "Shikamaru almost forgot to tell us something; He wants us to remember to hold to Western tradition, and celebrate Christmas." Lee and Naruto looked at him, confused for a moment.

"You mean, give gifts?" Lee asked. Neji nodded.

"You can give them to anyone. And Naruto, there was a special rule for you and Sasuke…" He spent the next five minutes explaining that Naruto and Sasuke were to make sure the gifts they gave to other shinobi (A/N by "shinobi" I, of course, mean the fifteen) and the gifts they gave to other students remained at either an even ratio, or more students than shinobi.

"I think I get it now…" Naruto said, nodding wisely. Neji sighed in relief. "… I just have to get a present for everyone, and it'll work out."

"Good enough." Neji said, standing up.

Naruto only had one dilemma now: how was he going to get that much money? Unless he just gave presents to all the Griffindors… but that would exclude Sakura…

* * *

"There's a ningen holiday coming up." Hiei remarked casually, sitting atop his four-poster bed (A/N not just _on _the bed, on _top_ of the bed). 

"I know." Sasuke replied, though he thought of it more as an American holiday. He rested his hands behind his head, also sitting on top of his bed.

"You planning on celebrating it?" Hiei drew his sword, and looked over it. Dumbledore had been vehemently opposed to him bringing it, but Hiei had been vehemently opposed to leaving it behind, and eventually Hiei had been granted permission to bring it so long as he promised to not use it to harm anything living (though Dumbledore specifically told him the ghosts _did_ fall under the category of "living").

"More or less." Sasuke did have some plans for "celebrating" Christmas, but they were not "in the Christmas spirit" so to speak.

* * *

"Christmas is coming up!" Ino said happily, writing something. Yusuke looked at her. 

"So, you're making a wish list?" He asked. He had read about Christmas, though not voluntarily. Kurama had made him study American holidays, and Christmas was one of the few he remembered.

"Oh, no. I'm writing a list of the things I'm going to get for Sasuke." Ino replied. Yusuke sweat-dropped. Hinata, over in a corner of the room, wondered if she should get something for Naruto.

"I should get something for Shikamaru." Chouji remarked, munching on his chips.

* * *

"That's right! Christmas is coming up!" Sakura exclaimed, delighted. Kurama froze in the act of reading. Christmas… meant gifts… 

At least he would only be getting gifts from half the female population of Hogwarts, though he actually felt a little sorry for the other half of the female population, because, early on, both halves had learned something very quickly: Kurama was bound by his politeness, but Sasuke had no such limitations.

"Now… what to get for Sasuke…? Maybe I should get something for Naruto, too…" Sakura muttered, thinking hard. Kurama raised an eyebrow behind his book, Sakura had just earned some suspicion points.

"This is going to be a troublesome year." Shikamaru sighed.

* * *

Short chapter, but I was having a hard time remembering what was supposed to happen next, and by the time I remembered, it was about two days before the deadline.  



	29. Christmas, A Very Long Day, Indeed

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"Wake up, Harry! It's Christmas!" Ron shouted from the common room. Harry rubbed his eyes and sat up drowsily. On the next bed over, Naruto yawned, grabbing the side of his bed and dragging himself out. He was obviously less than half-awake, but still eager to get to the presents.

Harry raised an eyebrow at Naruto, and walked out. Just in time to miss Naruto standing up, now fully awake in what would seem to be an unnaturally short amount of time.

"Happy Christmas, Harry." Ron greeted as Harry came into view.

"Happy Christmas, Ron. What are you wearing?" Harry replied, looking at Ron's maroon sweater.

"Oh, mum made it for me. Looks like you got one, too." Ron said, looking at the pile of presents.

"I have presents?" Harry asked, his eyes widening.

"Yeah." Ron responded. Harry smiled, and Naruto walked out. Harry ran down.

"Hm? What did I miss?" Naruto asked. He didn't wait for an answer, though, as he spotted the presents, and set his priorities straight (namely: gifts first, questions later).

"Looks like this one's for you." Ron said, picking up a present and giving it to Harry. Harry looked at the card, and read it out loud.

"'Your father left this in my possession before he died. It's time it was returned to you. Use it well.'" Harry looked at the card, confused, and started unwrapping the gift. It was a cloak.

"Put it on." Ron encouraged. Naruto nodded excitedly, and Harry obliged. As soon as the cloak had gone around his shoulders, everything under it disappeared.

"Whoa!" Ron said. Naruto's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open.

"My body's gone!" Harry exclaimed.

"I know what that is; it's an invisibility cloak!" Ron said in awe, "They're really rare. I wonder who sent it to you?" He picked up the card, and Harry walked over.

"There's no name, it just said 'use it well.'" He explained. They looked at each other, and Harry took off the cloak, folding it and putting it down carefully. It could be very useful later…

"Hey, look! We all got something from fuzzy-eyebrows!" Naruto yelled. As if summoned, Lee appeared, with Neji. Naruto quickly unwrapped the present, holding it up for everyone to see. It was orange spandex, with large blue swirls, one each on the shoulders, chest, and back. Little hearts appeared in Naruto's eyes even as Harry, Ron, and Neji leaned back, revolted. Fred and George entered the room, looking slightly sleepy.

"Thank you, fuzzy-eyebrows!" Naruto said as he hugged his new spandex. Lee gave him the thumbs-up, and the other occupants of the room looked apprehensively at the presents whose cards indicated that they were from Lee. Harry took a deep breath, and started unwrapping his. Beside him, Ron did, as well.

"… Thank you… Lee…" Harry managed to say as he held up dark green spandex that had bright yellow lightning bolts where Naruto had swirls. Ron didn't say anything as he held up his own bright red spandex. Lee shined his tooth at them, actually feeling thankful for once that he had had so much free time. With all the time he had, even when he trained, or practiced on his bagpipe, there was still plenty that he didn't know what to do with. So, where he hadn't had the time to practice making spandex before becoming immortal, he now had all the time in the world. Of course, that train of thought led him to Gai, who had taught him how to make spandex…

By this time, Fred and George had also unwrapped their identical red-and-yellow striped spandex, though Neji hadn't gotten one step closer to the pile.

"… From Sasuke…?" Naruto picked up a large, over wrapped box, and the others looked toward him curiously. Naruto started unwrapping the box, and took off the lid. It was another box. Naruto took it out and pulled the lid off again. Another box…

Seven boxes later, Naruto found a little card. Feeling a sense of accomplishment now that he had made it through the boxes, Naruto triumphantly opened the card, and George muttered to Fred, "I have a bad feeling about this…" Fred just nodded.

"What does it say?" Ron asked looking over Naruto's shoulder. Naruto didn't respond, and an angry black cloud seemed to grow above his head. Ron looked at the little picture, and didn't really understand, but felt that he got the gist of it. On the card was a picture of some guy with long black hair and slit eyes, sticking out an abnormally long tongue.

"That jerk…" Naruto muttered. Ron stepped away, his survival instincts kicking in. Neji, who had activated Byakugan to look at the card (disregarding the rule against using Kekkai Genkai), immediately deactivated it. _That's low…_ he thought. A few seconds later, and Naruto had a blue sphere in his hand.

"Rasengan!" Naruto shouted, ramming his jutsu through every single box that had been in Sasuke's "gift", and then the card for good measure.

Kuwabara came into the room to find it a complete and utter mess. He hardly noticed though, and went straight to where Eikichi and Nibi were sitting on one of the presents. It was addressed to him, from Lee. He opened the box, and pulled out some large blue spandex.

* * *

"The common room is quite a sight." Hiei remarked, looking over his sword. He and Sasuke were once again sitting on top of their beds. He was referring to the huge pile of gifts that had come addressed to Sasuke.

"I noticed." Sasuke replied, relaxing against the wall.

"Some of the other Slytherins decided to build a little castle with all the presents." Hiei continued.

"I'm going to burn most of them. Want to join me?" Sasuke asked. Hiei grinned.

"Sounds fun."

* * *

"Seriously, Ino. Calm down, would you?" Kiba complained. Ino tossed another present aside, hardly noticing. Hinata, over in a corner, looked carefully over the tags, doing something similar to what Ino was doing. Namely, looking for a gift for her that was from her crush.

Ino picked up another box, and was about to toss it aside, when she noticed what the tag said: From: Lee/To: Ino. Curiously, she decided to return to her search after finding out what Lee had gotten for her.

She regretted the decision as she unwrapped the present, and held up spandex, with pale yellow and vibrant purple in a fancy pattern. Kiba, from his seat over to the side, stopped breathing as shock coursed through him. Luckily for him, though, he started breathing again when he started feeling a little light-headed, so he didn't pass out.

"Looks like there's one for you, too." Tenten remarked, handing Kiba a gift from Lee. She had already unwrapped her own green spandex… and on that note, filled it with holes and tossed it out the window.

"Here's one for me… and Hinata… hey, look, Yusuke, there's one for you, too!" Chouji said, handing Yusuke a box. Yusuke, who had paying absolutely no attention at all, took the present absently and unwrapped it. He raised an eyebrow at the bright green spandex, and left the room.

Hinata took one look at her lavender spandex, and dropped it from nerveless fingers. She quickly turned her attention back to the rest of the gifts.

* * *

"So troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered, looking at the stack of gifts that had managed to touch the ceiling (completely burying the tree). Kurama was staring up at it, a little pale.

"We each received a gift from Lee." Shino said quietly. Shikamaru sighed, and heard a scream. He glanced at Sakura, who had just unwrapped her gift from Lee. It was emerald green spandex. He rubbed his eyes; this was going to be a long day…

Shino handed him a present, with a simple explanation: "by your orders, we are to celebrate the holiday." Shikamaru looked at it, and sweat-dropped. A very long day, indeed…

Sakura picked up a present from Naruto, and just kind of looked at it. After half a minute of staring, she decided to open it, cautiously of course. It was a package of cup ramen. Setting it aside, she turned back to the pile, and noticed a present that was addressed to Shikamaru, from Fred and George. Deciding that, among all these presents addressed to Kurama, there was no telling how long it would take to find one this small again, Sakura decided to give it to Shikamaru before it was once more swallowed in the horde of gifts.

"Hey, Shikamaru, catch!" She said, tossing the present toward him. Shikamaru looked up, startled, and (thanks to shinobi reflexes) caught the flying package. He sat down to open it.

Berty Botts Every Flavor Beans… Shikamaru sighed and flipped open the top, watching as the unwrapping of presents progressed. He flicked a bright red bean into his mouth, and his eyes widened. His shock could only last for a moment, though, as everything went dark.

* * *

Naruto picked up a present that had been sitting under all the others. The card indicated that it was from Hinata. He was still seething about Sasuke's "gift" and was now very thankful that he had sent something similarly unfriendly. He opened the gift, and pulled out a little white figure of a bird.

His stomach growled, and his mind was suddenly going through several scenarios on how to get something to eat. He decided to act on the one that required the least work, and bit his finger. Slapping it on one of the couches, he muttered "Kuchiyose no jutsu," and a bowl of ramen appeared on the cushion, nothing to compare in size to the one that he had summoned in the Forbidden Forest, of course, because this was just a small break before returning to presents.

Or at least, that was how he intended it. Just as he was about to take a bite of ramen, something seemed to "screech" inside his head, and he looked at the rim of the bowl… about six inches in radius… meaning a foot in diameter… what about the area? If he were to use 3.14 for pi…

"Did you say something?" Ron asked, watching as Naruto stared at a bowl of ramen. He thought he had heard Naruto say something like "six times six. Thirty-six, of course…" … Where did that ramen come from?

"The area of a circle equals the radius squared, times pi." Naruto stated. Ron's eyebrows skyrocketed, and he inched away from Naruto. "The radius is about 6 in. 6 in. squared is 36 sq. in. 36 times pi (if we use 3.14 for pi) is 113.04. That would make the area enclosed by the rim of this ramen bowl 113.04 sq. in. If we were to reduce that to square feet…"

"What's up with him?" Fred wondered.

"I'm not sure I want to know." George replied, though Fred's question had been rhetorical. Neji glanced at them, mentally going through scenarios on what could have gone so horribly wrong that Naruto was giving a math lesson to Ron. Of course, as soon as he noticed what he was doing, and how quickly he was doing it, he knew the answer. Though, it brought up another question: _what happened to Shikamaru?_

Neji looked at where Naruto was now giving Ron a lesson on how to find the volume of the ramen inside the bowl ("The current volume is… **burp…** zero!") and decided to stay up in the boys' dormitory for a little while, hopefully until Shikamaru wasn't affecting his mind anymore. But what he found in the dormitory didn't help at all: Lee was giving himself a pep talk.

"I am a genius of hard work! Therefore I must train diligently!" He said, looking up at the ceiling. He remained in that pose for a moment, and then plopped down onto the window seat, "… later."

* * *

The door opened to admit Kankuro.

"Hey, looks like Naruto sent you a gift, Sasuke. Everyone's dieing to figure out what it is." He informed him. His tone indicated that he was also curious. Sasuke sighed, hopped off his bed, and made his way to the common room, where the sight of a little half-finished castle of presents greeted him, compact enough to fit in the room. Temari handed him a small box, and he flipped open the lid. Inside was a card.

Opening the card, Sasuke knew just which present to burn first. He would have plenty of time to cremate the rest later…

Flicking the card into the air, he made some rapid signs with his hands, and took a deep breath. "Katon! Gokakyuu no jutsu!" He shouted, letting the air out in a somewhat small fireball that sent several students running for cover (he made sure it wasn't _too_ big. That would be troublesome).

The picture of Jiraiya making a face went up in flames.

* * *

Sakura looked up as she heard a dull "thud" and saw Shikamaru sitting, leaning against the wall, unconscious. Her eyes widened, and she walked over, already going through several scenarios on how _this_ could have happened.

She and Shino knelt down next to Shikamaru, and Sakura put a hand on Shikamaru's forehead. Shino grasped her wrist, "No use of jutsu. That is the rule." He stated. Sakura glared at him, but took her hand off of Shikamaru's forehead. It wasn't like she could just pull someone out of an unconscious state, anyway. Though she _did_ want to know what had caused it.

"What happened?" Kurama asked, coming up behind them. Sakura looked at him, startled. She had noticed that he had been showing up a lot lately, and she had a good guess as to why.

"I'm not sure." She answered, looking suspiciously at the box of candy in Shikamaru's hand. Her first guess would be that something in there was the cause… Sakura's mind started wandering as she looked at the unconscious shinobi. She wondered what Kurama would think if he knew that he was barely two feet away from the elected leader of those whom he was looking for. And, consequently, the reason the fifteen (thirteen if you don't count Naruto and Sasuke) were hiding.

"We should bring him up to the dormitory." Shino said, or rather, ordered. Sakura smiled encouragingly at him and Kurama, and went to the girls' dormitory, opting to allow Kurama the privilege of carrying Shikamaru. It wasn't like Shino was going to help, after all. Not with the use of his bugs practically outlawed.

She was halfway there when she noticed the cup ramen that Naruto had gotten for her. She picked it up, and looked back at where Shino was instructing a sweat-dropping Kurama how he was to carry Shikamaru. Sakura shrugged, and continued into the girls' dormitory, where she wondered how she was supposed to get boiling water. So troublesome…

Sakura immediately shook off the last thought, and decided to head to the kitchen, where she got some boiling water, and she went to the Great Hall after putting it in the ramen.

She took one bite of ramen, and spit it out as she identified one of the ingredients as love potion. An attractive image of Naruto appeared in her mind, and Sakura's eyes widened, horrified.

The image wouldn't go away, and it seemed to be continually getting more attractive. Sakura desperately decided to try and fight the artificial feelings with her natural ones, and, ignoring the Shikamaru-sounding voice that said that it might have troublesome results, conjured an image of Sasuke.

* * *

"Lay his head on the pillow." Shino instructed. Kurama sighed, and obeyed.

"Now…" Shino was cut off by a loud scream (though muffled due to distance and obstruction) of abject terror coming from the Great Hall, and his eyes widened behind his glasses as a very unwelcome (and very disturbing) image formed slowly in his mind, obviously coming from Sakura.

It was Naruto, and Sasuke, in one. Blue-black hair, in Naruto's style, one eye was sharp, with a red, slit pupil. The other was wide, with a Sharingan. The _thing_ was wearing Naruto's outfit, in Sasuke's colors. It had two wings that looked like over-sized webbed hands, and a glowing red tail. And it had a sword.

Shino felt a very twisted kind of awe.

* * *

Ino screamed as "Narusuke" appeared in her head. Kiba choked on some candy, and Akamaru whimpered. Chouji's eyebrows looked as though they were about to fly off his forehead. Hinata made some sounds that sounded similar to Akamaru's, and Tenten's eyes bugged out. The horror… the troublesome horror…

* * *

Neji shivered as the image got across to him, and he suddenly felt nauseous. Lee, from his seat on the windowsill, yelped in shock, surprise, and fear. It was a truly disgusting thing.

* * *

Gaara's eyes widened, and if there were any sand around, it would be surrounding him, trying to defend against an intangible enemy. Temari and Kankuro had similar reactions (without the sand part), and they sat down, feeling suddenly dizzy with shock, horror, and aversion.

* * *

Naruto strolled along the hallway toward the Great Hall, feeling proud of his newfound ability to estimate the volume of ramen. He noticed Sasuke coming from the other direction, and he frowned.

Getting the bright (no, not really) idea to show off his new math skills to his rival, he decided that he shouldn't have left that bowl in the common room. No matter, though, he could summon another one… Naruto stopped cold in his tracks as a horribly distorted image invaded his thoughts, crowding out all others. He barely registered that Sasuke had stopped as well, looking somewhat… disgusted.

Then Sakura exited the Great Hall, took one look at each of them, and made a sobbing sound, stumbling to get away from them. Naruto looked at her, confused. "Sakura… what's wrong?" He asked. Sakura just continued to desperately try to get away from them.

"… We should take her to the Hospital Wing." Sasuke said. Naruto wanted to disagree, but looking at Sakura, decided that it was probably best not to argue. It would just make this all the more troublesome. He nodded reluctantly, and he and Sasuke went over to Sakura, picking her up to take her to the Hospital Wing, despite her pleas for someone else. Anyone else…

* * *

"Love potion." Madame Pomfrey stated, "temporary, thankfully. She should remain here until it wears off. And it would be better if you two left her alone until then." She added sternly. Naruto realized that if it were love potion, then it would be from his present to her. He protested to having to leave, but between Sasuke and Madam Pomfrey, he was eventually dragged out of the Hospital Wing.

Madam Pomfrey looked at the now traumatized Sakura, and picked up a cup. "Take this, it should be soothing." She prompted gently. Sakura took the cup in trembling fingers and drank it. Madam Pomfrey nodded in satisfaction as it knocked her out cold. Better that she remained unconscious until the potion wore off.

* * *

"No…" Neji said quietly. He felt more alien emotions adding onto the ones already mixing in his head, foremost among them being a pure (well, not anymore) fear. And not far behind was admiration… for Naruto, and Sasuke. The horrible picture in his mind seemed to be compounded by these feelings (it closed its eyes and smiled in what seemed to be a cross between Naruto and Sasuke's. In other words, it looked obliviously… psycho), and Neji leaned against the wall, wishing this nightmare would end.

The thing was, it couldn't be a nightmare, because the fifteen never dreamed. Not since Home had first entered their lives, and a strange realm of half-sleep replaced dreams… Neji put a hand on his forehead. This train of thought was _not_ helping his mood in the slightest.

"Did you say something?" Fred asked. Neji's hand tightened.

"No. Go away." He retorted. Trust the twins to come and finish making the day a living nightmare. He would much prefer the kind of nightmare that, by now, he could barely remember, because it had been so long since he'd had one. Not that he could escape _this_ fate, no matter how much he struggled.

* * *

"… Are you all right?" Yusuke asked, concerned. Ino shook her head violently.

"No! I'm not all right! Go away!" She screamed, clutching her head. Yusuke put his hands up in a placating gesture.

"All right, all right. Just asking." Yusuke turned away, "sheesh…"

* * *

Three hours later, Sakura was out of the Hospital Wing, and Naruto was running for his eternal life. Sasuke and Hiei dual-burned all presents remaining in the Slytherin common room (the other Slytherins had made sure to move all of their presents out of the area). Including the red-black spandex that had come for Hiei, and the blue-black (with a picture of a certain fan on the back) spandex that had come for Sasuke.

Ino and Kiba had buried their spandex, and Hinata wondered if Naruto had gotten her present as she held the card that Naruto had sent to her. Tenten, after learning the details about this painful day, joined Sakura in her hunt for Naruto. The only thing complicating it was that Naruto had made a few hundred Shadow Clones to throw them off, and created quite a bit of confusion whenever two (or more) of them passed through a hallway with other students at the same time.

Shikamaru took a longer time to wake up, but eventually he was sitting up, staring at clouds, and putting this day near the top of his list of "1000 Most Troublesome Days In My Life". It used to be 100, but that was before he became immortal.

* * *

Dumbledore tapped his glass, and the room fell silent, "We have prepared another recipe from the unearthed library. We hope that the results will be better than last time." He announced.

Naruto looked at several large bowls that appeared on the table with the other food. Hearts appeared in his eyes.

"This is… Ichiraku style…" he whispered in awe. He stood up on his seat to give a speech about ramen, and its various tastes and styles. Unfortunately, as he stepped up to put one foot on the table, he heard a slight "squish" sound and looked down to find his foot in his bowl.

"_MY RAMEN!!!_" He screamed.

* * *

Shikamaru leaned back against the side of the bowl… perhaps he would participate this time. He needed to relieve some stress, as well, after all. Kind of like the stress that had been caused when he got his wand…

* * *

"_Your turn." Ino announced, stepping out of the shop. Shikamaru sighed._

_He looked at Chouji, who nodded at him encouragingly as he munched on his new candy.  
_

"_I'll wait for you to be done." Chouji said, smiling._

_…_

"_How about… this one?" Ollivander wondered, handing Shikamaru another box. So far Shikamaru had been far less destructive than the rest, but he was still going through several wands. Ollivander was starting to get slightly frustrated by how long it was taking to go through each of his customers._

_Shikamaru flicked the wand… so troublesome…_

_There was a sound of hoof beats that seemed to prance around the room, and Ollivander raised an eyebrow, as a shimmering image of a deer suddenly appeared in the room. It stomped a hoof, then lay down and started snoring. It gradually faded…_

_(Nara Shikamaru – Deer Antler, Hippogryph Feather, 13 in.)_

* * *

"So, what song are we doing?" Ino asked. Shikamaru handed her a piece of paper, coming to the decision that he would participate. Ino raised an eyebrow at the two words on the paper, and held it up. The other thirteen immediately got into position at their various instruments, and a couple notes sounded. 

"All right." Shikamaru said, picking up his stick; his role was Conductor. He brought the stick up, and there was a moment of tension just before the stick came down, and the music started. There were no female voices, and only one male voice, so Kiba was the only one singing:

_Fumikomu ze akuseru kakehiki wa nai sa sou dayo!_

_Yoru wo nukeru!_

_Nejikomu sa saigo ni sashihiki __zero__ sa sou dayo!_

_Hibi wo kezuru!_

_Kokoro wo sotto hiraite gyutto hiki yosetara!_

_Todoku yo kitto tsutau yo motto saa aa!_

_Iki isoide shiboritotte!_

_Mostureru ashi dakedo mai yori sutto tooku he!_

_Ubaitotte tsukandatte!_

_Kimi janai nara imi wa nai no sa!_

_Dakara motto motto motto haruka kanata!_

Shikamaru noticed that Sakura, on the acoustic drums, had been doing something somewhat similar to what Naruto and Sasuke always did; namely, getting as much volume as she possibly could out of her instrument. The difference being that where Naruto and Sasuke were doing it so they wouldn't lose to each other, Sakura was doing it purely to relieve stress.

"Let's leave it there." Shikamaru said. He never thought he'd look forward to sleep after Home had totally perverted it, but after today, he was anxious to escape from this crazy world, even if only for a night.

* * *

"Koenma-sama… I found something around the time period those shinobi disappeared." Botan said. Koenma turned his attention to her, away from the book in front of him. "It says here…" Botan continued, putting a finger on the page, "Eighteen hundred years ago, we were still waging war on the Nether World. It caused quite a bit of congestion in the spirits we were ferrying, and several had to wait a while before being sent on. The thing is, when King Enma destroyed Nether World, it caused a huge disturbance, and several spirits disappeared."

"The fifteen?" Koenma asked anxiously. Botan shook her head.

"No. Actually, most of the displaced spirits were found and brought back, and the congestion eased itself out. But, apparently there were two spirits who remained unaccounted for. They appear to have not only been thrown out of place, but out of time as well, because they are still missing." Botan finished. Koenma sighed, exasperated.

"We'll just tell the Tantei to keep a lookout. If they were thrown out of time then chances are, they won't be here, anyway. They'll be later." Koenma had scarcely returned to his book when George thought about something.

"You know, Koenma-sama, it's getting kind of close to the end of the term, and according to Kurama's reports, only two shinobi have been found, and only one other student seems suspicious." He remarked.

"What are you suggesting?" Koenma demanded.

"Well, I just came across this brief description of how the ninja community worked, and I got an idea." George said.

"Well? Out with it!" Koenma ordered.

George flipped a page in his book, "It says that there were several ranks, and special exams that ninja had to go through to obtain them. The lowest rank was genin. That was usually obtained at a young age. Next was chuunin. Ages vary quite a bit there, but it says that the Five Shinobi Nations would send genin that they deemed worthy of taking the exam to a designated area, where they would undergo a series of tests. It goes into detail about how it was done, here." He indicated an area on the page.

"So?" Koenma asked impatiently. George decided to hurry up.

"Well, I just thought… maybe we should have a backup plan in case we can't find them with what we're doing. If we were to have an exam, say… at the end of the year, maybe just before the term ends. And use things that the ninja had in the Chuunin Exam, perhaps it could lead straight to them?" Koenma's face brightened.

"Glad I thought of it!" He exclaimed. Botan and George sweat-dropped, and Koenma continued excitedly, "It's perfect! If the Tantei can't find them by the end of the year, we'll just have a wizard-style Chuunin Exam, and enroll any student who seems to be ahead of the others!"

George looked at his book, and was glad he had decided on mentioning chuunin, rather than genin or jounin. Genin was fairly simple, and too easy, and jounin was… well, harsh, too harsh for this. After all, they couldn't underestimate the shinobi, but if the shinobi (excluding Naruto and Sasuke) had shown attributes that would qualify them for a Jounin Exam, they would have been found long ago.

"I can see it, now." Koenma continued, "Advanced Placement Exam… A.P.E! For those who are far ahead of their respective classes! Also known as, the Wizard Exam!" Botan and George's sweat-drops doubled, and they hurriedly returned to their books.

* * *

George knocked on the side of the huge dome, "Hollow." He commented. Fred raised an eyebrow, and drew his wand.

"That music that was coming from it before was really loud." Fred remarked, tapping the side of the dome. He was reluctant to break it, because that would show that someone had been here, and the twins had learned through experience that someone finding out that they had been somewhere they shouldn't often led to being caught.

"What language was that, anyway?" George wondered.

"What I want to know is, where's the entrance?" Fred asked, starting to walk around to bowl. There had to be one…

"Let's come again later; it's getting pretty late." George suggested. Fred nodded, and they left.

"That bean idea was great." Fred said, smiling as they walked back toward Hogwarts.

"Why, thank you." George replied.

* * *

Wow. Huge chapter, that one.

By the way, I don't own "Haruka Kanata" (on that note, apologies if I got any of the words wrong; I was doing it by memory).  



	30. The Day Started Bad, It Got Worse

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Japanese

** Snake** (may be used for Frog or Slug, though not in this chapter)

"Checkmate." Ron said. Harry sighed.

"Hi, guys!" Naruto greeted loudly, Sasuke next to him. Harry almost jumped; he hadn't heard any footsteps.

"Just came to tell you that if you want me, I'll be on roof!" Naruto said cheerfully. He walked away, and Sasuke started walking in a different direction. Naruto stopped when he noticed, and turned slightly.

"Where are you going?" He asked curiously. Sasuke glanced at him.

"Just to the Forbidden Forest for a little while. Don't wait for me." He left.

* * *

"Hey, Naruto! Where are you going?" Hagrid asked. Naruto froze in the act of putting a foot on the wall and walking straight up. 

"Um… I was going up to the roof." Naruto replied.

"You expect to just walk straight up?" Hagrid laughed.

"No! … That would be crazy, wouldn't it?" Naruto put his foot down.

"Oh, don't worry. I've already been informed that you're a… shinobi, was it?" Hagrid grinned, and Naruto blinked.

"Who told you?" Naruto wondered.

"Oh, just Dumbledore. The Tantei help him… should I have told you that?" Hagrid wondered. Naruto decided to inform the others as soon as possible. He just hoped he would remember…

"By the way…" Hagrid continued, "I saw something kind of strange in the forest the other day. Of course, nothing is ordinary there, and there has been something particularly weird going on, but I just thought I saw a person the other day…"

"Person?"

"Yeah. Yellow, slit eyes. Really evil-looking. The guy was really pale, and had a huge purple rope thing, tied in a bow. Oh, yeah, and he had long black hair… Naruto?" Hagrid looked around, but the ramen-loving Griffindor was nowhere in sight.

"Huh. Wonder if he knows the guy?" Hagrid shrugged it off, and walked back toward his hut.

* * *

"Shino! Shino!" Naruto skidded to a halt, and Shino paused. 

"Hagrid said that hesawthisguyintheForbiddenForestand…" Naruto quickly explained. He switched to Japanese halfway through so he could comfortably talk faster. "… AndSasukesaidthathewas going to the Forbidden Forest so I'm going now to bring him back!" Naruto started slowing down as he ran out of breath. Shino was silent for a moment. Temari had mentioned seeing a snake in the Slytherin common room…

"'Don't be late for classes'. This is the rule." Shino said quietly. Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but Shino rolled right over him.

"We do not know how much our power has improved. Orochimaru could easily be far stronger than us, so we need everyone. It is lunch period, so we must hurry." Naruto's jaw dropped.

"I knew there would be trouble following when I heard about the snake in the common room." A voice sighed. Naruto spun, and saw Shikamaru. "We need a way to contact everyone…"

A smile lit Naruto's face, and he immediately tried to make a sign. Shino saw it coming, however, and grabbed his wrist. Naruto scowled. Feeling a little prickling sensation, he looked at his wrist to find bugs crawling over it. Naruto shoved his hands back together.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!" Naruto's started filling the hallway, and immediately dispersed in various directions. Naruto grinned (or tried to) at Shino's look.

"This place is huge." Naruto said a little shakily, as Shino gave off a _very_ displeased aura, "You don't have enough bugs to cover it all in enough time." The displeased aura seemed to become a little less oppressive. Shino let go of Naruto's wrist, and the bugs started following the Shadow Clones.

"So troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered under his breath.

* * *

Sasuke stopped at the edge of the forest, waiting. Soon, a small snake slithered out of the woods. It didn't stop as he came into view; instead it went straight to him and slithered up his arm, resting there. 

Sasuke had learned the basics of communication with snakes, way back when he had been Orochimaru's student. After becoming immortal, though, he had more than enough time to learn the intricacies of the dialect. It was the same with Naruto and frogs, and Sakura with slugs.

"**He awaits. That way.**" The little snake waved its head, and Sasuke went in the direction it indicated, jumping into a tree, then another, moving swiftly across the branches. For a moment, Sasuke wondered why he was doing this. Perhaps it was just to see someone from a time long since gone…

"**Here.**" The snake hissed. Sasuke hopped off the branch, the snake still wrapped loosely around his arm. He glanced around, and was only slightly surprised to find his former sensei, who stepped out from behind a tree.

"It's been a while, Sasuke-kun." Orochimaru remarked. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, thinking, _you have no idea_. Of course, technically Sasuke had told the others that he wouldn't go looking for Orochimaru, but that was when the only thing that would even vaguely indicate that Orochimaru was even _there_ was that curse mark on the troll. This snake had actually been coming occasionally to the common room, though obviously Sasuke didn't tell anyone about it. And so, if he had to, he could argue that _Orochimaru_ was looking for _him_, not the other way around. He probably wouldn't bother, though…

"Why are you here? Don't tell me you've survived this long on your technique alone." Sasuke asked (kind of, sort of, not really). Orochimaru smiled.

"At least I _have_ my technique. But I'm curious as to how _you're_ here." He replied softly. Sasuke scowled.

"" Somehow, even the silence seemed Japanese. Orochimaru waited for a moment, but when no answer was forthcoming, he decided to temporarily change the subject.

"I've been studying this language." Orochimaru continued casually. Sasuke's expression showed surprise for a fraction of a second before returning to indifference.

"... I see." Sasuke replied tentatively. "I suppose you'd need quite a bit of time in order to do that." He noted a slight hesitation before Orochimaru responded.

"It is a somewhat... difficult... language." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. That slight hesitation indicated that Orochimaru hadn't entirely gotten the hang of English, which meant that he had had quite a bit of time to learn to speak it semi-fluently before coming here, but not enough to be able to reply without that hesitation, short though it was. In other words, if he had a prepared answer, then no one would guess that he wasn't native (if one ignored the outfit, eyes, and various other things), but if it was something he had to come up with on a moments' notice, there would be the short amount of time he needed to mentally translate the answer.

"Quite. Now, how did you get here?" Sasuke switched to Japanese. Though, if he knew anything about Orochimaru, the sensei had probably already noticed that Sasuke had been speaking English fluently.

"A jutsu that I learned." Orochimaru replied, smiling.

"A jutsu? What does it do? Allow you to jump across time?" Sasuke asked sarcastically. Orochimaru's smile faltered slightly.

"... Actually, yes." Sasuke was rendered speechless, and he was aware that it was showing, but even as he tried to control his face, his mind blanked again from shock. It was only when Orochimaru raised an eyebrow that he finally put on the indifference again, but the damage had been done.

"I notice that you actually look younger than when we last saw each other." Orochimaru said pleasantly, "I wonder... how are you here?" Sasuke didn't reply. "I wonder if you have lived the whole time?" Sasuke remained silent, but Orochimaru noticed that his mouth tightened, and that said all he needed to hear. "I see. What about those others? Fourteen, I think there were." Sasuke became even tenser, knowing that Orochimaru was getting all the information he was looking for, but not knowing how to stop him.

"So all fifteen are... immortal?" Orochimaru was smiling widely, apparently very happy with his discovery. Sasuke twitched as he noticed just how happy Orochimaru _was_ with this discovery. Sasuke ground his teeth, and wondered if he should have come, after all. If the others found out about this...

"If you have any ounce of wisdom at all, you will stop trying to become immortal." Sasuke stated. Not that Orochimaru would listen, of course. He just wanted to end this... conversation. He turned around and walked back toward Hogwarts. Before he was halfway there, however, he felt some familiar presences.

"Oh, _g__reat_." Sasuke muttered. Naruto was the first to come out.

"Sasuke! You... you...! Where's Orochimaru!" Naruto demanded. Sakura jumped out of another tree, followed closely by the other twelve.

"I left him back there." Sasuke vaguely indicated the direction he had come from.

"Shino, Kiba, Ino, you go with Sakura and Naruto and check it out. If you find him, don't engage unless it becomes unavoidable." Shikamaru ordered. He would rather have kept Shino here, but someone needed to keep Naruto in line if they found Orochimaru, and Ino wouldn't be much help, but Shikamaru figured that she was better over there than over here. "As for you, Sasuke..." Sasuke tensed, and Shikamaru waited until Naruto and the others had left the vicinity before continuing.

"First thing, we're going back to Hogwarts." Sasuke blinked. "... Where you'll be under constant supervision (this is so troublesome...). The Sand Siblings can keep track of you in the Slytherin common room, and Slytherin classes. Other than that, Naruto, Sakura, or Ino can do it." Sasuke sighed. All the others in his House, plus one each from Griffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff...

It may or may not have been coincidence that they just happened be who they were.

* * *

(That Evening…)

* * *

A scream split through the kitchens in Hogwarts, and several house elves clustered around a large pot. One of them dipped a finger into the mixture, and tasted it. The others watched anxiously, as if expecting the taster to keel over. Or worse, declare a fault in the concoction. 

"It has not been tampered with!" This announcement brought a collective sigh of relief. One little house elf chewed its fingernails… it had personally seen that bottle crack open and spill its contents into the mixture. But then, the taster had proven that the tiny bottle of diluted alcohol hadn't altered the mixture, anyway.

* * *

Kiba looked at Akamaru, who was sniffing the pie suspiciously. He leaned close to the little white dogs ear and whispered, "You smell something?" Akamaru nosed the edge of the pie in response, and Kiba leaned farther. 

He took one sniff, and an overwhelming feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach. Trace amounts of alcohol, not even enough to be noticed by an expert cook. He could barely even catch the scent with his enhanced sense of smell. However…

The dread increased slowly, and Kiba crossed his fingers (he remembered it from some crazy American book where people did it all the time), praying that Lee would not eat any pie… or if he did, that the pie would not have the element that Kiba had just sniffed.

But of course, he had got the horrible feeling that just because he was fervently hoping against it, that exact thing would happen. He got a sinking feeling as he started having a little trouble focusing. It changed from a "rock thrown into a pool" sinking into a "rock thrown off a cliff" sinking as one eyelid drooped. He decided to retire to the common room early, and held out a faint hope that the others would notice this abnormality (the irony of "abnormality" being that everything in his life was abnormal, thus actually making abnormality a normality… he decided to cut off that train of thought before it went in too many circles).

* * *

_Naruto… I feel funny…_ Naruto blinked at his ramen, his thoughts slightly hazy. That voice was Kyuubi… 

He looked around, for what reason he had no idea, and he felt slightly inquisitive as he watched Neji fall forward. He blinked again. And again, and then blinked one eye before the other. Then the other way around…

He felt very cheerful as he continued this new game, which he decided to name "Blinking". His thoughts started to wander… to a certain cherry blossom Ravenclaw, and then to a certain Slytherin…

"Naruto? Are you okay?" Fred asked. George was busy shaking Neji.

"Hm? I feel great!" Naruto replied happily.

"… What?" Fred nearly choked.

"I _said_ I feel great! You have a problem with that?" Naruto demanded. He felt that he shouldn't have to say something twice.

"Um… never mind." Fred decided that it would be best not to ask Naruto what he had said _that_ time, because it had been said in a somewhat unfriendly tone.

"Why should anyone have problems on a youthful day like this?" Lee exclaimed, putting an arm around Naruto's shoulders. Naruto looked at him, slightly surprised, then returned the gesture.

"Ramen… is wonderful" Naruto grabbed his bowl with his free hand, and chugged it down.

"Neji! Let us fight, right here, right now!" Lee challenged, and then looked slightly confused as Neji, slumped on the table, came into focus.

"You punch like a drunken fighter!" Naruto was, amazingly enough, in tune, despite his dazed state. It took a moment for Lee to notice that Naruto had said what he said because he, Lee, had said, "Right here, right now." When he noticed, however, he laughed.

"Naruto, Lee! We should bring Neji to the Hospital Wing!" The two shinobi looked up to find Sakura, looking as though she was giving great care to standing straight. They looked at her, framed against the candlelight and night sky, then at each other, each with an arm wrapped around the other, then at Neji, obliviously slumped on the table.

The challenge was unspoken, but understood quite well.

"Be careful!" Sakura exclaimed, horrified, as Naruto grabbed Neji's ankles, Lee grabbed his wrists, and they both started running crookedly toward the exit. They slowed down after Sakura's exclamation, but Neji was still being jostled quite a bit.

Sakura sighed in shaky relief as she watched her friends depart. She had made that exclamation as much to get _them_ out of the Great Hall as she did to get Neji out. Now, she decided to make her own exit, straight to the Ravenclaw common room. Unfortunately, Kurama joined her almost as soon as she left the Great Hall.

"I wonder what was wrong with Neji?" Kurama wondered absently as he paced easily beside her. Sakura didn't respond. In this state, she didn't trust herself to respond.

"On that note," Kurama continued, "I wonder what was wrong with Naruto and Lee. They seemed a little… unsteady." Sakura's mouth tightened. This guy was persistent… and she didn't know what she might let slip in her current state. Normally she would scoff at the idea that alcohol could possibly be _contagious._ But then, if her assumptions were correct, then the alcohol itself wasn't. The effects were. And who knew what those effects could do? It was all too likely that they could make any given shinobi (or kunoichi) lose control of their thoughts and emotions. In fact, that would create a chain-reaction. And Neji was already unconscious…

But how did _that_ work? He should only have been receiving Lee's rampant emotions, not reacting the way he did to alcohol!

"And what I would really like to know…" Kurama abruptly pulled Sakura out of her wandering thoughts as he suddenly stopped. She nearly stopped with him, but immediately continued walking when she noticed that she had started slowing down. The sooner she got to the girls' common room, the better.

Kurama apparently anticipated that she would not stop. He had only done so to regain her attention, "how come you wanted them to bring Neji to the Hospital Wing?" He asked. Sakura tried to think quickly, but her thoughts were sluggish. The real reason, of course, was because she was hoping Madam Pomfrey would be able to get the alcohol out of Lee's system, but she couldn't tell Kurama that, because he didn't know about the alcohol, and the less he knew the better.

"I think Neji may have been staying up later than he should be. It's unhealthy." She desperately lied. She wanted to punch her unresponsive brain into action. Inner Sakura was trying, but it wasn't doing much good.

"Then shouldn't you have just had them bring him to the Griffindor common room?" Kurama asked, "and how would you know how late he's been staying up in the first place?"

"Naruto told me." Sakura felt very thankful that something had managed to surface in her thoughts, though it was as uncomfortable as it was useful: Kurama knew that Sakura knew Naruto and Sasuke prior to coming to Hogwarts. "He'll need an excuse to sleep in tomorrow, and that would be difficult if he wasn't hospitalized."

Kurama raised an eyebrow, but didn't press the subject any further.

* * *

"Sasuke, we're going to the common room." Hiei's ears perked as he heard Kankuro whisper. That sounded awfully suspicious… 

"Go on." Sasuke replied irritably. Hiei half closed his eyes, and slowly shifted them to watch. Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari were standing, and Sasuke was looking up at them… defiantly? What was _that_ about?

Hiei strained his ears as Temari leaned down and whispered something, but the only word he could catch was "poison". He nearly choked when Sasuke abruptly stood up and followed the other three out of the Great Hall.

* * *

Gaara dropped onto his bed, with Kankuro and Temari on adjacent beds, and clutched his head. Why did Lee have to have that reaction to alcohol, anyway? He could at least _try_ to hold his emotions back! The stupid poison was only good for drowning those blood-sucking "ticks". He snatched his hand off his forehead when a voice in his mind spoke up. 

_Gaara?_

_What?_ Gaara demanded irritably.

… _Do you like me?_

Gaara was momentarily stunned by the question, but didn't hesitate to answer: _No!_

_Well, I don't like you, either!_ Shukaku mentally shouted. _I want out! Out! Out! Out-out-out-out-out-out!_

_Shut up!_

_How about YOU shut up? I want OUT!!!_

_Too bad!_

_So sad! Let me OUT!!!_

_No!_

_OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT…_

_Why don't you just get OUT of my HEAD?!_

_Would if I could, kid! OUT-OUT-OUT-OUT!!!_

Gaara rolled over and put his pillow over his head, as if it could shut out the mental screaming.

Sasuke, close by on his own bed, put his hands behind his head. Sluggish thoughts did not impede brooding, after all.

* * *

Yusuke yawned and leaned back. Over to the side, Ino was bragging to some other Hufflepuff girls that she had known Sasuke before coming to Hogwarts. Getting a sudden idea, Yusuke wondered if she might be a ninja… 

"Say, Ino?" Ino turned to look at him.

"Yes? What do you want?"

"Are you a shinobi?" Yusuke was never known for subtlety. Ino looked offended.

"No!" She turned back to an audience of girls, thinking, _I'm a _kunoichi._ Sheesh…_

* * *

"This 'trip' is becoming more and more troublesome." Shikamaru sighed, looking at the stars. He was lying on the roof, and Shino stood nearby, to one side. Chouji was on the other side, munching chips. They had found a staircase leading to a trap door, which opened onto a flat area of the roof. 

"Well, we just came to get away from Home for a while." Chouji pointed out. Shikamaru didn't reply.

Shino gazed down at the lake. He was actually affected by Home less than the others, because being in Home caused them to enter a state of synthesis where they all thought separately, but their thoughts were the same. Which was the only difference between synthesis in Home, and synthesis outside Home, where they didn't think separately.

Though, either one caused complete indifference about anything and everything, so that they thought by pure unadulterated logic, with no real emotion to affect it. Shino was affected by this less than the others simply because he normally thought by pure logic, anyway. Naruto was affected the most; because the only times he used logic was in battle, if then. For him, everything was emotion. Then there was everyone in between, who used varying ratios of logic and emotion.

Though, of course, just because _that_ part didn't affect him as much as the others, the whole "Immortality" deal was quite damaging, psychologically speaking.

Chouji looked up at the stars, remembering when he had gotten his wand…

* * *

"_Your turn, Chouji." Shikamaru said, walking out. Chouji smiled, stuffed a few more chips into his mouth, and entered the shop. Ollivander prayed that this one would be easier than the others…_

_Which he wasn't, but Ollivander was too busy feeling grateful that Chouji hadn't further ruined his shop to notice that they went through three wands._

_When Chouji finally got a wand, it shot out little shining butterflies in all colors of the rainbow, which split to make smaller butterflies, which also split. After several splits, they flew to ceiling, like multi-colored stars. It created a beautiful effect on the floor (and the air in between) as well, as the little pinpricks of light seemed to rain color._

_They dispersed, and Ollivander sighed in relief. No damage to shop…_

_(Akimichi Chouji – Maple, Butterfly Wing, 13 in.)_

* * *

Tenten sat down irritably in the Hufflepuff girls' dormitory. She felt angry for some reason… probably a side effect from Lee. 

But the perfect way to relieve stress…

… _Is, of course, to fill something with holes through use of projectiles. It matters not whether they are sharp or blunt, large or small, adamantine or rubber, light or dark…_

Tenten went through this practiced philosophy in her mind, feeling marginally better when she finished with, "…_used for warfare, or cooking._"

Drawing her wand in a smooth motion, she used it to shatter a vase, and send the shards flying into a bedpost. After which she went to bed feeling quite calm.

* * *

"Uchiha? The last name of one of our students is Uchiha…" Dumbledore remarked, looking at a document that showed the background of one of the substitute teachers, "I wonder if you would happen to know him?" 

"I might." Came the ambiguous reply. Dumbledore jotted something down in his notes.

"It is most unfortunate that Quirrel should catch that disease. He may not be able to teach for a week. And for Snape to catch it, as well!" Dumbledore said. The statement seemed very random, and the two substitute teachers that he had had to quickly acquire (Grubbly-Plank had caught the sickness, as well) could not see any significance in the remark.

"Let's see… Kisame Hoshigake." Dumbledore addressed politely, seeming to completely forget his random remark, "until Professor Snape can return to his duties as Potions teacher, you will be filling his role." He handed a paper to Kisame, "it's very short notice, and so you will have to sign that. Now, Itachi Uchiha. Until Professor Quirrel can return to his duties as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, you will be filling his role." He handed a second paper to Itachi. "You're quite sure you're not sure you know someone else whose last name is Uchiha?"

Itachi took a moment to sort out the jumbled English before replying, "… Perhaps."

* * *

Hinata walked quietly into the bowl. She felt light-headed, and didn't feel like going to the Hufflepuff common room. So she came here… 

She looked around at the objects lying around. The instruments were all very neat and shiny, because in order to make them last through the ages, the shinobi and kunoichi had had to keep them in top condition.

Hinata took a deep breath to relax, which was really what she had come here for, after all. Closing her eyes, she allowed the tenseness to ease out of her muscles. The light-headedness seemed to fade, although Hinata realized that it would come again soon enough.

* * *

"Shh!" Fred put a finger on his lips and peeked out of the tunnel. These "ninja" must be good jumpers to get in and out of a tunnel this deep… George pulled himself up beside Fred cautiously. They watched as the Hyuuga girl… Hinata… closed her eyes and stood completely still. 

"Think it's some sort of meditation?" George whispered. Fred squinted at the girl.

"Wouldn't they sit down to meditate?" Fred wondered. He drew a sharp breath and ducked, as Hinata started moving.

"… Fred…" George breathed. Fred came up again tentatively, and his jaw dropped when he saw that Hinata was… dancing. It was almost perfectly smooth, just a little stumble every here and there. Fred realized with a start that she looked as though she was… drunk wasn't quite right… just a little less than drunk. But how could someone possibly move that smoothly when they were even _close_ to drunk?

The twins watched for a little while. The dance seemed to convey a sense of relaxation, of total ease. Almost, anyway, it was ruined by the tiny stumbles.

"Fred… let's get out." George whispered.

"Why?" Fred continued to watch Hinata.

"She's slowing down. She might stop soon." George warned. Fred looked at Hinata, who was indeed slowing down, made a little squeaking sound, and dashed up the tunnel, away from the bowl. George took only a moment to catch up. They ran faster when they heard a small voice, fading with distance.

"Who's there…?"

Fred ran straight out the tunnel, feeling very thankful that Hinata had forgotten to close the trap door. He would have rammed right into it if she hadn't (or, for that matter, if he and George had closed it behind them). He and George pelted into the trees, slowing down and panting.

Looking back, Fred saw Hinata stick her head out of tunnel. She looked around for a moment, then shook her head, and shot into the treetops. He heard some rustling as Hinata jumped across branches, leaving the area. It reminded him of a squirrel.

"Think she noticed us?" Fred asked, as he looked at the spot of ground that Hinata had... flown... from.

"No, I think she might have stopped if she noticed." George replied, though his tone indicated that he was unsure.

"Well, enough of that. Let's try this out." The twins drew their wands, and Fred continued cheerfully, "Been having a stressful day?"

George picked up immediately, "Or do you just want to make someone miss class?"

"Fear not." "For the only thing guaranteed about this charm..." "Is that it'll make you sleep, for a specific amount of time." "Got worries about that blasted alarm?" "That's okay. It's not going to wake you up, anyway."

"_Somnus!_"

They watched as the air around the trap door shimmered for a moment. It stopped, and there was no indication that the twins had been there. The charm would be activated when someone tried to leave the bowl.

"Kind of disappointing, though." Fred remarked as they walked away from the scene.

"Yeah." George agreed, "It could have at least been someone we didn't already know about!"

"It would have been priceless to see Snape dancing like that." Fred said dreamily.

"It would be the ultimate blackmail." George added.

"It's too bad we're only really sure about five of those 'ninja'. How many suspects so far?" Fred asked. George put up his fingers and started muttering names under his breath. It was a little while before he responded.

"Eighty-two. Want to narrow it down a little?" George answered. Fred grimaced, and George took it as a "Yes"

"If we narrow it down _really_ far, we're left with eight suspects." George said. Fred frowned.

"But that would mean that even if they were all ninja, we'd only get a total of thirteen." Fred lamented.

"Hey, if we can't find them all, there's always next year!"

* * *

I didn't update last week because I didn't spend enough time writing, sorry.


	31. Night time Excursions, Morning Surprise

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

(Japanese)

Neji sat quietly in the shadows of the common room. He did not require sleep yet, as he had managed to regain quite a bit of energy from being knocked out. He had Byakugan activated, and was casually looking around, though there really wasn't anything noteworthy to see.

He blinked when he heard quiet footsteps, and saw someone come into view. He momentarily deactivated Byakugan, but reactivated it when the person seemed to disappear. He could tell by the way the figure moved that it was Harry, and the cautious way he was walking meant that he was sneaking out. For a moment, Neji considered following him, but dismissed the notion when he carefully felt his energy level, and realized that he would soon be due to go to bed. He would be getting up very early, with the others, to practice in the morning.

* * *

Harry tried to breath slowly as he opened the door to the restricted section of the library, safely covered by the Invisibility Cloak. There had to be information on Nicholas Flamel _somewhere_…

Looking through the "N" section, he soon found the name, but when he set down the lamp he had taken with him and opened the book, an ugly face popped out of the page and screamed at him.

Harry struggled to close the book, thinking, _that's probably not the right one…_

"Who's there?" A voice (which Harry recognized as Filch's) demanded, "I know you're in there… you can't hide…" Harry grabbed the cloak, hurriedly put it back on (causing the lamp to fall to the floor and subsequently crash), and left the area.

"Who is it? Show yourself!"

Harry continued to hurry away, out into a corridor, but stopped abruptly when Snape and Quirrel came into view.

"Severus, I-I…" Quirrel was saying.

"You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrel." Snape said threateningly.

"W-what do you m-mean?" Quirrel stammered.

"You know perfectly well what I mean." Snape retorted. Harry started breathing quicker, and Snape was suddenly looking directly at him. Harry, realizing the mistake, starting backing away as Snape stretched out a hand toward him. Harry successfully got out of his reach, and Snape turned back to Quirrel.

"We'll have another little chat soon. Then you can decide where your loyalties lie." Snape hissed. Filch came into view, and Harry took a sharp breath, startled.

"Professors, I found this in the restricted section." Filch said gravely, holding up the lamp, "It's still hot. That means there's a student out of bed."

Snape and Quirrel looked at each other, and Harry started backing away. He stopped in surprise when two figures stepped out of the shadows.

"Excuse us for interrupting, but you wouldn't happen to know any books that mention shinobi, would you?" Kurama asked, Hiei standing next to him. Snape frowned.

"Did you have this lamp?" Filch demanded, waving said object.

"Oh, no. We wouldn't need it." Kurama replied politely, "So… I suppose you don't know any? I just wanted to make sure before checking the restricted section, because I don't think we'd have much luck there."

"No, we don't know any. I suggest you go back to bed. Students aren't supposed to be walking through corridors at night." Snape snapped. Harry blinked; why wasn't Snape subtracting points?

… And where had he heard the word "shinobi" before?

Shaking the feeling off, he backed away quickly as the group dispersed, and, quietly as he could, went through a door, closing it behind him.

He entered a room with a standing mirror. Curious, he took off the Invisibility Cloak, and stepped up to it. His eyes widened as two figures appeared in the mirror. Figures that, for some reason, he recognized.

"… Mum?" He asked quietly, hardly breathing. One of the figures in the mirror, the woman, smiled.

"… Dad?" He aimed at the other figure, a man. He smiled, and Harry reached forward. His hand met only glass.

* * *

"Ron, you've really got to see this! Ron, you've got to see this!" Harry shouted, pulling the blanket off his peacefully sleeping friend. Ron sat up groggily (he would have happily went back to sleep, if only Harry would give his blanket back…), "Ron, come on! Get out of bed!"

"Why?" Ron asked.

"There's something you've got to see!" Harry repeated, "Now come on!"

"I wanna come, too!" Naruto interrupted, sitting up on his bed abruptly. Harry blinked… that's right; Hermione had called Naruto and Sasuke "shinobi"…

"Sure…" Harry said slowly.

* * *

The three of them entered the room, Harry talking excitedly about seeing his parents. Ron looked into the mirror first. He gasped, and launched into a detailed description about what he saw. Namely, being head boy, winning the Quidditch Cup, etc.

"Harry, do you think this mirror shows the future?" Ron asked when he was done admiring himself.

"How could it? Both my parents are dead." Harry said quietly.

"I want a turn!" Naruto exclaimed, practically bouncing with excitement after Ron's narrative. Ron reluctantly stepped away, and Naruto jumped on.

And immediately jumped off.

"What did you see?" Ron asked eagerly. Naruto didn't reply, and Harry narrowed his eyes.

"Naruto?" Naruto smiled.

"Nothing! Nothing at all…" Actually, he had seen himself, with Sasuke and Sakura standing next to him, with Konoha, Kakashi, and Jiraiya in the background. In a time when he, Sasuke, and Sakura had officially been Team 7…

"Let's go back to bed now." Naruto quickly suggested. Harry and Ron looked confused, but didn't ask why he was suddenly so evasive.

* * *

"'Noteworthy Rulers of Ancient Times'. Listed chronologically… eighteen hundred years ago, sub-category: Ninja Nations." Hiei read aloud. He was rather annoyed at having been dragged along, so he decided to be as obnoxious as he could. Maybe then he could go back to bed…

"Death of the Third Hokage." Kurama froze in his own reading (he had been trying to tune out Hiei, but hadn't been having much success) and Hiei blinked. Hokage was Japanese…

"There was an interruption in the Chuunin Exam…" Hiei stopped, and decided to go back a little…

**This particular Chuunin Exam was somewhat unique. The written test alone saw far more genin pass than expected (it is interesting to note that one student passed with a blank paper). The Forest of Death, a training area, brought the number down to less than half of what it was after the written test, but hardly. It was one of the rare occasions where there had to be preliminaries before the final test (where the Chuunin would be decided).**

**It seemed like a good day for the Leaf Village, since it had five of the eight who got to the finals. The other three were from the Sand Village (there was one other who passed the preliminaries, a Sound ninja, but he disappeared before the finals). The first match went fairly well, but the second had to be postponed, because one of the contestants hadn't shown up. On the third match, one of the contestants surrendered before the match started. The fourth match went smoothly, and the missing competitor appeared in time for what was now the final match. There was an interruption in the Chuunin Exam, however, due to a sudden invasion, jointly operated by the Sand and Sound Villages, though it was later learned that Orochimaru, one of the three Sannin, had orchestrated the event (for some unknown reason, he appeared briefly in the Forest of Death, and later at the preliminaries).**

**It was a well-planned attack, and Orochimaru succeeded in assassinating the Third Hokage. He disappeared afterward, and the Sand Village and Leaf Village formed a treaty after it was learned that Orochimaru had been posing as the Kazekage in order to get close to the Hokage.**

The two demons looked at each other, questions buzzing in their heads. Kazekage? Hokage? Were these some form of rulers? Would the shinobi they were looking for recognize these terms? Would the name "Orochimaru" hold any significance for them?

But if anything was for sure, it was that the shinobi would know about this event. After all, it was notable enough to be found in Hogwarts, a continent and eighteen hundred years away.

* * *

"Back again, Harry?" Dumbledore asked, stepping out of the shadows. Harry looked up, startled. He had come back to the mirror after Ron and Naruto had gone back to bed.

"I see that you, like so many before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust, by now, you realize what it does?" Dumbledore inquired. When Harry didn't reply, he continued, "Let me give you a clue. The happiest man on Earth would look in the mirror, and see only himself, exactly as he is."

"So then, it shows us what we want. Whatever we want." Harry concluded.

"Yes. And no." Dumbledore replied, "It shows us, nothing more of less, than the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts. Now you, Harry, who have never known your family, you see them standing beside you. But remember this, Harry." He took on a cautioning tone, "This mirror gives us neither knowledge, or truth. Men have wasted away in front of it. Even gone mad. That is why tomorrow, it will be moved to a new home. And I must ask you, not to go looking for it again. It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live."

Naruto, who had been about to go back to bed, but had instead followed Harry back here, shivered. Dwell on dreams? He wished he could dream, just once more…

* * *

Next morning…

* * *

"We can't really do the song well if we don't have the right kind of voices." Temari said, looking at the little paper that said what the next song would be. Shikamaru sighed. So troublesome…

"Are you willing to synthesize, even for the short amount of time we need, to get the right voices?" He asked. Temari didn't reply.

"If we made it really fast, then there won't be any side effects." Naruto pointed out.

"Then let's have a show of hands." Shikamaru said. He didn't want to synthesize for _any_ period of time, but when it was just there and out, the choice was harder to make. The shinobi and kunoichi were somewhat picky about how well they did when playing their instruments, and Shikamaru was no exception. The music that they could create was really the only thing that had soothed them during the endless years. "Raise your hand if you're for synthesizing, keep it down if you're against." He continued. It took a couple of minutes, but after thinking it over, all fifteen had their hands raised.

"All right. Let's just do Ino and Kiba; we haven't brought the little instruments." Shikamaru said. The others nodded, and he sat down, bracing himself as if he was about to jump into a pool of ice-cold water. The others sat down as well, feeling the same way. _There and out. Just there and out._ Shikamaru thought. He took a deep breath, and released his hold on his emotions. The others did so, as well, and it seemed to create a flood that only they could know of. Three more released their emotions into flood, and synthesis was nearly finished. There was no difference between demons, humans, and dog.

The final element came into the mix: the bugs residing in Shino. This did not decrease the average intelligence. They simply seemed to melt into the mix, like a small amount of pepper in a recipe.

_There and out. Just there and out… _One area seemed to waver, becoming a piece for a fraction of a second before fusing back in. Two figures in the bowl started to shrink rapidly. They stopped, and the synthesis was shattered as everyone broke away simultaneously.

Ino and Kiba stood up, now a little shorter than before. Shikamaru sighed, they would have to go through that again before leaving the bowl; Ino and Kiba were supposed to be eleven, not slightly younger than eight.

But, the show must go on. Naruto and Sasuke commenced their pre-practice staring contest. A high-pitch music started, and Kiba and Ino picked up their microphones:

_Sousa kanashimi wo yasashisa ni!_

_Jibun rashisa wo chikara ni!_

_Mayoinagara demo ii arukidashite!_

_Mou ikkai!_

_Dareka no kitae ni zutto kotae!_

_Homerarerunoga suki–_

A sudden feeling of distortion cut them off, and the instruments abruptly stopped their harmonious music on a somewhat discordant note. The air seemed to vibrate, and the shinobi and kunoichi looked at each other, bewildered.

There was a loud sound of air displacement, and two figures suddenly appeared in the bowl. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura's mouths dropped open, and the rest of the shinobi and kunoichi looked at the two newcomers suspiciously.

"You!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing at the uninvited "guests".

"You!" Sakura gasped, pure shock causing her mind to blank.

"You!" Sasuke was confused, but he was also a little… angry.

"Do you know these two?" Ino asked. Team 7 didn't reply, and the arrivals stood up, dusting themselves off (as much as they could, at least; they were knee-deep in the ground).

"So… where are we?" Zabuza asked. He seemed tense.

"You're supposed to be dead!" Naruto shouted. Haku looked at him.

"We were. We were ferried to the realm of the dead, but apparently there was a war going on, so we had to wait before we could go farther. However, when the war ended, something happened, and Zabuza-san and I were pulled here." He replied.

"… I don't get it." Naruto said, nodding wisely.

"But you died so long ago!" Sakura said. Zabuza raised an eyebrow.

"How long ago?" He asked.

"Eighteen hundred, twenty-four years, seven months, two weeks, one day, and thirteen hours ago." Sasuke answered. Zabuza scowled.

"Don't play games. How long ago did we die?" He reiterated, irritated. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"I don't play games. You died eighteen hundred, twenty-four years, seven months, two weeks, one day, and thirteen hours ago." He retorted. He and Zabuza glared at each other. There was certainly no love lost there.

"But… how are you alive? And why are you still in your bodies?" Sakura wondered.

"It may be because we were tossed back into this world, but we did not immediately reenter the time stream. I think we regained our bodies as we reentered the world, and not just now, as we appeared." Haku speculated.

"I think I get it…" Sakura mumbled, thinking hard. There was a moment of silence, and Shikamaru spoke up.

"This is obviously going to be very troublesome." He began, drawing everyone's attention. He hated having to play his role of "Leader"… "Especially since it would seem they don't speak English, and none of us know a way to send them back"

"Kill them." Sasuke said immediately. There was a collective rising of eyebrows, and Shikamaru cleared his throat before continuing.

"… A way to send them back that would not be troublesome–"

Sasuke cut him off. "What about it would be troublesome?" He demanded, Shikamaru made a mental note that, whoever these people were, Sasuke did _not_ like them.

"Dealing with their corpses, for one." Shikamaru pointed out.

"Burn them." Sasuke promptly replied. Shikamaru let out a hissing breath of exasperation.

"I'm sure it would be all fine to kill us and burn our corpses." Zabuza cut in sarcastically, "but I'd first like to find out why we were dragged out of Spirit World, and happened to end up in a place with _you._" He aimed the last part at team 7.

"We don't know that, either." Shikamaru intervened before anyone from team 7 retorted, "but there are some people who work for Spirit World who happen to be in the area. They may or may not know why you happen to be here."

Zabuza glared, "so what are we waiting for?" He demanded. Shikamaru sighed.

"Well, there's a catch. You see, they're looking for us, and we're trying to avoid being found. Naruto and Sasuke have already been discovered, but we haven't really made any progress other than that. It's complicated, and troublesome." Shikamaru explained.

"Why are they looking for you?" Haku asked. Shikamaru avoided his gaze.

"That's something I'd rather not talk about." He replied, somewhat evasively.

Naruto decided at that moment to speak up. "We're immortal." He stated. Haku and Zabuza's expressions betrayed incredulous surprise.

"You're… immortal?" Zabuza… stuttered. He seemed completely taken aback by such an unexpected claim.

"Yes. It's not very fun." Naruto seemed to wish he hadn't just told Haku and Zabuza about the dilemma that the shinobi and kunoichi had been stuck in for nearly two millennia, but, unfortunately, what was said was said.

"That's like saying water isn't very dry." Sakura retorted, "or fire isn't very wet."

"Now that you know…" Shikamaru cut in, "It would be troublesome for you to die. Since you could then inform the authorities there, and that may cause problems. It will be troublesome to keep you here, but it would probably be best to do so until further notice."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Zabuza protested, "You expect us to believe that you're really immortal?" Shikamaru muttered under his breath something that sounded suspiciously like "Troublesome. So _troublesome_."

"All right. It's time to return Ino and Kiba to age eleven." Shikamaru announced. There were some groans, but of course everyone knew that it was coming. Shikamaru sat down, feeling slightly resentful that they hadn't finished the song. But this was taking up too much time as it was.

There were a couple of dropped jaws as Ino and Kiba rose back to eleven-year-old forms, and Zabuza seemed a little less ready to dispute Naruto's claim. He was still, however, quite skeptical.

"You two need to learn English." Shikamaru said as soon as the age transition finished. Neither of the Mist nin replied, and Shikamaru took it to mean that they would listen if he continued. So he did, "Shino can teach you. You should be able to find food in the forest, but just in case we'll see if we can get something from Hogwarts, which is a kind of school we're attending. If all else fails, Naruto can teach you a technique to summon ramen, but let's hope it doesn't come to that."

There was a moment of silence, which Zabuza broke, "I still don't believe that you're immortal." He stated, though far less confidant than he was before. Shikamaru's eye twitched.

"You don't have to. You just have to know that we're all in a mess. A big one, and it's not guaranteed that it's going to be sorted out anytime soon, or even that we'll be able to untangle ourselves anytime soon." Shikamaru informed him. "Now, let's go outside. The rest of us may or may not stay for a little while, but Shino will remain to give you your first English lesson." He took on a tone that he had learned from Shino, which put up with no argument. The _last_ thing he needed now was to get criticism for any of the decisions he had just made. Shino glanced at where Haku and Zabuza's knees disappeared into the ground and decided that instead of informing Shikamaru, and consequently increasing the already large stress level, he would solve the little problem.

Zabuza was about to complain about being partly buried, when he felt the ground shift slightly. Looking down, his eyes widened at the sight of a horde of insects shifting pounds of dirt, and creating a steadily increasing mound around him and Haku.

He tentatively stepped out of his little hole, and Haku, beside him, did the same. Looking at Shino, he got the strange, uncomfortable feeling that he should be hearing knuckles cracking, and the fact that he didn't made it all the more ominous.

The thing was, no one made it out the door. As soon as Shikamaru had taken one step from the main dome into the tunnel, all current inhabitants of the bowl distinctly felt something activate, and they were all simultaneously knocked out cold.

* * *

By the way, I don't own "Kanashimi wo Yasashisa ni".

I was going to go farther than that, but decided to save it for next week when it got past 6000 words, and I was still far from finishing. Sorry about the cliffhanger…


	32. Twisted Dream

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

_Naruto opened his eyes slowly. He felt very… strange. It almost felt like he was sleeping, but… not quite. He stood up, but felt as though his muscles hadn't moved at all. He looked around, and saw the others standing up. It seemed as though they blurred slightly as they moved; yet there was hardly any motion as they stood up._

_Not only that, but they were in outfits they had been in just before the chuunin exam…_

"_What happened?" Kiba wondered, "Where are we?" He put a hand on his head, looking slightly disoriented. It seemed blurred at first, but then resolved into sharp image. Wait… image? Naruto looked around, and noticed that all fifteen present were… chibi. He could find no better word for it. And… they were in a playpen, in a very colorful room with one door, and a few windows._

"_I'd say a dream." Neji remarked, "but that couldn't be possible." Naruto raised an eyebrow. If it was a dream…_

"_I wonder if Kakashi-sensei might be here?" He said quietly, thinking hard about his gray-haired former teacher. No sooner had he spoken than the door opened, and the one and only Scarecrow entered the room, book and all._

_The shinobi and kunoichi gasped, including Naruto. He hadn't thought it would actually _work_. He, like the others, had thought that a dream would be impossible._

"_H-how?" Ino gasped. "… Would that mean…?"_

"_What about Gai-sensei?" Lee asked. A window shattered, and the Beautiful Green Beast himself slid to a halt on the colorful carpet, shining his tooth at the fifteen chibi. "Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted, tears in his now cute little eyes._

"_All right, kids! Playtime's over!" Gai said._

_Several shinobi twitched, "… kids…?"_

"_First class of the day. Ninjutsu." Kakashi said. Gai gave everyone a thumbs-up._

"_I'll leave that to you!" Said Gai, and he exited the room by means of destruction on the only door. Kakashi sighed, and absently flipped a page in his book._

"_Before you can leave this room, you have to successfully use ninjutsu on me." Kakashi said quietly. Somehow, the fifteen knew what he was thinking: _I'd better take it really easy on them, since they're just babies.

_Several eyebrows twitched, and then raised as Kakashi suddenly sat down, in a pose that looked suspiciously like Shikamaru's. Ino and Chouji were the first to look down, and notice the shadow, which led right to the mentioned deer boy. Needless to say, they didn't take long to fulfill Kakashi's requirement, and walk tentatively through the door, leaving the poor sensei lying on the floor, with nothing to really indicate that he was alive. It made Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura feel somewhat uncomfortable, because even though they really didn't like their sensei much, his familiar face (hidden though it was) had been very comforting to see after over a thousand years not seeing him._

_The room they came into had an aquarium, and several cages of varying shapes, sizes, and inhabitants. Unfortunately, they couldn't see a door (the one that they had just come through disappeared behind them)._

_Until, of course, a piece of the floor seemed to lift. Kurenai climbed out of the new hole in the ground._

"_It's time to learn how to care for pets." Kurenai announced, "We're going to learn how to take care of three kinds of pets today, and you will be required to take care of them through the rest of the classes. Here's the first one, it should be simple enough." She brought forth a chibi Akamaru, who seemed a little scared, but brightened when Kiba came into view. He barked joyfully, and wriggled out of Kurenai's arms, running over to Kiba._

_Kiba picked him up happily, apparently feeling much better about this whole scenario now._

"_Remember that dogs are carnivores. Their teeth are meant for tearing into their food." Kurenai said. "They are fairly easy to take care of, but require all of your attention. Now, it seems you already know how to take care of him, how about something a little harder?" The fifteen looked at her, confused._

"_Let's start with a mutant raccoon." Kurenai stepped toward a wall, and pulled on it, dragging it to the left. She put her hands into the strange compartment, and dragged out a four-foot tall, chibi Shukaku. He fought for every inch, but apparently he was somewhat weak in this… dream._

"_This one is particularly unfriendly. Let's see how you handle him." Kurenai said, letting go of Shukaku, who immediately ran behind Gaara and crouched down, his hands on his head. Even though they were both chibi, however, Shukaku was still much, much larger than Gaara, and looked pretty absurd crouching behind him._

"_I _hate_ dreams!" Shukaku whined, "Hide me from her! She _petted_ me!" Kurenai raised an eyebrow._

"_Well, you must get along pretty well with animals if that one doesn't attack you. But, there's still one more, which is even more vicious than that one." She glanced at the shivering Shukaku, and decided to reword that a little, "Well, more vicious than that one was when he first arrived." She grabbed a little tassel hanging from the ceiling that hadn't been there a moment before and tugged on it slightly. There was a grinding sound and a part of the floor slid open, revealing a dark, damp stairway leading downward._

_Kurenai went calmly to the hole, and stood at the entrance. There was a growling sound from inside, and a flash of red as something dashed out._

"_You're here, too?!" Naruto screamed as the blur resolved into a four-foot tall chibi Kyuubi. Kyuubi glared at him._

"_It's not as if I had a choice!" He snapped, "Now how do we get out of this… this… dream?!"_

"_Don't yell at animals. It gives the wrong impression." Kurenai scolded. Naruto didn't think that he was giving the wrong impression at all, and Kyuubi felt similarly. They both glared at Kurenai, and she folded her arms, and continued, "I deem you worthy to continue to the next class." She disappeared._

_The now eighteen (this includes Akamaru) looked apprehensively at the trap door the Kurenai had first come through. It was the only exit. Shukaku's room was small, and now empty, and Kyuubi's was a dead end, as well. So eventually they went to the trap door, and looked down. Inside was a slide._

_Naruto decided to go first, since it didn't look as though anyone else was going to volunteer. He gripped one curved side with both hands, since he couldn't reach across to the other, and maneuvered himself slowly into the tunnel. After the only things keeping him from sliding were his hands, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let go._

_Wind rushed in his face as he rapidly descended through the slide, and he let out an exhilarated yell. He glanced behind once, and was able to make Shukaku, looking downright terrified, just before the light disappeared completely. He felt the weighty bijuu bump into him, and push him even faster. Then he heard a munching sound, slowly but surely getting closer._

"_Chouji?" Naruto asked. There was no break in the munching as a reply came to him from the blackness._

"_That you, Naruto?" It was Chouji. Naruto grinned._

"_Yeah! THIS IS FUN!!!" Naruto screamed._

"_Yeah!" Chouji was getting ahead of him now, sliding between Shukaku and the wall and rotating slowly as he munched on his chips. Somehow Naruto knew the little details, even though he couldn't see anything, but the only thing he cared about at the moment was that Chouji was getting ahead of him._

"_Hey! Shukaku! Can't you go faster?!" Naruto demanded._

"_Are you demented or something?!" Shukaku shot back, "We might as well be _falling_ with how fast we're going!"_

"_Not quite that fast." Came a calm growl, and Kyuubi went sliding past, looking quite relaxed. Almost, anyway, he couldn't go through the gap between Shukaku and the wall, so instead he just bumped into Shukaku and they went faster._

_Soon Chouji was back in sight, and Naruto leaned forward, exhilarated._

_Chouji came closer and closer, until he was sitting next to Naruto, being pushed by the bijuu._

_A spark of light appeared at the end of the tunnel, growing fast. Naruto lifted his over-sized chibi head to catch the rest of the rushing wind before they flew out of the slide._

_Kyuubi and Shukaku immediately dropped to the floor, but Naruto and Chouji went flying into the room, where they landed on a swing set. Naruto was dazed for a moment, but when no one else appeared, he started swinging. Kyuubi and Shukaku detangled themselves from each other and growled at each other before pointedly looking away._

_Chouji munched on his ever-present chips._

_Naruto looked around the room. It was like an indoor playground, with the swing set, a sandbox, some tire swings… _

_A scream came from the slide, and Hinata fell out. She took a moment to stand up, look around, and walk slowly away from Kyuubi and Shukaku. She looked around indecisively._

"_Hinata! Over here!" Naruto called, waving. Hinata came over slowly and sat on one of the swings. Soon Lee came out of the slide, feet first, and landed with a resounding crash on the carpeted floor. He took one look around the room, and went straight to a little hopscotch area._

_Gaara came next, followed closely by Kankuro and Temari. Gaara went to the sandbox, but Temari and Kankuro decided to go to a little tic-tac-toe board._

_Then came a train with Neji, Tenten, Kiba, and Akamaru (in that order), who all landed in a heap with Akamaru on top, and Neji on bottom. Akamaru hopped off, Kiba rolled off, Tenten rolled off, and Neji gasped for breath._

_Akamaru and Kiba went to the tire swings, Tenten went to the monkey bars, and Neji attempted to get up, but was instantly crushed by Sasuke, who was followed very closely by Sakura and Ino, who landed on top of both of them._

_Neji opened his mouth to catch some elusive oxygen, and grabbed the carpet to try and pull himself out from under the other three. Sasuke, above him, couldn't reach the carpet, and so attempted to push off Sakura and Ino. Sakura and Ino looked down, and immediately scrambled off. Sasuke rolled off, and stood up, glaring at the two kunoichi, who immediately tried to find something to do. They decided to go to a trampoline (and see who could jump the highest), and Sasuke went to a corner and sat down._

_Neji once again tried to stand up, noticing that his bones felt quite thoroughly crushed, when he heard someone else coming down. Thankfully, it was Shikamaru, who managed to land standing up, with one foot on either side of Neji. Shino, coming next, did the same, and Shikamaru went to the swing next to Chouji, while Shino simply walked around to the side of the exit of the slide, and stood there._

_Neji, seeing that everyone was there, so there wouldn't be any more coming down the slide, decided to just lay there._

_Unfortunately, one more came down the slide, with a shout of "Dynamic Entry!" Neji's eyes widened momentarily, and he went completely stiff as Gai shot out of the slide, shattering the exit of the slide with his fists, and landing with both feet on Neji. Naruto half-expected to hear a cracking sound from Neji's bones due to the weight. He was, after all, chibi, and Gai wasn't._

_Gai, however, noticed that he was standing on Neji, and stepped off at once. He tried to pick up Neji, and set him on his feet, but as soon as he let go, Neji simply fell back to the floor. Naruto wondered if Gai actually _had_broken Neji's back._

_Naruto let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding when he saw Neji's fists clench, and move back. Neji managed to get onto his hands and knees, and crawl away from the slide._

_Gai also seemed quite relieved. "All right! Time for exercise, kids!" He announced, "you can proceed to the next class after you have gone through the obstacle course!" He snapped his fingers, and the various playground items disappeared, to be replaced by an obstacle course._

"_Rule number 1! Don't destroy anything in the obstacle course! Rule number 2! Don't knock anything over in the obstacle course! Also, if you break rule one, rule two, or don't finish the obstacle course within the time limit, you will be given another challenge!" Gai explained, "Now, go!" Naruto and Lee promptly started going through the obstacle course, freely destroying and/or knocking down all obstructions. The others looked at each other, and Neji didn't budge from his spot on the floor. If his bones seemed crushed before, they felt flattened now…_

"_Time's up!" Gai said. Lee and Naruto stood, huffing, at the end of what used to be an obstacle course. No one else had moved from their sitting, standing, or lying positions. Gai looked at them._

"_You've broken rules one and two, and most of you haven't finished the obstacle course within the specified time." Kiba looked at him, thinking, _Naruto and Lee didn't leave much to finish…_ "… So you will have to finish the next challenge within ten seconds, and you will be able to go to the next class. Now, the challenge… run straight up the wall, and stop when you reach the ceiling._

"_Ready… set… _go!_" Gai pulled a gun out of thin air and shot it, "don't worry, anyone who can't finish will get a brand new pair of this!" Gai held up some green spandex, which flapped in a non-existent wind. Naruto and Lee, already at the ceiling, wondered if it was too late to come down._

_Five seconds had already passed, but the rest of the shinobi and kunoichi, plus two demons and a dog, were at the ceiling in three seconds (except for Neji; he took four)._

"_Good job! Now, if you _want_ this, you still have time to get it!" Gai announced, presenting the spandex, "All you have to do is beat me in a grunting contest!" Several chibi who had tensed when he said, "you still have time to get it" relaxed. A few sighed in relief, and Gai looked at them._

"_That was pathetic! Remember, start from the back of the throat!" He demonstrated, and Naruto and Lee felt their hope diminish. However, they were never ones to consider that all hope might be lost, so they went at it with a vengeance. Starting from the back of the throat, of course._

_As loud grunting filled the room, Chouji decided to go back to the floor. Shikamaru followed, and then the rest came down, Neji plopping back into his previous prone position, in the hope that his limbs might recover. Naruto and Lee were the last to come down, grunting thunderously the whole way._

"_It's time for your next class!" Gai said abruptly, pointing toward a door, "You did great." He added to Naruto and Lee, who looked crestfallen, but brightened at the praise._

_The door opened. When no one immediately moved toward it, Tenten decided to go. The others followed._

_As soon as everyone was inside, the door shut behind them, and another one, on the other side of the room, opened. Itachi stepped into the room, and Sasuke made a feral sound. Even though he knew it was a dream, the anger that had been forcibly frozen and preserved for nearly two millennia started to melt through its cold prison._

_Itachi didn't seem to notice, and pointed toward a line of targets sitting against the wall, "the objective of this class is to hit those targets…" he held up a kunai, "… with one of these." Naruto felt a kunai appear in his hand, and he looked down at it. And then looked up when he heard something flying through the air. Sasuke had just thrown his own kunai at Itachi, who merely caught it, went to Sasuke, and gave it back._

_Several chibi blinked, and Naruto got the sinking feeling that they were going to be here for a very long time…_

_After a moment of silence where Sasuke glared at Itachi, the other seventeen threw their kunai at targets. Most hit the bull's-eye, but Akamaru's missed entirely, so that there were two targets left without kunai stuck in them. Itachi walked calmly to the kunai lying on the ground, picked it up, and gave it to Akamaru, who barked and tried again, though it took several tries for him to hit, because kunai weren't made for paws. In the meantime, every time Itachi returned Sasuke's kunai to him, he just threw it back again, or tried to stab Itachi with it. It seemed to go in a never-ending cycle, and the other seventeen eventually just sat down and watched, most wondering what Sasuke was trying to accomplish._

_Naruto then realized that he was the only one who knew anything about Sasuke and Itachi's relationship. It might have helped if he knew more than that Itachi was Sasuke's older brother, and Sasuke wanted to kill him for some reason…_

"_Sasuke… he's not real. This is a dream, remember?" Naruto reminded. Sasuke, again holding his kunai, gripped the projectile tightly._

"_Of course I remember, _idiot!_" On the last word, he angrily hurled the kunai at the vacant target, deeply embedding it._

_Naruto was about to retort, but then decided to save it for after they got to the next room. Which, thankfully, didn't take long._

_Itachi simply nodded toward the door he had come in through, and disappeared. Most of the chibi went immediately, though Naruto and Sasuke lagged behind a little, Sasuke because this little… event…had done a little psychological damage, and Naruto because a somewhat disturbing image had superimposed itself on his vision for a fraction of a moment._

He was trying to save Gaara, but Itachi suddenly appeared… now he was caught in a genjutsu… Gaara could be dying by now…

_But… Naruto couldn't remember anything like that. They were in a dream, and Gaara was here, not dying. And the only time he had seen Itachi; he hadn't been caught in a genjutsu. Not only those, but Kakashi and Sakura were there, too, in the… memory? It made no sense…_

"_Hello, everyone." Asuma greeted. Naruto looked up quickly. He had gotten lost in his thoughts… in a dream. "In this class, we're going to be practicing art." Asuma gestured toward shelves filled mostly with puzzles, but also had colored pencils, paper, pens, crayons, etc._

_Ino put her head in her hands, muttering, "I don't think I can take much more of this." Naruto felt the same way. It almost seemed like too much, to see all these faces again after eighteen hundred years, and yet know that it was a dream, and that he would wake up. Or would he wake up? It would almost be nice, just to dream forever…_

"_Everyone is going to put together a puzzle. After every puzzle has been put together, you may move on. Of course, it would be too much to ask to try to _keep_ all the puzzles together." Several shinobi and kunoichi exchanged glances. That sounded ominous… Asuma took a large stack off the shelf and handed an eight-piece puzzle (board to fit the pieces in and everything) to everyone. Akamaru and Kiba shared one._

"_You all can do yours over there." Asuma pointed toward five tables, with three seats each. Each seat had a label with a name on it. Naruto didn't feel quite so willing to dream forever when he saw that he was going to be sitting with Sakura and Sasuke, and that Chouji, Ino, and Shikamaru were going to be sitting together… and then Kiba (with Akamaru), Hinata, and Shino… basically, they were divided by teams._

"_You two can sit on the floor." Asuma directed, talking to Shukaku and Kyuubi. They both growled at him, but didn't try to fight. Asuma handed everyone a puzzle, and they sat down._

_Naruto absently picked up a puzzle piece, and put it in the board. Then another… and another…_

_As the puzzle came together, Naruto saw a picture of himself, with one foot on Sasuke, who was lying down. He was doing the victory sign with one hand, and holding a bowl of ramen in the other. And Sakura was next to him, looking at him adoringly. There was a crowd in the background (Kakashi stood out in it), cheering. Perhaps dreaming forever wouldn't be so bad, after all…_

_That thought rapidly changed, as the picture on the puzzle did the same. Naruto and Sasuke's positions swapped (though Sasuke didn't do the victory sign), and the bowl of ramen fell, and crashed. Naruto looked away from his puzzle, and was just in time to see Sasuke's change._

_It started out with Itachi in a very morbid position, with several weapons sticking in him, Sasuke in the front of the picture, and some people that Naruto didn't recognize. And the only things about the scene that he recognized were the pictures of red and white fans on the lanterns (though it was hard to recognize even those, since the picture seemed to have a red haze). It changed, and Itachi was standing, unharmed. Everyone else in the scene fell (most bleeding) except for Sasuke, who was suddenly in child form, looking quite distraught._

_Sasuke (not the one in the picture) grabbed the edges of the puzzle, and flipped it over, slamming it on the table. Naruto turned his gaze to Sakura's puzzle, and saw that she was putting it together very slowly. Apparently she had seen Naruto and Sasuke's, and was somewhat reluctant to finish her own. She held the last piece, obviously debating whether or not to put it in. From what was already in, Naruto could see a picture of Sakura, in a wedding dress, with Sasuke next to her, the groom. Naruto was the best man, smiling brightly._

_Sakura braced herself, and put in the last piece. It seemed as though the puzzle was waiting for it, and changed almost before the piece was done sliding into place. The groom turned into Naruto, and Sasuke was nowhere to be seen._

_Sakura bit her lip as she looked at the picture, which had reflected not only surface feelings, such as the wish for Sasuke to return her feelings, but also the subtler wish that Naruto and Sasuke wouldn't fight. Naruto, as the best man in the first scene, would have indicated that he and Sasuke would have resolved their differences. The distinct lack of a best man in the second picture meant the exact opposite._

_Over at another table, Ino gasped in horror as the picture of Sasuke holding her, bridal style, changed. He dropped her, in a puddle of mud, and she abruptly became fat. Chouji, next to her, grunted disconcertedly as the picture of him sitting on a huge pile of junk food with Shikamaru changed. He (looking quite skeletal) was suddenly standing in front of the pile, which was burning. Shikamaru wasn't in the picture._

_Shikamaru choked as his own picture, showing him and Chouji eating chips and looking at clouds, with Asuma and Konoha in the background, changed. The clouds, Asuma, and Chouji disappeared. Konoha was burning, and he was simply staring at it._

_Kiba sucked in a sharp breath. The picture had started with him, Akamaru, Shino, and Hinata, just hanging out (well, Kiba was the only one who looked like he was hanging out, but Shino was Shino, and Hinata was Hinata, so that was no surprise), with Kurenai in the background. It distorted, and became a scene with darkness in the background, and Shino, Hinata, and Kurenai lying down, evidently dead._

_Hinata made a whimpering sound as her picture, which showed Naruto hugging her, changed to show him, apparently with his last breath, stabbing her. She clutched her chest, as it seemed to constrict. The suffocating sensation disappeared, and Hinata gasped, close to tears._

_Shino twitched as his picture, which had shown him simply surrounded by hordes of bugs to hide everything around him, changed. The bugs fell, dead, leaving the ground completely black. As they fell, they revealed Kurenai, Kiba, Akamaru, and Hinata, who were dead, as well._

_Tenten smiled at her picture, which showed her holding two scrolls, surrounded by weapons of every shape, size, use, and general appearance. No one weapon was featured twice. The smile was wiped off when the weapons seemed to reverse direction, instead of flying out from her; they all went right toward her. Tenten was trembling as, in the scene, the weapons froze just as they were about to embed themselves in her. In the scene, only one of the weapons seemed to reach her, a sword, which barely touched her forehead. Tenten reached a hand to her own forehead, and her eyes widened at the single drop of blood on her hand._

_Lee grinned. His picture showed him standing on Neji, and, less importantly, Sasuke. Gai was next to him. They were both shining their teeth, and giving a thumbs-up, each. The grin disappeared with Gai, as he was suddenly no longer in the picture. Sasuke faded into the background, looking bored and slightly irritated. Lee was on the ground, and Neji was looking down at him, impatient, as if he was dealing with a stubborn child. Lee stared at the picture. How could something so beautiful be so quickly and easily tainted…?_

_Neji's first picture showed him standing with Tenten and Lee, in front of Konoha, smiling. It changed slowly, warping the scene into a picture of a mirror, which seemed to be pointing to another, identical, mirror, creating an infinite reflection, going on and on, forever… never-ending…_

Inescapable…

_Neji tore his eyes away from the picture, and flipped the board so he wouldn't be caught in the optical illusion again._

_Temari felt as though she couldn't breath as the picture that had had her, Kankuro, and Gaara standing together with Baki in front of Suna, changed. A tornado appeared in the background, and while the others faded until they disappeared, Temari was in the air. She became a little dot, a scene frozen in place just before her death._

_Kankuro blinked, as his picture suddenly seemed to become fluid. What had at first been him, with Temari, Gaara, and his puppets… shifted. Temari and Gaara slid to the sides, and the puppets broke. In slow motion, the pieces of the puppets reassembled into hundreds of puppets, which swarmed into Suna. The roofs in Suna, which could be made out in the background, seemed to crumble. In the end, the picture stopped again in a silent scene, where the only thing that could be easily made out through the clouds of dust was Kankuro. And the only thing that had changed about him was that he looked… anguished._

_Gaara pushed his puzzle away from him. What had started out as he, Temari, and Kankuro, with Shukaku in the background (distinctly not in Gaara) had turned into just Gaara, half-transformed to Shukaku. A cruel reminder that, despite them being separate in this dream, Shukaku was still locked in Gaara for the rest of his life._

_Meanwhile, the only ones having trouble with their puzzles were the bijuu._

"_Ugh! Stupid human contraption!" Shukaku griped, trying to hammer a piece into place. It was his sixth piece, but the others were just a scattered mess on the board, "How does this thing work, anyway!?"_

"_You're supposed to put the pieces in a position where they'll fit with the other pieces." Kyuubi explained. He had gotten in five pieces, where they were supposed to go on the board. His problem was picking up the pieces and putting them into place without dropping them, rather than finding where they were supposed to go. He sang a mental song of victory as he managed to get another piece into place._

"_In what position are these supposed to fit together!?" Shukaku demanded, repeatedly slamming his board, in an attempt to make the pieces fall into place._

"_Use your brain!" Kyuubi retorted as another piece slipped through his claws._

_Shukaku growled, grabbed the pieces, and tossed them back on the board. He blinked when he noticed that the sides of two pieces fit together, and it clicked in his mind, how this whole thing worked. Sliding the two pieces to their place on the board, Shukaku grabbed the rest of the pieces and assembled them in a matter of seconds._

_He smirked exultantly at the picture that resulted: he and Gaara, standing separately. The smirk faded as the two of them slid along the picture, blurring as they fused, and resolving into a half-transformed Gaara, the exact same scene that Gaara's ended up in. Not that Shukaku knew that._

"_Stupid! Human! Contraption!" Shukaku punctuated each word by slamming the puzzle. Kyuubi, meanwhile, finally finished his own puzzle._

_It started as simply showing Kyuubi sitting, proudly majestic, in a burning forest. When it changed, the sky darkened, and another figure appeared. The view of the scene suddenly seemed to move, as if zooming in, toward the figure. Kyuubi growled deep in his throat as the figure came into focus. He was standing atop a frog… blond, spiky hair…_

… _The Yondaime…_

_Kyuubi swiped a claw at the puzzle, and sent it flying to crash into the wall._

"_Alright. That's everyone, you may go to the next class now." Asuma announced._

* * *

Haku sat up, rubbing his forehead. He had been having a dream, but he couldn't remember what it was. Zabuza, next to him, was also sitting up. None of the others were getting up yet. 

"Zabuza-san… do you think we should wake them up?" Haku asked. Zabuza shook his head.

"No. We can wait for them to wake up on their own… what's this?" He had stood up and walked closer to the sleeping group. He was now crouched beside one of the girls, brushing her bangs off her forehead to look at something. Haku walked over and crouched next to him.

"A small wound. It barely broke the skin." He observed, looking at the tiny prick in the exact center of her forehead, "But… it wasn't there before."

"It looks like there's something wrong with that one, as well." Zabuza remarked, pointing toward another kunoichi, who looked as though she was having trouble breathing.

"And it seems as though a few bones are broken here." Haku added, kneeling next to a shinobi. He and Zabuza exchanged glances, both getting slightly nervous.

* * *

"_Hello!" Iruka greeted cheerfully, waving a paper, "we're going to have a test, and then you'll move on to the final challenge." He waved around the room, where there three neat rows of desks, with five desks in each row. "The pets won't be participating." He continued, waving dismissively at Kyuubi, Shukaku, and Akamaru. The bijuu considered trying to kill him, but they had been put in temporary shock after seeing the twisted pictures on their puzzles, so instead they settled down to wait for this dream to end._

"_Are we going to wake up after this 'final challenge'?" Shikamaru asked, irritated._

"_You need to focus more, Shikamaru. Just please don't fall asleep for this test." Iruka replied evasively. Shikamaru mumbled something that sounded like "how do you fall asleep in a _dream?_"_

"_Now…" Iruka changed the subject, "To make sure there's no cheating, we're going to bring in the teachers you've all worked with, plus a few more." A door on the side of the room opened, and Kakashi, Kurenai, Gai, Itachi, and Asuma walked out, in that order. After them, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru came in, followed by Kisame… and two others in black robes with red clouds that Naruto was sure he had never seen before, and yet recognized as Deidara and Sasori._

"_Please take your seats." Iruka requested, putting sheets of paper on the desks that the fifteen sat at. When everyone except for Iruka and Gai were seated, Iruka continued, "Gai is going to remain here, to offer visual encouragement. I will be going to finish preparations for the final class." Iruka left the room through the door that the senseis had come through._

"_All right, everyone! Ready… set… go!" Gai shouted. He settled back and shined his tooth at them, though, unlike other times, the shine didn't disappear. His tooth just kept sparkling._

_Sakura looked away, and glanced at Naruto's paper; he was sitting directly in front of her. Her eyes widened at the kinds of questions she saw, and looked back at her paper. The first question: - _What would it take to get Naruto and Sasuke to get along? -

_She looked at the next question, and gripped her pencil nervously: - _Whom would Sasuke invite to walk with him? - _Well, that one was easy…_

No one.

_Naruto looked at his questions. Now _this_ was a type of test he could grow to like… - _How many Shadow Clones does it take to defeat Lee? -… _Well, he wasn't sure about that… next question!_

_-_ How many Shadow Clones does it take to defeat Neji? - _Not nearly so hard…_

5

- How many Shadow Clones does it take to defeat Sasuke? - _………_

N/A

_Sasuke scanned the questions, eye twitching. _– What is the name of the special type of Sharingan that Itachi possesses? –_Sasuke practically gouged the paper as he wrote the answer:_Mangekyou.

- What did Itachi do before leaving Konoha? – _Sasuke made a feral sound, similar to the one he had made during target practice._

* * *

"I never thought it would be possible to let off murderous intent while you were asleep." Zabuza commented, looking at Sasuke, "Maybe I should try it sometime…" 

"It would take a lot of practice, Zabuza-san." Haku said. Zabuza smiled.

"But it would certainly be worth it…"

* * *

_As each of the fifteen finished, Gai went to collect their papers, his shining tooth never wavering. He seemed to take only an instant to pick up a red pencil from the desk at the front of the room and circle a few answers on each paper. As soon as he was done, he dropped the papers onto the desk and announced:_

"_You pass!" Shukaku and Kyuubi, the only ones who had actually gotten tense (it's not as if either one had any faith in their jinchuuriki, let alone the others) relaxed, and Iruka reentered the room._

"_If you will follow me, you may proceed to the final class." Iruka said. The chibi stood up, and followed him. He stopped a little way inside the room, and the chibi stopped, as well._

_Iruka snapped his fingers, and the dark room lit up. A huge paper rolled out on the floor, and several over-sized coloring utensils fell from upright positions to the floor. "There is still a decision that has to made about the challenge. If you will wait here, and feel free to use these…" he indicated the utensils, "… I'll be back. Also, I will tell you here, there can be only one winner of this contest. Whoever wins may possibly get one wish granted." A door opened, and Izumo poked his head into the room. When he saw Iruka, he made a beckoning gesture. Iruka immediately bid the eighteen goodbye and followed Izumo._

_There was silence for a moment, before Neji, apparently still quite sore, walked stiffly toward the wall and sat down. Shino walked away from the group to stand in a corner. These movements seemed to break the tension. Naruto immediately went to the stack of coloring utensils, and picked out a bucket of paint. Walking to the paper, he dumped the contents onto the blank sheet. Hinata came forward slowly and picked up a crayon, sliding it along the clear part of the paper to leave a trail of purple._

_Soon Sakura, Ino, Chouji, and Lee had joined in. The rest settled down to watch, though eventually Shukaku and Kyuubi decided to try coloring, as well._

_Shino, standing next to the door, thought he heard something. He leaned farther back, to see if he could catch something…_

"_How dare you?! My beautiful Lee!" Shino scooted back until he was pressed against the wall. That voice was Gai…_

"_Look, Gai, we're not saying he's not cute or anything…" Kakashi tried to soothe, but Shino could tell by an audible flaring of nostrils that Gai was not pacified._

"_You would disqualify him?!" Gai demanded. Shino got the sudden feeling that he didn't want to know what they were arguing about. But curiosity drew him on…_

"_We're not disqualifying him…" Kurenai argued._

"_We've decided the winner." Kotetsu hurriedly interjected, and Shino's eyes widened behind his glasses. Winner…? Would that mean…?_

_The door opened, but Shino didn't move. Even twitching could give away that he had been eavesdropping. This was a dream, but it was a horribly distorted dream. Who knew what could happen?_

_Izumo and Kotetsu entered the room, and the eighteen fell silent._

"_We've decided a winner." Kotetsu announced. Several chibi eyes widened._

"_What about the contest?" Sakura demanded._

"_It is being concluded. The contest was to see who would be the cutest." Izumo explained._

"_W-what?" Kiba stuttered._

"_Now, the bijuu dropped off the list entirely, and we have it down to fifteenth place. Unfortunately, Akamaru could not make it." Kotetsu said. Kiba sputtered angrily, no doubt considering Akamaru to be cuter than everyone else put together._

"_We decided to divide this into three categories. Each one has five places. One person from each team was selected for each category." Izumo added._

"_Fifteenth place is Kankuro." Kotetsu stated, looking at the list, "fourteenth is Shino."_

"_Thirteenth is Sasuke, and twelfth is Tenten." Izumo continued._

"_Eleventh is Shikamaru. That's the third category. Tenth place is Chouji."_

"_Ninth is Lee, and eighth is Gaara."_

"_Seventh is Kiba, and sixth is Sakura. That's the second category."_

"_Fifth is Ino, and fourth is Neji."_

"_Third is Naruto, and second is Temari."_

"_First place is Hinata!" They finished together._

_Hinata would have fainted if the dream allowed it, but it didn't. So she just stood there, swaying unsteadily._

"_Good job, Hinata!" Naruto congratulated. Hinata fervently wished she could just faint…_

"_Can we wake up now?" Shikamaru asked. Izumo smiled creepily._

"_Not yet. First Hinata has to audibly state her wish." Kotetsu almost seemed to be laughing, and Shikamaru got a sinking feeling._

* * *

_Days later…_

* * *

"_I'm hungry." Chouji mumbled. He had run out of chips long ago._

"_Me too." Naruto grumbled. He had tried summoning ramen several times, but it never worked. Hinata still hadn't stated her wish._

_Shikamaru decided that this was even worse than the puzzles…_

_Hinata had been trying to say something the whole time, and had gotten plenty of encouragement (a.k.a, pressure) from everyone else, but what she was trying to say was never audible. Neji's condition, which wasn't good to begin with, had started to deteriorate, though only a few noticed. And he wasn't the only one. Everyone was suffering from lack of food, and the more pressure put on Hinata, the less understandable she became._

_Then, finally, Izumo crept up behind her, and put a microphone just out of her peripheral vision. Naruto, who hadn't noticed, was quite fed up with not being fed, and finally snapped._

"_Come on, Hinata! Anything! I don't care what it is, just say it so we can get out of here!" Sakura hit him._

"_No one cares what _you_ think!"_

_Hinata didn't seem to notice Sakura; she had eyes only for Naruto. Taking a deep, trembling breath, she let it out in words that would not be audible without the microphone. Izumo grinned, and disappeared along with everything else…_

* * *

I'm definitely getting better with names…

An entire chapter dedicated to a dream… I wouldn't have ended it there, but it was kind of big to fit into another chapter.

Now that I think about it, Haku and Zabuza are going to be a pain to write. Haku shouldn't be _too_ hard, because the arc was long enough to get a fair idea of his general personality (kind of…), but Zabuza had that last-minute change in attitude, thus complicating things quite a bit.

Either way, all characters on all anime(s) are psycho. Please wait patiently for next week, where I'll kill myself if I end it on a cliffhanger again (because I am not severely depressed, you may be assured that the next chapter will not end on a cliffhanger).


	33. Bad Day For Neji, Books Of Good And Bad

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Naruto gasped and sat up on the grass. Free! Free from the horrible dream! He joyously bit his finger, and slapped the ground.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" He screamed ecstatically. Around him, the others were sitting up. It was only after he had finished the third bowl of the ninety-eight he summoned that he noticed that Haku and Zabuza were here…

"… You summoned… ramen?" Zabuza said quietly. That one kid had said that Naruto could… but Zabuza had thought he was joking…

"… You're still here?" Naruto replied, confused.

"Um… yes. We woke up about two hours ago." There was a moment of silence.

"Naruto, check the time. We've only been… dreaming… for four hours." Shikamaru said quietly. With a start, Naruto felt that little time-sense in his head, and found that Shikamaru was right.

"It's… amazing…" Haku said, awed, "you've all lost at least ten pounds each in the last hour. And the hour before, you must have lost twenty!"

"… Great…" Ino muttered. She had been on a diet, but she hadn't meant to lose _that_ much weight. Even Chouji looked thin! Relatively speaking… but he was definitely in a better condition than everyone else (excluding Haku and Zabuza, of course).

* * *

Several hours later…

* * *

"I summoned ninety-eight bowls of ramen… and then summoned eighty-five bigger ones…" Naruto said, "And yet… I only got seven."

"At least you don't look like you just came out of your grave." Zabuza remarked, "Well, except for him." He nodded toward Neji, whom Tenten had been feeding. Naruto blinked when he noticed that Neji's breathing was shallow… and a little too fast. Sakura was by his side immediately.

"It carried over." Sakura breathed, shocked.

"What? Carried over?" Naruto wondered, confused.

"From the dream. When Gai landed on him, it broke several bones. It wasn't so bad in the dream… but…" Sakura trailed off.

"Dream? What does a dream have to do with this?" Zabuza demanded.

"'Nightmare' would be a better word for it." Kiba muttered.

"Some lethal nightmare." Zabuza said derisively. He quieted when Shino gave him a look. _That kid is creepy…_ he thought.

"How did he keep moving?" Naruto asked.

"He wasn't _really _moving; it was still a dream, after all. Now, I can heal some of it." Sakura replied, putting her hands on Neji's chest, "But I can only go so far."

"Meaning we'll have to take him to the Hospital Wing." Temari concluded, "Pomfrey-san is going to want to know how there's so much internal damage without any notable external damage."

"This is going to be troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered.

"… Does anyone know how to do CPR?" Sakura asked nervously, "I mean… just in case…"

"Oh, oh! I was going to do it once!" Naruto exclaimed, "But… the girl I was going to do it on said she'd rather die…"

"Anyone else?" Sakura asked.

"I can." Shino said quietly. Sakura shivered, and looked around at the others, hoping for some other volunteer.

"I can perform CPR! But I won't perform it on him." Lee announced. Sakura shivered again. Technically, she could do CPR… but she'd much rather do it on Sasuke…

"Why don't we just take him to the Hospital Wing?" Naruto asked. Sakura clenched a fist.

"Because his neck is broken. I can't heal that, and if we don't splint it, then if we try to carry him, we'll be sentencing him to Home!" Sakura retorted. There was a moment of dead silence. Technically, they couldn't die, but they could get close. If ever one of the shinobi or kunoichi (or Akamaru, for that matter) got to a point where they "died" from blood loss, poison, injury, etc. (anything but old age, basically, since that couldn't happen), then they would disappear from wherever they were at that moment, and reappear in Home, where they would stay until they had fully recovered. Home did the healing.

"So much for a relaxing vacation." Shikamaru grumbled.

"… Home?" Haku wondered.

"Never mind that." Shikamaru hurriedly interjected. He had been hoping to stay out of this, but nothing was getting done, and Neji didn't look like he was going to recover from laying around, "Lee, Sasuke, go as fast as you can and get some sticks. And don't _drop_ the weights!" He yelled at Lee, who was about to do just that, "… Anyway, I'll expect you both back in half a minute. Stay together." The last part he aimed at Sasuke, who he didn't trust to be left alone, then added as an afterthought, "And leave your bandages here." Lee set down his weights, and he and Sasuke unwrapped the bandages they still wore around their arms. Then the two of them disappeared.

There were some aspects about outfits that shinobi and kunoichi alike had been unwilling to give up (like Shino with his collar), and Lee, Sasuke, and Neji had kept the cloth they had wrapped around their arms. Though, they were willing to sacrifice those (until they could replace them, of course) if the alternative was "sentencing a comrade to Home" as Sakura said (though, in this particular case, Neji wouldn't really have a choice in the matter).

"Sakura, do what you can. When Lee and Sasuke get back, we'll splint Neji. Then you, Tenten, Lee, Naruto, and Sasuke can take Neji to the Hospital Wing. Naruto, if anyone asks what you're doing, let the others do the talking." Sakura nodded, and a greenish glow appeared around her hands.

Naruto opened his mouth to protest having to stay silent "if anyone asked what they were doing", but Shino gave him a look, and Naruto decided to complain later.

Lee and Sasuke came back precisely half a minute later, and they splinted Neji. Tenten picked him up carefully, and she and others that Shikamaru had named departed.

"I wonder if he'll survive?" Haku said quietly.

"He'll live, of that you can be sure." Shikamaru responded sardonically, "By the way, we never introduced ourselves… my name is Nara, Shikamaru. These are Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chouji, Inuzuka Kiba (the dog is Akamaru), Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro." He indicated each in turn, "The injured one was Hyuuga Neji, and the one who carried him was Tenten. The last one was Rock Lee. I take it you already know Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke?"

"Momochi, Zabuza. Yes, we've… met those three." Zabuza said.

"Haku." Haku replied politely.

"Pleased to meet you. Shino, you can start teaching Haku and Zabuza English now." Shikamaru directed. Shino nodded, and Haku and Zabuza blinked. Ino waved encouragingly, and she and the other seven leaped into the trees and departed.

"I wonder what Hinata wished for?" Ino said idly as they bounded across the branches.

"Who knows?" Kiba responded, "I'm just glad we're out of that nightmare…"

* * *

Tenten slowed down in a corridor as Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the Reikai Tantei came into view. Great, _just_ what she needed…

"Whoa! What's wrong with him?!" Ron and Yusuke yelled simultaneously, pointing at Neji.

"He fell." Sakura said quickly.

When Kurama raised an eyebrow, Tenten hurriedly added, "In the Forbidden Forest."

"What was he doing in the Forbidden Forest?" Hermione asked, shocked.

"Um… do you really want to know?" Tenten attempted to buy a little time.

"Yes." Kurama said quietly, and then pointed toward the little prick in Tenten's forehead, "By the way, where did that come from?"

Naruto was about to say something, but then an image from when he had regained consciousness popped up, when he had been asleep, with only Shino there as company, for slightly over an hour…

Luckily, Lee was struck with inspiration, "How about we explain_after_ we get Neji into the Hospital Wing?" He suggested. Kurama glanced at the comatose Hyuuga, and nodded reluctantly.

* * *

"So what happened to Neji?" Ron asked. He, Harry, Naruto, and Sasuke were going toward the library. Hermione had abruptly left after mentioning something about a book and looking as though she could slap herself, and Kurama had asked to know what happened as soon as they reached the Hospital Wing and deposited Neji, so Sakura and Tenten had stayed. Lee had gone off to who-knows-where.

Sasuke would rather be sitting somewhere random and brooding, but apparently Naruto hadn't forgotten that Sasuke wasn't allowed to be alone, and had no problem with reminding Sasuke about it, subtly, of course (clearing his throat loudly when Sasuke started moving inconspicuously toward an adjoining corridor, and smiling smugly when Sasuke glanced back). Thus, he was stuck here…

Unfortunately, Naruto also remembered that if someone asked about Neji, he was supposed to "let the others do the talking".

So now Naruto couldn't say anything, unless he was willing to face the wrath of the others, and Sasuke had a large dark cloud above his head, clearly indicating that he was in no mood to fabricate some story to appease Ron and Harry.

Ron made a quizzical expression when neither shinobi responded.

Yusuke relaxed in an adjacent corridor, leaning back against the wall. He had once heard Kurama mention that Naruto and Sasuke would have to have orders from someone to try to hide like they did. Thus, in a stroke of brilliance, Yusuke had decided to observe them, and try to see what _else_ they might have been ordered by what he decided to think of as the "higher-up(s)".

Employing his superior intelligence, Yusuke deduced that something was going on when Naruto opened his mouth, and closed it without saying anything. The answer would have to be, of course, that this had something to do with orders. Probably relating to talking.

Now… Naruto had stopped talking when Ron said something about Neji…

… _It's probably not relevant…_ He decided when he couldn't think of a way to connect the observations.

* * *

"I had you looking in the wrong section!" Hermione exclaimed, coming into the library, where Harry and Ron were sitting (Naruto and Sasuke close by), holding a huge book "How could I be so stupid?" She slammed it on the table; "I checked it out _weeks_ ago for a bit of light reading." She opened the enormous manuscript, and Naruto, looking at it, mentally dubbed it _"Hermione's Massive Tome of Light Reading"_.

"_This_ is light?" Ron asked. Hermione gave him a look, and turned back to the book, carefully flipping through the pages.

"Here we are!" She said, putting a finger on a page, "'Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker of the Sorcerer's Stone'!"

"The what?" Harry and Ron asked at the same time. Hermione gave them a look.

"Honestly, don't you two _read?_" She looked back at the book, "'The Sorcerer's Stone is a legendary substance, with astonishing powers. It can transform any metal into pure gold, and it produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal.'"

Off to the side, Sasuke muttered, "I pity anyone who drinks that."

"Immortal?" Ron asked.

"It means you'll never die." Hermione explained.

"I know what it means!" Ron retorted.

"Sh!" Harry said to quiet Ron. Though Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn't notice, Naruto and Sasuke had a couple of dark clouds growing above their heads.

Hermione continued, "'The only Stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicholas Flamel, who last year celebrated his 665th birthday.'"

"That's nothing." Naruto muttered.

"_That's_ what Fluffy's guarding on the third floor._That's_ what's under the trap door. The Sorcerer's Stone." Hermione finished.

"Why would anyone _want_ to be immortal?" Naruto demanded, looking at the description of Nicholas Flamel. "It makes no sense!_Anyone_ who thinks ahead even a few _decades_ should see that it's so… so…" Naruto could not seem to find words horrible enough to describe it. Indeed, no word that he could think of offhand seemed to describe immortality quite right. So he was silent for a moment before continuing his tirade:

"It's so inherently _wrong!_ So cruelly _torturous!_ So viciously _brutal!_ So inhumanly _sadistic!_ So intrinsically _erroneous!_" Naruto continued to grope for words to describe the atrocious impropriety of immortality, and its pursuit. He was obliviously unaware of the open-mouthed shock that was the response to his choice of words. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all replied simultaneously.

"… Intrinsically erroneous…?" Ron choked.

"… Cruelly torturous…?" Hermione asked.

"… Inhumanly sadistic…?" Harry wondered.

"There's _nothing_…" Naruto paused when Sasuke stepped on his foot. Suddenly remembering what he was doing, Naruto immediately tried to repair the damage, "… I'd less want to be!"

_Why does Naruto hate immortality so much?_ Harry wondered, _As if he has some personal grudge against it… and how come it seems he changes what he was going to say every time Sasuke interrupts him?_

Ron tried to change the subject, "So… I hear we're getting two temporary substitute teachers. Snape, Quirrel, and Grubbly-Plank all had to get some medication for that sickness… you know, the one that will render a witch or wizard incapable of doing their job? They're supposed to be gone for a week, at least."

"I've tried looking up the symptoms." Hermione said, "But I can't find information on it anywhere! I suppose it's because the disease is so new that there aren't any books on it yet."

"Who are the new teachers?" Harry asked, "They can't be worse than Snape."

"Can't remember. They had odd names." Ron replied, "I remember that one ended with 'chi', 'tachi', I think… _A_tachi…_U_tachi… or was it _I_tachi?"

Sasuke froze in the act of glaring at Naruto (they were having a staring, a.k.a, glaring, contest), "… Itachi?"

"Yeah, I think that was it." Ron said obliviously.

"… Itachi?"

"What about him?" Ron asked.

"… Itachi…?" Ron was starting to get a little scared. Naruto, deciding that since Sasuke was no longer paying attention to him, that he won the staring contest by default, took the victory in stride, and backed away. Ron _must_ have heard the name wrong…

"… Itachi…" Naruto twitched. Right after that horrific dream, too…

"…_Itachi_…"

"Yes?" A calm voice came from the entrance to the library. Sasuke spun around, and Naruto got a sinking feeling. This, unlike earlier, was_not_ a dream…

"Uchiha… Itachi!" Sasuke hissed.

"… Uchiha? Are you two related?" Ron asked.

"No." Sasuke ground out. Ron looked at Itachi.

"More or less." Itachi replied quietly. Ron looked between them, confused. They both had dark hair… they both had sharp eyes… Ron's eyes widened, as he looked at the eyes closer; all four were red, with three weird little black things, each.

"So you _are_ here." Itachi seemed to be addressing both Naruto and Sasuke now, "I suppose the other jinchuuriki must be here, as well."

"Why would you want to know?" Sasuke was suddenly wary.

"You do not need to know, foolish brother." Itachi said coolly. Anger was practically radiating off of Sasuke. Itachi was looking down on him, always looking down on him…

In a matter of seconds, Sasuke had charged Chidori, charged at Itachi, and was thrown back.

"As a temporary substitute teacher at this school, I cannot directly attack students." Itachi explained, "However, I can give you detention."

Sasuke stood up, clenching his fists. Still no difference… despite having eighteen hundred years…

Sakura walked into the room, and stopped cold. Itachi looked at her, and said calmly, "That just leaves eleven."

* * *

_He was trapped in an orb of water, as were Lee and Tenten. Gai was fighting… that person…_

But nothing like that had ever happened… so why did it seem like a memory? And why was it so vivid? It was like déjà vu. Neji tried to shake off the disturbing thoughts as the person who had just entered the Hospital Wing came toward him.

"Professor Hoshigake, this is Neji. Neji, this is Kisame Hoshigake, a temporary substitute teacher." Madame Pomfrey introduced, "He'll be teaching Potions until professor Snape returns from St. Mungo's. He wanted to talk to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think Neville ran into some… lethal difficulties." She left quickly, and Neji wished she would stay. Somehow, he already knew Kisame's name, though the only time he was sure he had seen him was in the dream. That thing that seemed like a memory, but couldn't be, wasn't very comforting…

Kisame, meanwhile, observed Neji. Itachi had gone to the library after hearing that Naruto and Sasuke happened to be there, and Neji was the only other shinobi that they knew the current whereabouts of. No matter, though, for they would be keeping tabs on all fifteen before too long.

For a moment Kisame wondered why Neji looked suspicious the moment he had entered the room, and was about to file it away when something flashed in his mind…

_He was using a doppelganger technique; Itachi was sitting next to him, doing the same. Perhaps he would get revenge on Gai for that kick two years ago… he had managed to imprison the rest of the team…_

Which had had this kid in it… but that had never happened, so why did Kisame get the feeling that it had yet to happen? It was very vague, though, so Kisame brushed it off for the time being.

"Ten shinobi, two of which are jinchuuriki, five kunoichi, and one dog…" Kisame said calmly. He could, technically, speak English, but decided to use Japanese for this, "Suddenly disappear from four different locations at the same time. They are seen again, eighteen hundred years later, on another continent, attending a school that teaches weak techniques. There was reportedly some significant difference in age, but they appear to be younger, and the same age now." Finding out that they were apparently the same age was a simple matter of going through the list of students that Dumbledore had so graciously lent them, and finding all fifteen under the "First Year" category. It had been a lot harder to find out that they had actually _disappeared_ from their own era.

"What do you want?" Neji demanded warily.

"To know how." Kisame switched to English, now that he had said what he did not wish anyone but himself and Neji to hear (others of the fifteen hearing wouldn't do any damage, but they grew up with Japanese, anyway, so it was a moot point).

"Ask someone who knows." Neji suggested, closing his eyes.

"I'm quite certain that _you_ know." Kisame said. When Neji didn't reply, he continued, "I'm also certain that, despite what rumors say, you are quite skilled enough to avoid injuring yourself this critically, in a place like this."

"It's more lethal than you'd think." Neji said evasively.

"Not that lethal. I'll see you when you're in a good enough condition to come to Potions." Kisame left the room.

Neji leaned back on his bed. This must truly be the worst vacation he had _ever_ gone on…

The door opened, and Fred and George came in. Neji mentally reassessed the situation: _now_ it was the worst vacation he had ever gone on. He wished he could just disappear, and get some rest…

Unfortunately, Fred and George spotted him immediately, and sauntered over.

"Looks like you got yourself in quite a predicament, mate." Fred said cheerfully.

"Go… away…" Neji growled.

"We will…" "… But first we'd like to know…" "… How did our spell work?"

Neji raised an eyebrow, "… That dream was your fault?"

"So glad you found out…" "… Which means it worked?" "Say…" "… If you don't mind us asking…" "… How did you get injured so critically?"

"Oh… I was _dying_ to wake up." Neji said sarcastically.

"That sounds a little accusatory..." "… Anyway…" "… How come you wear those contacts?"

"That dream… was your fault." Neji carefully relaxed… perhaps if he could regain enough strength for a nice eight triagrams…

"… So?" George asked.

Neji held onto the fantasy of sticking the twins into a boiling pot of the Curry of Life for a moment, before reminding himself that he couldn't even smack them with several well-aimed gentle fists. Something inside his head seemed to snap, and he yelled, "If you think I'm a shinobi, why don't you just _ask?!_"

"Shinobi?" "That's what you call it?" "We've known _that_ for a _long_ time!" "We just wanted to know why you wear those contacts!"

Neji ground his teeth. "Go… _away_…"

"But–" The two protested at the same time. Neji, ignoring the pain that shot through his limbs, managed to get into a sitting position, and raise a chakra-infused fist threateningly. He fervently hoped that they would get the hint _after_ he had hit them several times.

Unfortunately, Fred and George _did_ have survival instincts, and stood up quickly, saying a couple of quick farewells before hurrying out the door. Neji fell back against the pillow, deciding that it was about time he got some rest. The chakra concentrated in his hand dispersed, and he attempted to relax.

The door opened, and Neji felt frustration start welling up. It disappeared when Hinata stepped in timidly.

"… Hinata…?" He asked. She came forward a little.

"Neji… I'm sorry… I should have… you could have been sent to Home…" She said, making a futile attempt at not crying.

"Hinata, it's not your fault." Neji replied softly. He would have liked very much to blame Fred and George, but he knew that them well enough to know that they weren't callous, and that even though they had set the spell that caused the shinobi and kunoichi to sleep, they could never have known what would happen.

"It's Home's." Not that he had any problem whatsoever with blaming Home for any little problem that ever came up. In fact, he had started associating Home with fate.

Suddenly Hinata was hugging him, crying. Despite the pain it brought, Neji wouldn't have stopped her if he could; he didn't need Byakugan to know that this would make Hinata feel better.

Madame Pomfrey opened the door and stopped abruptly, feeling quite warm and fuzzy as she watched Hinata hug Neji, completely forgetting that it would be detrimental for Neji's health for Hinata to hug him that tightly.

Despite having stayed completely still so as not to ruin the moment, Madame Pomfrey knew she had done just that as she watched a vein pop out on Neji's forehead.

"Hinata…" Neji said quietly. Hinata let go, and stepped away, obviously feeling much better than when she had come in.

Madame Pomfrey smiled, "Don't worry, he'll be fine." She said encouragingly. Hinata smiled timidly, and left.

Neji felt it get harder to think as pain shot through him. _Looks like Hinata broke a few ribs… and Madame Pomfrey was just getting those fixed, too…_

* * *

"We realize that there have been some incidents due to the previous two recipes served. We express regret for the last time, where some students went temporarily deaf." Dumbledore said apologetically, "Another recipe has been prepared."

"What's the difference between this and the last one?" Yusuke wondered, looking at the new ramen.

"Isn't it obvious? This is the diet version!" Chouji reprimanded, stuffing his face with the non-diet ramen.

"Seriously!" Ino exclaimed.

Kiba leaned back, yawning…

* * *

"_Quite unusual, bringing a dog to Hogwarts." Ollivander remarked, looking carefully through the shelves._

"_Well…" Kiba thought about his carefully crafted story, "I couldn't leave Akamaru behind, because there was no one to take care of him. I told Dumbledore, and he said I could bring him." Of course, he had been a little sappier when explaining to Dumbledore; just to make sure Akamaru could come._

"_Let's see…" Ollivander was about to take one of the boxes off the shelf, when Akamaru walked up beside him, sniffing curiously, and put his front paws on the box next to the one Ollivander was about to pull out, and started tugging on it. Curious, Ollivander slightly altered his aim, and took the case Akamaru was tugging on._

_When Kiba flicked the wand, nothing seemed to happen, but when Ollivander glanced at Akamaru, he saw that the little dog had turned red, and its ears were sticking up as its fur stood on end._

"_Huh, dog whistle." Kiba commented. Ollivander blinked, what did he mean by _that?

_(Inuzuka Kiba – Fang, Cerberus Fur, 13 in.)_

* * *

"I had thought you were spending time studying medicine." Kankuro remarked casually to Sasuke, relaxing on his bed. They were the only two in the common room. Kankuro would have been with Temari and Gaara, but Sasuke had decided to stay in the common room, and he was, after all, to be under constant supervision, and Naruto was going to the Griffindor common room. Kankuro would have happily dumped Sasuke with Sakura or Ino, but neither one had shown up before they reached the Slytherin common room.

Kankuro, bored, had decided to strike up a conversation, which had meandered toward Neji (currently unconscious, as both shinobi were quite aware. "Fate" was surfacing in their thoughts often), and from there to medicine.

"No, I was more interested in quantum physics." Sasuke replied, idly reading a book advanced far ahead of first year magic, "What about you? You might as well have been glued to those chemistry and biology books."

"I was studying poison." Kankuro said dismissively, "Hey… that book…"

"Has some interesting material." Sasuke interrupted, moving his hand to obscure the title "Great Masters of the Dark Arts".

"As far as I know…" Kankuro remarked, "The 'Dark Arts' are not condoned here. I recall a certain class…"

"I know. Itachi's going to be teaching it." Sasuke snapped, "So I decided to research a little more in that area."

"I was just going to ask…" Kankuro retorted, "If you have another copy I could borrow. I couldn't find any books that really went into detail in the library, but I don't care to try the restricted section." There were plenty of books for _defense_ in the library, but never any _offense_ (using "Dark Arts", anyway).

"Here. I've finished this one." Sasuke pulled a book out of a little ornamented box, entitled "Unforgivable Curses, the Why, What, and How". He had considered trying them on Itachi…

"Not worried about getting caught?" Kankuro asked, knowing the answer. He caught the book deftly as Sasuke tossed it to him.

"Not at all."

* * *

"Do you think…?" Sakura asked. She had just mentioned to Shikamaru that she had heard Hinata's wish, and was feeling slightly apprehensive of what it might do. If Naruto was stuck being attracted to _two_ girls for the rest of eternity… she might actually feel sorry for him.

"Nah." Shikamaru said nonchalantly, "That would require Naruto's mental state to change, though I wouldn't necessarily call it 'maturing'. It's probable that Home twisted the dream, but it's certain that Home's also set down rules, non-development, for one. That's why Iruka said 'may possibly'. It was a simple way of not having to follow up on granting the wish if it contradicted one of Home's rules. As an example, if someone else had won, and wished for us to no longer be immortal, that wouldn't work, either."

"I see." Well, at least Sakura wouldn't be obliged to pity Naruto when he got on her nerves, and suffered the consequences.

* * *

I feel fairly certain that that does not count as a cliffhanger. Now…

Bonus: Scholarspeak (A Language Unlike Any Other).

…

"We appreciate that there have been some incidents appropriate to the preceding two recipes doled out. We act contrite for the last time, where some undergraduates became, for the time being, hard of hearing." Dumbledore said diffidently, "An additional concoction has been geared up."

…

"I recognize that Itachi is going to be present there to coach it." Sasuke snapped, "As a result, I determined to follow a line of investigation a little extra in that region."

"I was presently going to inquire…" Kankuro replied furiously, "If you contain an extra reproduction I could have a loan of. I couldn't stumble on any manuscripts that in actual fact went into detail within the annals, but I don't care to undertake the restricted section." There was an abundance of volumes for _protection_ in the library, but on no account any _assault_ (by means of the "Dark Arts", at any rate).

…

"Not apprehensive in relation to getting busted?" Kankuro solicited, knowing the answer. He snatched the book niftily as Sasuke lobbed it in his direction.

"Not at all."

…

"Thumbs down." Shikamaru understood imperturbably, "That would necessitate Naruto's psychological status to adjust, despite the fact that I would not necessarily describe it as 'maturing'. It is feasible that Home warped the reverie. However, it is definite that Home has furthermore set down regulations, non-development, for one. That is why Iruka said 'may possibly'. It was a trouble-free technique of not having to follow up on granting the wish if it disagreed with one of Home's regulations. As an illustration, if someone else had been the champion, and wished for us to no longer be immortal, that would not function, either."

…

… But I could go throughout the course of the entire chapter doing that.


	34. Party at Hagrid's, Detention and a Chase

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"That is all for today." Shino announced. Haku and Zabuza sighed in relief. Learning a new language was not like learning techniques…

"If I may ask, Shino…" Haku said quietly, "Earlier, Sakura mentioned something called 'Home'…" when Shino didn't reply, he finished, "Does it hold any… significance?"

Shino was quiet for another moment before responding; "That depends on whom." He said evasively, "It may not hold significance for you."

"I see." Haku said.

"What about_you?_" Zabuza asked. Shino turned away.

"The significance it holds for me… has nothing to do with you."

"Oh, doesn't it?" Zabuza asked testily, "If it's_significant_ to _all_ of you, who's to say it has nothing to do with _us_, when it would appear we're _here_ because of either _all_ of you, or just Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura?"

"I hope, for your sake, the coincidence that you were pulled out of Spirit World and ended up here, and Home, are unrelated." Shino hopped into a tree, and as an afterthought, added, "If they happen to be related, however, we may have to explain what we know of Home to you." He jumped away, and Haku and Zabuza suddenly got the feeling that they didn't want to know what this "Home" was.

* * *

Kuwabara sat with a rose that Kurama had let him use, slowly pulling off the petals and muttering, "He's a shinobi…" another petal off, "He's a shinobi not…" another petal off, "He's a shinobi… he's a shinobi not…"

No matter how he looked at it, Kuwabara just could not imagine Naruto being a shinobi, thus he resorted to this little thing he had learned about.

"He's a shinobi… he's a shinobi not…"

Weren't shinobi supposed to be _stealthy?_ Weren't they supposed to be trained for _assassination?_

"He's a shinobi… he's a shinobi not…"

Weren't they supposed to be _cool?_ Weren't they supposed to be _dark?_

"He's a shinobi… he's a shinobi not…"

No matter how much he tried, Kuwabara couldn't wrap his mind around the concept that Naruto was a shinobi. Naruto and Sasuke had both been there when Naruto had let slip that they were shinobi. Thus, the thing that really made Kuwabara's head start hurting was that if Naruto wasn't a shinobi, then Sasuke couldn't be, either. But Sasuke seemed to fit the idea fairly well… and since he was a shinobi, Naruto was, too… just like Naruto had said…

"He's a shinobi… he's a–" He stopped when he noticed that he had pulled out the last petal when he said, "he's a shinobi". Tossing the now petal-less rose away, he muttered, "Shows how much shrubbery knows…"

* * *

"Where are they going?" Naruto wondered, watching the footsteps make their way across the grass. He and Sasuke were relaxing against a wall, neither in the mood to go to bed yet. Naruto started following after them silently.

"Who cares?" Sasuke mumbled, walking after him.

Sakura blinked as she saw Naruto and Sasuke following some footsteps. She was going to bed a little late after sending a letter to one of her sources in Spirit World. She watched as Hiei suddenly appeared, and talked to Naruto and Sasuke for a moment before the three of them looked at the footsteps, which kept moving.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked quietly, stepping out of the shadows.

"Oh, hi, Sakura." Naruto said, "We're just following those three."

"It's past time to be going to bed." Sakura reminded him, "Why don't you just ask them in the morning?"

"Ask them? Sure!" Naruto ran off, and Sakura slapped her forehead, muttering, "I said _in the morning_."

"Where are you going?" Naruto asked, jumping right in the path of the footsteps, which stopped abruptly.

"How did you…?" Ron stuttered, shocked, as the cloak slipped off of him, Harry, and Hermione.

"You were making a lot of noise." Naruto replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Hiei raised an eyebrow. Harry, Ron, and Hermione hadn't been making much noise at all.

"You're a lot of people to be up so late." Yusuke remarked, coming into view.

"So is all of Hogwarts going to show up now?" Ron said wryly.

"Huh? Probably not." Naruto replied.

"That was a rhetorical question." Ron muttered.

"Let's just go." Harry said.

"Go where?" Naruto and Yusuke asked at the same time.

"Just to Hagrid's hut." Hermione answered.

"We'll come with you!" Naruto replied cheerfully.

"Fine, let's just _go_, before all of Hogwarts _does_ show up." Harry said, getting somewhat impatient.

"All right! Lead the way!" Naruto exclaimed, striking a pose. Yusuke immediately set off, and the others followed, though Harry, Ron, and Hermione soon took the lead.

Hagrid opened the door, and looked at the eight visitors, "… Oh, hello. Sorry, don't wish to be rude, but I'm in no fit state to entertain today." He said abruptly, starting to close the door.

"We know about the Sorcerers' Stone!" Harry, Ron, and Hermione said at the same time.

Hagrid stopped closing the door, and Yusuke asked, "Sorcerers' Stone? What's that?"

Hagrid blinked and considered finishing the task of shutting his door.

"It's something that some idiot made to make himself immortal." Naruto explained, sounding somewhat revolted.

"Normally, I would tell Naruto that he's in no position to call anyone 'idiot', but in this case…" Sakura mumbled under her breath.

"He's not even a thousand years old!" Naruto continued.

"Uh, Naruto, that's a millennium." Hermione pointed out.

"What's your point?" Naruto asked.

"Well, it's not exactly a short time to live." Hermione tried to explain.

"It said he's only 665." Naruto replied.

"… If yer goin' to be comin' in…" Hagrid interjected.

"Thank you!" Sakura said quickly, hoping that Naruto would shut up before he said anything… problematic. The Reikai Tantei knew that Naruto and Sasuke were shinobi, but there was no possible way they could know that they were immortal. She and the other seven trooped into the little hut, Hagrid closing the door behind them.

"We think Snape's trying to steal it. The Stone, I mean." Harry said, sitting down.

"Snape? Blimey, yer not still on about him, are you?" Hagrid asked incredulously.

"Hagrid, we know he's after the Stone, we just don't know why." Harry insisted.

"Snape is one of the teachers _protecting_ the Stone. He's not about to steal it." Hagrid argued.

"What?" Harry wondered.

"You heard. Alright, come on now, I'm a bit preoccupied today." Hagrid shooed.

"Wait a minute, '_one_ of the teachers'?" Harry asked.

"Of course!" Hermione exclaimed, "There are other things defending the Stone, aren't there? Spells, enchantments!"

"That's right. Waste of bloody time, if you ask me. Ain't no one gonna get past Fluffy." Hagrid chuckled, "Ain't a soul knows how, except for me and Dumbledore. I shouldn't have told you that, I should not have told you that…"

A rattling sound came from the cauldron over the fire, and Hagrid hurried toward it, taking a large black and brown egg out and hurriedly setting it down on the table.

"Uh, Hagrid, what exactly is that?" Harry asked.

"That? It's uh… it's uh…"

"I know what that is!" Ron exclaimed.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"But, Hagrid, how did you get one?" Ron didn't seem to have heard Naruto.

"I won it." Hagrid replied, "Off a stranger I met down at the pub. Seemed quite glad to get rid of it, as a matter of fact."

Some cracking sounds started coming from the egg, and a little wing pushed its way out of shell, followed soon after by a small reptilian body.

"Is that… a dragon?" Hermione asked.

"That's not just a dragon." Ron breathed, "That's a Norwegian Ridgeback! My brother Charlie works with these in Romania."

"Isn't he beautiful?" Hagrid said happily as the little dragon turned toward him, "Oh, bless him. Look, he knows his mummy. Hello, Norbert." He cooed, rubbing the little dragon's chin.

"Norbert?" Harry asked.

"He's got to have a name, don't he?" Hagrid explained, "Don't you, Norbert?"

In reply, Norbert sneezed, leaving several glowing embers in Hagrid's beard.

"He'll have to be trained up a bit, of course." Hagrid said, he looked at the window, "… Who's that?"

"Malfoy." Harry stated, following Hagrid's gaze.

"Oh, dear." Hagrid muttered.

* * *

"Hagrid always wanted a dragon. Told me so the first time I met him." Harry remarked. The little procession had left Hagrid's hut, and were now on their way back to their respective dormitories. They didn't have to split up quite yet.

"It's crazy, and worse, Malfoy knows." Ron replied.

"Nosy brat." Yusuke grumbled.

"I don't understand, is that bad?" Hermione asked.

"It's bad." Ron stated, as professor McGonagall came out from a room, with Malfoy at her heels.

"Good evening." She greeted.

* * *

"Nothing, I repeat, nothing, gives a student the right to walk about at night." McGonagall stated, "Therefore, as punishment for your actions, fifty points will be taken."

"Fifty?!" Harry demanded, aghast.

"Each. And to make sure it doesn't happen again, the seven of you will receive detention." McGonagall condemned.

"… Seven…?" Malfoy wondered, looking around.

Naruto blinked, and looked around, noticing that Sasuke and Hiei had disappeared. And that meant that Sasuke was now unsupervised…

"That is correct." McGonagall turned her gaze on Malfoy, "You see, honorable as your intentions were, you too were out at night. You will serve detention with your classmates."

Naruto would have let it slide, and tell off on Sasuke later, but McGonagall had just proved that one could be blamed for one's good intentions, and Naruto didn't want to take any chances where the punishment was dealt by Shikamaru or (more often) Shino.

"Say…" He whispered to Yusuke, "What do you do when you're somewhere, and you need to be somewhere else?"

Yusuke blinked, and replied, "Leave," without turning. Naruto nodded.

McGonagall turned to call for Filch, but when she turned back, Naruto and Sakura were no longer there.

Yusuke's jaw dropped. Naruto was just suddenly… not there. He could even see some little wisps of smoke where Naruto had been standing. And Sakura was gone, too…

Earlier, he had been finding it difficult to think of Naruto as a shinobi, so now his mind blanked, and in shock, he simply said, "Naruto… disappeared…"

"I can see that, mister Urameshi." McGonagall snapped, "I recall hearing you say something that sounded like 'leave'…"

Yusuke just_might_ have heard her if he didn't instinctively tune out teachers when they caught him, but instead, he just repeated, "Naruto… disappeared…"

"I wonder why? And why is Sakura gone, too?" Hermione wondered.

Yusuke just stood staring at the open door, "Naruto… disappeared…"

"You will go on with your detention." McGonagall ordered, "I'll deal with mister Uzumaki and miss Haruno later. Ah, Filch!"

As Yusuke went on like a broken record in the background, Harry turned to see Filch walk in… in yellow-green spandex. Harry thought he must have lost five or ten years of his life, and hoped that he would _never _see such a disturbing image again.

* * *

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, jumping into view, and landing loudly on the branch Sasuke was sitting on, "What do you think you're doing, leaving us like that!?

"I've done it once, I can do it again." Sasuke said, quietly and calmly. Thankfully, Hiei had left, so he had no problem mentioning things like that. Naruto opened and closed his mouth, infuriated, but no words came out. Sakura looked as though Sasuke had hit her.

"As soon as I get the chance… I'm telling Shikamaru or Shino." Naruto managed to say.

"Good for you." Sasuke said sarcastically.

"What's gotten into you?" Sakura demanded.

Sasuke was silent for a moment before responding, "All of this… it was supposed to be a vacation. Something happened, and now it's a little exciting, but will it matter in the long run? After this, we're still going to be living on and on. Something similar may happen sometime in the future, but it won't change anything."

"So? Who cares?!" Naruto yelled.

"_I_ don't!" Sasuke snapped back, "But Itachi's here, which means I can still kill him!"

"And what after that?" Sakura asked angrily.

"I don't care, do you?"

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed, "Even if we can't change anything, I still care that we're _immortal_!"

There was silence, before Sakura said quietly, "Nothing has changed." Naruto and Sasuke looked at her, slightly surprised to hear her fighting back tears, "We haven't grown, in any way. We're still the way we were before…" She couldn't seem to bring herself to finish that sentence, and continued without it, "Why can't we grow? Why couldn't we just live our lives, and die?"

It was something that the fifteen had all wondered, several times. What had they ever done to deserve such a fate? Why couldn't they have lived and died in their own time? Why did they have to exist, on and on? Sometimes, a few of the generally more depressed shinobi (none of the kunoichi got quite depressed enough) wondered why they didn't just sit in Home for the rest of eternity. Why they held onto emotions, and feelings.

"… I miss… the past…" Naruto said. He felt that the silence was oppressive, and wanted to say something, but what he had just said didn't make the atmosphere any less constricting. To the contrary, it just seemed to make the already dark mood even more depressing.

Sakura broke down into tears, and Naruto felt like he should try to comfort her, but he had lost all will to move. Even Kyuubi felt like a black pit of melancholy (though the source of the bijuu's depression was being _trapped_ forever, rather than living forever).

A voice came out of the darkness, "See that? That's unicorn blood, that is." It was Hagrid. For lack of something better to do, Team 7 got a little closer to investigate. Naruto, feeling very depressed, thought about the small course of action. For lack of something better to do… to_do,_ perhaps the shinobi and kunoichi didn't _only_ come out into the world to _feel,_ but to _do,_ as well, to temporarily get away from the standstill, the immobility, of Home… to _feel_, and to _do_. Though, now that he thought about it, those two seemed to be interconnected. One couldn't happen without the other.

Soon, Hagrid, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Malfoy, and Yusuke came into view, and Naruto whispered to Sasuke, "We're going to be in trouble for not being there, no thanks to _you_." Sasuke didn't reply, and Naruto got the feeling that he couldn't care less.

Hagrid bent down by a little silver puddle, and dipped his fingers in.

"Hagrid, what's that?" Harry asked.

It was a moment before Hagrid responded, "What we're here for. See that?" He held up his hand, "That's unicorn blood, that is. I found one dead a few weeks ago. Now, this one's been hurt bad by something. So, it's our job to go and find the poor beast. Ron, Hermione, Yusuke, you'll come with me."

"Okay…" Ron squeaked.

"And Harry, you'll go with Malfoy."

"Okay, then I get Fang!" Malfoy said immediately.

"Fine." Hagrid agreed, "Just so you know, he's a bloody coward."

As they separated, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke looked at each other, and decided to follow Harry, Malfoy, and Fang, because they didn't know how far Yusuke's sensing skills went, and following the group with him in it might be risky. Naruto and Sakura may have been able to get away without him noticing, but that had been a bit of a risk. Actually, if he had half a brain, he would probably already know that Sakura was a kunoichi…

"Wait till my father hears about this." Malfoy griped, "This is servants' stuff!"

"If I didn't know better, Draco." Harry snapped, "I'd say you were scared."

For some reason, Naruto started to feel slightly better as he listened. It felt good to listen and watch something untainted by Home, something that would live, and die, as it should. He looked at the branch he was standing on, suddenly feeling as if he was an observer, and everything was in an observer's perspective. A few ants crawled on the branch… their lives were so short… and yet; the bugs that dwelled in Shino were immortal. They didn't breed, but simply went about their business, feeding on Shino's chakra and all that. Naruto started feeling that depression come again, and turned back toward Harry, Malfoy, and Fang, who had stopped.

Following their gazes, Naruto blinked when he saw something cloaked in black kneeling behind a dead horse, and sucking its blood. Looking at the shining horn on the horse, Naruto wondered if this was what Hagrid had been talking about when he had said "Unicorn". But what would that make the thing in the black cloak?

Malfoy screamed, and ran. Harry, in shock, backed off slowly as Fang went with Malfoy. The thing in black looked up, and seemed to float upward until it was apparently in a standing position.

Naruto felt slightly alarmed for a second, before the alarm seemed to melt into the indifferent fascination of a moment before, and he simply watched curiously as the thing floated forward. He felt he should do something…

Something sprang out of the trees, and chased the black thing away. It was a centaur. Naruto felt the name hovering at the edge of his mind… but he couldn't seem to bring it into the open.

"Harry Potter, you must leave." The centaur said, and Naruto could have smacked his forehead trying to remember the name… "You are known to many creatures here. The Forest is not safe at this time. Especially for you."

"What was that thing you saved me from?" Harry asked.

"A monstrous creature." The centaur answered. What _was _his name? "It is a terrible crime to slay a unicorn. Drinking the blood of the unicorn will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death. But at a terrible price, for you have slain something so pure, that from the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half-life. A cursed life."

Naruto idly wondered if his own life could be any more cursed than it already was.

"Who would choose such a life?" Harry asked. Certainly not me... Naruto thought.

"Can you think of no one?" The centaur replied.

"Do you mean to say…" Harry said slowly, "… That that thing that killed the unicorn, that was drinking its blood… that was Voldemort?"There's another idiot who wants to be immortal?

The centaur leaned down, "Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment, Mr. Potter?"

"The Sorcerers' Stone…" Harry breathed. He heard some barking, and turned quickly to see the others who had come.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Hello there, Firenze." Hagrid greeted. Naruto blinked. That's right… Firenze was his name… "I see you've met our young Mr. Potter. You all right there, Harry?" Harry nodded.

"Harry Potter, this is where I leave you." Firenze said, "You're safe now. Good luck."

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura watched as Firenze left, and Hagrid and his little group soon went in the opposite direction. Naruto thought for a moment, and then darted toward where Firenze had disappeared. The centaur soon came into view.

"Oh, hello Naruto." Firenze said, surprised, "And you, too, Sasuke, Sakura."

"How's the ramen making coming along?" Naruto inquired.

"It's going slowly, but we're learning." Firenze replied.

"I just thought I'd give you something for getting rid of that thing." Naruto said, biting his thumb.

"Uh… thanks…" Firenze said as Naruto handed him a quickly summoned bowl of ramen.

"Now… which way was the castle…" Naruto wondered, turning around.

"Over there." Firenze pointed. Naruto thanked him, and he, Sasuke, and Sakura were off.

* * *

Shino stood quietly in the deep shadows, a bug crawling up his ear. He could hear Team 7 coming his way.

Shino carefully relaxed, and let his thoughts wander for a moment…

* * *

After taking Shino's measurements, Ollivander walked toward a section of shelves and carefully looked at a few of the boxes. He glanced back at Shino, and raised an eyebrow as Shino silently pointed toward one of the boxes. Ollivander looked at the one he was pointing to, and decided to humor the boy. As he pulled the case out, a couple of little bugs scuttled away.

_Ollivander handed Shino the wand, and if Ollivander hadn't happened to be looking at the tip of the wand, he would have missed the tiny twitch that indicated that Shino flicked it._

_Two tiny dome-shaped black things came out of the tip of the wand, rising. They suddenly turned into a blur, turning out to be wings as they made a buzzing sound and the little bug that they belonged to flew off._

_(Aburame Shino – Birch, Cockroach exoskeleton, 13 in.)_

* * *

"No wandering the corridors after dark." Shino said quietly, watching as Naruto jumped in surprise, "This is the rule."

"Yeah, yeah!" Naruto snapped, "I'm trying to find the Griffindor common room, and then Sakura will drop off Sasuke. I'm_ pretty_ sure it was this way…" He pointed and marched off. Sakura and Sasuke glanced at Shino before following, and Shino simply turned away to head for the Ravenclaw common room.

* * *

"We're lost." Sakura stated, irritated. Naruto looked around the corridors again.

"No, we're not. Let's go…" He tried to think beyond what Sakura would do if she found out that he had no idea where they were, "… This way!"

Sasuke and Sakura narrowed their eyes.

* * *

"We're not making nearly enough progress." Kurama sighed, rubbing his forehead. It was slightly past midnight, and he had brought Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei here to discuss their mission. He was only fairly certain that Sakura was a kunoichi, which was somewhat frustrating.

"Personally, there's only one person I can imagine being a ninja." Yusuke announced.

"Who?" Kurama asked tiredly.

"Snape." Yusuke answered. Kurama thought he heard a slight "thump" from the direction of the door.

"And Shino." Kuwabara added. Kurama raised an eyebrow. Shino? He did seem to fit the concept… though, Naruto didn't at all, but Kurama decided to ignore that for now. Shino was in Ravenclaw… perhaps Kurama could try to keep track of both him and Sakura? There was always the Wizard Exam, but that was a last resort, and because it was the only thing they could fall back on, Kurama didn't want to have to do so.

"Then there's Itachi. By all appearances, he's related to Sasuke." Hiei pointed out.

This time Kurama heard a loud crash, and he and the other three turned toward the door quickly. Hiei had it open in one second, tops, and Kurama raised an eyebrow when he saw a flash of blond hair disappearing around the corner. Hiei darted after it, and Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama followed.

There was a loud "poof" and Kurama skidded to halt in front of a small cloud of smoke, which was dissipating quickly.

* * *

"I wonder if they go there regularly?" Naruto huffed as he, Sasuke, and Sakura ran away from the room that Naruto had unwittingly led them to, and which happened to have the Reikai Tantei in it. He was now running on the right wall for no particular reason.

"Looks like your Shadow Clone didn't throw them off." Sakura retorted, glancing back. There were some _very_ rapid footsteps closing in on them.

"Why are we running, again?" Naruto asked.

"Because they don't know _I'm_ a kunoichi." Sakura replied, "And now that we've started, we might as well try to lose them."

"We could split up." Sasuke suggested.

"We can't split up!" Sakura objected. As much as she didn't want to disagree with Sasuke… "It would be going against orders."

"That's right! We can't leave Sasuke alone!" Naruto recalled.

"Hiei's going to be in sight soon." Sasuke remarked calmly, thinking, _It was worth a shot…_

"That's not good…" Naruto made a sign and sent five Shadow Clones hurtling into a window, effectively ridding it of all unwanted glass. He went through, and Sasuke and Sakura followed, grabbing a glass-less edge and pivoting through as if they were rounding a tight bend. They ran straight up the wall, and reentered the castle through another window.

"… Not good." Naruto muttered, looking around. Sasuke and Sakura's eyes twitched. They had entered the Griffindor common room. Not only that, but it was the boys' dormitory…

"There you are!" Lee said loudly, "That was certainly a youthful entrance! But, why did you bring Sasuke and Sakura?"

"Lee!" Sakura said quickly, "If any of the 'transfer students' come through that window, try to delay them, would you?"

Lee frowned, and nodded.

"Thanks." Team 7 hurried down the stairs and exited through the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was, thankfully, sleeping.

"Wait… Naruto, how come you didn't stay behind?" Sakura asked.

"Hm? Someone has to keep and eye on Sasuke!" Naruto replied. A nerve popped out on Sakura's forehead, and Naruto got the feeling that that was the wrong answer.

"I can keep an eye on him just fine!" She retorted. Naruto made a placating gesture, and Sasuke walked a couple of feet away to brood in a corner.

A muffled voice came from the common room, which Team 7 recognized as Lee's, "Hello! What are you, a Slytherin, doing in the Griffindor common room?"

"… Well, that's not a very nice thing to say… someone else who came in through the window? If you didn't notice, not many have the youthful energy to run straight across a wall…"

"… I see two ways we can do this." Sakura said quickly, "One, I go straight to the Ravenclaw common room and you, Naruto, get Sasuke to the Slytherin common room, before coming back here. Either that, or the other way around, you go straight into there…" she jabbed a finger at the Fat Lady, "… And I'll take Sasuke to the Slytherin common room, before going to the Ravenclaw common room. I'm in favor of option B."

"But Sakura…" Naruto looked nervously at the Fat Lady. Hiei was starting to become audible behind it, "Why can't we go with option A?"

Sakura was silent for moment, debating on whether or not to tell Naruto that they _were_ going with option B. She decided not to, however, when Hiei suddenly became quiet, and she guessed that Lee wouldn't be able to buy much more time.

"Option C, then." She said quickly, "We both take Sasuke to the Slytherin common room, and then get back to our own common rooms."

"Alright!" Naruto spun around, "… Which way is the Slytherin common room?"

"This way." Sasuke said through gritted teeth. He sprinted through one of the corridors without looking to see if they were following, and Naruto and Sakura followed.

Rounding a corner, a certain blue-skinned Akatsuki member sprang into view. Sasuke gave him one glance, and didn't slow down. Until, of course, Kisame pulled out a huge sword-like thing in a sudden motion and laid it across their path. Sasuke skidded and stopped with his head one foot away from the side of the blade. Naruto and Sakura slowed to stop behind him.

"What are you doing?" Kisame asked quietly. Team 7 didn't respond, and he lifted the sword out of their path, but they didn't start moving. Footsteps started echoing in a distant corridor, coming closer, and Sasuke and Sakura disappeared in puffs of smoke. Naruto glanced up at Kisame warily, and then disappeared, as well.

"Interesting." Kisame said simply as he listened to the extremely rapid footsteps coming in his way. Team 7, behind him, gave him one last look, and took off.

* * *

Sakura made a sign as she, Naruto, and Sasuke continued to close distance with the Slytherin common room.

"Is it working?" Naruto asked as Sakura scowled.

"The mental barriers are immensely strong." She said, sounding strained, "Maybe… just a little more…"

* * *

Hiei's eye twitched as he felt something odd in his mind. He would have ignored it, except that it felt awfully uncomfortable. And it seemed to be trying to do something…

He scowled and pulled off his headband, allowing his Jagan Eye to open, and push out the nuisance.

* * *

Sakura sighed as she let her hands drop, "No good. He has something powerful guarding his mind, so genjutsu won't work. Not at my level, anyway."

"We've reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room." Sasuke announced, sliding to a halt, "Scram."

"Why you…!" Naruto said loudly.

"Not now, Naruto!" Sakura grabbed his wrist and started running down another corridor. Naruto followed reluctantly, glaring back at Sasuke.

* * *

Hiei slid to a halt in a corridor as he heard the now two pairs of footsteps fading in opposite directions. The third had disappeared a while back. He frowned, and started chasing after one, but stopped when he saw that it was Naruto.

And the third one had disappeared at the Slytherin common room, so it was probably Sasuke. Meaning that there was at least one ninja who was not in Griffindor or Slytherin, but that hardly helped.

* * *

Kurama stood up as Hiei came into view, looking somewhat irritated. He, Yusuke, and Kuwabara had stopped following when Hiei had gone out the window.

"Lost them." Hiei grumbled. Kurama sighed.

"What!?" Yusuke yelled.

"How could you_lose_ them?!" Kuwabara demanded. Hiei glared at him.

Kurama yawned, and his eye twitched rapidly as a beam of sunlight came through the window. They hadn't gotten any sleep at all…

* * *

Itachi sat at his desk, writing on some parchment. To any casual observer, or anyone who did not see what he was writing, nothing would seem out of place.

Itachi looked over his report, which was written in kanji:

_Our suspicions would appear to be correct. All fifteen appear to be eleven years old. Appearances can be deceiving, though, so we will proceed with caution. The two jinchuuriki are in different Houses, but this should not pose a problem. What may present an obstacle is the immortality. We will not take action until we find out whether it will or not._

_We will, unfortunately, have to bring them back to our time period before we can extract the bijuu._

Nodding in satisfaction, Itachi rolled up the parchment, sealed it, and tied it to the leg of a barn owl.

* * *

I apologize for not updating last week. There were several details in the chapter that I still needed to work out. 

I find it interesting to note that, with Team 7's first names, they're all six letters (three syllables total, each), and the second letter is always "A", while the fourth letter is always "U". O.o

Bonus: If Fred And George Got To Itachi's Letter (And Had The Resources And Knowledge To Mess With It)

_Our uncertainties would emerge to be truthful. Each and every one of the fifteen appears to exist eleven years aged. Manifestations may be regarded with distrust, though; accordingly we resolve to carry on in the company of vigilance. What may possibly turn out to be a hindrance is the immortality. We shall not obtain act until we discover whether it will or will not._

_We will, alas, have to convey them back en route for our point in time before we will be able to extort the bijuu._


	35. More Than Half Asleep, A Small Audience

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, HP, or Naruto

(Japanese)

Naruto was trying very hard to stay awake… he caught himself as his head started to droop again.

If it hadn't been for the unnatural control that he had in the field of waking and sleeping, he figured he would be snoring by now. The thing was, he had never in his long life actually stayed up all night sprinting. Sprinting for the most part, at least, though there were some times when Hiei had slowed down slightly, and by the end of the night the four of them were jogging, but still…

The hand Naruto was using to prop up his head slipped, and his face went crashing into the desk. Sasuke had ended up as bad as Naruto, because Naruto had more endurance, but Sasuke wasn't running at full speed. Sakura had fared worse than both of them put together (because putting them together would be comparable to adding negatives).

"Mister Uzumaki!" McGonagall snapped, "Do you need me to add to your detention?"

"Huh…?" It didn't register in Naruto's mind what McGonagall had just said; he was too busy wondering how long it would be before he could take a nap.

McGonagall walked over to him, "How late were you up last night?" She asked sharply.

"Late… last night…" Naruto mumbled, trying futilely to concentrate.

"And please speak in a language I understand." McGonagall added.

"N-nani? Ano…" He just couldn't concentrate… he was finding it difficult to even think.

"Five points from Griffindor. I'll see you after class." McGonagall ordered, returning to the front of the room.

Kuwabara gained a look of great deliberation. Naruto had been speaking in Japanese, so he _must_ be a shinobi…

* * *

"I noticed you didn't get any sleep last night." Lee remarked, as he and Naruto walked out of the Transfiguration classroom.

"Yeah…" Naruto mumbled.

"By the way, McGonagall told you she wanted to see you after class." Lee reminded him.

"Hmm…" Naruto nodded, not really hearing him. They walked past McGonagall, who raised an eyebrow. She had heard them, of course. Deciding that dragging Naruto to her office now would be useless, since he probably wouldn't hear her, she determined to drag him to her office after he was awake enough to listen.

* * *

"I can't believe they think Snape is… is… a shinobi!" Naruto said loudly, trying to use his sheer volume to stay awake. He had been thinking of saying "one of us", but opted not to, "His aim is ½ of a centimeter off!"

"And _how_ do you know this?" Kiba asked.

"Well… Snape gets kind of mad when you do something teachers don't want you to do…" Naruto replied. The Reikai Tantei, nearby, looked up, interested.

"Like skipping detention?" Yusuke asked.

"Picking fights?" Kuwabara wondered.

"Knowing more than them?" Kurama inquired.

"Killing people?" Hiei finished.

"Uh… yes. Just not to the last one." Naruto answered. If he had been awake and alert, he just might have noticed that he had been talking loud enough for them to hear him easily when he had been expressing shock that they thought Snape might be a shinobi. But then, though he didn't realize it, he thought of them far differently when he was talking to them as friends than when he was eavesdropping on their… interesting conversations.

"Naruto, shouldn't you try to get a nap?" Kiba asked, "You could really use it…"

"Nap? Why would I need a nap? I've stayed up all night training before…" Naruto's voice trailed off, and he swayed slightly.

Shikamaru heard, from his position close by (Ravenclaw had Transfiguration right after Griffindor today), and fervently hoped he wouldn't have to intervene.

"Oh, yeah, you weren't there, Kiba… you see… we were on a mission to–"

That definitely went too far. Shikamaru sighed as he stepped into view, "Naruto, you need to sleep."

Naruto blinked at him, "Oh, hi, Shikamaru. I was about to tell Kiba about when–"

"Just get some sleep." Shikamaru repeated, "You're going to need the energy."

"He already needs the energy." Kiba pointed out.

"Well, obviously." Shikamaru conceded. He was acutely and uncomfortably aware of the Reikai Tantei standing hardly five feet from them.

Naruto looked like he was about to object, so Shikamaru leaned by his ear and whispered, "Get some sleep. Now. If you, Sasuke, and Sakura have enough energy then perhaps at lunchtime we can practice. With dancing."

Understanding and excitement entered Naruto's eyes, and he dashed down the hall, hopefully toward the Griffindor common room. Shikamaru's eye twitched. He still had enough energy to run…

"What did you _tell_ him?" Kuwabara demanded, "_Everyone_ in Griffindor has tried at least once to get him and Lee to just go to bed at night, and _eventually_ they always do, but they take forever! You wouldn't _believe_ how long into the night those two duke it out!"

Shikamaru chose his words carefully, "I just promised to do something for him at lunch." It was technically true; Shikamaru would be the one organizing the practice, so he was, technically, going to do something for Naruto. Of course, this was assuming Sasuke and Sakura got some sleep… which they _probably_ would.

* * *

Malfoy grinned as he looked at the puppet… thing, "I wonder why Kankuro lugs these things around?" He remarked. Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari had just left the common room with Sasuke, and would hopefully not be back soon.

"This thing is _heavy_!" Crabbe huffed, as he tried to pick up Temari's fan.

"What is this filled with, rocks?" Goyle wondered, handling Gaara's gourd, "Wait… that looks like _sand_."

Malfoy shrugged. He had gotten quite irritated at the three siblings, as they always seemed to think they were superior to him, and thus acted condescending when talking to him (when they _deigned_ to talk to him). But they would pay… they would _so_ pay…

No one treats a Malfoy like he's inferior.

* * *

It was too bad Neji couldn't make it; he was still recovering in the Hospital Wing. Apparently, a few ribs that had been cracked before were broken now, so he would be staying there a little longer than previously expected. The worst was that Neji was one of the dancers, but that wouldn't pose too much of a problem.

Shikamaru looked over the group. Among the fifteen, all the kunoichi, and five shinobi were dancers, the five boys being Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, Neji, and Lee. Whenever the dance type required them to dance in pairs, there was a structure that Shikamaru had personally set up so as to avoid troublesome incidents. Unless the dancing required the pairs to change, there was a strict list of who danced with whom, namely, Naruto with Ino, Sasuke with Temari, Kiba with Sakura, Neji with Tenten, and Lee with Hinata.

It would have been a bit more flexible with Kiba, Neji, and, perhaps, Lee, but Sakura and Ino looked for any possible excuse to dance with Sasuke, so Shikamaru kept the rules tight in that area, because if either Sakura or Ino were to dance with Sasuke, the other would blame Shikamaru, and the only thing that could follow _that_ was more trouble. To a lesser extent, Shikamaru did all he could to keep Naruto from dancing with Hinata. To let those two to dance with each other, after all, would be somewhat cruel to the poor Hyuuga kunoichi. He couldn't prevent it all the time, however, due to the dances that required one to switch partners every now and then, but every time Naruto danced with Hinata, she was always down for the count for two hours afterward, at least (assuming she didn't faint before they started dancing, or during the dance).

Now what was taking Shino so long?

* * *

"Hiei, they're A to B-class!" Kurama protested, "And we're trying to be friendly! It's very likely they'll take that as a sign of hostility!"

"I don't see your point." Hiei snapped. He was very chagrined that Kurama didn't want him to forcibly find out who all the shinobi were by means of his Jagan Eye, "And I've seen no evidence that they're much more powerful than the rest of the humans here."

"Do you think they'll just show off every bit of power they have in a place like this?" Kurama asked, "Despite how they act, they're still shinobi. That rank, or title, or whatever you want to call it, must have _some _significance."

"Yeah, it means they're human, like everyone else here."

"Hiei, _don't_."

"Why not?"

"There's no point in knowing who they are if it turns them into enemies."

"Then _when_?"

Kurama took a moment to answer, "If the Wizard Exam doesn't work."

Well, he had to say _something_ to keep Hiei happy.

* * *

Shino raised an eyebrow. Wizard Exam? That sounded interesting…

* * *

"Everyone's here…" Shikamaru muttered. Everyone except for Neji, but that was predictable.

"What's going on?" Zabuza asked, coming into the bowl. As soon as he came into view, tension seemed to skyrocket as he entered a staring contest with Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.

Shikamaru grumbled a little and stepped between Zabuza and Team 7, "We're just going to be doing a little practicing on these instruments. Actually, how about you and Haku listen? It's been a while since we've had an audience."

Zabuza muttered something and left the bowl to get Haku.

"I hope I haven't gotten rusty…" Ino said, nervously clutching her microphone.

"Anyway…" Shikamaru tapped his fancy stick. When that didn't do anything, he put down the stick, made a sign with his hands, and sent his shadow in thirteen directions, effectively getting everyone's attention. He put his hands down, the shadow returned, and he opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted by the arrival of Haku, Zabuza, and… Neji?

Naruto, of course, was the first to point and shout, "Weren't you in the Hospital Wing?!"

Neji looked at him impassively, "I'm practically recovered, thanks to Sakura."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at Sakura, who had a somewhat guilty look on her face as she said, "Well, I figured the best way to catch up on sleep without suspicion was to turn myself in to Madam Pomfrey. It worked... though... when I saw Neji, I just thought I might help a little… so after Madam Pomfrey left, I kind of… helped the repairing process… a little…"

Neji folded his arms, "I'm not _fully_ recovered, but I was getting really tired of being in the Hospital Wing."

"What if Madam Pomfrey finds out you left?" Temari asked.

"I left a bunshin back there. I'll go back after this."

Shikamaru rubbed his head in annoyance, "It's troublesome, but fine. If Madam Pomfrey catches you, you can't expect us to try to cover for you."

"I know." Neji replied, as Shikamaru knew he would.

"We won't be doing pair dancing." Shikamaru announced, "We'll be playing… Synthesis."

"Nani? Why Synthesis?" Kiba demanded.

Shikamaru wasn't sure himself. Perhaps it was because he had been feeling depressed recently, and didn't know why, or perhaps it was because he was just agitated, and wanted to surprise the others. He picked up his conducting stick without respoding, and walked in front of the instruments.

Synthesis, as the shinobi and kunoichi had dubbed it, was a song that they had actually composed in Home. For that reason, the only time they had ever played it was just after composing it, after which they didn't like thinking about it, let alone playing it.

"This should be interesting." Zabuza commented, grinning behind his mask and putting his hands behind his head as he watched Naruto and Sasuke, who were once again glaring at each other.

Shikamaru tapped his stick, and dead silence fell over the room, "We'll need all the instruments, so Sakura, Hinata, and Neji won't be dancing." Neji had the acoustic piano, Sakura had the acoustic drums, and Hinata had the harp, "I won't ask if everyone's ready." He raised the stick, brought it down in a somewhat sharp gesture, and music filled the bowl.

There were no voices. The music seemed to float through the dome, fast, but repetitive. It gave a melancholy impression, almost frustrated, and very depressing. Zabuza absently thought back to the time before he had died, and his plans of taking over the Hidden Mist Village. How those plans had been disrupted, and Naruto had caused him to regret how he had thought of Haku just before he kicked the bucket.

Shaking himself from those unhappy thoughts, he examined the various instruments, and marveled at how they blended such diverse instruments. He tried not to look at Lee, who was dancing while playing a bagpipe. The dancing was flawless, and nice to watch, but with the bagpipe, and Lee being Lee, he figured it might give him nightmares.

The music stopped abruptly, and Zabuza blinked, slightly surprised at the sudden silence, though that dark music still played in his ears.

"It's supposed to just go on like that." Shikamaru explained, "In circles. It takes a while for the music to finish a circuit and start over, and we only did half a circuit, but we've got time constraints, what with being students and all."

"It was beautiful." Haku commented politely.

"Yeah… beautiful…" Zabuza thought he detected a trace of resentment in Shikamaru's voice.

"Better be getting back now." Kankuro interrupted, "Before those two get in a fight." He jerked his head toward Naruto and Sasuke, and Shikamaru nodded, walking to the exit and sending an unspoken signal that they were finished.

* * *

Not much I can think of commenting on here. 


	36. A Matter of Music, More Potions, Review

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"_Welcome to the realm of sleep. You haven't been here for a while, would you mind sharing with the rest of us why that is the case?" Temari inquired of Team 7. The others stared at her, wondering where _that_ had come from. With that clipped, clear tone, she sounded like some sort of person from a commercial._

_Naruto immediately got into the mood, "Oh, just an overly inquisitive fire demon. He kept us up all night, just dying to find out the secret to my awesomeness."_

"_I suppose that's why he kicked your first clone in the face, sending it's smoke right into his comrades as they rounded the corner." Sakura snapped._

_Kiba blinked, wondering what the deal was with the unusual amount of sarcasm tonight. It sounded like some sort of public interview, except that everything they said dripped with sarcasm. At least Sasuke didn't seem to be joining in. Of course, if he _did,_ then Kiba wasn't altogether too sure that he wouldn't pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming._

"_Maybe he just wanted the real deal." Chouji pointed out._

_Naruto immediately pounced, "Exactly!"_

"_How about a word from he who might as well dwell here?" Temari moved her hand as if holding a microphone, stopping it right in front of Neji, who looked slightly startled, "As far as my calculations go, the few times Neji is not here, he's unconscious. Seldom is the time he's actually awake."_

"_Calculations?" Tenten challenged. Temari gave her a look that dared her to argue._

_It seemed like a game… Kiba blinked, remembering a time a couple of centuries ago when Naruto and Lee had created a game like this… someone would say something that popped into their head, and someone else would reply. It usually turned into a kind of act. There was no real point, of course, as Naruto and Lee had created it to creep everyone else out…_

(Flashback… just so you know…)

"Welcome!" Naruto yelled at his audience of thirteen, plus a dog, "We're just on our way back Home, and I can tell you, the trip won't be pretty!" He was holding one of the microphones, and Lee, beside him, was holding another.

"In the land of kunoichi, Sakura and Ino have both thrown a fit, yelling that they want to stay 'just five more years'." Lee said.

The sound of nerves popping was almost audible, as murderous intent started floating around.

"Tenten is determined to enjoy the time before returning, and has dressed up in green, robbed people, left some money in front of hovels, and called herself 'Rahbeenu Hoodo'." Naruto added.

A grinding noise came from the audience, sounding suspiciously like one knife scraping on another.

"Temari has been sulking in corners ever since that newspaper boy ripped her fan. Incidentally, his funeral service is today, in case anyone here was unaware." Lee continued.

"Hinata has just gotten up from her comatose state, which she went into after I asked her if she wanted to come shopping with me. I'm still wondering what happened." Naruto said.

"Come back in one century, and we might be back, just waiting to announce what's happening in the boys' world!" They both finished with a flourish.

(Exiting Flashback… but I'm sure you already knew that…)

_Of course, Kiba reflected, they had gotten revenge on Naruto and Lee the day after…_

* * *

"What's with the decorations?" Naruto asked, looking around the pink room. There were little (dead, rotting) bunnies hanging from the ceiling, and a couple of little kittens were playing in a corner, apparently unaware of the carcasses dangling twenty feet above their heads. 

The only inhabitants of the room were the Sand Siblings, Sasuke, and Shino. It was time to go back Home, and Chouji had asked Naruto and Lee to get them.

"We wanted to do something before leaving." Shino said quietly, "What do you think of the weather?"

"It's quite youthful!" Lee replied, "But it's time to go now…"

"We'll be there soon." Sasuke said, picking a little cup from off the table, "Would you like some tea?" He offered the cup to Naruto, whose eyes widened in startled surprise.

"T-t-_what?!_" Naruto demanded.

"Tea." Sasuke said calmly, taking a sip.

"Here." Kankuro brought his hands up, and Karasu stepped out of the shadows, holding two more teacups. A couple of maimed bunnies hung from its waist, implying that it had been the one to hang them up.

"Say, Gaara…" Naruto said suddenly, "Do you have a fever or something? Your face is really red…"

"Uh… it's nothing…" Gaara replied in a small voice.

* * *

_After Naruto and Lee had been sufficiently scared, it had been revealed that Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata had been using hekke (A/N I think that's what it's called…) to pose as the four shinobi. Sakura and Ino had talked Hinata into being Gaara, where she wouldn't have to say anything (or at least, they had assumed she wouldn't have to say anything). The others had watched by means of a camera hidden in one of the stuffed bunnies (which had come from Sasuke's stash. He got one stuffed animal each year and 'refurbished' it. For the most part, these stuffed animals were bunnies)._

_After the incident, it had turned into a game. Surprisingly, it was among the more fun things they did, because, for the most part, their minds remained solely on whatever topic they happened to be following, which was always changing. Thus, it was comfortably pointless._

"_Kiba? Kiba!" Naruto yelled in his ear. Kiba jumped, he had been so distracted that he hadn't noticed where the conversation went._

"_What?" Kiba asked._

"_Akamaru is trying to say something." Naruto explained._

_Kiba looked at the little white dog, who barked. Kiba's eye twitched, and looked around. Sure enough, Neji was nowhere to be seen, and Kiba could feel the unchecked emotions that indicated Neji was unconscious._

"_What did he say?" Ino asked._

"_It was the clone's fate to get kicked in the face."_

* * *

Shino relaxed against the wall of Hagrid's hut, bugs skittering about silently and bringing in various random reports. He had been on edge ever since those two… Akatsuki… had shown up, and the issue of Haku and Zabuza had been bugging him. Something was going on… something … but what was it?

He watched Team 7, who were talking (i.e. arguing, yelling, screaming, punching, brooding, etc…) a little way away. His gaze shifted slightly as he noticed some sudden movement, coming in his direction. It was Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were running toward Hagrid's hut. The resident of pre-mentioned hut was sitting on the steps, playing a little tune.

"Hagrid, who gave you the dragon egg?" Harry demanded abruptly, "What did he look like?"

Shino raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno." Hagrid answered as if Harry had asked the most casual question in the world, "Never saw his face, he kept his hood up."

"This stranger though…" Harry persisted, "You and he must have talked."

"Well he, wanted to know what sort of creatures I looked after…" Hagrid replied, "I told him, I said 'after Fluffy. A dragon's gonna be no problem.'"

"Did he seem interested in Fluffy?" Harry asked.

"Well of course he was interested in Fluffy!" Hagrid exclaimed, "How often do you come across a three-headed dog, even if you're in the train? But I told him, I said, 'the trick with any beast is to know how to calm him.' Take Fluffy for example, just play him a bit of music and he falls straight to sleep!"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at each other, slightly panicked, and Hagrid finished, "I shouldn't have told you that…"

"Well, Sasuke's music would never put _anything_ to sleep." Naruto commented.

"You're no lullaby player yourself. At Sasuke is _cool_ about playing music." Sakura retorted.

Naruto didn't much like where this was going, and thus decided to see if he could move the subject a little, "Well, I bet Shino's music would give it nightmares!"

Shino twitched, "Do not assume that a person you talk about cannot hear you." He said. Naruto yelped, and Sakura looked startled. "He was standing in plain sight." Sasuke muttered, wondering how Naruto and Sakura could have missed him. Though, to her credit, Sakura quickly recovered. Naruto, on the other hand, was still pointing and looking shocked.

"You can… play music?" Hermione said slowly, as if trying to get it into her brain that such an insane idea was possible.

"Of course!" Naruto stated. He had certainly made a fast recovery at the mention of playing music… "I play the acoustic guitar, Sakura plays the acoustic drums, and _he_…" He jabbed a finger in Sasuke's direction, "Plays the electric guitar."

"You said Shino's music would give Fluffy nightmares…" Harry commented, "What does he play?"

"Electric piano." Naruto promptly replied.

"Do you play together or something?" Ron asked.

"Of course! All the time!" Naruto paused for a moment, on the verge of saying "dattebayo". He did that a lot, but was slowly getting used to not saying it. He was considering replacing it with the English equivalent…

"Does anyone else play with you?" Hermione asked. She was curious as to how many shinobi there were here, who they were, and why they acted so… odd. She could find no similarity whatsoever between Naruto and Sasuke, and had recently come to the conclusion that Sakura was a shinobi, as well. But could find no pattern, at all. By the way Naruto was talking, it sounded as if Shino was a shinobi, too…

"Well… there's–" Naruto was cut off by a fist colliding with his head, and he flew several feet away, though he landed on his feet in a somewhat unexpected show of dexterity, glaring at Sasuke, "What was that for!?"

Sasuke just glared back, apparently in no mood to explain his reasoning for punching Naruto's cranium.

Naruto, now very mad, decided to continue, just to tick off Sasuke, "I was just saying…" He trailed off in satisfaction as Sasuke immediately sprinted toward him and clapped a hand over his mouth.

"_Idiot_." Sasuke hissed, "She knows we're shinobi. It's obvious she's trying to find out who _else_ is a shinobi. Who knows what she might let slip to Kurama? And if you didn't notice…" His scowling countenance changed to one of neutrality, "… Shino was about to silence you if I didn't."

Naruto paled, and felt a few bugs crawling on his arm ominously. However, he was still mad at Sasuke, and wanted retribution. Perhaps he would find a way to play a prank on him later…

"Ugh! Why do they act like that!?" Ron demanded, frustrated, "First Potions, where they're at each others' throats, then the troll, where they worked together _perfectly_, and now they're at each others' throats again! Why!?"

Naruto and Sasuke glanced at Ron, and both said at the same time, "What's_his_ problem?"

Sakura just smiled at them, sweat-dropping.

* * *

Neji walked slowly through the corridor. Madam Pomfrey had finally allowed him to leave the Hospital Wing, and, predictably, his first class was Potions…

"Hi, Neji!" Naruto yelled, "You're finally better! What took you so long?"

Neji scowled, not answering. He had often heard Madam Pomfrey muttering to herself when she gave him that brew. Mostly it was something like "cursed, but not…" or "how is this possible?" After researching curses and such, he had deduced that the reason it had taken so long for his bones to be repaired was because the "broken" aspect was caused by something with a magical element, or some such. Though not enough to make it impossible for Madam Pomfrey to fix, it drastically increased the amount of time that fixing took.

"Greetings, Naruto… Neji!" Lee exclaimed, "… I challenge you!"

"Later…" Neji grumbled, walking into the classroom.

After the Griffindor and Ravenclaw first years took their places, Kisame entered the room.

Looking over the students, the blue-skinned Akatsuki member held up a wand, making several deft movements and leaving a shimmering map thing hanging in the air, "I've arranged your seating so that the skills will be balanced." He said shortly. There were several groans as the students stood up and moved around. Neji's eye twitched as he looked at the map, and saw one desk pictured near the front of the room, which had his, Naruto's, and Lee's names. Now that he looked closely, every desk had three names… and Kisame had put both Kurama and Kuwabara near the back, and Shino, Shikamaru, and Sakura near the front. Neji's eyes narrowed. Just how much did this guy know? It seemed as though he didn't want Kurama or Kuwabara near any shinobi. Why? To keep them from learning anything the… Akatsuki… might not know? But that wouldn't make sense…

Although, Neji felt quite certain that it wasn't coincidence.

"Today we will try something a little different." Kisame stated. He held up a parchment, "There is one of these on each desk, with instructions on how to make a specific potion. Many of you will be trying different potions, to make sure that no one cheats off of anyone else." Neji noticed many crestfallen looks at this, "Begin."

Lee immediately grabbed the cauldron, and Naruto did the same. They both tugged, and Neji wished he wasn't sitting in between the two. It was a good thing Naruto and Lee got along so well, because they looked at each, and both let go of the cauldron. Lee picked up a couple of ingredients and Naruto picked up the parchment lying on their table.

They might have worked well together, if only they didn't try to move so fast, as if every second counted. It was _first year_ potions, for crying out loud! You'd think their lives were on the line…

Scratch that, you'd think what freedom they had was on the line.

Neji sighed, and wished he hadn't opened his mouth as bits of potion flew into it. He spat it out immediately, and looked for the culprit. It turned out to be Lee. The shiny-black-haired taijutsu user was stirring the potion at incredible speeds. Or at least, incredible to the other students, as many stopped and stared at the whirl of liquid, air, and flesh at the mouth of the cauldron. It greatly resembled a colorful tornado.

Kisame, sitting at his desk, pulled some parchment out of a drawer, picked up a quill, and started writing something. Neji narrowed his eyes at the way his hand was moving. Something was out of place there…

Activating Byakugan, he leaned back and tilted his head down as if he was taking a nap. Naruto and Lee would manage without him.

His eyes shifted upward, and he watched the way Kisame's hand was moving a little closer. One eyebrow tilted curiously as he made out what Kisame was writing by the way his hand moved. It was kanji…

…_They seem to not be trying to conceal themselves in any way. A landed fish could tell they were shinobi._He mentally translated, _That's English grammar… which makes an interesting code, maybe I should try it some time._

"Lee, slow down, would you?" Neji said, irritated. As he spoke, more potion drops flew into his mouth, and he spat them out again. He was starting to feel slightly light-headed. Naruto had turned his head and shut his mouth tightly to keep the mixture out, but it still hit his face.

"Yeah, fuzzy-eyebrows!" Naruto said quickly, not opening his mouth more than necessary, "I can't see what you're doing!"

Lee thought for a moment, and decided to comply. His rotating arm went from 200 mph to 50 in a split second.

Neji's eye twitched as he saw that the potion was half the volume it was supposed to be, at most.

"Is it supposed to be that low?" Lee wondered, slowing down to 25 mph.

"I guess so…" Naruto said thoughtfully, "Let's see…" he looked at the parchment, "It says 'stir until the potion reaches a clear azure color.' What would you call that color?"

"Pink." Lee said wisely.

"Uh… maybe it'll turn out right if we just…" Naruto glanced at the parchment, and dumped something into the mixture, "Say, Neji… is the troll blood supposed to be red or blue?"

"Red." Neji snapped.

"Dang." Naruto looked at the two vials he was holding. One was empty (it was what he had dumped into the mixture), and one was filled with a thick red liquid, "Troll blood is gross anyway." Lee paused mixing for a moment, allowing Naruto to drop the vial into the cauldron, before starting up again, and going at 10 mph. Neji blinked as he realized that he still had Byakugan activated, which was why he could tell exactly what speed Lee was stirring at. He decided to ignore it for now, and deactivate Byakugan later.

"I wonder what that guy's writing…" Naruto remarked, looking at Kisame.

"I'll look." Lee said. Neji's eyes widened, but by the time he looked up, Lee was already back.

"Something about fish. A lot about fish, actually." Lee replied to Naruto's questioning look, "The last thing that I read, he was comparing someone's brain to fried fish. Oh, yeah, and it was in kanji."

"Oh." Naruto sounded disappointed, "Oh look! It's yellow!"

"Makes me want to throw up, just looking at it." Neji muttered.

"What do the instructions say it'll be when it's done?" Lee asked.

"Golden yellow…" Naruto said, staring at the mixture. He didn't even seem to hear Lee.

"Okay." Lee took the spoon out. Well, it was a spoon once upon a time. Its tragic story was brought to a dramatic end as the acidic liquid viciously tore off its head. Lee looked curiously at the stick he now held, shrugged, and dropped it in the potion, which suddenly changed from golden yellow to lavender.

Naruto looked disappointed, "Aw, I like yellow…"

"It was supposed to end up as deep green." Neji said quietly, holding the parchment.

There was a sudden loud explosion, and he felt something powerful slam full force into his face. There was a cracking sound, but Neji could hardly tell anything apart from the ringing in his ears. He was vaguely aware of some gasps and such, and felt himself slipping toward an oblivion that had become all too familiar these past few weeks. Or was it hours? No, it was at least days… he tried to feel that time-sense in his head, but the ringing was throwing everything to chaos. The black wave closed over him, and he slipped into nothingness.

* * *

"Unconscious." Lee muttered disconcertedly, poking Neji, "Again."

"It's too bad we broke the bench thing." Naruto remarked, looked at the shattered wood. There were several splinters of varying sizes sticking the three shinobi Griffindors, but none of them noticed (it would be kind of hard for Neji to notice).

"Mr. Kuwabara." Kisame addressed, quiet control in his tone, "Take Mr. Hyuuga to the Hospital Wing."

"Why me?" Kuwabara demanded.

"Do not make me repeat myself, _boy_." Quiet control disappeared in an instant, and Kisame glared at Kuwabara, who gulped, and started inching toward where Neji was obliviously laying. The inching sped up as Kisame continued to glare, and by the time Kuwabara reached the door after picking up Neji, he was sprinting.

"And just when he got out, too." Sakura sighed.

"I pity him…" Ron agreed, "Poor guy is as bad as Neville."

"Speaking of which…" Shikamaru muttered, looking toward another ruined desk, whereat a lump of robes lay, "Professor Hoshigake…" it felt slightly odd to be addressing someone that was almost certainly an enemy like this. So troublesome…

Kisame raised an eyebrow at Neville's comatose form, and twitched, "Shuuichi, take him out of here." He snapped. Kurama looked slightly startled that Kisame was so irritated, and quickly but calmly picked up Neville and walked out.

Shikamaru realized with a start that Kisame had just gotten rid of the two Reikai Tantei members in one fell swoop. It was the end of the class, thankfully, but he was reminded of the positions of authority that Itachi and Kisame held, which was probably Kisame's intention.

"I don't feel so high-quality…" Naruto said, his face gaining a shade of green, "I assume a large quantity of potion found its way into my maw… dattebayo…" With the last word, he collapsed. Lee caught him before he hit the ground, and decided that if he couldn't get Naruto to the Hospital Wing before Kuwabara got Neji there, he would do five hundred push-ups before he went to bed.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Temari asked menacingly. Malfoy shrank back, hiding behind Crabbe and Goyle, as the Sand Siblings seemed to loom over them. Malfoy was quite suddenly feeling very small and… young. Temari seriously seemed to be looking at him as she would a very small child. Kankuro had a similar look, though Gaara was impassive as ever.

"You want to do something about it?" Malfoy asked once he was behind the cover of his lackeys.

Temari gained a patient look, "Let me make something _very_ clear. You _do not_, under _any_ circumstances, mess with our equipment. Is that understood?"

Crabbe stood erect, albeit shakily, "Who made _you_ the boss?"

"Boss of what? My own items?" Temari asked sweetly, "Or your life? The answer to both is obvious: me."

"This applies to me, as well." Kankuro pointed out.

"What about him?" Goyle asked, pointing toward Gaara. Crabbe nudged his arm warningly.

"He doesn't care." Kankuro answered dismissively, "Now… I see you cracked a couple of joints on my puppets."

"I noticed a _tear_ in my fan." Temari added. The three Slytherins they faced unconsciously took a unanimous step back.

Unfortunately, when Malfoy took a step back, his arm bumped a standing lamp, which tipped a book on a small shelf, creating a chain reaction. Books knocked each other down like dominoes, and the one at the edge (a very large tome, with ornate, heavy-looking binding) fell off, hitting Gaara's head.

Temari's eye twitched as Gaara was instantly knocked unconscious. She had been joking earlier, only meaning to engage a small duel where she and Kankuro would humiliatingly beat Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle into the ground to teach them a lesson about respecting a person's property… but now that they had knocked out Gaara…

It would be the same, just a bit more painful…

She cracked her knuckles.

* * *

Neji leaned back, scowling, as he had been doing for the last half hour. Naruto and Gaara were both in the Hospital Wing, and he was feeling quite irate.

It was only fueled as the door opened and the demon twins sauntered in.

"Thought you just got out of here!" Fred exclaimed, feigning surprise. Neji's scowl deepened.

"You seem to be in a bad mood." George commented.

"Something wrong, mate?" Fred asked cheerfully.

"Let's just say…" Neji said, grinding his teeth, "I was wishing to kill something I can't. I want to escape from somewhere I'm not, as well as from something I am. And time and again my thoughts turn toward something that does and doesn't exist."

"… I didn't get any of that." George said, perplexed.

"Me neither." Fred added, smiling.

Neji settled back, satisfied. The killing and escaping parts had come from Kyuubi and Shukaku, who, like Naruto and Gaara, were unconscious. Though the second escaping part was referring to his immortality. The 'does and doesn't exist' part had been referring to Home.

* * *

Fred rolled down a large board with a huge list of names on it, and pulled out his wand. George faced him, holding a quill and notebook.

"Starting with our own House, Griffindor, we only have one top suspect: Lee. Naruto is, by all appearances, a ninja. He even said so…" Fred sounded kind of like he was trying to convince himself, and George felt the same way. When one thought "ninja", one did not think anything close to someone like Naruto. "And then there's Neji, of course." He tapped his wand on the board next to Neji's name, where it said "Contacts".

"For this reason, we continue to investigate. This is also why we're trying to investigate Gaara and Ino, who are both suspects at the moment." He tapped the two names, and the words next to them, which also said "Contacts".

"Similarly, but with no progress so far, we investigate Shino. Like Gaara and Ino, he is suspect." He tapped the name, and word next to it, which said "Glasses".

"Probably suicidal to be trying to figure out something like that." George commented, "A nice bit of excitement in an otherwise boring year…"

"Moving to the next house, Hufflepuff, we know only one ninja, and don't have that many suspects, and no really suspicious ones. The one we can be sure about is Hinata. It has yet to be seen whether she's Neji's sister, or cousin (or niece or aunt or something like that). Sister is most likely, due to age." Next to Hinata's name was also a little note that said "Contacts".

"I vote twin sister." George announced. Fred flicked his wand, and a gray line that connected Neji and Hinata's names with the little title "Unknown Relation" turned gold, and said "Twins".

"Now that that's decided, we can move to the next House, Ravenclaw, in which we are sure about Sakura being a ninja, and suspect Shino, and, to a lesser extent, Shikamaru. He could almost be dropped off entirely, except that a number of odd things occurred when we tried that little trick on Christmas, so for now we'll be keeping him."

"Did you see Ron's face when Naruto talked about the volume of that bowl?" George said, not even trying to suppress his laughter.

"It's too bad we couldn't get a picture of it." Fred said dreamily, "But anyway, that just leaves Slytherin. By far, this House has the most suspects, but the only one we can be sure is a ninja is Sasuke." He tapped the board, "Going down the list, the next most suspicious is Draco, one of those Malfoys. We could go on and on through this list, but there are three just above Crabbe and Goyle who I think are worth note."

"Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro." George replied, looking at his little notebook.

"Correct." Fred said, tapping the three names, "It's very odd for three students, the same age, same last name, and yet no known magical relatives to all have magical ability. It could just be coincidence, but we'll monitor them."

"Finally, among the professors, we have two suspects." Fred tapped the names, "Snape and Quirrel. Curious that they should both catch that little disease at the same time. Snape, of course, is Snape, so he came up as a suspect immediately. Quirrel didn't take much longer. The fact that there's something on the back of his head is obvious, the problem is finding out what it is."

"I think it's a ninja." George said, scratching something in his notebook.

"Yeah, me too." Fred replied absently, examining the board, "Now we can go over this again. Somehow, the largest group of ninja are contacting each other, as well as getting orders from somewhere (credit goes to Kurama or Shuuichi or whatever his name is for learning that). Naruto and Sasuke seem to tend to spend time with each other, Sakura, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Naruto and Lee duel every night in the common room, without using any wands, I might add. Every time Sasuke sees that substitute, Itachi, he tries to kill him. It seems so wrong, for someone to try to kill his brother… let alone the brother hardly noticing…"

"I thought Naruto and Sasuke were bad…" George muttered, "But then, they do cause a lot more damage…"

"Anyway, Itachi is a ninja, but apparently in a separate group from Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Neji, and Hinata. Kisame is obviously with him, but are there others? If so, then that might be where Snape and Quirrel fit in."

"I suppose it would make sense…" George scratched something else in his notebook.

"The thing is, if we look at Naruto, we see everything opposite to what one would expect in a ninja." Fred said, looking hard at the chart, "But it we look at Sasuke, we see everything one _would_ expect in a ninja. To a lesser extent, if we compare Sakura and Neji…"

"… 'Don't judge a spell by its incantation.'" George quoted, "That's why we decided to put both Lee and Snape on the list."

"You have a sharp, convincing point." Fred conceded, "By the way, I hear Ino was acquainted with Sasuke before coming to Hogwarts. Her rivalry with Sakura is also suspicious, but all the more so with this new information." He flicked his wand, and Ino's name slid up the board to sit right below Hinata's. "Then there's that Orochimaru guy. Naruto hates him, and Sasuke apparently doesn't care much. So far, it seems pretty safe to say that he was the creepy thing in the Forbidden Forest. Not the one drinking the unicorn blood, but that other one."

"Probably another ninja. You know, this seems to be going pretty deep." George said, "We've got Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Neji, Hinata, and ten others that we've not found out about (_yet_) in one group, and then Itachi, Kisame, and probably more in another. Orochimaru might not even be in either of these, but a group all on his own. I don't think Sasuke would feel indifferent about someone who had a connection with Itachi. Kisame is a perfect example."

"Yeah." Fred agreed, "That makes three ninja groups, at least. All with connections to each other."

"You know…" George remarked thoughtfully, "These ninja might be a lot less suspicious if they didn't seem to form a pointedly tight-nit community." Fred nodded in agreement.

* * *

When do Harry, Ron, and Hermione start being referred to as the Golden Trio, anyway? I don't think it would be first year…


	37. On A Day Like This

Disclaimer: I do own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Neji turned a page in the book he was reading. Out of the confining Hospital Wing again, he was attempting to catch up on homework, and had made remarkable progress. Fred and George entered the room, and the temperature seemed to drop several degrees.

"It's a beautiful day outside, mate." Fred remarked. Neji did not look up. _What do they want _now? He wondered.

"What are you doing inside?" George asked. Neji took a deep breath.

"One day." Neji said, turning to face them, "what is significant about _one day?_ It lasts a mere twenty-four _hours_. It is a minuscule fraction of a year, which itself goes by faster than we can keep up with. What _possible_ significance could _one day_ have?" Fred and George looked at each other meaningfully.

"So…" Fred said.

"How old are you?" George finished.

"… What?" Neji asked.

"Don't play dumb." "We know you're not eleven." The twins replied, "Twenty?" "Fifty?" "Hundred and two?"

"…" Neji blinked. They already knew that he was a shinobi, but what else might they know? Apparently enough to know that he wasn't the age he appeared to be, but not enough to guess anything anywhere near his real age.

"Right now we're trying to find out who your ninja buddies are." Fred said.

"…" Words cannot describe just how Neji expressed his feelings through his silence. It seemed to saturate the air.

"We're currently investigating Snape and Quirrel." George added.

"…?"

"By the way…" "That Malfoy kid wouldn't happen to be one…" "Would he?"

"???"

"What about your girlfriend?"

"…?"

"You know…" "That one in Ravenclaw."

"…?"

"No, it was the one in Hufflepuff." "Oh, that's right." "It gets really confusing with all these new Asian students… wait…"

"…"

"Anyway, that one in Hufflepuff. Tenten…"

"… …"

"What about Ino?"

"… … …"

"Hinata?"

"!!!" Any respect that Neji might have had for the twins disappeared then and there.

"This isn't going anywhere." Fred said, sighing. George nodded in agreement, and they bade Neji farewell as they walked out the door, whispering to each other.

* * *

"Hello, Naruto!" Fred called cheerfully. Naruto stopped walking and returned the greeting just as cheerfully.

"Say, we never had a chance to ask how that love potion we gave you back at Christmas worked…" "… Did it?"

"Um…" Naruto had almost forgotten that painful day, "Not really…"

"Oh, well." "We can give you another one if you'd like…" "… Guaranteed to work!"

"Uh, no thanks! I'm just fine without it! Datte–… Believe it!" Naruto stammered, holding up his hands and backing away quickly. Perhaps the English equivalent would work… it felt slightly awkward to be replacing "dattebayo", but it felt even more awkward when he left that empty space after just about everything he said.

"What a shame…" "… And it was sure to work, too…"

"No, really! It's fine! Keep it! Da– Believe it!"

"Well…" "… If you're sure…"

"Neverbeenmoresureofanythinginmylife!" An image of when Sakura and Tenten had caught him flashed in his mind, and he started sweating.

"Say, Naruto…" George said, shooting Fred a glance.

"Hm?"

"Who are your… shinobi… buddies?" Fred finished.

"Nani?!" Naruto yelled.

"What?" George wondered, confused.

"I don't know anyone called 'Nani'… do you?" Fred asked, perplexed.

"How do you know… that!?" Naruto demanded.

"Just a little digging here and there… I don't know anyone call 'Nani', either…" George replied.

"Anyway, we currently know about you, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, and Neji… we did agree that those two were twins, right?" "Right."

It took a moment for Naruto to register what they had said. Wait… Neji and Hinata? Twins?

A sudden loud laughing filled the corridor, and Naruto doubled over as he tried to catch his breath, "Twins?! You think…" he couldn't continue, as another laughing fit seized him.

"Naruto, what are you doing?" Sakura asked, coming around the corner.

"Sakura… they think…" Naruto pointed at Fred and George; "They think…" he started laughing again.

"What am I missing?" Sakura demanded, getting slightly irritated.

"They think Neji and Hinata are _twins_!" Naruto said loudly. Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"And why would you be talking about things like that?" She asked suspiciously. Naruto's laughing stopped abruptly as he saw the murderous look in her eyes.

"Well, uh, you see… they apparently know that we're… shinobi, and all that… and… they just…" Naruto gulped, as Sakura's look got increasingly murderous, and he decided that now was about the time to skedaddle.

* * *

Chouji happily munched on chips just outside the Transfiguration classroom. Shikamaru sat next to him, taking a nap. Chouji hardly noticed when Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran past, though they managed to wake up Shikamaru, who looked at where they were a fraction of a second ago, shrugged, and leaned back to catch a few more Z's.

Unfortunately, they were talking a little too loud to comfortably sleep through without covering his ears with something. But then, they had his attention at "hello", or the lack thereof.

"We have to see Dumbledore! Immediately!" Harry yelled from inside the room.

"I'm afraid professor Dumbledore is not here." McGonagall replied, in a quieter tone, "He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and left immediately for London."

"He's gone?" Harry exclaimed, dismayed, "But this is important! This is about the Sorcerers' Stone!"

Moment of silence, "How do you know–"

"Someone's going to try and steal it!"

"… I don't know how you three found out about the Stone, but I assure you it is perfectly well protected. Now would you go back to your dormitories? Quietly."

Shikamaru relaxed… interesting…

His relaxation didn't last long, as Harry, Ron, and Hermione stopped just outside the classroom.

"That was no stranger Hagrid met, it was Snape." Harry said. Shikamaru stood up and walked away, and Chouji followed. They had both seen the professor that Harry had just mentioned walking down the corridor in their direction, and neither wished to be present when Snape reached the three (Shikamaru specifically wanted to not be there, though Chouji was a little more indifferent about it).

* * *

"… Which means, he knows how to get past Fluffy."

"And with Dumbledore gone–" Hermione began.

"Good afternoon." A menacing voice said, behind them. Harry, Ron, and Hermione spun around, "Now what would three young Griffindors, such as yourselves, be doing inside on a day like this?"

"Weren't you at St. Mungo's or something?" Ron demanded without thinking.

"I just got back." Snape replied coldly.

"I-I… w-w-w-we were just…" Hermione stuttered.

"You ought to be careful." Snape said quietly, "People will think you're…" he tilted his head, "… up to something."

As the professor walked away, Hermione whispered to Harry, "Now what do we do?"

"We go down the trapdoor." Harry said simply, "Tonight."

"Down the what?" Naruto interrupted curiously. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who had, sadly enough, gotten used to Team 7 popping up whenever something happened, weren't surprised when he hopped into the open.

"There you are!" A furious voice screamed. Uh oh… Sakura had found him.

"Um…" Naruto didn't have time to run as Sakura charged toward him, so he ducked, pulled a small white flag out of nowhere, and started waving frantically, "I give up! I give up!"

"Why, you…!" Sakura skidded to a halt and glared down at him, cracking her knuckles.

"Now the only one missing is Sasuke…" Ron sighed. It really was sad how much they had gotten used to this.

"Sasuke? Where?" Naruto's head snapped up, and he looked around quickly, dropping the white flag.

"I said _missing_." Ron muttered.

"Except that he's here." Sakura pointed out.

"What? Where?" Ron looked around, in a way similar to what Naruto had just been doing.

"There." She stated, pointing toward a column. Ron blinked, and walked slowly toward the pillar, inching around it until he saw the familiar dark-haired Slytherin, who looked almost as if he was sleeping, propped up against the support.

Sasuke cracked an eye open, and Ron yelped, jumping backward.

"Anyway…" Naruto began, his face a picture of concentration as he tried to remember why he was here, "… You said something about going down a trapdoor."

"About that…" Hermione said evasively, "It's just…"

"They mean the one that three-headed dog was standing on." Sasuke interrupted, stepping out from behind the column, "On the third-floor corridor. You remember, right?"

"Of course I remember!" Naruto retorted, offended, "The dog that Hagrid said you needed to play music for to put to sleep. Wait… there's a trapdoor there?"

"Yes." Sasuke snapped, "You going down there…" he turned to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, "Wouldn't happen to have anything to with this 'Sorcerers' Stone' you keep talking about, would it?"

"No!" Harry lied quickly.

"I see." Sasuke said curtly, turning and walking away briskly. Harry blinked as he realized that Sasuke almost looked like a mini Snape.

After Sasuke disappeared around a corner, there was a moment of somewhat awkward silence. Sakura cleared her throat, "Ahem… I have some studying to do… c'mon, Naruto!" She made a beckoning gesture and hurried after Sasuke, Naruto following. Harry narrowed his eyes, something about what Sakura said seemed awfully suspicious.

* * *

Sakura slowed down quickly as she rounded the corner. Sasuke, who was standing there, started walking again, and Naruto caught up soon.

"You stopped after you were out of sight." Sakura commented, "Meaning you want to say something away from them?" By 'them', she of course meant Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Sasuke nodded, "I wouldn't put it past Orochimaru to become… very interested… in the Stone."

"But… wouldn't he just…" Sakura said tentatively, "You know…"

"He would obviously prefer to possess me." Sasuke said bluntly, "But that wouldn't keep him from becoming interested in it."

"But if he's just interested…" Naruto put in, trailing off. They had entered a rather large area, with a crowd of students.

Sasuke stopped and abruptly changed direction, hissing, "They followed us."

Naruto blinked, followed quickly as he felt carefully, and recognized the presences of Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Nosy kids." Sakura muttered. Naruto nodded in agreement, both conveniently forgetting how they had butted into the majority of Harry, Ron, and Hermione's discussions.

"Looks like we lost them." Sakura remarked.

"In any case…" Sasuke finished, "I don't think Orochimaru is going to leave the Sorcerers' Stone alone."

"Well, I suppose you would know him better than either of us." Naruto commented, turning and leaving.

"I suppose Naruto's right there." Sakura remarked, following.

Sasuke watched them go, his mind elsewhere. Itachi would probably have left by now… but he was probably still in this time period.

* * *

The shadows in some random cave shifted, and silhouettes of light came into view.

"No details have been observed. As such, we don't know if this 'immortality' will pose a problem for collecting the Kyuubi and Ichibi."

"Hmph."

It was a short report, and had already been said in Itachi's letter, but they had to inform the others, as well.

"Kisame?"

"The four looking for them are idiots. Even if they _did_ pose a threat, they wouldn't know enemies from allies."

* * *

Sorry for not updating last week.


	38. And There Was Much Planning

Disclaimer: I do not HP, YYH, or Naruto

"… Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered. He and the other shinobi and kunoichi were in the bowl, and had just finished practicing. "However, I think it would be best to try to remain uninvolved with major things in history, and judging by the effects of this 'Sorcerers' Stone', I think that counts."

"But–!" Naruto tried to protest. He had just explained to Shikamaru about Harry, Ron, and Hermione going down that trapdoor, and how he was hoping to follow them.

"He has a point you know." Sakura sighed, "I mean… as much as I don't want to say it, we're not really part of this."

"Orochimaru isn't, either." Tenten pointed out.

"Judging by the effects of this 'Sorcerers' Stone'," Kankuro repeated sarcastically, "… It's unlikely someone isn't going to destroy it for some reason or another. I mean, look at it. Immortality? Someone isn't going to like the idea of someone else becoming immortal, or something like that. How long do you think it'll last? Five years? Ten?"

Shikamaru let out a deep breath, "665 so far. Who knows how much longer it'll last?"

"Well, _eventually_ someone's got to find out about it and dislike it enough to try to get rid of it. It may even happen a few times before the thing's gone." Sakura pointed out, apparently persuaded by the others.

"It _might_ affect history, but we're here anyway, aren't we? It's really depressing to think that we shouldn't be part of anything just because we can't die." Temari added.

"And even if it _does_ affect history," Tenten added, "It would just be words on paper if recorded, and if not, then it'll be completely forgotten a hundred years from now, if that!"

"We _did_ come to have some fun, didn't we?" Kiba asked, a slightly mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Yeah! Dattebayo!" Naruto yelled. It felt very relieving to be able to say that.

"I think it sounds great." Ino stated.

Shikamaru sighed, though a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth, "I suppose I can't really say I wasn't hoping you'd disagree with me." Silently, he added, _or that I didn't see it coming._

"Well, then. We need to decide who's going." He stated, his mind wandering elsewhere, "You can do that…"

He sat down, cross-legged, and made a little sign thing with his hands. The others looked at him curiously, but only Chouji gave more than a passing glance.

Shikamaru closed his eyes, thinking. Only a minority of his thoughts was in words, the rest went too fast to be formed by such a restricting system. Incidentally, the words, which replayed the conversation they'd just had at a speed a human mouth couldn't keep up with, were the base of the reason.

_Judging by the effects… it's unlikely someone isn't going to destroy it for some reason or another… someone isn't going to like the idea of someone else becoming immortal, or something like that… who knows how much longer it'll last…_ _well, _eventually_ someone's got to find out about it and dislike it enough to try to get rid of it. It may even happen a few times before the thing's gone…_

_It's really depressing to think that we shouldn't be part of anything just because we can't die._

Shikamaru started to feel slightly agitated.

* * *

Much concussion… ah,_ discussion_ later

* * *

"So anyone who wants to go will have to meet up with their team at a specified area at sunset, and then go to the trap door and proceed from there." Lee finished, "The area will have to be specified by the team, to make sure that it will be convenient." 

"If you get caught and sent back to your dormitory, probably with a detention, then it's your own fault for being unbelievably clumsy." Kiba added.

Shikamaru inwardly sighed, _Now it's assured Naruto's going to get caught… or perhaps not, if he's really determined to go… but I get the feeling this isn't going to go smoothly._

…_Things like this never go smoothly._

* * *

"So Dumbledore wants us to go trail three students, some of the _few_ we can reasonably be sure are _not_ shinobi…" Yusuke ranted. It was really getting on his nerves that they couldn't figure out anyone beyond Naruto and Sasuke. 

"It's for safety purposes." Kurama pointed out, "Dumbledore is fairly protective of his students."

"I can't wait to tell Yukina of my heroic deeds performed in this mystical school!" Kuwabara yelled.

_Like getting detention regularly, or barely managing to keep up with your classes?_ Hiei wondered darkly, sitting in a dark corner with an ominous black cloud over his head. Being among so many human children was bad enough, but now he had to _protect_ some?

_All ningen are crazy…_

"Shut up!" Kuwabara yelled, and Hiei realized that he had spoken his thoughts out loud (albeit quietly), but he could hardly care less.

"So… what were we supposed to do?" Yusuke asked.

Kurama sighed, "Just go down the trap door. Tonight."

* * *

"Well, this is easy." Kankuro commented, "We don't even need a rendezvous point, since we're all in the same House. Just head for the third-floor corridor after sunset." 

"I suppose we're going to have to wait for Team 7 to leave first." Temari remarked, "Otherwise Sasuke is going to be alone until they go to meet up."

"Or we could leave first and say we didn't." Kankuro disagreed, "I mean, what are the odds there will be enough time between our departures for him to meet up with Orochimaru? _Maybe_ if we went just as the sun started setting and they went at midnight…"

"I suppose you have a point." Temari said grudgingly, "And maybe if he actually got the five minutes or so to himself, he'll stop giving off that murderous aura. It's really hard to relax enough to sleep with that hanging in the area. And even when that's managed, it's hard to keep from waking up knowing that the source is so close."

"You have no idea." Kankuro grumbled, "It's a lot worse when you're in the same room."

"…" Gaara put in an amazing amount of input, if "zero" counts as amazing. Not that any of the Sand Sibs noticed; it would be _really_ amazing (and perhaps a tad disturbing) if he actually decided to add anything on the subject.

* * *

"Two Hufflepuffs and a Ravenclaw…" Kiba sighed, "So, what? We meet near the Ravenclaw common room, or the Hufflepuff common room?" 

"We meet near the Hufflepuff common room." Shino stated in that tone that left no room for argument.

"Yes, sir." Kiba said casually (and a little sarcastically), "Now, what to do with the homework today? If I let Akamaru eat it again, Dumbledore might decide not to let him stay, after all. But if I don't, what can I tell the teacher? I think Professor McGonagall is on to me…"

"Um… Kiba?" Hinata said timidly, "Wouldn't it be easier to just do the homework?"

Kiba waved it off, "Practical application is much more fun than all these essays and such…"

An ellipsis was almost visible over Hinata's head. Practical application, huh? In other words, using the wand to do something. From the start, Hinata had taken a liking to her wand… she just didn't like using it…

* * *

"_Let's try this one." Ollivander said kindly, handing Hinata yet another wand, which fit quite comfortably into her hand. Unlike the others, however, this one didn't just cause a little dust to stir up when she flicked it (Ollivander had remarked quite a few times that she shouldn't be so hesitant about it)._

_Instead, it sent a horde of wand cases flying in every direction. Toward Hinata, toward Ollivander, straight to the floor at a high speed, making them spill their contents when they rammed into the wood… a few even went out the windows, causing Ollivander to pale, and a few shoppers to scream._

_Other than that, it was a very friendly-feeling wand, and Hinata got the impression that it liked her._

_She barely registered the impression, however, as she looked at the mess, "I-I'm so sorry… I'm sorry, I–"_

_Ollivander drew in a sharp breath, "It's fine… just… take the wand… and go…"_

"_H-Hai… ano… yes, sir!" Hinata practically ran out the door._

_(Hyuuga Hinata – Pine, Sunflower Seed, 13 in.)_

* * *

"We'll be meeting near the Ravenclaw common room." Shikamaru said, "Since both we and Team 8 have two members in Hufflepuff, and one in Ravenclaw, I worked it out with Shino beforehand." 

"What's wrong with meeting in the same place?" Ino asked.

"Because it doubles the chances of someone being spotted in that area." Shikamaru explained, "It's probable that we'll all be going at different times, so by meeting at different areas, anyone at an area where a group is meeting will see only that group, and no others. That's a worst-case scenario, though. Even if there happened to be someone there, it's doubtful that they would have the awareness to notice the group. Now that those two Akatsuki are gone, no one knows what they're looking for." He then added to himself, _it's not foolproof, but hopefully we'll at least get through the meeting stage without incident._

Chouji happily munched on his ever-present chips.

* * *

"Hey, Neji!" Fred yelled in greeting. Neji froze, and was suddenly caught in a deep, philosophical question: _Use my wand to destroy their energy flow, or ignore the wand and Rokujyuuyon Shou them to a month or so in the Hospital Wing?_

"Suppose you would still mind telling us who your ninja buddies are?" George asked hopefully.

"It's not like we'll tell anyone." Fred added.

"Go die." Neji snapped, _wand… or no wand? So hard to choose…_

"Ah, well, at least it's still fun guessing!" George said.

"Say, Neji…" "We were talking to Naruto earlier…" "And he seemed awfully surprised…" "When we mentioned our hypothesis that you and Hinata are twins…"

Neji blinked… twins? What kind of idiots _were_ they?

"Well, see you later!" "Mr. Nephew!"

Neji blinked again, and wondered if they could fall under a category of "Idiot" somewhere close to Naruto. Then he realized that he hadn't hit them with his trademark technique yet.

"Hey, Neji!" Tenten called, "We're going to be meeting up near the Griffindor common room!"

"Be there!" Lee yelled, making it sound suspiciously like a challenge.

Neji's eye twitched.

* * *

"Well, we've got a bit of a problem." Sakura remarked, worried. She, Naruto, and Sasuke were sitting around in some random empty room, "We're the only team whose members are in three different Houses…" 

"Couldn't we just meet up in the third-floor corridor?" Naruto asked.

"Filch tends to hang around that place a lot, and I seriously don't think it's a good idea to try incapacitating him." Sakura argued.

"What's wrong with incapacitating him?" Naruto demanded, "He deserves it!"

"Naruto!" Sakura reprimanded, "… Well, he is kind of a jerk… but don't you think it would be bad if someone, especially a professor, found the caretaker unconscious somewhere. Or worse yet, conscious but unable to do anything?"

"What are the odds of a professor showing up?" Naruto asked, "'Cause it's not like students are going to do anything about it."

"We wouldn't have to incapacitate him." Sasuke interrupted, "Just sneak around him. _No one_ here would notice us slipping past, they all rely too much on sight, and _occasionally_ sound."

"Well, that's true…" Sakura conceded, "They wouldn't notice a slight change in temperature or wind currents unless they saw the open window, wouldn't notice poison gas unless it changed the color of the air, even if it had taste and smell, and they don't notice Harry, Ron, or Hermione under the Invisibility Cloak, period."

"So we can just rendezvous in the third-floor corridor, dattebayo!" Naruto concluded.

"But we still have a problem." Sakura sighed.

Naruto blinked, "What would that be?"

"Sasuke can't be left alone."

"Oh, right…"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed in irritation. He had been trying to find some way to contact Orochimaru. There was so much he wanted to know… but they hadn't given him a chance to ask.

"Maybe we can meet at the entrance to the Slytherin common room?" Sakura suggested.

"Okay!" Naruto agreed.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed a little more, "Tch."

* * *


	39. Through the Trap Door

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"It seems that the last recipe was far more popular than its predecessors." Dumbledore announced cheerfully, "We hope that this final one will be similarly successful."

Ron looked apprehensively at the… stuff, and asked, "What's with that unnaturally spicy-looking red color?"

Lee's eyes shined, and he slowly placed a hand on his spoon, "The Curry of Life… yes… and youth… much youth…"

A few students scooted away from the disturbing thick-browed shinobi, as fire seemed to leap in his eyes, and he ceremoniously lifted the spoon.

Naruto shivered, and scooted away from both Lee and the shining red brew.

All ceremony vanished as Lee started stuffing himself with the deadly Curry. Naruto felt his throat sting just watching, and he turned quickly away, trying to focus on his ramen.

The moment Lee finished his third serving, he turned to Naruto, "Want some?"

Naruto smiled nervously, "Actually, I'm stuffed. I think I had too much ramen." He replied quickly, even though he hadn't even started eating.

Lee, unfazed, turned to Neji, "You must try it! It's even more youthful than the other Curry of Life!"

Neji gave him a disgusted look, "No."

In no time at all, the twins were on either side of him, "Come on!" "It tastes great!"

Neji looked at them skeptically, and started gathering chakra in his hands, "And do you know this from experience?"

"Well…" "Not really…"

Lee pounced on his next targets, "All who taste this will know youth as they've never known it before!"

"Eh, heh…" "I think our homework is calling…" They hurried away, almost running.

Neji's eyes narrowed. They got away again…

* * *

Neji sat up. It was getting late, but he wouldn't be going out with Lee and Tenten for perhaps another half hour, so he decided to spend the small amount of time relaxing.

Deciding to try to think about something other then the no-doubt arduous task ahead (he didn't want to go, but Tenten and Lee did, and Tenten was very adamant about not going alone with Lee), Neji examined his wand…

* * *

_Neji walked into the shop, feeling quite relaxed. Until he saw the… messy aftereffects of Hinata's wand, and the shopkeeper, kneeling on the floor, holding the remains of a broken wand._

_Neji curiously picked up a wand lying on the floor, and looked it over, admiring the smooth feel._

_He walked over to Ollivander, who was muttering, "Never even had a chance to choose a wielder…"_

_Kneeling down to the old man's level, the wand that Neji was holding loosely bumped the one Ollivander held. There was a flash of light, and the shattered wand was suddenly in one piece. Ollivander's jaw dropped in shock, and he held up the wand._

_Neji's eye twitched. Were those tears of joy? This guy was deranged…_

_Ollivander looked at the wand Neji held, and his eyes narrowed, "That's… interesting…"_

"_What?" Neji asked, standing up._

_Ollivander stood up, as well, "Would you happen to know a girl about your height, dark hair, kind of purplish? She was here not long ago…"_

_Neji had seen Hinata hurrying out of the shop right before he went in. His eyes narrowed as he nodded._

"_You wouldn't happen to be related, would you?"_

_Neji blinked, "Why?"_

_Ollivander turned around and started picking up wands and cases, and putting them away, "Well, it just so happens that the wood for your wands was taken from the same tree, although while hers was taken from the tree itself, yours was taken from a branch. Also, the magical component in hers was a sunflower seed, while yours is a petal, from the same flower."_

"…"

"…_Never mind…"_

_(Hyuuga Neji – Pine Branch, Sunflower Petal, 13 in.)_

* * *

Neji looked up in mild surprise when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and watched as Harry and Ron got up and walked quietly out.

He shrugged, and returned to examining his wand.

* * *

Harry hurried down the stairs with Ron and Hermione, but stopped when he reached the bottom and saw a somewhat familiar frog.

"Trevor." He said.

"Trevor!" Ron hissed, "Go! You shouldn't be here!"

"Neither should you." Neville retorted, rising from the chair, "You're sneaking out again, aren't you?"

"Now, Neville, listen…" Harry tried to say.

"No, I won't let you!" Neville interrupted, "You'll get Griffindor into trouble again! I-I'll fight you!"

"Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this." Hermione apologized in advance, stepping forward and drawing her wand, "Petrificus Totalus!"

Neville froze, and fell to the floor with an abrupt bump.

Ron gulped, "You're a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant, but scary…"

"Let's go." Harry said, and then added to Neville as he walked past, "Sorry."

"It's for your own good, you know." Ron said to Neville.

* * *

"Just don't tell the others." Kankuro warned.

Sasuke almost smiled, "I won't."

Kankuro did not feel very reassured, but he had been getting _really_ tired of that aura. No one but himself and Temari were really annoyed by it, but Gaara wasn't really disturbed by something like that, and no one else was stuck in the same common room as Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura probably spent enough time around him to notice, but apparently they either didn't care, or spent so much time around him that they _didn't _notice.

Kankuro abruptly turned around, and left the common room with Temari and Gaara.

Sasuke smiled, and a small snake slithered out of its hiding place in a crack in the wall.

* * *

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked slowly down the third-floor corridor. Not really because they were trying to be quiet (though they were), but rather because it was somewhat difficult for three people to fit under Harry's Invisibility Cloak.

"Ow, you stood on my foot!" Hermione snapped.

"Sorry…" Ron apologized.

The door came into view, and a seemingly disembodied hand reached out, holding a wand, "Alohomora."

The lock clicked, and the three young Griffindors stepped into the room.

"Wait a minute…" Harry breathed quietly when he saw Fluffy, "He's…"

A blast of wind blew the Invisibility Cloak off, "… snoring…"

Harry looked around warily, and noticed the harp sitting in the room, "Snape's already been here." He observed, "He's put a spell on the harp."

"Ugh…" Ron commented, wrinkling his nose, "It's got horrible breath."

"We have to move its paw." Harry said.

"What?" Ron asked.

"Come on!" Harry replied, bending down. Ron and Hermione followed obeyed.

"Okay. Push!" Harry ordered. The three of them heaved against the huge paw, managing to push it off the trap door.

Fluffy breathed a little deeper, and the three backed away slowly as they were hit by another snore.

Hermione lifted the trap door, and they looked down into the darkness.

"I'll go first." Harry said decisively, "Don't follow until I give you a sign. If something bad happens, _get yourselves out_." He stopped for a moment, "Does it seem a bit… quiet to you?"

"The harp…" Hermione realized, "It stopped playing."

There was a sound of moving thick liquid, and Ron put a hand on his shoulder to feel the fluid, "Ugh! Yuck!"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked up slowly, at the slobbering canine above them. "Jump!" Harry yelled, hopping into the pit of darkness. Hermione followed quickly, and Ron wasn't far behind.

* * *

Kankuro looked at Fluffy, who was apparently not happy about something. He was growling at them, and looked about ready to charge. Actually, he had charged twice already, and the Sand Siblings had absently dodged, while considering the most efficient way to… take care of it.

Well, they hadn't taken their trademark (over-sized) items for nothing. Gaara raised one hand in a somewhat bored fashion.

"Might as well not kill it." Temari reminded him. She really didn't care whether the thing died or not, but figured that it would be annoying if Naruto or someone threw a fit because they killed Hagrid's prize three-headed dog.

"Hmph." Gaara moved his hand slightly, and a large amount of sand rose from his gourd, rolled into a ball, and dealt Fluffy a hefty blow to the head, effectively dazing it enough for the three intruders to go through the trap door at a somewhat leisurely pace.

* * *

"Ah, finally!" Ino exclaimed as Shikamaru came into view, "What took you so long?"

"Filch. I think he's nocturnal." Shikamaru explained, "It was really troublesome avoiding him."

"Ah…"

"So we're going now?" Chouji asked.

Shikamaru sighed, "Yeah…"

* * *

Dumbledore calmly looked at the schedule. There had been no major incidents lately. Perhaps among the fifteen ninja, Naruto and Sasuke were the most volatile? That would be inconvenient…

Sighing, Dumbledore picked up a blank sheet of parchment. It looked to be about time to make preparations for the Wizard Exam.

* * *


	40. Showdown

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"**Animal talking.**"

"Whoa." Ron breathed as his fall was cushioned, "Lucky this plant thing's here, really."

"Whoa!" Harry yelled, as the "plant thing" started moving. The tentacles started wrapping around the three Griffindors, and despite their struggling, wouldn't let go.

"Stop moving, both of you!" Hermione ordered, "This is 'Devil's Snare'. You have to relax. If you don't, it'll only kill you faster."

"Kill us faster?" Ron demanded, starting to bounce, "Oh, now I can relax!"

Hermione gave him a look, and sank rapidly through the Snare.

"Hermione!" The boys yelled.

"Now what're we gonna do?" Ron asked, panicking.

"Just relax!" Hermione called from some point below.

"Hermione, where are you?" Harry asked.

"Do what I say!" Hermione replied, "Trust me!"

Well, when she put it that way… Harry took a deep breath, and sank through the plant.

"AAA!!! Harry!" Ron screamed.

Down below, Harry hit pleasantly hard ground. Ron's screams continued above them.

"Are you okay?" Hermione inquired.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Harry answered hurriedly.

Hermione looked up in the direction of Ron's cries, "He's not relaxing, is he?"

"Apparently not." Harry replied.

"We've got to do something!" Hermione said, frustrated.

"What?" Harry returned.

"I remember reading something in Herbology." Hermione said, wracking her brain, "Um… Devil's Snare, Devil's Snare… it's deadly fun… but will sulk in the sun! That's it! Devil's Snare hates sunlight!" Hermione triumphantly raised her wand toward the plant above them, "_Lumus Solem!_"

A powerful beam of light shot out of the wand, colliding with the Snare and freeing Ron, who fell to the ground unceremoniously.

"Ron, are you okay?" Harry asked, concerned.

"Yeah…" Ron muttered, then looked up at the Snare, "Whew! It's lucky we didn't panic!"

A moment of silence greeted this observation, which Harry broke, "It's lucky Hermione pays attention in Herbology."

There seemed to be a faint odd sound in the background.

"What is that?" Hermione wondered.

"I don't know…" Harry responded, "… Sounds like wings."

The trio went through a door into a large room, with hundreds or even thousands of little flying things hovering in the air.

"Curious…" Hermione remarked, "I've never seen birds like these."

"They're not birds…" Harry whispered, "… They're keys…"

Indeed, fluttering peacefully in the air with a little twinkling sound were a horde of keys… with wings.

"And I'll bet one of them fits that door." Harry continued, looking at a large sturdy-looking door on one end of the room. They stopped at a broomstick that was floating in the air with a beam of light around it.

"What's all this about?" Hermione wondered, looking at the broomstick.

"I don't know…" Harry replied. Over to the side, Ron drew his wand and walked to the door.

"Strange…" Harry muttered, moving his hand slightly above the length of the broom. There was a rattling sound as Ron tested the lock, "_Alohomora!_" More rattling.

"Well," Ron said, turning around, "It was worth a try."

"Ugh! What are we going to do?" Hermione asked, frustrated, "There must be a thousand keys!"

"We want a big, old-fashioned one." Ron said, "Probably rusty on the handle."

"There!" Harry yelled, pointing, "I see it! The one with the broken wing." He looked at the broom.

"What's wrong Harry?" Hermione asked when Harry hesitated.

"It's too simple." Harry replied.

"Oh, go on, Harry!" Ron encouraged, "If Snape could catch it on that old broomstick, you can. You're the youngest Seeker in a century!"

Harry nodded, slowly raised his hand, and gripped the broom. As soon as he did, however, the horde of keys fluttering in the air immediately turned their attention to him, and started diving in his direction.

"This complicates things a bit." Ron commented as Harry went off the ground slowly, the keys crowding around him. He slowly sped up, and managed to grab the key with the horde trailing behind him.

He dived toward Ron and Hermione, and yelled, "Catch the key!" As he threw said key at them.

Hermione grabbed it before it fluttered away, and stuck it in the keyhole as Harry flew from the mob of smaller keys.

"Hurry up!" Ron pushed.

There was a click, the door opened, and Ron and Hermione went through. Harry put enough distance between himself and the keys to fly through the door, and his friends shut it behind him, hearing a large quantity of dull smacks as the keys hit the door.

* * *

"Just DIE!!!" Kankuro yelled, hacking at the ugly… plant… with his puppets, while standing upside-down on the ceiling.

"That thing doesn't know when to give up, huh?" Temari wondered, sitting next to him.

"Makes me wonder if we underestimate wizards." Kankuro grumbled, withdrawing the puppets. He had already gone at the plant a few times, but hadn't managed to break through.

"Well, we've only seen lower level magic." Temari replied, "Perhaps it's like seeing students at the academy, and assuming that they're top shinobi."

"'Seeing students at the academy', huh? Well, it's not that interesting from the eyes of a… um…" He trailed off. 'Genin' would sound inherently wrong about now.

Temari gained a considering look, "Now that you mention it, I wonder what level we're at? Shikamaru's the only one who_officially_ became a chuunin, but…"

"If you're done discussing past ranks…" Gaara broke in, "I made a hole."

Kankuro and Temari looked down at the plant, startled to see that Gaara had, indeed, drilled a hole into the plant, and was keeping it open by lining the hole with a thick layer of sand.

Gaara stopped the flow of chakra to his feet and flipped in midair as he fell through the hole. Kankuro and Temari glanced at each other, and followed.

* * *

"Well, it seems Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro have been thorough." Shikamaru remarked, looking at the dizzy dog, "I don't think that will be necessary."

Chouji sighed, slightly disappointed, and put away his trumpet.

* * *

"So… Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji have already gone." Kiba remarked as he and Hinata approached the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room, where Shino was no doubt waiting.

"I guess…" Hinata said quietly.

Kiba suddenly walked right into an arm. He grunted slightly, and stepped back. Aforementioned arm pulled into the shadows, and Shino walked out, pointing at the floor.

"You nearly stepped on that bug."

* * *

After going through another door, the adventurous trio entered a dark room, with huge shapes looming above them.

"I don't like this…" Hermione murmured, "I don't like this at all…"

"Where are we?" Harry wondered, "A graveyard…"

"This is no graveyard." Ron announced quietly, walking forward, then louder, "It's a chessboard."

At this proclamation, fires lit on either side of the room to reveal that Ron was correct. It was, indeed, a chessboard.

"There's the door." Harry said, pointing beyond the two rows of white pieces. The three Hogwarts students walked toward the door resolutely…

… And found it blocked by a row of white swords.

After backing away sufficiently, the white pawns sheathed (kind of…) their swords, and Hermione gulped, "Now what do we do?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Ron asked, as if it was, in fact, obvious, "We've got to play our way across the room. Harry, you take the empty bishop's square." He pointed, "Hermione, you'll be the queen-side castle." Hermione nodded, "As for me… I'll be a knight."

The three took their positions, and Hermione asked, "What happens now?"

"Well…" Ron replied, looking at the other side of the room, "White moves first, and then… we play."

* * *

"What kind of… what _is_ that?" Kankuro wondered, looking at the large door, which had possibly thousands of little… _keys?_… Sticking in it. One of them started vibrating, pulled out of the door and starting fluttering peacefully into the air. Others followed it, in increasing quantities, until they were all crowding in the air. The last to pull out was a large rusty key, which had been in the keyhole.

Temari grabbed the large key before it could fly out of reach, and tried to stick it back into the keyhole. It would have worked, if the key didn't start struggling.

It managed to wriggle out of her grasp, but Temari was not going to be defeated so easily by a hunk of metal, and Kankuro had caught on. Gaara had, as well, but he decided to just sit through this one.

Kankuro raised his hands, and said quietly, "Kugutsu no jutsu…"

Temari raised her fan, pushing it in a sweeping motion, "Kamaitachi no jutsu!"

A flock of keys fell to the ground in pieces, and the large key got a chip on its handle trying to flutter away.

It didn't get very far, as it was snapped into the maw of Kuroari.

* * *

"Devil's Snare?" Ino wondered. She, Shikamaru, and Chouji were sitting on the wall, observing the huge plant.

"Yeah. It'll choke you to death if you struggle against it, but if you're relaxed, it'll let you go." Shikamaru explained. He wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, but was focused more on a seemingly scarred area of the plant. It was a circular area, with some noticeably large holes. If the appearance was anything to go by, it was covering a larger hole, probably broken recently. There was also some sand in that area.

"Here, I'll show you." Shikamaru jumped off the wall and onto the plant, near the sand. A tentacle-like limb wrapped around his shin. He assumed a relaxed pose, and started sinking rapidly through the Snare.

He landed lightly on his feet a few meters below, and called back up, "Your turn!"

* * *

"**I HATE YOU ALL!!!**" Fluffy howled as soon as Kiba, Shino, and Hinata entered the room.

"Whoa, what's _your_ problem?" Kiba wondered.

"**I think he's mad about something.**" Akamaru yipped.

"I see _that_." Kiba replied.

"**Master might get mad at me!**" Fluffy whined, "**I let people through the door! I was supposed to guard it, and I let people through!**"

"Hey, I'm sure it's not your fault." Kiba said soothingly.

"**Yeah.**" Akamaru barked in agreement, "**It's their fault for trying to get through!**"

"**But they **_**got**_** through!**" Fluffy moaned, "**And I couldn't stop them!**"

Kiba looked around the room as Fluffy howled in distress, and spotted a harp, _Lucky!_

"Say, are you tired?" Kiba asked. Fluffy's whining stopped abruptly, and he blinked at Kiba, not quite sure where the human was leading.

"Say, Hinata? Think you could play a tune on that harp, Yura Yura, maybe?"

"Uh… okay…" Hinata went to the harp, and started playing the soft music. Fluffy was out of it in two minutes flat.

* * *

"Come on, Neji! It's time to go!" Lee said excitedly. Neji drew a sharp breath in response to the volume, and stood up, following Lee out the common room.

* * *

"Stupid keys…" Kankuro muttered as he, Gaara, and Temari left the room with several little shiny objects lying on the floor, twitching. They hadn't grounded the entire horde, of course. That would just be a waste of time.

They went through yet another door...

An alarm went off in his head as he realized that they weren't alone in this new room. He slunk into the shadows and listened as the boy on the knight yelled a command.

* * *

"Seriously…" Ino remarked critically, looking at the wounded keys lying on the floor, "What's the point of sneaking in if you're just going to do _this_?"

"Hmm…" Shikamaru squinted at the keys still flying, and pointed at a large, somewhat abused-looking one, "Chouji, could you get that?"

Chouji smiled, and put his chips down for a moment, "Leave it to me! Bubun Baika no Jutsu!"

* * *

"Um, Kiba? You're supposed to relax!" Hinata called from below.

Kiba knew that Shino would be giving him a look right about now, but unfortunately, he had developed a grudge against the clingy plant, and had other ideas, "GATSUUGA!!!"

* * *

Fluffy opened his eyes slowly, and saw the door opening. Realizing it would be more people who would want to go down the trap door, he stood up woozily and growled.

Lee came through the door first, with Tenten and Neji not far behind. Fluffy sat on the hole that a trap door occupied once upon a time, and growled again.

Lee grinned, pulled a Scottish dress over his spandex, and pulled his bagpipes out of hammerspace.

Fluffy drew back when confronted by the gruesome image, but continued to snarl stubbornly. Neji and Tenten covered their eyes futilely, but the figure of Lee in a Scottish dress had already burned itself into their minds.

Lee grinned, and started playing "Loch Lomond".

Fluffy didn't last long.

* * *

"**Yes…**" The snake hissed.

"That's what I thought. Now, how does time-travel work?"

"**There are two kinds of time-travel, permanent and temporary, both of which put a strain on sanity. Temporary time-travel, which steadily drains chakra until you run out and are forced back to your own time, can be used multiple times, but you have to make sure that you recover from one jump before you attempt another, so you don't go insane.**" The serpent explained, "**Permanent, on the other hand, will drain chakra only so long as the jump lasts, and can only be done once, because once you've done a permanent jump, you can't go back without going insane.**"

"According to the book, anyway." Sasuke guessed.

"**Correct. Orochimaru-sama has done several successive temporary jumps, and there have been no changes in his attitude.**"

_I wonder why… _Sasuke thought sarcastically. He stood up as he felt two familiar presences approaching, and the snake slithered back to its hiding place as Sasuke left the common room to meet his teammates.

* * *

"Oh, looks like they stopped here." Ino remarked, looking at where the Sand Sibs had stopped to watch the progressing chess game.

Shikamaru followed her and Chouji absently, his attention on the game. His eye twitched as Ron made a move, and black destroyed one of the pieces. The red-haired Griffindor definitely appeared to be losing.

"Yo!" Ino whispered. Temari turned and waved slightly in greeting.

* * *

"Keys…?" Kiba wondered, picking up one of the casualties.

Shino looked up silently, and raised a hand, pointing at a large, rusty key that was fluttering in a somewhat tired fashion. Several bugs flew out of his sleeve, and apprehended the key, dragging it back to Shino.

A few more daring keys darted toward Shino, and Hinata reflexively sliced their wings off with Shugohakke Rokujuuyon Shou.

* * *

Lee jumped down first, seeing a dark plant-like thing below.

Down the trapdoor…

Through the air…

Toward the plant…

Through the plant…

There were a few snapping sounds as his weight-laden feet hit the tentacles.

Neji had activated Byakugan to watch, and sighed as he deactivated it and jumped down after Lee, with Tenten following.

* * *

"I think this thing has had a bad night." Sakura remarked, looking at Fluffy, who raised a head tiredly. The other two heads came up quickly, and he growled, apparently regaining some strength.

Naruto smiled. He had started to think that they wouldn't be able to… take care of Fluffy.

Hoisting their guitars, he and Sasuke looked at each other, smiling slightly in a friendly, and yet _not_, fashion.

Sakura put on an extremely thick pair of earmuffs, and raised one finger… two… three…

There was a blast of sound, and Fluffy reeled back.

* * *

"What's taking Urameshi and the shrimp so long?" Kuwabara muttered. He had just arrived at the meeting spot, the third-floor corridor. Kurama was already there.

"Hn."

Kuwabara yelped at the sudden voice, and his face reddened when he saw that Hiei had been standing right behind him, "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I would have waited until later, but your aura of stupidity compelled me."

"One of these days, I'm _so_ going to let you have it!"

"Before or after you're deceased?"

"… Both!"

"Hey, everyone! Been waiting?" Yusuke asked, arriving on the scene. Kuwabara and Hiei glared at him.

* * *

"Wait a minute…" Harry said, observing the board.

"You understand, right, Harry?" Ron asked, "Once I make my move, the queen will take me. Then _you're_ free to check the king."

"No, Ron, no!" Harry yelled.

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

"He's going to sacrifice himself." Harry told her.

"No, you can't!" Hermione protested, "There must be another way!"

"Do you want to stop Snape from getting the Stone, or not?" Ron retorted, "Harry, it's _you_ that has to go on, I know it. Not me, not Hermione, _you_."

Harry nodded slowly, and Ron looked up, "Knight to H-3."

It seemed to go in slow motion as Ron's knight made its way to the square. When it stopped, Ron whispered, "Check…"

There was moment of screaming silence, and the white queen turned slowly, sliding along the board. It raised its sword, and stabbed the black knight. Ron yelled as he fell to the board, unconscious.

"RON!!!" Harry screamed. Hermione took a step forward impulsively, and Harry stopped her, "No, don't move! Don't forget, we're still playing."

Harry walked slowly across the board and announced, "Checkmate." The sword that the black king held clattered to the ground, and the spectators watched silently.

Shikamaru breathed a mental sigh as he watched Harry and Hermione hurry to where Ron lay. Harry and Hermione exchanged some quiet words, and Harry stood up and walked to the door.

"Might as well follow…" Kankuro muttered, walking silently through the shadows. The others walked single-file behind him, none of them making a sound.

"Oy…" A voice whispered behind them. Chouji turned, startled.

"Yo." Kiba greeted, Shino and Hinata standing behind him, "I take it there was a bit of a hold-up here?"

"Something like that…" Shikamaru sighed.

* * *

"I suppose we just need to take out that–" Neji began, pointing at the most mistreated looking (and coincidentally the largest) key. He didn't get to finish, because Tenten already had a scroll out, and fired several odd projectiles (ranging from needles to kunai to shuriken to chef knives…), which hit not only the key Neji was talking about, but all the keys around it in approximately a foot radius.

Tenten picked up the key victoriously, and Neji sighed as Lee cheered.

* * *

Good thing Naruto and Sasuke left their guitars in the previous room, leaning against the harp…

Sakura got the feeling that telling Naruto and Sasuke that they had to relax would be somewhat of a wasted effort, so she thought for a moment and came up with another solution, "You know…" She remarked, "This plant hates sunlight…"

Almost before she finished, Naruto and Sasuke were charging their signature techniques. Thankfully, their hands were free, because they had landed on their feet.

Deciding that it might not be a good idea to stay up here when the two jutsu were fired off (she was only still up here to make sure Naruto and Sasuke knew how to get down), Sakura focused chakra into her hand and let it out as she punched the Snare. It seemed to ripple, and she fell through.

There was a huge explosion that left the plant in tatters, and Naruto and Sasuke came down, Sasuke landing in a somewhat more graceful manner than Naruto. At least, it seemed like he did to Sakura.

* * *

"… Do you think those kids could do this?" Yusuke asked, looking at Fluffy. The huge dog was curled up and shivering in its sleep, as if it was having a horrible nightmare (which it was… a nightmare involving the sound of bagpipes and guitars, a Scottish outfit, and, for some inexplicable reason, thick eyebrows).

Kurama's mouth twitched as he shook his head.

* * *

"Well, that's unexpected…" Ino commented quietly, watching as Harry walked slowly down the stairs towards _Quirrel_ of all people.

"You think so?" Shikamaru asked just as quietly.

* * *

"Looks like just about everyone's already been here." Neji remarked, following the chakra traces with his Byakugan.

"Is there anyone who hasn't?" Tenten asked.

"Naruto… Sasuke… and Sakura." Neji replied.

* * *

"I could try to punch our way through that door." Sakura offered, "Or we could try to get that key, and go through the conventional way."

"Huh." Sasuke looked up at the keys, made a few signs, and put a hand near his mouth. By this point, there were more keys lying on the ground than there were flying in the air.

"Katon! Gokakyuu no jutsu!" Sasuke slowly turned as he blew the lethal fire, to make sure to maximize the keys he took down. They fell like flies crowding around a bug trap.

Naruto felt the challenge, and immediately made a Rasengan. Just as Sasuke finished his circuit, Naruto rammed the Rasengan through the door, effectively obliterating it.

Sakura sighed, wondering if the two shinobi knew what "conventional" meant. But then, they probably did… they just didn't care.

* * *

"Well, this isn't a very attractive floor." Kuwabara remarked, "It isn't even that sturdy…"

"It's not a floor." Kurama whispered, paling, "It's a plant. It's called Devil's Snare, and no 'kids' could do this." A feeble-looking tentacle reached out to wrap around Kurama's ankle, and he bent down to stroke it soothingly.

"What's it supposed to do, choke you to death?" Yusuke joked.

Kurama gave him a look, "Yes."

* * *

Team 7 crept past Hermione and Ron, who were still sitting on the chessboard, and met up with the other twelve beyond the door, just as Quirrel started unwrapping his turban. Luckily, the two wizards were too absorbed in each other to notice the final team sneaking into the room, and around into the shadows to join the others.

"What's wrong with Quirrel?" Naruto asked. Sakura slapped a hand on his mouth when the turban was off Quirrel's head, revealing… a face.

It was a good thing she did, because Naruto would have let off a high-pitched yelp if she didn't.

"Can we interfere yet?" Kiba whined quietly (a truly amazing feat).

Shikamaru hesitated to answer. On one hand, Quirrel could probably be beaten by just one of the shinobi, let alone all of them. But on the other, there was something screaming in his mind that there was something he had missed… and it wasn't helped by the fact that ever since they had come to this school, there had been something nagging him at the back of his head, begging to be brought to light. Much as he tried, Shikamaru couldn't bring it into the open, and thus it became a kind of static in his mind, making it difficult to think.

Combined, it all gave him a headache.

Then the screaming voice abruptly stopped as Shikamaru realized what he had missed. The Sand Siblings had come first, while Team 7 had arrived last. But was that enough time for…?

Magic flames suddenly appeared around Harry and Quirrel, and Shikamaru realized he had missed something between the wizards. That realization lasted only a split second however, as his previous question was answered by a soft voice, "And so all the little children gathered…"

"You!" Naruto yelled.

Orochimaru's smile widened, "Well, if it isn't the Kyuubi boy. Don't worry, just for you I set up a jutsu with a perimeter about the same as that fire to keep sound from reaching inside, as well as a seal on that door to keep sound from getting outside."

"What do you want?" Shikamaru asked warily.

"Heh, just that stone, and Sasuke-kun." He paused, and then added as an afterthought, "And the death of the rest of you."

Sakura and Ino snorted derisively, and Orochimaru's smile twitched.

"Point number one." Shikamaru stated, "We can't die. Even if you killed us, we wouldn't die… and what would be the point of killing us, anyway?"

Orochimaru folded his arms, "Let's just say I don't much like the idea of someone other than myself being immortal."

"Question, if you've survived this long, how come you still want Sasuke?"

Orochimaru cocked his head, "The Sharingan, of course."

"He used a time-travel technique." Sasuke interrupted, "He didn't survive until now with his technique."

"Ah…" Shikamaru said in understanding, "That clarifies several things. Okay then, point number two: do you really think we're going to let you have Sasuke?"

"I think, rather…" Orochimaru replied smugly, "Sasuke-kun will come to me."

Shikamaru scowled, "I can understand that. Which brings us to point number three: fourteen to two, against you."

Sasuke drew in a sharp breath, and ran straight across the wall, pushing off to land next to Orochimaru. Naruto, who (like some others) looked confused when Shikamaru said "fourteen to two", looked purely betrayed.

"You…" Naruto growled, apparently shocked beyond words, "Why?!"

"I've done it once, I can do it again." Sasuke said coolly, "Besides, Itachi's still alive."

* * *

"Since when did _keys_ have _wings_?" Yusuke wondered, picking up one of the many shining keys strewn on the floor.

Kurama sighed, not even bothering to answer as he looked apprehensively at the destroyed door.

Beyond it... was a short hallway with another door at the end, and Kurama got a very slight feel of anti-climax. The door at the end of the hallway opened as they neared it.

The sight that greeted him as he went through was quite unexpected. It looked like a normal (albeit enormous) wizards' chess that had just finished a game. Granted, that meant there was still a large amount of destruction, but it didn't have that… feel of unbridled devastation.

He got a sinking feeling when he saw two figures on the board. Ron and Hermione… and Ron looked like he was a bad condition.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, shocked, when the Reikai Tantei came in.

Kurama sighed, "I could ask you the same thing, but I already know the answer." He looked at Ron; "Anyway, don't you think you should be a little more concerned about your friend?"

Hermione frowned, "Well…"

Kurama picked up Ron, "How's this; you tell us why Harry isn't with you while we get you two to the Hospital Wing?"

"O-okay…"

* * *

Orochimaru looked to the side, "Ah, does it seem a little crowded here?"

Shikamaru tensed. It did indeed feel crowded, seeing as the room wasn't really that large to start with, and it was even smaller with the large square cut out and lined in fire.

Orochimaru looked even more relaxed the less Shikamaru did, "It seems our intrusive friends have left the chessboard. That would be a far easier place to fight this out, don't you think?"

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Orochimaru was right. In this narrow space, it would be very difficult to fight with their numbers. Even if they tried to move to the ceiling, fighting above fire was a bad idea, to say the least. He nodded stiffly, going through several scenarios as to why Orochimaru would want to move to an area that gave the enemy the advantage. Orochimaru walked out, Sasuke following close behind.

Shikamaru led his little troop onto the huge board, feeling much better (albeit a little more apprehensive) in the open space.

As soon as Naruto was out of the narrow area, he charged at Orochimaru, but was cut off by Sasuke.

Shikamaru stepped back as Kiba and Lee joined Naruto, and Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Kankuro, and Neji went for Orochimaru while the others set about going for roundabout attacks.

"Remember!" Shikamaru yelled as he looked at the various shadows, "Try to avoid knocking out Sasuke!" It would troublesome if Sasuke got knocked out and that semi-loyalty to Orochimaru jumped, "Only knock him out if you have to." He liked the way his voice carried; it was quite convenient.

Now, if he could just use those shadows to get one (or preferably both) of them…

"What about Orochimaru?" Hinata asked, raising her hands, Byakugan activated.

Shikamaru waved it off, "He can die."

Naruto sent a mental call to Kyuubi, who responded immediately. The red chakra started gathering around him, and his mind hardly registered that Sasuke hadn't activated his curse mark.

Naruto sent a direct punch toward Sasuke, but had to pull it back when Sasuke flipped backwards, right over Lee, who had to bring a foot up to block Naruto's fist. There was a loud crack, and the weight on Lee's right foot slid off.

Sasuke, meanwhile, spun to side to avoid a gatsuuga from Kiba, and kicked a rock (a small remnant of a chess piece), sending it flying towards Kankuro's feet. It hit the puppet-user's ankle, tripping him. Sasuke then had to move quickly to avoid the gatsuuga from Akamaru, as well as the returning one.

Lee pulled off his other weight (leaving a hole in the ground when he dropped it), and aimed a flying kick at Sasuke, who ducked and rolled to the side, intuitively avoiding Naruto's follow-up punch.

Temari looked at the battlefield, frustrated. Her jutsu was really only good for covering a large field, and if she tried to attack Orochimaru or Sasuke, she would inevitably hit an ally.

Sakura charged at Orochimaru with a fistful of chakra, all ready to be served to the manipulative snake. Orochimaru dodged the fist (which instead connected with a black rook) while biting his finger. He smiled when the bleeding thumb hit the ground as he did a semi-cartwheel to avoid Neji's lethal hands.

Neji abruptly lost balance just after hearing a quiet "kuchiyose no jutsu" from Orochimaru, and fell to the ground facing a huge reptilian tail. He stood up quickly and jumped away to observe the new opponent, _and that makes it fourteen to three…_

He didn't have much time to think, however, as the tail lashed out and sent chess pieces flying everywhere. Neji instinctively blocked the lumps of stone with a quick Hakkeshou Kaiten, redirecting them to the walls and ceiling (mostly the walls, though).

Temari gaped when the huge snake came into view, and had to move fast to block the pieces that came flying in her direction with a sweep of her fan.

Sasuke had his work cut out for him dodging attacks, but managed to free his hands for the second it took to make the signs for Chidori.

"Baika no jutsu!" Chouji yelled, inflating to (rough approximation) three times his normal size, and rolling toward the snake, which flicked him away like a pinball. And, like a pinball, Chouji bounced off the remaining chess pieces, and landed in a daze near Shino.

Sand swiftly started rising from the ground, and wrapped around the tip of the snake's tail, progressing upward slowly. When the sand almost completely covered the snake, it disappeared, leaving the sand to fall back to the ground.

Sasuke took the scene in with a glance, and ran full speed toward Orochimaru, suddenly going into an almost sitting position, with his right leg stretched out, holding Chidori to the floor, and using his momentum to trip Sakura and Ino, who had been standing close enough together for him to get both of them.

Naruto, Kiba, and Lee, who hadn't expected it, couldn't react fast enough to stop the slide, and were soon blinded by the cloud of dust.

Tenten hissed in frustration when the dust obscured her lock on Orochimaru, and had to hold back her kunai.

The dust cleared, to reveal only Sakura, Ino, Neji, and Sasuke sitting on the ground.

Orochimaru was gone.

* * *

"KILL HIM!!!" Voldemort yelled. Quirrel extended a hand and seemed to fly at Harry, grabbing his neck.

Harry stretched his hand desperately for the Sorcerers' Stone, but alas, it lay just beyond his reach. As he ran out of breath, unable to regain any, he instinctively grabbed Quirrel's wrist. Where his hand connected with Quirrel's skin, it started steaming, turning to stone, and crumbling, in that order.

Harry managed to push Quirrel's hand away, and the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher backed away, crying out in pain, "What is this magic?"

"Fool! Get the Stone!" Voldemort commanded.

Quirrel, being the poor, obedient fool he was, reached for Harry with the hand that wasn't crumbling. Harry got an idea, and put both his hands on Quirrel's face. The traitor screamed in agony as his head steamed, but he continued to reach for Harry even as he turned to stone and crumbled, becoming nothing but dust on the ground.

Harry looked at his hands in amazement, unaware of a menacing presence gathering behind him. He turned and picked up the Sorcerers' Stone, at which point the menacing presence became strong enough for him to notice it.

He turned around, where smoke was gathering unnaturally. It took the form of a face, and flew toward him, going right through him. Harry screamed, and fell, unconscious, as Voldemort escaped.

* * *

Sasuke stood erect; seemingly impervious to the glares everyone was giving him. He had deliberately created that cloud of dust so Orochimaru could disappear, as it had been necessary to end the fight before the other fourteen could get their bearings and shake off the feelings stirred by his betrayal that deeply impaired their fighting skills.

Naruto was the first one to step forward, fists clenched, and Sakura wasn't far behind. A small gust of smoke blew from the room Harry and Quirrel were in, but no one noticed it.

Except for Shikamaru, who was standing a little farther away, and watched it as it blew toward Team 7. For a miniscule fraction of a second, Shikamaru thought he saw just one figure where Team 7 stood.

Apparently it was just a trick of the light, though, because as abruptly as it had appeared, it was gone. Even so, it left him speechless, and for once glad that he wouldn't dream, because if he did, it would give him nightmares.

A loud, dull sound blasted Shikamaru out of his reverie, and he noted that the sound had come from Naruto slamming Sasuke against the wall.

"Oy, don't kill him." Shikamaru reminded Naruto. As satisfying as that would be, the Reikai Tantei (to say nothing of the other residents of Hogwarts) would no doubt want to know why Sasuke suddenly disappeared, and that would be troublesome.

"I won't…" Naruto ground out, "I'll just beat him up until he wishes he could die!"

"One more thing." Shikamaru interrupted, "It's not necessary to keep him under watch anymore."

"Um, Shikamaru? Are you thinking straight?" Sakura asked, "Isn't it even _more_ important to keep him under watch now?"

"Nah." Shikamaru waved it off, "Where do you think he'll go?"

"To Orochimaru, just maybe?" Ino asked sarcastically.

Shikamaru sighed, "The year is practically over, so we might as well go back Home. Let's try to be positive while we still can."

That shut them up, for about three seconds, anyway.

Naruto let out a yell of frustration as he punched Sasuke, right in the face.

Shikamaru winced as he felt alien emotions seep into his mind, "Naruto… you just knocked him out."

"Oh, hey!" Tenten exclaimed, suddenly remembering something, "When Orochimaru said 'our intrusive friends', I'm pretty sure he was referring to the 'transfer students'. I felt their energy slightly before that. Anyway, they'll probably be back, so we might want to leave."

Naruto glared at the limp Sasuke, "You're not out of this… you are _so_ not out of this, DATTE_BAYO_!!!"

* * *

By the way, I don't own "Yura Yura" (and I think it goes without being said that I don't own "Loch Lomond").

Also, while normally a blow to the face wouldn't knock out Sasuke, this time his head was caught between a fist and a hard place (the wall).


	41. Aftermath

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

As soon as the Reikai Tantei had dropped off Ron and Hermione, they went back to the third-floor corridor to retrieve Harry. Hagrid and professors Sprout and Dumbledore came with them, to take care of the traumatized Fluffy, the tattered Devils' Snare, and investigation, respectively.

"Hey…" Yusuke said, looking at the harp, "Weren't there a couple of guitars here when we came and left?"

"I didn't notice…" Kurama replied, "Are you sure?"

"Well, I wasn't really paying attention…" Yusuke muttered.

"There, there, Fluffy, it's alrigh'…" Hagrid said soothingly, stroking the enormous three-headed canine.

Hiei jumped down the hole first, standing precariously on the plant that had been dangerous some time in the distant past.

Professor Sprout gasped when she saw the condition of the Snare, "It's… practically dead! How can someone possibly kill a Devil's Snare this large without leaving it outside during the day?!" She sounded a little hysterical.

"You're about to fall." Hiei pointed out in a monotone, just as the tentacles gave way and Professor Sprout fell with a cry. Soon the tentacles also gave way under the weight of the others, and all the tentacles withdrew to the walls, curling in response to the constant, merciless beating they had experienced through the night.

There was a moment of silence for the nearly murdered murderous plant, and the group of six moved to the next room.

"Oh, my…" Dumbledore muttered when he saw the carnage before him. Only one small key was still fluttering in the air. All the others were lying on the ground, and only a few even twitched. There were many that didn't even have wings anymore.

And the door was nonexistent as of about half an hour ago.

Hiei suddenly disappeared, and Kurama ran through the doorway, apparently alerted to something that escaped the others' attention. Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at each other, confused, and followed, with Dumbledore trailing behind, and Sprout examining the keys.

"This is…" Kurama breathed in shock when he reached the chessboard; "It wasn't in a bad condition when we first got here…"

Huge chess pieces were strewn all along the floor, most cracked in several places. There were pieces sticking in the walls, and Kurama thought he could even see a couple in the_ ceiling_. Only a few of the fires that lighted the room were still going, as the others had all apparently been blown out. There were several holes in the floor and walls, and one long scar stretching nearly the entire length of the chessboard. The large stone sword that the black king had dropped when Harry, Ron, and Hermione won, was broken in two, and there was sand _everywhere_.

Dumbledore walked quickly through the door on the other side of the room, and reemerged carrying an unconscious Harry and a red rock.

"The Sorcerers' Stone?" Kurama asked. Dumbledore nodded.

"What do you think could have done this?" Yusuke asked, looking at the destruction with a dumbfounded expression, "I mean, besides us…"

"The shinobi." Hiei stated.

Kuwabara nodded thoughtfully, "Yeah… the only other time I've seen a mess like this in this school was way back near the beginning of the year, when Naruto and Sasuke fought in Potions."

"It was that bad?" Yusuke wondered, observing a hole that looked as though it had been drilled into the wall.

"Well, I think there were more fighters here, but the classroom was a smaller space, and it had _potions_." Kurama pointed out, "I only got a glimpse, but it was definitely a wreck."

"I'll leave you to look at this." Dumbledore said, "I need to get Harry to the Hospital Wing, and work on preparations for the Wizard Exam."

Kurama sighed. So they would have to fall back on it, after all…

Professor Sprout hurried into the room, "Professor Dumbledore! … This is a mess."

Dumbledore sighed, "What did you find?"

"Oh! It seems as though there were several people who came other than the three Griffindors." She reported, "The kinds of damage the keys sustained had a wide range. Some had scorch marks, and others had their wings sliced cleanly off. I also found this." She held up a chef knife...

... Light from nowhere in particular glinted off the blade...

"... And some other small weapons that I didn't recognize."

Dumbledore smiled, "Well then, how about you help these four try to gather what information they can about this damage? I'm afraid I'm going to be busy."

"Okay…"

* * *

Shikamaru breathed a sigh of relief once he was back in the Ravenclaw common room. After Tenten's little comment, the shinobi and kunoichi had basically skedaddled, picking up Naruto and Sasuke's guitars on their way out. Still, he had had to practically order everyone to go back to his or her common room and get what sleep they could.

It seemed like he had been doing a lot of ordering lately, when he would much rather just watch the clouds…

It wasn't much longer until dawn, but they needed to regain lost energy, as they had used far more than they had thought they would in the little escapade.

* * *

_Ugh… sleep… no doubt Sasuke would be appearing soon enough…_

_Shikamaru looked around, noting that Shino, Sakura, and the Hufflepuff and Griffindor shinobi and kunoichi were already here. The Sand Siblings probably wouldn't take too long, even though they had to lug Sasuke and his guitar with them._

_Sasuke materialized just before the Sand Sibs arrived, and a dark, angry atmosphere seemed to fill the realm._

_Sleep proceeded silently._

* * *

Harry regained consciousness slowly, his first intelligible thought being,_comfy…_

He reached out, and found his glasses. He put them on as he sat up in… a bed in the Hospital Wing. He drew an abrupt surprised breath as boxes and bags of candy came into focus.

"Good afternoon, Harry." Dumbledore greeted, coming into the room, "Ah… tokens, from your admirers?" He fingered a box.

"Admirers?" Harry wondered.

"What happened in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret." Dumbledore explained, "So, naturally, the whole school knows."

Harry smiled.

Dumbledore picked up a small package, "Ah, I see your friend Ronald has saved you the trouble of opening your Chocolate Frogs…"

"Ron was here? Is he all right?" Harry asked, "What about Hermione?"

Dumbledore held up a hand to forestall him, "Fine. They're both just fine."

Harry tensed, "What happened to the Stone?"

Dumbledore held up his hand again, "Relax, dear boy. The Stone has been destroyed. My friend Nicholas and I have had a little chat, and agreed that it was best all around."

"But then, Flamel…" Harry said, "He'll die, won't he?"

Dumbledore was silent for a moment, and moved to sit next to Harry, "He has enough Elixir to set his affairs in order… but yes, he will die."

"How is it I got the Stone, sir?" Harry asked, "One minute I was staring in the Mirror and the next…"

Dumbledore didn't need Harry to finish, "Ah, you see, only a person who wanted to find the Stone, _find it_, but not use it, would be able to get it. That was one of my more brilliant ideas." He leaned down conspiratorially, "And between you and me, that is saying something."

Yet another thing occurred to Harry, "Does that mean, with the Stone gone that is, that Voldemort can never come back?"

"Ah, I'm afraid…" Dumbledore replied gravely, "There are ways in which he can return. Harry, do you know why Professor Quirrell couldn't bear to have you touch him?"

Harry shook his head.

"It was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you, and that kind of act leaves a mark."

Harry raised a hand to his forehead.

"No, no. This kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your very skin."

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Love, Harry" Dumbledore stated, "Love."

Dumbledore stood up, and all tension seemed to leave the room. The old headmaster walked to Harry's gifts, and picked up a small box, "Ah, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. I was most unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit flavored one. And since, I'm afraid, I've lost my liking for them." His free hand hovered over the box indecisively, "But I think… it could be safe… with a nice toffee…"

Dumbledore popped a bean into his mouth, "Alas!" He said after chewing for a moment, "Earwax!" He left the room, leaving Harry smiling.

* * *

Harry was soon able to leave the Hospital Wing, and met Ron and Hermione right outside.

"All right there, Ron?" Harry asked.

"All right." Ron answered happily, "You?"

Harry shrugged, "All right. Hermione?"

"Never better." Hermione said cheerfully.

* * *

Sasuke sat up, hardly feeling better than when Naruto had knocked him out. Apparently Sakura had healed him just before the shinobi and kunoichi parted to go to their separate common rooms, but that probably wouldn't make much difference by the end of what looked, for all means and purposes, to be a long day…

"I see those three, Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari, aren't spying on you every waking moment anymore." Hiei remarked casually. Sasuke rubbed his head, which still throbbed a little, _a very long day, indeed…_

* * *

Shikamaru sighed as he looked up at the sky, the bright light belying its crisp coldness, and just seeming to rub in the gloom in his mind. _Back Home…_

For some reason, he felt even more averse to the idea than normal. Perhaps it was because of how much fun he had had here, with the other shinobi and many more. The almost childish excitement of deliberately avoiding the Reikai Tantei felt like hide-and-seek. The problem was, winning wasn't fun at all. Perhaps he could just have Naruto and/or Sasuke ask what the Reikai Tantei wanted. If it could put off leaving a little more…

But there was Orochimaru to consider. Shikamaru had felt an odd twisting sensation when he came into the room with the Sorcerers' Stone, and had thought it odd at the time, but it almost made sense knowing that Orochimaru had been there. Almost… it may have been his imagination, but it almost seemed as if outlines had blurred between the fifteen ninja students.

Or maybe it was just that diet ramen that Ino and Naruto shoved down his throat at dinner…

Maybe if the stupid static would clear up, and he could think straight for once since coming to this troublesome school, he would be able to figure it out.

* * *

Sasuke considered staying in the common room the rest of the day, for the express purpose of avoiding everyone, particular the other shinobi and kunoichi. They would definitely be seething about the incident that occurred the previous night…

There were no classes today, so everyone had time to pack before returning to his or her home the next day. Time passed so quickly…

But moving on to his philosophical question of the day: to brave the halls, or not to brave the halls?

Hiei had already been poking at his mind a little, and Sasuke had shoved some images consisting purely of the Mangekyou Sharingan at him in retaliation. Eventually the fire demon gave up and left the common room to do who-knows-what, and Sasuke was left alone with his question.

On one hand, he had absolutely no problem sitting here for the rest of the day, but if he did that, the others would just be even more irritated tomorrow.

_I hate my life…_

* * *

Neji leaned against the wall, Byakugan active. The moment Sasuke stepped out of the Slytherin common room, Neji performed a quick Rokujuuyon Shou, effectively dazing the Uchiha, and stopping his chakra flow.

Sasuke got a sinking feeling as Neji nodded in satisfaction, and left. So much for that dim hope to avoid the others by utilizing jutsu…

The sinking feeling got worse when he spotted some little bugs scuttling away. More than likely, they were going to inform the others about Sasuke's recent disability.

_It's a conspiracy…_

* * *

Neji yawned as he walked down the corridor. Sealing Sasuke's chakra had been Kiba's idea. Naruto had jumped on it, and started bugging Neji until he agreed to help. Then he went and started bugging Lee to tell the others about his plot. Surprisingly enough, Shino showed up and volunteered for that part. Neji _almost_ pitied the dark-haired Slytherin.

Naruto came in from an adjoining corridor wielding a mirror, with one hand on his chin and his mouth hanging open.

Neji's eye twitched, and he asked on impulse, "_What_ are you _doing_?"

Naruto's mouth snapped shut, and he turned to Neji, grinning, "I thought that since I'm the one who planned The Conspiracy, I should work on my evil laugh, dat– believe it. Want to hear it?"

The Conspiracy was what Naruto had decided to name what Neji would have otherwise thought of as "Sasuke's (Well-Deserved) Bad Day".

Neji opened his mouth to say "no", but Naruto cut him off with an absurdly high-pitched "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Neji covered his ears, and when Naruto finished, he remarked, "I think that's a bit too many 'ha's."

Naruto frowned, "Okay, what about this? MWA!!!"

Neji ground his teeth, "Go with three or four." Naruto opened his mouth, but Neji went right over him, "And ask for _someone else's_ opinion."

Neji then backpedaled as fast as his legs would take him for the sake of his ears.

Naruto looked closely at his mirror, "MWA!!! Hmm…"

Sasuke's eye twitched over at the end of the corridor, as he made his aimless way through the maze known as Hogwarts. Perhaps he would find some dark, secluded room…

This fantasy (delusion) lasted for perhaps five seconds, after which he walked by Shino, who grabbed the back of his collar, threw him into the wall, and continued on his merry way.

Sasuke sank to the ground, hoping beyond hope that the rest of the day might go a little better than this. A few students who had been present for the scene paled, and soon Sasuke was alone in the hallway.

Meanwhile, in a nearby corridor…

The movement of his jaw mesmerized Naruto as he yelled, "MWAHAHA!!! MWA-HA-HA-HA!!! Mwa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" He shifted the mirror for a better angle, "Myuwaha! MyuHAHAHA!!!"

"Hey, Naruto!" Kiba greeted. Naruto turned slightly, his jaw at an odd angle (it almost looked dislocated).

"Uh…" Kiba was speechless for precisely one second, "Try doing it a little deeper…" He spun a quick 180 and fled the scene.

"Deeper? Hmm…" Naruto looked at the mirror again, "Myuwahahaha… myuwa– eh? Myuwawawawa…"

A little paw batted against his foot, and Naruto looked to see… a cat.

"Meow!"

"Meow? Meowawawa… no… MEOWHAHAHA!!! Wait… deep… Meowha_haha_HA!!!"

"Meow!"

"Eikichi!" Kuwabara yelled, "I've been looking all over for you! Now I just need to find Nibi…"

"Hi, Kuwabara!" Naruto called excitedly, "Want to hear my evil laugh? I've been practicing for nearly fifteen minutes now!"

"Why would you want to practice an evil laugh?" Kuwabara asked, picking up Eikichi.

"Ah, ah, I came up with a plot to get back at Sasuke! And my evil laugh has to be perfect so I can show it off at the end of the day!"

Sasuke, who was still sitting in the empty corridor, and thus was still within hearing range, hit his head repeatedly against the wall, _so he _is_ responsible… figures… happy thoughts… happy thoughts… I can still kill Itachi… yes, happy thoughts…_

"Revenge?" Kuwabara wondered. Naruto did _not_ seem like the kind of person to want revenge on anyone… but then, it did seem to fit that he was having fun with it.

"Yeah, he… uh… so do you want to hear my evil laugh so far?" Naruto suddenly looked slightly nervous when a small bug started crawling on his neck.

"Alright! Then we can see if I can beat it!" Kuwabara challenged, oblivious to the bug (though he did wonder why Naruto suddenly cut himself off like that).

"Okay, here I go…" Naruto took a deep breath, "Meow_HAHAHAHA_!!!"

"Wow, that didn't sound like any evil laugh I've ever heard." Kuwabara remarked, "But, I'll warn you now, I've heard many evil laughs, so I have a lot of experience with them."

"Well, let's hear it!" Naruto encouraged.

"MWAHAHAA!!!"

"Oh, yeah? MyuahahaHA!!!"

"MWAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!"

In the adjoining corridor, Sasuke stood up, his head throbbing far more than it had when he woke up, and decided to make his way to the Great Hall. Might as well get something to eat…

He walked right past Kurama, who had been eavesdropping on Naruto and Kuwabara (though he had been slightly disappointed when Naruto stopped himself from spilling some possibly vital information).

"I take it you're in trouble with your friends for something?" Kurama asked when Sasuke passed. Sasuke grunted in response, in no mood to talk to anyone right now.

"Hiei said that you're acting a little odd." Kurama explained, falling into step beside him.

_Nosy…_Sasuke didn't respond.

Kurama sighed. This wasn't going to be easy… "I wonder what Naruto might want revenge for? The first thing that comes to mind would be a prank, but I don't think you're the kind of person who plays pranks, and it would probably have to be pretty serious for Naruto to be mad about it afterwards. Perhaps you betrayed his trust in some way?"

Sasuke's eye twitched. This guy was annoying…

Unfortunately, Kurama didn't miss the reaction, small though it was.

There were several sudden gasps and giggles from an adjoining corridor, and Kurama and Sasuke turned to see a group of fangirls looking at them.

Kurama smiled, "Good morning."

Sasuke gave off an angry aura that said clearly "go away"; he even laced it with some murderous intent. Now, just a little time and…

… … …

"Um… good day!" One of the girls said, before retreating with the others on her heels. They were all slightly paler than they were at first.

Kurama continued nonchalantly, "I can see why he would take that hard, the way you almost seem like brothers most of the time."

_Well, I've attempted to kill both him and Itachi… and failed…_

"Even the way you fight with each other…"

… "Go away."

"… Alright." Kurama acquiesced, turning into another hallway. Sasuke was surprised, but not displeased, to see him go.

His mood improvement lasted until he saw Tenten and Ino farther ahead. Tenten had spotted him, as well, and was apparently aiming something at him. He had hardly registered this when aforementioned something shot right by him, leaving a long neat cut on his right cheek. The two kunoichi walked away condescendingly, and Sasuke raised an eyebrow curiously, _if I knew Ino would avoid me if I betrayed her, I would have done it long ago… maybe I should do it more often…_

Sasuke suddenly froze and turned around (unwillingly) to face Shikamaru for a moment before an over-sized fist flew toward him.

"That should be about right, Chouji." Shikamaru said, releasing the Kagemane just before Chouji's enlarged fist made contact with Sasuke's gut, "That felt good, though…"

Chouji munched happily in agreement, and he and Shikamaru left Sasuke to recover.

Sasuke sighed as he looked around the empty corridor. _Well, what did I expect? It's not like everyone would just let it go… I just didn't think it would be _quite_ this painful…_

It actually wasn't too bad so far, just a throbbing head, a stinging cheek, a sore stomach, and no access to his chakra. That would be just fine, if the day wasn't just beginning…

* * *

Tenten skipped along merrily in search of Neji. They had practiced together with their wands, and were doing pretty well in her opinion. By this point she was a little fonder of her wand than she was of the rest of her arsenal…

* * *

"_You're sure?" Ollivander asked incredulously. Tenten had just flicked her seventh wand, and sent tiny bullets of light flying everywhere and exploding as soon as they touched something solid. Ollivander didn't think that such a reaction would mean that the wand approved of the wielder, but Tenten seemed to think differently._

_Though he also felt a little trepidation since this particular wand had an unusually sharp tip._

"_Absolutely!" Tenten replied. The wand sent up a few bright sparks as she held it as she would a projectile, and Ollivander was silent for a moment. Perhaps she was right…_

"… _If you're sure…"_

_(Tenten – Iron, Scroll Fragment, 13 in.)_

* * *

"You're good…" Naruto huffed.

"You too…" Kuwabara panted.

"Oy, Kuwabara!" Yusuke called, "Dumbledore was asking where you were! He mentioned something about your cats…"

"AH!!!" Kuwabara screamed, "I forgot! Where did Eikichi go?!"

"Meow…"

"Oh, Nibi… but where's Eikichi?"

"Meow!"

"Ah, good!" Kuwabara scooped up his two cats and hurried away.

Naruto gained a considering look, "Now, if I can just find Sasuke… or maybe I should wait…"

"Why would you want to find Sasuke?" Kurama asked from behind him, "Sure, he betrayed you…"

"AAAAA!!! How do you know about that!?" Naruto demanded, slightly panicked. Yusuke raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Oh, just a little conversation with Sasuke…"

"That JERK!!! I'm _so_ going to tell Sh– uh… uh… how much did he tell you?" Naruto desperately groped for some other topic.

"He only _told__me_ to go away." Kurama answered truthfully, wondering if he might be able to squeeze a bit more than "Sh" out of Naruto. If he could just learn a little more of what had happened that put Sasuke in a bad light with the other shinobi…

"So how do you know about…?"

Kurama sighed, "Judging by guesses and reactions. You wouldn't understand."

"Eh? So you _don't_ know about the betrayal?" Naruto asked, confused, "I guess that's a good thing…"

"Wait, so you're not going to tell us about it?!" Yusuke demanded, "I mean, what's this about a betrayal?

"Naruto!" Sakura called from a nearby corridor, "Could you come over here for a moment?"

"SURE!!!" Naruto sprinted away from Yusuke and Kurama, glad for the interrogation to end.

Unfortunately, as soon as the two were out of sight and hearing, Sakura grabbed Naruto by his collar and hoisted him two inches off the ground with murder in her eyes, "_What_ did you tell them?"

"But it wasn't me! It was Sasuke! Kind of…"

"'_Kind of_?'"

"Well, Kurama/Shuichi (I wonder which name is really his…) said that he learned about Sasuke's betrayal by talking to him, but all Sasuke told him was to go away… Sakura-chan… I'm choking…"

Sakura's grip had tightened painfully. She let go (leaving Naruto gasping for breath), and looked suspiciously back the way they had come, "Well… I suppose it doesn't really make much difference at this point, anyway."

"Ah, don't talk like that! And I was just beginning to forget about it, too…"

Sakura sighed, "Sorry. I haven't been able to think about anything else today, so it's kind of getting to me."

"Hmm… oh, hey! Hey! Let's go have some ramen! Ino and I were able to get Shikamaru to eat some a while ago! But he didn't say whether he liked it or not…"

Sakura gave a slightly strained smile, "I don't really have much of an appetite today. I think I'll go see how Sasuke's condition is. He might need some healing to survive the day."

* * *

"Ah, Kuwabara." Dumbledore greeted as Kuwabara entered the room holding Eikichi and Nibi, "There's a question I'm going to ask each student in the Exam with a pet, and I decided to ask you first, since the Exam hasn't been announced yet and I would like some feedback."

"Sure… what is it?" Kuwabara asked, putting down his cats.

"Would you like to enter Eikichi or Nibi into the Wizard Exam… as weapons?"

"… N-Nani?!"

"Was that a bit blunt? Well, that's the general idea. So I take it, by your reaction, the answer is 'no'?"

"Well… yeah…" Kuwabara looked skeptically at Eikichi and Nibi as they played, "Definitely not weapons…"

"I see." Dumbledore wrote something down on some parchment, "That will probably be everyone's answer, but I'm keeping the option open, just in case. Apparently shinobi would use pets as weapons, so it might make a good indication as to who might be a shinobi."

* * *

"Shinobi… shinobi…" Hermione flipped through a large book, "Where are the shinobi…?"

"What are you looking for?" Harry asked.

"Shinobi." Hermione replied, "I've been watching Naruto and Sasuke as closely as I could for a while now, just because I'm a little curious as to why they're around so long after the ninja have disappeared, but I can't see any similarities in their behavior… so… what makes a shinobi a shinobi?"

"Good question…" Harry said thoughtfully.

"Who cares?" Ron asked, "It's just some rank or something, right? I'll bet anyone could get it."

"Hmm…" Hermione responded doubtfully, flipping through the book, "But you have to do something to obtain a rank, no matter what it is. I think… both Naruto and Sasuke seem kind of… _powerful_, don't you think?"

"Well,_yeah_." Ron replied, "I'm _still_ wondering how they can make such a mess of a classroom in less than a minute."

"And not just them…" Hermione said. When Harry and Ron gave her questioning looks, she continued, "The transfer students. It's like they give off an aura of strength. Power. I can't put my finger on it, though…"

"Sure you're not just imagining things?" Ron asked.

"Maybe." Hermione answered, "It seems like that when they're not around, but just try to feel it next time you pass them or something, okay? Around Hiei especially, it's like he's _flaunting_ his power or something."

"He's_Slytherin_." Ron pointed out, "If he's got some sort of power or whatever, it's not like he'll try to hide it."

"Maybe it's taught in Japan?" Harry contemplated.

"That's probably the case." Hermione conceded, "But… what is it? And that would mean Naruto and Sasuke are from Japan… and that _is_ where ninja are from... but then, why are they here?"

* * *

Because I didn't get a chance to update on Saturday, and I didn't update two weeks ago, I'm updating now.


	42. Advanced Placement Exam

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"Excuse me sir, but what is this about?" Shikamaru asked, careful to keep his wariness out of his voice. Dumbledore had called three students to his office, one from each House besides Slytherin.

Disguising his caution must have worked, because Dumbledore didn't indicate noticing anything odd, "We're going to be having a kind of… Wizard Exam." He explained.

Shikamaru's curiosity and wariness both doubled, and the Hufflepuff girl that had been called in asked, "Wizard Exam?"

"You see…" Dumbledore adjusted his spectacles; "We, the professors, are worried that the exchange students are far above first year studies, so we've designed a test that includes a written exam, as well as practical application. We've also decided to include other students. Depending on performance, a student in the Exam can proceed to whichever year they are ready for. First year students entering will be chosen by the head of their respective House. Any questions so far?"

Shikamaru half-raised a hand, and Dumbledore nodded to him.

"I have three." Shikamaru said skeptically, "First, what does this have to do with us?"

"After some deliberation, the other professors and I agreed that we should appoint one person from each House to a leadership role. We've noticed your leadership abilities, and have decided to put you each in a position of authority." Dumbledore replied.

_Great. That's just… wonderful… oh, the irony._

_What do they want, anyway?_

"And what's your other question?" Dumbledore asked.

Shikamaru got the feeling that the old headmaster knew what it was, "How come there's no one from Slytherin?"

Dumbledore smiled, "For various reasons, we've assigned someone… special… to that position. The last?"

Shikamaru's eye twitched, "How come I'm the only first year?"

"Ah, after looking at your performance, we decided that you were the best candidate. The same can be said of the other two here. Is there anything else?"

"How come there's one of us from each House?" The Griffindor boy, Cedric Diggory asked.

"As I said, you are to be put in leadership positions. There have been many complications raised by professor Quirrell, and we've all been busy, so the heads of each House, in addition to choosing those first years they deemed fit to enter the Exam, have each picked those they deemed most fit to keep track of their Houses. Your primary role is to brief the participants on the rules of each phase of the exam. Ah, a question, Helen?"

The Hufflepuff girl had raised her hand, "Yes… if we're in these 'leadership positions', then does that mean we weren't 'deemed fit' to enter the Exam?"

"Not necessarily. I will personally judge by the way you handle your role if you are ready to jump ahead a year or two. I've already checked your schoolwork performances, and they are all exceptionally good."

_What the heck? I was _trying_ to get average performance. Guess I over-estimated the average… I just hope I don't regret it._

"Hey, I can understand if you've already tested our intelligence by our performance," Cedric said, "But what about... you know, practical application?"

Dumbledore smiled, "Professor Snape said that he would work out the details there. You should get an owl explaining that."

_Snape? I've got a feeling that's going to be trouble…_

* * *

_So… I'm supposed to supervise Ravenclaw participants in this "Wizard Exam", make sure they don't cheat and all that, as well as check their answers for the written Exam… _and_ I'm supposed to help set up each phase… ah, here come the owls._

_The physical application includes… oh, that's going to be… troublesome… _Shikamaru's eye twitched as he read the letter.

_Ravenclaw Supervisor Shikamaru Nara_

_As the Headmaster has already informed you, I have been given the privilege of setting up your physical application. An announcement will be made in each common room for those who have not been chosen to participate in the Wizard Exam that if they would like to advance beyond first year, they have to defeat the supervisor of their House. Naturally, this tests the intelligence and strength of both the supervisor and the challenger._

_This will be adjusted for Slytherin, but that has nothing to do with you._

_There will also be a physical application set up by the Headmaster, involving a preliminary exam. Details will be given later._

_Being in Ravenclaw, it's likely that you'll be matched against wits as much or more than magical power._

_If you do not feel up to the task, consult Professor Dumbledore._

_Have fun.  
_

–_Professor Snape_

_Meaning that anyone who challenges me will probably be weaker than those in the Exam… but even so…_

_My real level is far above these students, but the challenge is making sure my performance matches what they've observed… so, though the professors don't know it, my problem isn't going to be being against Ravenclaw students…_

_It'll be against myself._

_Ugh… troublesome…_

Shikamaru groaned as his head hit the table.

"Eh, what's that, Shikamaru?" Sakura asked, holding a report from her contacts in Reikai.

"You'll find out soon enough…" Shikamaru mumbled, "It looks like we're going to be staying a little longer."

* * *

Sasuke carefully put on his new contacts, which had been designed for purposes similar to that of the Hyuuga's.

"Got eye issues now, Uchiha?" Malfoy sneered.

Sasuke glared at him, activating Sharingan. Seeing no major reaction from Malfoy, he smirked. Looks like these things worked…

* * *

"Ah!" "Just who we were looking for!"

"Hello, Fred, George." Dumbledore greeted, "I see you squeezed the password to my office out of someone again."

"Well, of course!" "We had to get in here, after all!"

Dumbledore gave an exaggerated sigh, "And why would you be sneaking into my office so soon before dinner?"

"Straight to the point, eh?" "Well, you see…" "It's about the Wizard Exam you kindly set up."

Dumbledore turned to his parchment dismissively, "If you were wondering if you could join, I've already got something set up for those above first year. Although you may not want to enter, as this is going to be an arduous test."

"Oh, we're confident we'll meet your criterion." "But we came with a _special_ request."

Dumbledore looked up, "And what makes you think I'll grant this 'special' request?"

"Ah, ah, ah!" "First we have to tell you what it is!"

Dumbledore didn't reply, just raised an eyebrow curiously.

The twins smiled, "We noticed that Professor McGonagall didn't sign up…" "Neji Hyuuga."

Dumbledore was slightly taken aback, but did well to hide it, "What of it?"

"We already know…" "That you're doing three-member teams." "Our request…" "Is that you allow us…" "To be on a team with him."

"Well then." Dumbledore said, "That brings us back to my previous question: what makes you think I'll grant this 'special' request? You are, after all, in different years."

Fred and George gained identical mischievous grins, and Fred asked "What if Neji's a shinobi?"

Dumbledore was silent for a moment, "… How do you know about that?"

"We have our sources." George replied.

"So, how about it?" Fred inquired.

"Alright. Just remember that I warned you."

* * *

At dinner…

* * *

McGonagall tapped a cup, signaling silence in the Great Hall.

Dumbledore stood up, "As a forewarning, this speech is going to be a little more long-winded than its predecessors.

"Another year, gone. And now, as I understand it, the House Cup needs awarding. The points stand thus: in fourth place, Griffindor, with three hundred twelve points."

There was a small round of applause. Sasuke smirked, Naruto yelled in anger, and Lee clenched his fist, resolving to climb up the castle and then down again with one hand before it was time to leave.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked somewhat downcast.

Kuwabara glared at Hiei.

"Third place, Hufflepuff, with three hundred fifty-two points."

There was some more applause. Ino scowled, and Kiba grumbled a little.

"Second place, Ravenclaw, with four hundred twenty-six points."

More applause. Shikamaru snored, and Sakura grinned, _take that, Ino!_

"And in first place, with four hundred seventy-two points, Slytherin house!"

"Yeah!" Malfoy shouted, as the applause got slightly louder. He looked smugly in Harry's general direction. Sasuke and Hiei smiled quietly, and Sakura and Ino cheered _very_ loudly.

Temari smirked slightly at Shikamaru.

"Nice one, mate." Malfoy said to no one in particular.

"Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, well done!" Dumbledore said, "However! Recent events must be taken into account, and I have a few last-minute points to award."

Silence settled in the Great Hall.

"To Miss Hermione Granger, for cool use of intellect, while others were in grave peril, fifty points."

Cheering… Ron and Harry grinned at Hermione.

Hinata smiled slightly, Kiba and Ino's heads drooped, and Tenten stabbed her fork through the table.

Yusuke grumbled.

"Second, to Mister Ronald Weasely, for the best played game of chess Hogwarts has seen these many years, fifty points."

More cheering… Ron's grinned widened, and Harry and Hermione smiled at him.

"I'll add now that after that game, the chessboard was utterly_ destroyed_ by, we have reason to believe, _no less_ than three students from _each house_!"

Silence…

Shikamaru's eye twitched.

"When did that happen?" Hermione wondered, "I mean, as we were leaving, the keys were all on the ground, the Devil's Snare didn't move, and Fluffy was sleeping… but I don't remember anything odd about the chessboard…"

"Let's talk about it later…" Harry whispered.

"For that reason, I take one hundred points from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and one hundred twenty-five from Griffindor and Slytherin!"

Deep silence…

"But turning from the unfortunate destruction of Hogwarts property. To Mister Harry Potter, for pure love and outstanding courage, I award Griffindor house sixty points!"

Louder cheering… Hermione leaned forward, "We're tied with Slytherin!"

Sakura's jaw dropped. She had fallen behind _Naruto_!

"And finally, it takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award ten points to Neville Longbottom!"

The cheering abruptly got much louder, most of it coming from Griffindor. Neville stared, dumbfounded.

Naruto grinned at Sasuke, whose smile had disappeared. His eyes were shadowed now. Then Dumbledore's other words hit Naruto, and he felt something he could describe as nothing other than irony, _it takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies… but a great deal more…_

Lee's eyes shined. He would still climb up the castle and back down again with one hand, of course…

Kuwabara grinned at Hiei, feeling somewhat euphoric.

Dumbledore spoke a little louder in order to be heard above the clamor, "Assuming that my calculations are correct, I believe that a change of decoration is in order!" He clapped his hands, and the large banners in the room changed from the silver snake on a green background to a gold lion on a field of red.

It took a while for the noise to die down, after which Dumbledore continued:

"That being said, I will now announce something that has been named the 'Advanced Placement Exam', or A.P.E. for short. The transfer students may be staying for another year, so we have devised a system to figure out what year they might better fit. For example, if they perform well enough in this test, they can advance as far as seventh year, and take that level of study next year.

"After looking at the scores of some other students, we have decided to include everyone else, as well. Sixth and seventh year students will be exempt, as it would be pointless to include them in a test meant for advancing students beyond their current year. Seventh year because they are about to graduate anyway, and sixth year because if one is advanced, they need to catch up on whatever they miss, and sixth year can only advance to seventh year, which they'll be next year.

"Not all first year students will be able to participate in the Exam. But for those who are allowed, which will be decided by the heads of Houses, and announced later, you may always back out if you so desire."

"I'm done rambling now."

_They've got it all planned out…_ Shikamaru thought, rubbing his eyes,_It's pointless for sixth and seventh years to participate in the Exam, and first years are given special treatment because, while they have the most room to advance, they're also the youngest and weakest… with a few exceptions, which is where the heads of Houses come in, to find those exceptions…_

_Wait… if _I_ over-estimated the average… ah, shoot…_

* * *

Sasuke was hardly listening as Professor Snape explained the Advanced Placement Exam (it would be the "House Captain", as they had been called, but apparently whoever that was going to be had decided to save their appearance for later). He would have found it difficult to pay attention even if he wanted to, with the way his head was hurting. It had indeed been a long day…

Sakura had healed him at before dinner, thankfully, so his chakra was flowing again, but there was only so much she could do. The others had all taken his little lapse of loyalty pretty hard… and had made their disapproval _very_ clear. He especially hated the grand finale, where Naruto screamed a horribly mutated laugh in his face.

"… Anyone between second and fifth years can sign up here if they would like to participate in the A.P.E. …"

Sasuke wearily made his way to the boys' dormitory and fell on his bed, exhausted even though he hadn't really done much that day.

Soon Malfoy came into the room, looking like the smug little kid he was. Sasuke guessed that he was quite confident about making it into the Advanced Placement Exam.

Malfoy stopped cold when he saw Sasuke, "What happened to _you_?"

_I've just been used as a pincushion for the past twelve hours_, "None of your business."

Malfoy sneered, "Yeah, as if I'd feel threatened by someone who looks like they've just been used as a pincushion for the past day."

_Brat_, "Idiot."

Malfoy was ticked now. He held up his wand, "You know, maybe I'll just_Stupefy_ you right here."

Sasuke was out of bed and behind Malfoy in one second flat, holding a kunai to the back of his neck.

_Nice try, brat._ "How would you like to become the Nearly Headless Nick of Slytherin?"

Malfoy probably would have shivered if he wasn't so scared, "Ah… ah… s-s-sorry!"

Sasuke put the kunai away and returned to his bed. It was amazing what you could make these kids do when you confronted them with their mortality.

"_Stupefy_!"

Not that it could last. Sasuke back flipped off the bed, drawing his wand fluidly in the process and almost reflexively activating his Sharingan, but stopped himself. _Might as well practice using this…_

He made some rapid signs while holding the wand, and then held the tip to his mouth. It went so fast that Malfoy hardly registered that he hadn't hit Sasuke.

…_Kind of… _"Katon! Housenka no Jutsu!"

* * *

Hiei entered the boys' dormitory to find a slightly burned carpet, a traumatized Malfoy, a peacefully sleeping (albeit somewhat battered… but he had noticed that at dinner) Uchiha, and a few random smoldering items.

Oh, yeah… and holes in walls that had obviously been burned into place. Oddly enough, it made him think of the gigantic chessboard that had been destroyed… probably in part thanks to aforementioned Uchiha.

Kankuro and Gaara weren't far behind him, and Hiei noted with interest the emotions that flashed across Kankuro's face. Mild surprise first, then a touch of irritation, as well as a slight seasoning of humor.

* * *

As a warning, I'm probably going to have to put in some OC's… but in my defense, they will only be for cameo roles and/or extras.

At least English names aren't a pain to think up.

I'm not sure I was very clear about the "House Captain" thing. In case that confused you, the House Captains are the students put in "leadership roles" (i.e. Shikamaru, Cedric, that little OC that I named Helen because there's no one I could use from Hufflepuff, and someone yet to be revealed). 


	43. Teams Announced

Ack, Cedric _is_ Hufflepuff…

Dang, now I feel stupid…

Ugh… 

But, yeah, I can switch Cedric and Helen... that will work.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"**Animal Talking.**"

"Japanese."

"_So we're going to be staying a little longer?" Ino asked cheerfully._

"_Looks that way." Shikamaru answered, "Maybe we'll find out why the Reikai Tantei are looking for us after all…"_

"_But since we're all first year…" Sakura said, "… The heads of Houses have to specifically choose us to get to even the preliminary exam."_

"_Well, anyone who doesn't get chosen can just have fun somewhere. In which case you can either go to some other spot in England, or hang out here to observe how the Exam goes." Shikamaru replied, "Even so, we should probably hope that only a few of us get into the Exam. If you do, I suggest you don't back out, because it would look suspicious when everyone's so eager to get in."_

_Kiba rubbed his hands together, "This is going to be fun…"_

_Shikamaru sighed; _I'm getting a bad feeling about this…

* * *

"Did you get anything?" Kurama inquired as he leaned against a tree in the predawn light.

Hiei snorted, sitting on a branch above Kurama, "Just images of some weird eye."

Kurama put a hand on his mouth to stifle a short laugh, "Weird eye? I suppose it wouldn't look like yours?"

"Hn." Hiei replied derisively, "I saw it in a pair at one point. It doesn't go on the forehead."

"'At one point'?"

"It was moving in a blurred circle at another, like some sort of illusion. Every time it changed, it was always just some other depiction of the same thing."

"Hmm… what did it look like?"

Hiei sent Kurama a mental image.

"Ah… and there was nothing else?"

"When I first tried, the eyes had a face."

"A face?"

"One of the substitute teachers."

Kurama started getting an ominous feeling, "… Professor Uchiha?"

"Hn."

Kurama slumped, questions that he couldn't answer flowing through his head. In an effort to distract himself, he asked something else: "Did you get anything from Naruto?"

"… Ramen, yellow slit eyes, Sasuke, a deep sense of betrayal, and some sort of laugh."

Ramen wasn't a surprise… "Yellow slit eyes?"

"They came with a large amount of … dislike."

That didn't help much… "A laugh?"

Kurama translated Hiei's "Hn." As "You don't want to know."

* * *

"1043… 1044… 1045…"

Lee sweated profusely as he did push-ups on his thumb.

"1046… 1047… 1048…"

His goal was one thousand, fifty.

"… 1049…"

_Just one more…_

"One thousand…"

"Eh, what are you doing, Lee?" Yusuke asked, poking his head into the room in which Lee was exercising.

_No, no… I'm going to fall!_

Lee desperately to steady his arm, but it was shaking too much. He fell with a dull thump, and Yusuke looked on in bewilderment.

Lee sighed, and sat up, "Hello, Yusuke… I have failed doing one thousand and fifty finger push-ups, so now I shall climb this castle with one hand!"

Yusuke sweat-dropped, "Uh… I was just going to ask if you've seen Hiei or Ku– Shuichi."

Lee rubbed his head; searching his memory (as well as soothing the growing lump), _Let's see… I think… in sleep… Temari mentioned something about Hiei mentioning something about… or maybe it was Temari mentioning something about Sasuke mentioning something about Hiei… liking the outdoors, was it?_ "Hmm… no. I would look outside, though."

Yusuke blinked, _why didn't I think of that? _"'Kay, thanks."

Lee smiled, "No problem."

Yusuke left, and Lee did a few stretches to prepare for the climb up the castle. He paused for a moment when he noticed that his wand had fallen on the ground when he fell…

* * *

_Neji watched in trepidation as a small cloud of smoke drew closer by the second, "Don't tell me that's…"_

"_Lee." Tenten finished for him; "He said something about getting to the wand shop a precisely 12:30."_

_Neji activated Byakugan, and immediately jumped to the side. Tenten followed, and was glad she didn't pause to ask when Lee shot through Diagon Alley, bowling over everyone in his way._

_The two teammates of the Beautiful Green Beast shared one sentiment as said Beast flew by: "…"_

* * *

"_Hard work…?" Ollivander wondered, looking through the shelves. There was no way he would get this one wrong…_

"_One day…" Lee stated determinedly, "I shall beat Neji, to prove that hard work triumphs over genius!"_

"_Hmm…" Ollivander thought for moment, "How long have you been trying?"_

_Lee felt quite deflated by the question, "A long time…"_

_Ollivander steeled himself; this one _would _go right. Reaching up, he grunted as he slid a box off the shelf. Lee watched curiously as the old man breathed heavily as he carried the box to the table._

_Ollivander sighed in relief as he rested the insanely heavy case on the desk, "Just to be sure… if this wand doesn't work out,_you're_ carrying it back."_

_Lee looked at him, slightly confused as he lifted a wand out of the box, "Okay…"_

_Moment of silence…_

"_You wave it." Ollivander instructed._

"_Ah…" Lee breathed, enlightened. He waved the wand, admiring its momentum._

_Ollivander didn't admire it quite so much, as it smacked his face and sent him reeling. _That's going to leave a mark…

_Lee suddenly felt awfully light, as if he wasn't wearing his weights. Ollivander's stumble seemed to go in slow motion, and Lee instinctively moved to stop his fall._

_Ollivander blinked as Lee disappeared, and blinked again when he felt Lee behind him, supporting him._

_And there was no damage to his shop!_ _Ollivander almost screamed in triumph. Lee didn't understand the look of demented ecstasy on the shopkeeper's face, but he got the feeling that this wand "worked out"._

"_So… do I get to keep this?" Lee asked._

"_Of course!" Ollivander said cheerfully, "Have a good day!"_

_(Rock Lee – Extremely Condensed Oak, Extremely Condensed Iron, 13 in.)_

* * *

Lee smiled, picked up the absurdly cumbersome (to most people) wand, and headed outside for his climb.

* * *

At breakfast…

* * *

Dumbledore stood up to make an impatiently awaited announcement, "The Advanced Placement Exam will last one week, starting today. Owls have been sent to the parents or guardians of those who would either like to stay to watch the Exam, and those second, third, fourth, and fifth years who signed up to participate. I will now announce those first years that have been deemed fit to enter the Exam…"

Shikamaru noted with trepidation that among the names Dumbledore listed, his and Neji's were the only shinobi not mentioned. Everyone else, including the kunoichi, was there. Not that he didn't see it coming, because if _he_ over-estimated the average enough to become a House Captain, who knew how much everyone else would mess up?

At least there was one Dumbledore didn't get…

"… Everyone will be organized into three-man teams with others of their year and House. There is only one exception, which is on a special request from the Weasely twins. They will be on a team with Neji Hyuuga."

Neji choked, and if looks could kill, Fred and George would be pushing up daisies.

Shikamaru took on a very un-Shikamaru-like countenance in his shock, and his mind raced. They needed someone to back out of the Exam… troublesome static. _Someone_ had to stay in reserve. It would put them at a disadvantage if Dumbledore and the Reikai Tantei found_all_ of them…

"Teams will be announced in common rooms later today, and tomorrow we'll have two preliminary tests, one for first-years and one for everyone else. The Weasely twins and Neji Hyuuga will be taking the first-year preliminary test."

Shikamaru rubbed his head. If only the static didn't limit his thinking so much… he knew there were _at least_ fifty more scenarios that he would normally have thought have by this time that he was missing. What _was_ he missing?

"Good luck. We hope you don't die."

"… Didn't hear about that part." Fred remarked cheerfully. Neji's eyebrows made a very interesting "V" shape.

* * *

Sasuke walked into the Forbidden Forest, climbing a tree before going very far. He called a small snake, whispered a few words to it, and sent it off.

It didn't take long for Orochimaru to appear.

"I see our little friends don't condone a short-notice change of loyalty." Orochimaru remarked, noting Sasuke's not-yet healed scratches and scuffmarks.

Sasuke's mouth thinned slightly, "I thought you might like to know that your curse mark has been somewhat defective ever since we became immortal."

Orochimaru's smile got slightly smaller; "Explain."

"All the seals have been faulty. They act up at odd times, and become powerless at others. As an example, sometimes the seal Kakashi put on your mark will stop working, while the mark will act up… it hurts."

Orochimaru gained a considering look, "I see…"

"And it reacts to odd things."

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow, "Odd things?"

"Such as… just about everything in this school."

Orochimaru looked at the castle curiously, "Interesting…"

* * *

"Would you like to have Akamaru with you during the Advanced Placement Exam?" Dumbledore asked.

"… For what?" Kiba replied.

"Nothing much. A friendly face, a good companion, a convenient weapon… in general, emotional support."

Convenient_ weapon? _"Excuse me, sir, but Akamaru isn't a convenient weapon," _a weapon, yes, but not there solely for_convenience.

"That's what I thought." Dumbledore picked up a quill.

"Sir…" Kiba interrupted, "I wouldn't mind having Akamaru with me for the A.P.E." Akamaru barked.

Dumbledore adjusted his spectacles, "Of course." His hand shifted slightly, and wrote something on the parchment.

* * *

"Shikamaru? … Shikamaru… Shikamaru!"

"Hnnn…" Shikamaru mumbled in protest to whoever was shaking him.

"Have you been sleeping enough?" The voice asked.

_Actually… _"No… why?"

"You just fell asleep…"

_I realize that. _"I do that a lot…"

"Being Ravenclaw's House Captain… is it that hard?"

_I haven't had to do anything relating to that yet, besides explaining the rules to my House. _"Possibly…"

"… You know, I know you fall asleep in class a lot, but it was never quite that… abrupt."

_Ah, my head hurts. Troublesome… _"Hmm…"

"Your head nearly smashed your pancakes. Chouji seemed concerned."

_Eh? What… oh, yeah… someone in reserve… oh. Troublesome static… looks like it's limiting me even more than I thought… how many scenarios did I get to at one time, two hundred fifty? Going to have to remember that… _"I was thinking too much, and got a headache. I'm fine now…"

"… You're about to fall asleep again."

_Is there something wrong with that?_ "So?"

"You may want to at least move to the common room."

_Who's talking anyway? _"Too troublesome…"

"You're pretty used to sleeping on tables, aren't you?"

_I guess so… _"Apparently…"

"If you're sure you don't want to move to the common room…"

_I almost recognize you… _"Why are you persistent about that…?"

"Ah, I'm just not used to eating next to someone who's sleeping for no reason that I'm aware of."

_Ah… Shuichi, or Kurama, according to those reports from Spirit World. _"Reason? I'm lazy." _What more reason could a person need?_

"I… see…"

_How much does that static actually limit me? _Even as Shikamaru thought about it, "that static" was pushing at him to be brought to light. _Ugh… If only I could find out what it _is_…_

Shikamaru felt a twinge of irritation when Kurama started shaking him again.

"Hey, Shikamaru, Dumbledore wants to see us." Oh, not Kurama. Cedric.

Shikamaru grumbled as he pushed himself away from the comfy table, and stood up to follow Cedric out of the Great Hall. Helen soon joined them, and the three of them made their way to Dumbledore's office.

"Ah, hello." Dumbledore greeted when they came in, "I have organized your first task."

_Task…? That sounds troublesome…_

"Tomorrow, you are to test the first years that have been chosen for the Advanced Placement Exam."

"Test?" Helen wondered.

Dumbledore smiled, "You will take on each team separately. I suggest you start by getting to know each other, say… have students on the team say something about themselves. Likes, dislikes, and such."

"And how is this a test?" Cedric asked, even as Shikamaru started getting a distinct feeling of déja vu.

Dumbledore held up a finger, "Ah, but that part isn't the test." Cedric and Helen looked slightly confused, and Shikamaru kept his face carefully blank, "The real test comes afterwards. You will fight the first years, and judge by their performance whether they are actually ready for this. But remember, if you let them pass, then you're sending them into an Exam that will have them go through the Forbidden Forest, test their intelligence, and even pit them against other students, many older than they are."

Shikamaru almost snorted at the irony of the last part. _I seriously doubt there's anyone close to _half_ the age we are. Oh, yeah, I'd better tell the others not to kill anyone…_

"So this is the physical application that Professor Snape mentioned you'd set up?" Cedric asked.

Dumbledore cocked his head, "I thought that wouldn't get past you. Yes, this is a test of your physical capabilities, as well as that of the specified first years."

Shikamaru rubbed his head, muttering "troublesome…" _Should I let the others know beforehand…? … Nah…_

* * *

"**Akamaru?**" Eikichi wondered. 

"**That's right!**" Akamaru yipped.

"**I'm Nibi…**" Nibi meowed.

"**I'm Eikichi!**" Eikichi purred.

"**Who's your Person?**" Akamaru asked.

"**Kuwabara! He's big and nice! Who's your Person?**" Eikichi replied.

"**Kiba! He's my best buddy! We've helped each other out a lot!**" Akamaru barked.

"**I wish I could help Kuwabara…**" Eikichi purred, "**But I'm so little…**"

Akamaru bounced a little, "**But you can **_**always**_** help!**" He encouraged, "**I'm little, and I help Kiba a lot!**" He decided not to add that he could, technically, get_much _bigger if he and the People he came here with did That Thing That They Don't Like… Kiba called it "Synthesis".

"**But how can we help?**" Nibi asked.

Akamaru's tongue lolled out, "**There are special things that I can do with Kiba. Because of that, I'm going to go with him to something that the People are doing. He called it 'ape', I think… anyway, Kuwabara might not take you with him, but you can still go**_**secretly**_"

Eikichi and Nibi's eyes shined, and Eikichi purred, "**That sounds fun! But… how can we help him?**"

Akamaru panted, "**Look for ways… carefully, so he doesn't know. By the way it sounds, he'll probably send you back if he finds you.**"

Nibi unsheathed and re-sheathed his claws nervously "**It might work…**"

* * *

"I somewhat liked the choices for the first First-Year Griffindor and Slytherin teams." Dumbledore remarked to Faux, "They represent their Houses well…"

* * *

"Alright, first years entering the Exam!" Helen said loudly. The noisy common room went silent, and Helen cleared her throat, holding up a sheet of parchment, "Of course, you all know the Griffindor Special Team." She began.

Fred and George slapped Neji on the back, and the Hyuuga responded by filtering some chakra into his hands and slapping their wrists. The twins immediately drew back, their attacked hands half-numb.

Helen's eye twitched, "Anyway… Griffindor First-Year Team Number 1: Kazuma Kuwabara, Naruto Uzumaki, and Harry Potter."

"… Believe it!" Naruto yelled, doing a high-five with Kuwabara. Harry was silent; slightly disappointed that he wasn't on a team with Ron or Hermione.

"Griffindor First-Year Team Number 2…" Helen continued, "Ron Weasely, Hermione Granger, and Rock Lee."

Lee took on a determined pose, "I shall do my best!"

"I really didn't think I did better than the average." Ron remarked to Harry, "I seriously don't think I'm going to get past the preliminary test."

Hermione grimaced, "Probably not."

Ron, who had said that to cheer up Harry, scowled, "_Thanks_."

* * *

Snape stood erect as he held the parchment, not even looking at it, "Because your House Captain is not due to arrive until tomorrow, I will be announcing the Slytherin first year teams that will make it to the preliminary exam." He announced coldly. The students listening remained silent.

Snape raised the parchment, still not looking at it, "Slytherin First-Year Team Number 1: Hiei Jaganshi Sasuke, Uchiha, and Draco Malfoy."

Several girls giggled.

Sasuke's eye twitched.

Hiei remained impassive.

Snape scowled at the writing.

Malfoy wondered whether to be smug that he was in the first team, or apprehensive that he was on a team with two antisocial psychos. He seriously doubted that he would be able to order them around like he did Crabbe and Goyle…

He also wondered whether or not to laugh at the "Hiei Jaganshi Sasuke".

Snape glanced at the parchment, his voice strained with suppressed irritation, "Slytherin First-Year Team Number 2… the Sand Siblings." Snape's eye twitched, and he muttered under his breath "What _idiot_ wrote this?"

* * *

Deep in a dark, wet cave… Tobi sneezed.

* * *

Shikamaru yawned as he read out loud in a monotone, "… Ravenclaw First-Year Team Number 3: Shuichi Minamino, Sakura Haruno, and Shino Aburame …"

He stopped abruptly, _ah, _great_. I'm going to have to_fight_ those three for the preliminary test… that's so troublesome…_

"… Ravenclaw First-Year Team Number 4…

* * *

"Hufflepuff First-Year Team Number 2: Yusuke Urameshi …"

Yusuke clenched his fist, "Yosh…"

"…Kiba Inuzuka …"

Kiba clenched his fist, "Yosh…"

"… And Ino Yamanaka …"

Ino clenched her fist, "Yosh…"

"Hufflepuff First-Year Team Number 3… um…"

"Something wrong?" Tenten asked, looking over Cedric's shoulder, "… What the heck?"

Cedric cleared his throat, "Ah… Hufflepuff First-Year… Team Number 3… Projectile Freak… That Hyuuga Girl… and The Fat Kid."

Dead silence. Chouji's eyes became shadowed.

"'Projectile Freak'?" Tenten said quietly, and a little… ominously.

_That… Hyuuga… girl?_ Hinata thought.

"What kind of idiot wrote that?" Yusuke wondered.

* * *

Deep in a dark, wet cave… Tobi sneezed again.

* * *

"Give me that!" Ino grabbed the parchment, snatched a quill out of someone's hands, and scribbled quickly.

"Not 'fat'…" Chouji said quietly, "It's BIG-BONED!!!"

"Chouji!" Ino yelled, "That's what it says!" She shoved the parchment in Chouji's face before he employed his Baika no Jutsu and destroyed the Hufflepuff common room.

Chouji calmed down when he saw a blotch of ink, and 'big-boned' scribbled below it in English.

* * *

"So who's on your team?" Sakura asked Naruto and Sasuke as the three of them sat on top of a tower, "I've got Shino and Shuichi."

"Harry and Kuwabara." Naruto answered cheerfully.

"Hiei and Malfoy." Sasuke muttered.

Sakura frowned, "That means we've all got a transfer student on our teams."

"… I wonder what the preliminaries are…" Naruto said, changing the subject.

Sakura shrugged, "Shikamaru probably knows. I've heard it has something to do with the House Captains." She paused, "Say, we still don't know who the Slytherin House Captain is…"

Silence.

* * *

"So I guess it's obvious who the captain of our team is going to be." Yusuke remarked. Ino and Kiba nodded, and all three said at the same time, "Me."

…

* * *

Since there are so many things that I'm leaving unexplained (I don't like leaving them unexplained, but plot suspense is plot suspense, and it would be _really_ difficult to do the explanations at this point), I'll let you know now that this fanfic is going to be done in three parts: this part, obviously, is set in the Golden Trio's first year. The second will be set in their second year, and the third will be set in their fourth year.


	44. The Preliminaries

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

_Sleep…_

_"Slytherin House Captain?" Shikamaru replied to Sakura's query, "They haven't said yet. All I know is that whoever it is, they're not a student."_

"_Oh, well…" Sakura sighed in disappointment, "So… what are we doing for the preliminaries?"_

_Shikamaru's eye twitched, "… I'll say this now, for the duration of the Exam: don't kill anyone."_

"_What?" Sakura asked, "That doesn't answer my question."_

"_I know." Shikamaru replied, "But don't worry about it; for most of you, the preliminaries should be a piece of cake."_

"_So for some of us, it won't?" Ino asked._

_Shikamaru sighed, "Let's just say it's a surprise."_

* * *

The chatter in the Great Hall at breakfast, which was somewhat quieter than usual (due to the departure of those students who hadn't signed up for the A.P.E., didn't care to stay and see how it went, and/or didn't have permission from their parent/guardians… the shinobi and kunoichi had all forged letters, as they all wanted to stay, despite Shikamaru's grumbling) quieted as Dumbledore stood up.

"Today…" Dumbledore said, "We will have the preliminaries for the Advanced Placement Exam. House Captains will test first-years, and the heads of houses will test those older than first-year. Now, Professor Snape has something to say."

Dumbledore sat down as Snape stood up, and announced shortly in a quick, clipped tone (though a few noted that he sounded somewhat relieved), "Supposedly, the House Captain of Slytherin is due to finally arrive today." He sat down.

The chatter started up again. There were very few students who weren't curious as to whom the Slytherin House Captain was.

Suddenly, as if on cue, the doors opened with a loud, resounding bang. Standing in the doorway was someone kind of tallish, wearing a large hat… thing… that obscured their face, and a black robe with red clouds. The chattering quieted to whispers.

_Akatsuki? _Sasuke thought.

_What's an Akatsuki member doing here?_ Naruto wondered.

_Another one…_ Shikamaru gave a low groan.

"What's the deal with that hat?" Ron asked quietly.

The hat turned slightly to the left… then the right, indicating (to those who cared) that the wearer was analyzing the crowd. It returned to its first position, and the wearer walked up the aisle.

"Ah, right on time!" Dumbledore greeted cheerfully, standing up, "We just announced that you were due to arrive today."

The Akatsuki member stiffened slightly, and stopped in front of the professors' table.

A gloved hand rose to the rim of the hat…

The students waited with bated breath.

The hat tipped off slightly…

The students leaned forward.

"Good morning, Professor Dumbledore…" A blond man greeted, removing the hat completely, "I apologize for not coming sooner, hm."

Several shinobi and kunoichi drew in sharp breaths. They recognized him… he had been in that dream…

"Good morning, Deidara." Dumbledore said warmly, picking up some parchment from the table, "Would you mind explaining this?"

Dumbledore handed four sheets of parchment to Deidara, who twitched, "How did Tobi mess up _this_ time? … Did I say that out loud?"

Dumbledore smiled as if nothing were amiss, "I'm afraid so. Who is this 'Tobi', if you don't mind me asking?"

"Eh… he's, uh… my secretary! I was in a hurry, so I delegated the job of writing these to him, hm."

"You must have been in a great hurry." Dumbledore remarked.

"Well, yes…" Deidara's smile seemed somewhat strained…

* * *

"_You realize how many people you're inconveniencing." Sasori growled._

"_You're really cynical. You should try watching some fireworks, hm!" Deidara replied._

"_That's the forty-second time you've tried to use that to change the subject."_

"_Fireworks are truly art in one of its purest forms, hm!"_

"_You are inconveniencing Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts. You are inconveniencing Severus Snape, head of the Slytherin House. You are inconveniencing Gaara, a jinchuuriki, Kankuro and Temari, siblings of Gaara, and Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi's younger brother. You are inconveniencing Draco Malfoy, first-year Slytherin student of Hogwarts…"_

* * *

It was when Sasori had started describing the backgrounds of each and every Slytherin first-year (in detail) that Deidara decided that he had procrastinated a bit too long. That was the point where he put on a pair of black gloves (mouths on hands weren't really common), got on his trusty explosive clay bird, and flew off to Hogwarts.

"A great hurry…"

"I see." Dumbledore sat down comfortably, and pointed toward the Slytherin table, "That is where the house you've been assigned to sits. Of course, if you would like to take some time to settle in first, you may."

"I got here ahead of my luggage, hm." Deidara replied, making his way to the Slytherin table and automatically sitting next to Gaara, who scooted away from him.

Gaara had no idea what it was, but something about Deidara was bugging him. It was an extremely ominous feeling, and it looked like Kankuro and Temari felt similarly, if the looks they were shooting the Akatsuki member were anything to go by.

"So…" Deidara looked around at the students staring at him, and turned to a random one, "Draco Malfoy, correct?"

Malfoy smiled, "That's right."

Deidara's ever-present smile got ever so slightly bigger, "Pureblood, of course, hm."

Malfoy wondered what he was getting at, "Can't you tell by the name? Besides, everyone in Slytherin's pureblood."

Deidara seemed to be silently laughing at him now, "Obviously."

"Hey, what are you trying to say?" Malfoy demanded.

"If you're blood is so pure…" Deidara said, "What can it do?"

"… What?" Malfoy was confused now.

"I asked what your blood could do, hm." Deidara replied, "Kekkai genkai… Bloodline Limit…"

"Kek-kai… what?" Malfoy didn't think that that was even English.

"Apparently not." Deidara _definitely_ seemed to be laughing at him now, "To be expected, of course, of people around here, hm."

"Kekkai… gen.… kai?" Definitely not English…

"You see…" Deidara explained, pointing toward Sasuke, "He's a fine example. Blood so pure that it mutates, to create ability _no one_ else but someone of the same lineage can perform… there has been only one exception to that rule, hm: one Hatake Kakashi. His particular limit is known as Sharingan, and he can use the most common form of it. His brother Itachi, on the other hand, has access to a far more rare form, called the Mangekyou Sharingan. I've only seen it once or twice myself, but it can create _deadly_ illusions, hm."

Malfoy heard a cracking sound, and looked to where Deidara was pointing to see Sasuke digging his fork into the table, eyes shadowed.

Deidara casually picked up a piece of chicken, "Thus, I suppose you could say that Sasuke is more pureblood than pureblood, hm."

It took a moment for Malfoy to register what Deidara said, but when he did, he felt quite certain that whoever this person was, he was insane.

Deidara picked up a fork and used it to point vaguely toward the other tables, "The same can be said of that Hufflepuff girl there… and that Griffindor boy there. But coming down to your level of pureblood, I suppose they fit into the category." Deidara gestured down the table (toward the Sand Siblings), "And… those two Ravenclaw boys, that Hufflepuff girl, and those two Hufflepuff boys, hm."

Definitely insane, there was no such thing as more pureblood than pureblood.

Hiei's eye twitched. He couldn't tell whom Deidara was talking about, due to the vagueness of the gesturing, but he felt _quite_ certain that he was a shinobi. But why was he just spouting things like this? It was awfully suspicious…

Kurama's mind raced. He had heard Deidara, as well, and was slightly disappointed that he didn't elaborate a little more, but he was also quite ecstatic, _obviously, Deidara is a shinobi… but whom was he talking about? What does he mean by Sharingan and kekkai genkai? Was the whole 'Hufflepuff girl, Griffindor boy' thing legitimate, or a false trail? Why?_

Try as he might, Kurama couldn't make sense of any of it. Although… he got the strangest feeling he should take things at face value a little more…

"So, that guy's a shinobi…" Kuwabara stated.

Naruto nodded, "If anything, he's that. But how come Akatsuki sent someone else here?"

Kuwabara blinked, "… Akatsuki?"

"Red moon, or something like that?" Hermione interrupted.

"Eh… oh, hi, Hermione!" Naruto greeted, turning around. He didn't like looking at Deidara… for some reason; he made him angry.

"What's Akatsuki?" Hermione asked.

"The organization that guy is from." Naruto replied, pointing at Deidara, "Same as those two substitutes we had. They're powerful. Don't try to fight them."

Deidara, meanwhile, slid one glove off and laid the hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

Sasuke stiffened as he felt something _chew_ on his shoulder, and Deidara leaned down, "I'd like to see you in the Forbidden Forest after the preliminaries… bring your friends, hm."

Sasuke dug his fork deeper into the table.

Hiei narrowed his eyes, projecting the quiet exchange to Kurama.

_Got it…_ Kurama sent back, as he tried to make sense of both the exchange between Sasuke and Deidara, and the one between Naruto and Hermione.

Deidara stood up, sliding the glove back on, "Ah, Professor Dumbledore… it seems my journey has caught up with me, hm."

Dumbledore looked up, "… We've set up a room in the Slytherin common room for you. Hiei can show you the way."

Hiei stood up abruptly, and walked briskly toward the exit. Deidara picked up his hat, and ignored the glares that followed him out of the room.

As soon as they had reached an empty corridor, Hiei spun around faster than the eye could see and pinned Deidara against the wall,

"What are you playing at?" He demanded… only to find his hand wrist-deep in clay.

"You seem short-tempered." Deidara said, behind him, "Just so you know, that clay will explode on my command, hm."

Hiei looked at his hand, and tugged slightly. It was stuck. _Looks like I've underestimated this guy… no matter, if I can just cut myself out…_

There was a sliding sound, "Nice sword, hm."

_There goes plan A…_

"So… what do you know about our fifteen little friends?"

_Nani? Does that mean he's not one of them? Or… _"Is that a trick question?"

"No."

Oy, Kurama… 

_What is it, Hiei?_

"So, what is it you wanted to ask me?"

… _Never mind… _"I asked what I was going to ask."

"I wasn't paying attention, hm."

Hiei growled, tugging his arm, "What are you playing at?"

"I'm investigating something, hm."

"Investigating?"

"Our little friends."

"But you know who they are."

"Of course."

"So what are you investigating?"

"Our little friends."

Hiei's eye twitched. Deidara yawned, "I'll see you at the preliminaries, hm." He left, taking Hiei's katana with him.

"You…" Hiei growled, trying without success to wrench his hand out the hardened clay.

* * *

Afternoon…

* * *

"… You seem to be in somewhat of a predicament." Kurama remarked, watching Hiei's attempts to get his hand out of the clay.

"Shut up and get me out." Hiei growled, "I've been stuck here for nearly two hours. Unless you would like me to Black-Dragon-Wave this castle to oblivion?"

"I suppose that's to be expected…" Kurama remarked (ignoring Hiei's last comment), wielding his rose, "When you take such a little-used corridor. So what did you talk about?"

"He _said_ he's investigating 'our little friends'."

"That's odd…" Kurama frowned as his rose elongated, and he sliced the clay around Hiei's hand, "I heard Naruto say that he's from an organization known as 'Akatsuki', and so were the two substitute teachers we had a while back. He also said 'they're powerful. Don't try to fight them.'"

The clay fractured and crumbled, and Hiei silently stretched the stiff hand.

Kurama's frown deepened as the rose returned to its original form, "Then I suppose it would make sense that Akatsuki is an organization affiliated with the fifteen we're looking for… 'Don't try to fight them'… it would also make sense that that's where Naruto and Sasuke get orders. But wording it like that… I wonder if it's involuntary?"

Hiei looked at Kurama, "It's about time for the preliminaries."

"That's correct." Deidara yawned, appearing at the end of the corridor, and walking slowly toward them, "If you'll follow me, Hiei… we should find Sasuke and Draco, hm."

Hiei scowled.

* * *

"What are we doing here?" Naruto asked as Helen led them (Naruto, Kuwabara, and Harry) to Hagrid's hut.

Helen sighed, "I was having trouble thinking of a good area to use, and Hagrid asked that we do it here, because he wants to see how Harry, Ron, and Hermione turn out. Ah, this should be good."

Helen stopped a little ways from the hut, and sat down on the grass. Naruto, Kuwabara, and Harry looked at each other, and sat down facing her.

"Well, I'm supposed to ask you some questions." Helen told them.

Kuwabara got a sinking feeling, "What kinds of questions?"

"Nothing hard." Helen's mouth twitched, almost smiling, "How about I ask a question, and you'll take turns answering. Say… you, then you, then you." She pointed at Harry, Kuwabara, and Naruto in turn.

"Okay…" Harry said uncertainly.

"Alright, question number one… what is your name?"

"H-Harry Potter." Harry stuttered, taken aback.

"… Kazuma Kuwabara?" Kuwabara wondered what Helen was getting at.

"Naruto Uzumaki, believe it!" Naruto stated.

"Well, as you know, I'm Helen. Question number two: do you have a goal?"

"To survive…?"

"To beat Urameshi!"

"To be recognized!"

Helen smiled, "Question number three: what are your likes and dislikes?"

"I like Quidditch… I suppose I dislike Voldemort."

Helen drew a sharp breath, although neither Naruto nor Kuwabara seemed to take note of the name.

"I like… Yukina! I dislike the shrimp!"

"Eh, what do you not like about seafood?" Naruto asked.

"Not _that _shrimp! Hiei!"

"Ah… oh, wait, it's my turn… I like cup ramen, and Sakura! I dislike the three minutes it takes cup ramen to cook, and Sasuke!"

"Question number four: who is your best friend?"

"Ron."

"Urameshi!"

"Sasuke!"

"… Sasuke is your best friend?" Harry and Kuwabara asked at the same time.

Naruto nodded, "Believe it!"

There was a moment of silence in which "how does that work?" Floated through the air, before Helen cleared her throat, "Well, now that we've gotten to know each other a little… I'm afraid I'm going to have to fight you three."

"What?" Harry asked, just as Kuwabara yelled, "Nani?!"

Helen stood up, "It's a test of your magical capabilities. We House Captains shouldn't send students off into the Advanced Placement Exam without being sure they can handle it."

"I suppose that makes sense…" Harry muttered.

"You think we can't handle it!?" Kuwabara demanded.

Naruto grinned, "You'll see what we're capable of, _dattebayo!_"

_Datte… what? _Helen wondered.

* * *

Shikamaru looked up at the sky as he lay on the grass in a courtyard. Sakura, Shino, and Kurama would probably be here soon enough… too soon…Not many clouds today… 

_I suppose I can't just say they pass without fighting them… maybe I'll just deplete all their energy… and then pass them… or maybe I can fail them…_

"Hello, Shikamaru." Kurama greeted.

Shikamaru sat up, still looking at the clouds, "What… are your names?"

The Ravenclaw team was certainly taken aback.

"Sakura… Haruno…" Sakura stuttered.

"Shuichi Minamino…" Kurama said after a moment's hesitation.

"Shino Aburame." Shino stated.

Shikamaru yawned, "What… is your dream?"

Sakura glanced at Kurama and Shuichi, "Um… to win Sasuke's heart!"

Kurama and Shino were silent. Shikamaru waited patiently, _if I have to ask the questions, you have to answer the questions… and Shino and Sakura, at least, know that I can outwait you all._

…

Tumbleweed rolled out of hammerspace.

…

"To be a good wizard." Kurama answered generically.

…

…

…

"To become an Auror." Shino finally said.

Shikamaru's mouth twitched in satisfaction, "What… is your favorite color?"

"… Pink?"

"Red."

"… Black."

"Now that that's over with…" Shikamaru lay back, "I have to fight you."

"EH!?" Sakura yelled. Kurama's eyes widened, and Shino's head lowered.

* * *

"You pass." Helen panted, holding her hands in the air as Kuwabara pointed a sword composed of Spirit Energy at her forehead "You can put that down now…"

* * *

"Perfect!" Deidara stated, stopping.

"This is…" Malfoy trailed off.

They were on the Quidditch field, although the Slytherin team's attention was drawn more to the large white bird thing standing in the center of the field than the field itself.

Deidara walked to the side of his clay bird, smiling slightly, "I have some questions to ask, hm."

"Go on…" Malfoy prompted, as Hiei and Sasuke glared.

"Well…" Deidara looked at his notes, "We already know each other's names, so let's skip that, hm… what is your goal?"

"Goal?" Malfoy wondered, "I don't really… have any…"

"I know what your goal is…" Deidara said dismissively to Sasuke, "What about… you?"

Hiei's eye twitched, "Hn."

"Fair enough, let's move on. What is your opinion of art?"

"… What?" Malfoy asked.

"A waste of time." Hiei retorted. Deidara turned to Sasuke.

"Die." Sasuke spat.

"You know…" Deidara remarked, "Some may consider killing to be a form of art. I prefer explosions, myself, hm. But anyway… last question, who is your worst enemy, Draco?"

"Eh…?" Malfoy didn't like the way this guy kept him off guard, "Potter, I suppose…"

Deidara turned to Sasuke, "Your worst enemy is Itachi…" And moved right on to Hiei, "And who's your worst enemy?"

Hiei's eyes narrowed, "Besides _you_?"

Deidara was unfazed by the response, "Well, now we get to move on to the fun part, hm!" He pulled three broomsticks off the back of his bird, and tossed them to the three students. Malfoy grabbed one clumsily, Sasuke caught one deftly, and Hiei let his fall without making a move to pick it up.

* * *

"How about we introduce ourselves?" Helen suggested, "As I'm sure you know, I'm Helen."

"Ron Weasely." Ron said uncertainly.

"Hermione Granger." Hermione answered automatically.

"Rock Lee!" Lee stated.

"Do you have any goals?" Helen asked.

"Uh…"

"To graduate with good grades, I suppose…"

Lee clenched his fist, "To beat Neji, and prove that hard work triumphs over genius!"

"What are your likes and dislikes?"

"I like… food… I don't like… uh… Professor Snape?"

"I like gaining points, and I dislike losing points."

"I like hard work! I dislike people who consider themselves above others simply because of their natural abilities!"

"… Who is your best friend?"

"Harry."

"… Harry, I suppose."

"Naruto!"

"And now…" Helen drew her wand, "We fight."

* * *

"Okay, so what are your names?" Cedric asked.

"Ino Yamanaka!" Ino stated proudly.

"Yusuke Urameshi!" Yusuke said in much the same tone.

"Kiba Inuzuka!" Kiba answered in a tone not unlike the previous two.

Cedric wondered if they were related somehow… "Do you have any goals?"

Hearts appeared in Ino's eyes, "To win Sasuke's heart!"

"Not particularly." Yusuke said impudently.

"I guess not…" Kiba replied, petting Akamaru.

_At least they didn't all sound the same this time… _"What's something that makes you unique?"

Cedric got the distinct feeling that the three students were all thinking, or at least feeling, the same thing, _I'm the greatest person alive, _duh!

Cedric sweat-dropped, "Uh, let's move on… why are you participating in the Advanced Placement Exam?"

The hearts returned to Ino's eyes, "Because Sasuke is participating, and he'll _definitely_ get past this part! Oh, yeah, and Sakura's participating."

"Didn't really have much choice, since the Exam was set up specifically for us transfer students." Yusuke said dismissively.

"It's the 'in' thing to do." Kiba said, grinning.

"Well, I suppose that means we move on to the next part." Cedric said, standing up, "I'm going to fight you."

* * *

"Lee, you're supposed to use your wand!" Helen yelled, trying with little to no success to dodge Lee's kicking.

"Ah… so _that's_ why this is supposed to be difficult!" Lee exclaimed drawing his wand, and proceeding to use it as a melee weapon.

"You pass, okay? _You pass_!" Helen yelled.

Lee put down his wand, "You know… I had gotten the impression that this would be a little harder…"

"You must come from a really violent place…" Ron remarked.

Lee thought for a moment, "If you could define 'come from'… and 'violent'… and then how about 'genius' and 'hard work' while you're at it?"

"Never mind…" Ron muttered.

* * *

"I hear the Griffindor First-Year Team Number 1 has already passed." Deidara taunted as he cruised through the air. Sasuke, Hiei, and Malfoy had mounted their brooms, and were flying, but they weren't doing very well.

"And who would that team be?" Malfoy demanded.

Deidara grinned, "Harry Potter…" Malfoy twitched, "… Kazuma Kuwabara…" Hiei scowled, "… and Naruto Uzumaki. Supposedly, their performance was outstanding, hm." Sasuke's eyes became shadowed.

"By the way…" Deidara continued, hovering over Hiei, "Kuwabara says hi." He dropped a clay spider toward the antisocial fire demon, "Katsu!"

* * *

Helen rubbed some ice on her jaw; _I wish I didn't have to test them in succession… _"What are your names?"

"Fred and–" "George Weasely!"

"…"

"Do you have a goal?"

The twins grinned, looking at Neji, "To find out…" "A certain something…"

Neji's eye twitched, "…"

"Okay… what are your likes and dislikes?"

"We like…" "Playing pranks!" "We dislike…" "Getting caught!" "Not that it matters much…" "People can usually guess that we did it."

"…"

Helen mentally sighed at the lack of response she was getting from Neji, "Who is your best friend?"

"George!" "Fred!"

"…"

"All right…" Helen stood up tiredly, "I'm going to fight you now."

* * *

"Um… excuse me, Madam Pomfrey?" Hinata said, walking timidly into the Hospital Wing.

Madam Pomfrey looked up, "Yes?"

"Uh… we, uh… that is, we, a Hufflepuff team…"

Madam Pomfrey cocked her head, "What is it?"

Chouji came in next to Hinata, walking backwards, "Gently, Tenten!"

Hinata winced, "We, uh, incapacitated our House Captain."

Chouji munched happily, "You know, he didn't look that great to begin with. I think Ino and Kiba may have given him some trouble."

"Oy… so your House Captain didn't hold up well, either?" Neji asked, carrying Helen, Fred, and George into the Hospital Wing (don't ask how…).

"Nope." Tenten remarked, "We'll ask if we passed after he wakes up."

"Neji…" Chouji said, "How did your teammates get knocked out?"

"That would have been me." Neji replied, dumping said teammates on a bed, and dropping Helen on a separate one, "It was their fate."

* * *

"YOU PASS ALREADY!!! Hm." Deidara screamed at his pursuers. He had a hard time outmaneuvering them on his bird, as they chased him on the brooms, _maybe implying that Naruto, Kuwabara, and Harry did much better than they did was a mistake…_

They had gotten some pretty insane reflexes since first taking off… particularly after Deidara had made his little comment.

_Crud… I'm out of clay…_

He nose-dived to avoid a zooming wand-wielding Malfoy, spun to avoid a Chidori, and twitched when a katana sliced his bird. _So… I'm going to have to…_

He abruptly turned the bird back up and aimed for Malfoy. Sasuke and Hiei's eyes narrowed as they wondered what he was trying to do.

Malfoy tried to veer out of the way, but Deidara's bird opened its mouth and caught him in it before he got very far.

"Oy…" Deidara turned to Hiei and Sasuke, "Your entire team has to be intact for you to pass, hm."

Hiei and Sasuke glanced at each other, and Deidara took advantage of their momentary confusion to shoot forward, flip the bird, and catch Hiei with its tail while grabbing Sasuke with one foot.

Deidara breathed a sigh of relief as the empty brooms started floating to the ground, and he noticed that the Sand Sibs had arrived. He also noticed that Gaara seemed to pale slightly when he saw the positions of the combatants.

The bird dropped the first team as it landed, but Deidara left a ring of clay around each of their necks, "You pass, and I have another team to test now, hm."

* * *

_Shogi… chess… Chinese checkers…_

Shikamaru watched as Kurama, Shino, and Sakura looked at him warily. He was squatting on the ground, making a sign with his hands while holding his wand with its tip on the grass, his Kagemane holding the three bound. _The board isn't going to stay still for you._

Some bugs crawled out of Shino's sleeve. _You have to plan in advance, or you've already lost._

The Kagemane shifted slightly to grab them, as well._ And have backup plans, so you don't get caught off-guard._

Kurama twitched, and a seed fell onto the ground. _Anticipate all moves._

Shikamaru moved his wand forward slightly and sent a tiny bullet of fire to destroy the seed before it grew into something troublesome. _The board will move…_

Sakura channeled some chakra in an effort to break free. _But whether or not you win depends on whether the board moves you…_

The three Ravenclaws twitched. _Or you move the board._

…_And what if you don't want to win? _Shikamaru sighed, and the Kagemane let go, "You pass."

* * *

Deidara was quite relieved when he finished fighting the Sand Sibs, as they_stopped_ after he told them they passed. The questions had been somewhat monotonous…

* * *

"_I already know your names, so we'll skip that. What are your goals?"_

"…"

"_What is your opinion of art?"_

"…"

"_Who is your worst enemy?"_

"_You."_

"_Your organization."_

"_Your guts."_

* * *

Gaara had said "You." Kankuro had said "Your organization." And Temari had said "Your guts."

But at least they _stopped_ when he told them they passed.

_Now that the annoying part is over, who's next? Crab… bi[Gar Goyle… Pansy. Hm… and there they are!_

"Yo!" Deidara greeted.

* * *

Evening…

* * *

Deidara sighed in relief as the preliminaries _finally_ ended, _so that confirms Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, and Sasuke… eleven to go, hm._

He smiled slightly when he spotted Sasuke, "Hey, kid."

Sasuke stopped abruptly and glared at Deidara, who was somewhat glad he had decided to leave the rings of clay on Hiei and Sasuke's necks… they were a lot less annoying that way.

"Don't forget. Forbidden Forest, and bring your friends." Deidara grinned, "We'll have a little party, hm."

Sasuke's scowl deepened, and he turned on his heel. Deidara chuckled darkly, and walked away.

Hiei and Kurama frowned as they listened, and telepathically agreed to head to the Forbidden Forest. Hopefully arriving before Deidara, Sasuke, and whoever else was coming did.

* * *

"That's… troublesome." Shikamaru grumbled after Sasuke told him Deidara's… request, "That's just… troublesome…"

Sasuke waited for the verdict, rubbing the clay around his neck and wondering (not for the first time) if a carefully used Chidori would get rid of it without decapitating him.

"We're not going." Shikamaru decided, "It would be stupid to just walk into something like that."

"You won't be walking into it." A smug voice said behind them, "You're going to be dragged into it, hm."

Shikamaru spun around, and froze when Deidara pressed a notably ungloved hand to his neck, clay sticking to it. Shikamaru made an almost hissing sound as Deidara slowly circled around him, fastening the clay.

"I've already done the same thing with the rest of you, hm." Deidara told him, "Now, if you'll just tell them to come… I'll be waiting, hm."

"And if we don't?" Shikamaru asked, though he knew the answer.

"I'll be obliged to blast some of you to pieces." Deidara answered, putting the glove back on, "There are some things we would like to know, but we can't just parade them through a place with this many people, hm."

"That's wonderful. Let's have some tea as we discuss the laws of the universe in a beautiful woodland." Shikamaru said.

Deidara blinked, "You sound serious…"

"I'm not. I was hoping to kick and scream bloody murder while you dragged us into a troublesome forest forbidden to young magic-users due to the lethal creatures that infest it, for reasons that you refuse to share until we get there." Shikamaru snapped sarcastically, "We'll come, jerk. I hope you die a troublesome death."

Sasuke blinked. Since when was Shikamaru so… on edge?

* * *

"So, how did you do?" Malfoy asked.

"We passed." Crabbe grumbled.

"You make it sound like that's a bad thing." Malfoy commented.

"He called me 'Gargoyle'." Goyle retorted.

"He called _me_ 'Crabby'!" Crabbe said through grinding teeth. Malfoy snorted, making a valiant attempt to not laugh.

Kind of…

Sort of…

Not really…

He valiantly broke out in uncontrolled cackling.

* * *

"There's a trail…" Kurama said, examining a branch, "We'll follow it."

Hiei's eye twitched at the bit of white clay on the branch, _that's suspicious…_

* * *

"I asked…" Deidara said, "If you would each perform a jutsu, one at a time, hm."

"We know what you said." Temari retorted, "But _why_!?"

"I want to feel your chakra signatures." Deidara snapped, "Now are you going to do it, or not?"

"No, _dattebayo_!" Naruto impulsively yelled. Deidara brought up one hand.

"Oy." Shikamaru interrupted, before Deidara decided to blast anyone to pieces, "Here." He made a sign with his hands, and his shadow stretched a little. He dropped his hands back to his sides, and the shadow returned to its normal position.

Deidara looked intrigued, "… Interesting…"

"_Why_ are we doing this?" Ino demanded. Shikamaru gave her a look that clearly said, "Would you rather go to Home?"

Ino growled, "This is maddening…"

* * *

"This seems to a somewhat indirect path." Kurama remarked, drawing a little line on a large piece of parchment, to mark their progress, "And we wasted time backtracking…"

"Hn."

"Three directions… what do you think, left, right, or center?"

"Hn."

"Center, it is."

* * *

Deidara nodded, eyes closed, as each of the shinobi took turns performing jutsu.

* * *

"The trail ends here… but I think there's another one over there." Kurama said, pointing. Hiei grumbled a little.

"At least we figured out where all three trails went…"

Hiei's eye twitched, "I'd hardly call that a good thing, when the center circled around to the left, and the right led to this dead end."

"It's not necessarily a dead end, you know." Kurama replied.

* * *

"And that just leaves Lee, hm." Deidara said, smiling slightly.

"That's… easier said than done." Sakura remarked worriedly.

"Ah, but he can open gates, correct?" Deidara responded, "So he can just open and close one, and it'll be satisfactory."

Lee scowled, and grudgingly did as Deidara said.

* * *

"Yet another dead end." Hiei grumbled. Kurama frowned at the parchment.

"Oy…"

"Hiei… this is…"

"What?" Hiei couldn't see the parchment.

"Here." Kurama handed it to Hiei, whose scowl deepened.

The 'trail' that they had been following for the past fifteen minutes spelled, in English, and in cursive, "Give up, hm." Except that the 'i' didn't have its dot.

"Think we should try where the 'i' would have its dot?" Kurama suggested.

"_Hn_."

* * *

Deidara smiled as he leaned against a tree. The fifteen shinobi and kunoichi had left, and he waited a little while before concentrating, and removing their little… collars, by reshaping them and causing several small explosions after the new weapons had gotten sufficiently far enough away from Hogwarts.

His smile widened as he felt a couple demons getting closer.

"So, you figured it out, hm?" Deidara asked.

Kurama and Hiei stepped into the clearing.

Kurama sighed, "That trail was quite… roundabout."

"Of course." Deidara answered.

"Still…" Kurama continued, "It's surprisingly… elaborate. If we dismissed the trails entirely, we wouldn't have found out where you were, and if we didn't map it, we wouldn't have figured out where you were, either. But going through all the trails took sufficient time for you to finish whatever you were doing, apparently…"

Deidara stood up, "It would be inconvenient for you to learn the identities of our little friends, hm."

"And I suppose you won't tell us anything about Akatsuki?" Kurama inquired.

"Obviously not, hm."

"I'd_overkill_ you if it wasn't for this…" Hiei growled, laying one hand on the ring of clay around his neck.

"Oh, that…" Deidara blinked, "… I'll take it off after you go back to Piglumps… or whatever that school was called…"

Kurama's eye twitched, "I can't say I like it… but let's go, Hiei."

Hiei spun around, and walked away, leaving several plants burning behind him. Kurama turned to follow, and said over his shoulder, "It's called Hogwarts."

Deidara waved, and waited as they got farther away.

"You're doing a lot of unnecessary things." Kisame remarked, stepping out from behind the tree on which Deidara stood, and looking at where Kurama and Hiei had been, "What are you trying to do?"

"I'm sowing discord in the enemy ranks." Deidara answered, "… Tobi gave me the idea, hm."

"Scary thought…" Kisame mumbled, then louder, "And how did the survey go?"

Deidara's smile got slightly smaller, "We're correct."

* * *

"_And you didn't notice? Your little brother was practically shoving it in your face! Hm.__" Deidara commented._

_Itachi's eye twitched, "__I attributed that to long-term exposure to the curse mark.__"_

"_Well, I suppose you could argue off the two jinchuuriki, as well, but how would you explain everyone else?__" Deidara asked._

"_We didn't pay much attention to 'everyone else'." Kisame snapped, "Besides filing information on them, they're not very significant.__"_

"_That's enough.__" Their leader said, "__Deidara will go check it.__"_

"_Fine, then.__" Deidara grumbled, "__I'll just go check some random little genin with chakra signatures that may possibly carry demonic traces…__"_

* * *

And they all did. Each and every one of the chakra signatures had slight traces of demon chakra.

Now they just had to find out if it tied in to their immortality… although Deidara was also curious as to why it seemed like they didn't notice their own, or at least each other's, odd signatures.

"I take it you've faced the consequences of allowing Tobi to do your job?" Kisame asked.

Deidara twitched, "He was practically _begging_ me to be able to write those lists, hm."

Kisame didn't reply, and Deidara ignored the urge to defend himself some more.

Verbally, anyway… _it wasn't helped by the fact that I was half-asleep when he started begging…_

* * *

I skipped the fight scenes for two reasons, one: because the chapter was getting really big, and two: because I don't think I write fight scenes that well.


	45. Written Exam

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, HP, or Naruto

Dumbledore looked at the statistics on the parchment as he stood, "In the preliminaries yesterday, seven Griffindor teams passed, three of which were first-year."

Fred and George grinned. Helen (who had woken up before they did) had told them that they passed after the preliminaries had ended.

"The same can be said of Slytherin."

Sasuke held a kunai in one hand, and a shuriken in the other, _which one…?_

He turned to Hiei, "Oy, which would you choose, kunai or shuriken?"

Hiei looked at the two small projectiles, "… Yes."

"Five teams from Hufflepuff passed, two of which were first-year."

"Fair enough." Sasuke turned, took aim, and threw the small projectiles at Deidara.

"And finally, eight teams from Ravenclaw passed, one of which was first-year."

Shikamaru yawned, _I wonder if I was a little lenient…_

His eye twitched when he heard two sharp clanging sounds, and he turned slightly, noticing Deidara holding a kunai, with a shuriken and another kunai sitting on the Slytherin table.

"Today, the teams that passed will take a written exam in the Transfiguration classroom at noon."

Just as Dumbledore finished, a fireball shot across the Slytherin table, aimed for that particular House's Captain. Dumbledore's eye twitched as several students jumped out of the way, yelling in shock.

* * *

"Hey, bug-boy." Zabuza… greeted.

"Good morning." Shino returned shortly.

"Shino-san…" Haku said, "About yesterday…"

Shino cocked his head, "Yes?"

"What was the deal with that blond guy?" Zabuza demanded, "What's Akatsuki, why did those other two seem interested in it, and what do they want with you?"

Shino stiffened, not enjoying the memory, "What did you hear?"

"It wasn't so much hearing as watching. We saw him make you all use your chakra, to feel your chakra signatures, which, by the way, seem slightly… off." Zabuza replied, "So, how many gates can that Lee kid open?"

"Irrelevant. What else?" Shino asked.

Zabuza twitched, "Tch."

"… Five. Now go on."

Zabuza smiled at the little victory, "Then you all left, and two other people appeared, a red-haired boy, and a black-haired kid. Apparently whoever it was you were performing for set up some false trails that they followed, which eventually let them know where to find him, but not before you left."

_Shuichi and Hiei…_ Shino deduced, "And?"

"And they didn't say much before leaving." Zabuza snapped, "But we found out that the reason you didn't try to fight that guy was because he had that white… stuff… around your necks. Haku observed that." Haku smiled slightly.

"That was explosive clay." Shino explained shortly, "Was there anything else?"

"Before that guy left, one more person showed up. Blue skin, looked like it had _gills_, and a sword comparable in size to my own."

Shino's head tilted downward. That meant that it was his turn to start explaining, "That would have been Kisame. 'That guy' was Deidara. Both are members of an organization known as Akatsuki, which, apparently, is after the bijuu. It would seem they've become interested in our… immortality."

Zabuza snorted, "Can't blame them."

Shino glared, although neither Haku nor Zabuza noticed, "They're extremely powerful."

"If I may ask, what was the name of the red-headed boy?" Haku asked, "He called his small companion 'Hiei'."

"… In the school, he's known as Shuichi. His name is Kurama." Shino answered, "… Zabuza, you said our chakra signatures seemed slightly off. What do you mean by that?"

Zabuza's eyes narrowed, "I mean your chakra feels _strange_, bug-boy. Subtly strange, but _strange_"

"You can't elaborate more than that?"

"I'm not a master of chakra lore, _kid_"

"Hmm…"

* * *

12:00 p.m., Test Time…

* * *

McGonagall and Snape looked down on the twenty-seven teams of students (thus, eighty-one students total) sitting at the desks. After five minutes of allowing them to sit and stew, McGonagall spoke up, "On your papers, you each have forty-nine questions, of varying difficulty. You have two hours to answer these questions, after which you will be given a final question."

Snape picked up, "If you cheat, you will be disqualified. Your House Captains will check your answers, and if any questions pertaining to any year at or below yours are answered incorrectly, you will be disqualified."

McGonagall held up a pocket watch, "Begin."

With those words of potent inspiration, many quills were raised, and lowered to their respective parchment.

Naruto, sitting between Sakura and Hinata, tapped his quill and didn't bother to put anything on the paper. Sakura leaned over and whispered, "You're supposed to answer the questions here."

"Ah…" Naruto replied quietly.

"No whispering, please." McGonagall reprimanded sharply.

"Ano…" Hinata shifted her paper slightly, and Naruto looked sideways toward it.

_Should I be an honorable wizard, or an honorable shinobi? … WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?!?_

Naruto leaned over his paper, and looked at Hinata's.

Sakura absently wrote her answers. This was just like the Chuunin Exam, except that they were expected to not cheat. What kind of ninja did these people expect to find? _Honest_ ones? She almost laughed at the idea.

Not that she would bother cheating when she knew the answers…

Sasuke was suddenly glad that he had decided to try out these contacts. He didn't need them, of course. The questions weren't particularly difficult (most of them, anyway), but it was always a good idea to keep skills from rusting…

He activated his Sharingan, and copied Hermione's movements.

Lee clenched his fist, looking at the questions… and looked at the questions… and looked at them some more…

"If I cannot answer these…" He vowed quietly, "I shall make up for it, properly, with plenty of training… and more training to make up for my lack of skill with this…" He touched his wand, "As proved by my clumsiness when hitting Helen over the head…"

Neji, who was sitting next to him (fate is cruel…), gave him a funny look, "You hit your House Captain over the head with your wand?" He whispered incredulously.

"She_said_ to fight her." Lee answered, "And to do it with our wands."

Neji slammed his head on the table (drawing a few stares) and hissed, "She meant _magic_."

"Oh!" Lee breathed in understanding, "… That makes sense… I think…"

Neji punctuated each of his next words with a head slam on the table, "Just… shut… _up_."

Although… he still considered himself, Lee, and Tenten to be on the same team… so he waited until McGonagall and Snape stopped staring at him, and surreptitiously switched his filled out paper with Lee's empty one.

Now if the paper would just stop spinning…

Tenten sweat-dropped as she noticed Neji's eyes spinning as he stared at the blank sheet.

"Eh, you know the answers, Lee?" Ron whispered. Lee flashed him a smile, which Ron (unfortunately) took as a yes.

Ron laid his head on the desk, muttering "I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead…"

Lee took pity on the poor kid, and used his mad speed to switch Ron's paper with the one Neji had just sub-consciously filled out (while his eyes were spinning).

Neji blinked at the paper, _if it would just stop spinning…_

Ron raised his head to stare at his paper, and his jaw fell when he saw the answers sitting there in their respective spots… _what the…?_

And what was the deal with those little odd symbol things that sat where some words were supposed to be?

"**Recipe for polyjuice potion… recipe for polyjuice potion…**" Akamaru grumbled, looking over the students from his spot on Kiba's head, "**Ah! Lee has it…**"

Kiba smiled, and whispered, "Ready."

Shino calmly wrote his answers.

Ino looked around the room, _Hmm… Sakura… Hermione… Neji… uh, not Neji… maybe Tenten… oh, wait…_

Snape was dutifully observing the students when something… hit his head. Ino looked down at the sheet of answers in front of him, _I can't get these all down at one time… maybe I'll hit McGonagall, too…_

Snape rubbed his head, feeling a headache coming on.

Chouji munched and wrote at the same time as he looked over Ino's shoulder.

Shikamaru slapped his forehead when he noticed that Ino was using Shintenshin no Jutsu on Snape… and then McGonagall… and then…

Ino smiled at him, and Shikamaru gulped,_ … this is troublesome…_

Ino put her hands in a triangular shape in front of her forehead…

_Ow!_Ino mentally hissed when she popped into Shikamaru's head.

…_What?_

_Ah… nothing… I forgot about your insane IQ… anyway, hope you don't mind me taking over for a bit…_

_You're not supposed to cheat._

_I'm not supposed to get _caught_, now if you'll just…_

Shikamaru felt a large amount of irritation as Ino's jutsu pushed him into a corner of his mind until she was done looking at his answer sheet.

_Sorry,_Ino thought happily just before she returned to her own body. Shikamaru's eye twitched rapidly.

Ino sighed in relief as she wrote the answers she had gotten from Shikamaru; _it was _loud_ in there…_

Gaara held his wand as he made a hand sign, and an eye of sand hovered at the top of the room. He picked up his quill, and took a deep breath to concentrate.

Kankuro and Temari both blinked as sand wrapped around their quills, moving the quills to answer their questions.

_That's really not necessary…_ Temari thought.

"Phew…" Kankuro exhaled, _thought I was a goner there…_

* * *

2:00 p.m.

* * *

"Time's up." McGonagall announced, tapping the desk to signal silence to the now loud room (it had started out quiet enough, but as more students finished, the noise level grew).

The House Captains moved from their positions leaning against the walls, and started gathering papers. Shikamaru shot Ino a look that clearly told her that if she had been in Ravenclaw, he'd fail her (he couldn't tell the teachers that she'd cheated, because then he'd have to say how, and that would be troublesome). For that matter, he had noticed just about all the other shinobi and kunoichi cheating, as well, which was kind of annoying.

What was even more annoying was that neither Sakura nor Shino had cheated, so he couldn't just look through their answers and fail them (well, technically he could, but there would be no point to it).

_Starting at Team 7… I could tell the teachers that Naruto looked at Hinata's paper… except that they already know he's a shinobi, so that would be pointless._

_Sasuke used Sharingan, but they know he's a shinobi, too. And it would be troublesome trying to explain what Sharingan is__…_

_Sakura didn't cheat._

_Team 8. Kiba used Akamaru, but it would be kind of odd to tell the teachers that he can communicate with his dog and use that to covertly cheat on a test._

_Shino didn't cheat._

_Hinata showed her paper to Naruto… but saying that might make her suspicious, and she didn't cheat when getting her own answers._

_Team 10. Ino… no, can't explain her cheating method._

_Chouji looked at Ino's paper… but… I'd really prefer not to fail him…_

_Team Gai. Neji, I know, got some answers by Byakugan, though I don't know how many… then gave answers to Lee and Tenten. Probably had to do all of them for Lee… but I don't know how many for Tenten. I could just say that he gave answers to them, and that can fail all three._

Shikamaru finished picking up the Ravenclaw students' papers, and went back to his position leaning against the wall.

_The Sand Siblings… is there any way to explain an unnatural control over sand? … No, not in wizard terms…_

_But I can fail Team Gai… the question is: should I? Or… do I want to?_

Shikamaru's eyes went from halfway closed to almost completely closed.

McGonagall gave the group a scathing glance, "It is assumed that you are far enough ahead of your year to not cheat." She told them (it sounded as though she was scolding them), "Therefore, you." She pointed to a Slytherin fifth-year just behind Naruto, "Have failed, along with your team. Deidara, you can escort them out."

Deidara smiled slightly, "Of course, hm."

The Slytherin stiffened as Deidara walked over. He stood up and looked at McGonagall defiantly, "I didn't cheat!"

McGonagall ignored him, "You, too." She said, pointing toward a Hufflepuff girl, "You cheat, and you fail. Cedric, if you'll escort the Hufflepuffs out."

"Yes, professor."

The Slytherin boy looked like he was going to protest again, but Deidara slid a glove off and laid that hand on his shoulder, so the next thing the student said was something to the effect of "Ouch!"

Deidara, keeping the mouth on his hand firmly locked on the student's shoulder (and conveniently out of sight), dragged him out, signaling to the student's teammates that they were to follow (which they did).

The others in the room watched silently, and Cedric led out the Hufflepuff team, who, after watching the pain reflected in the Slytherin student's face, wisely decided not to try to attest to their innocence.

When the Hufflepuff and Slytherin House Captains came back in, Deidara's glove was back on, and Cedric was frowning.

"Now that that's done." Snape said, "We can move on the final question. But as a forewarning…"

Major feelings of déjà vu going around…

"…Points cannot normally go negative, but we've made an exception for this. If you cannot answer this question… your House will suffer a 25-point penalty next year. "

And, naturally, there was much gasping…

"Per student."

And, naturally, there was louder gasping. The students started looking a little nervous. Snape smiled sadistically, "Of course, if any of you would like to back out now…"

Malfoy paled (more than he already was…), and his hand got one centimeter off the desk before he felt a blade pressing the back of his throat.

"Don't." Sasuke snapped quietly. He didn't have to worry about being heard; there was quite a bit of talking going on.

Malfoy, gulped, put his hand back on the desk, and sat still enough to make a rock proud. He felt the pressure leave his neck, but he didn't dare try to raise his hand. He would just have to hope fervently that the question wouldn't be too hard…

Sakura sweat-dropped when she saw Sasuke pressing a kunai to the back of Malfoy's neck, mentally giving her condolences to the kid. _Yeah… having Sasuke on your team is pretty rough…_

A few more teams left the room, and Naruto thought for a moment. _My speech worked well enough last time… hmm…_

Naruto grinned, and raised his hand. McGonagall and Snape each raised an eyebrow, but before they could say anything, Naruto slammed the hand back down, "There's no way I'm backing out! Give up after coming this far? That's stupid! I'll never give up! That's my way of the _wizard_, believe it!"

Several students (and a few shinobi/kunoichi) nodded in appreciation, eyes bright with inspiration, as the rest of the shinobi/kunoichi felt like face faulting.

Ron nodded in agreement, "True, that."

Sakura's eye twitched, and her eyes became slightly shadowed, _way of the_wizard_? That sounds so lame._

McGonagall looked over the room, "Then, since it seems no one else is leaving… you pass!"

And there were many wide eyes.

Snape smiled slightly, "If you lack the confidence to answer questions, then you have no business trying to move up a year or two."

"So… the whole point thing…" Malfoy said, trailing off.

"Points can still go negative if you know how to do it." McGonagall answered, "Although only the headmaster can do it, or even knows how."

"We'll check your answers, and give you a form for you to sign if your answers prove satisfactory." Snape told them.

"Tomorrow, you'll move on to the next stage. Be prepared." McGonagall cautioned, "Dismissed."

Naruto stood up confidently, grinning, "Then we'll be seeing you tomorrow, Professor McGonagall-baa-chan!"

Deidara chuckled. Several more students stood up, somewhat uncertainly (and shooting Naruto some odd looks), and the room slowly emptied.

Naruto felt someone tug on his arm as soon as he left the room, and he looked down to find Professor Flitwick.

"Excuse me, but may I have a moment?" Flitwick inquired.

"Hm? Sure!" Naruto followed Flitwick to an empty corridor.

"Naruto… why did you cheat?" Flitwick asked, turning to face him.

"It would have been dishonorable not to, believe it!" Naruto replied proudly. He was slowly getting used to saying "believe it" in place of "dattebayo".

Flitwick cocked his head. That made no sense at all… "D-dishonorable?"

Naruto nodded sagely, "Why be honest when you can be honorable?"

"_What_?"

"When you don't know the answers…" Naruto explained patiently, "Just 'cheat like an honorable ninja; and don't get caught'! Oh, wait… I got caught, didn't I?"

"Um,_yes_." Flitwick stated the obvious.

"Hmm… I'm going to need more practice…" Naruto mumbled, nodding to himself.

"Naruto…" Flitwick said, "This is neither the time nor the place to cheat. This is a wizard school, and as much as we would prefer not to, we'll have to disqualify you if you cheat again."

"Hmph."_So I _definitely_ have to be more careful when cheating._

* * *

Dang, now that the idea for this fanfic is pretty much out of beta mode, and I know more about fanfics in general, I get the urge to kill off Nibi (for being an OC, and for being too close to the main characters… it's really bugging me).

Or perhaps I can just push him into the background, and put him somewhere irrelevant during the first year/second year break. That way I don't have to make anyone mourn him…

I can keep him in his position if you want me to.

Giving us (A) Kill the kitty, (B) Push the kitty out of a relevant position, and (C) Let the kitty stay.

If no one particularly cares, I'll be going with (B).


	46. Forbidden Forest Day 1

Disclaimer: I do not HP, YYH, or Naruto

"Twenty teams have passed the written exam." McGonagall announced, as she, Snape, and the teams that passed stood at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

"Taking an optimistic point of view…" Snape continued for her, "Ten will make it through this test."

"That only makes a 50-percent chance of success…" Hermione remarked. Ron gulped.

"Each team will be given a crystal ball…" McGonagall went on, "A red one, or a blue one. In order to pass this test, you need one red crystal ball, and one blue one. Your entire team needs to be intact, and if, at any point, no one your team is touching a ball, or you want to quit, you will be disqualified and escorted out by a House Captain."

"We'll be patrolling in the forest, and you'll be picked up by whoever's closest." Cedric explained shortly.

"Thank you, Cedric." McGonagall nodded in approval, "When you have successfully acquired a crystal ball opposite the color you already have, you are to return to the castle. If you get lost, just send up some sparks, and a House Captain can show you which way to go. However, it's up to you to get there."

"Wait… we're going to be against other teams?" Ron asked, paling.

"Yes." Snape answered.

"Lee, old buddy…" Ron whispered, "I hope you can do more than hit people over the head with your wand…"

Lee frowned, "_Old_?"

"If we run into anyone, you can leave them to me." Hermione stated.

"Deidara." McGonagall turned to the blond Akatsuki, who smiled.

Twenty small white spider-ish things scuttled out of the trees, and Gaara took an involuntary step back.

"You'll each be entering the forest at a different point." Deidara informed them, "Each of these will lead one team to the point they are to enter, hm."

McGonagall gave the group a scornful glance "You have two days to acquire a crystal ball opposite the color you are given, maintain your own, and return to the castle. Start!"

* * *

"This sure brings back memories, dattebayo!" Naruto remarked (not in the mood to use "believe it").

"Memories?" Harry wondered.

Naruto nodded, "Like when me and Sasuke and… uh… our teammate went to a forest just like this!" _During an Exam almost just like this…_

"Your teammate?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yeah, yeah! Our teammate! She's, uh, _not_ here!" Naruto started sweating, "And, you know, we should probably go look for someone with a blue crystal ball... believe it!" _I wonder how it would sound if I used one right after the other__…_

* * *

Harry looked at the small red crystal ball in his hands.

"So… who to target…?" Hiei touched his headband, "Ten reds… we just _need_ one…"

Sasuke glanced at him, _he says that as if he can see them… hmm… what, exactly, did those reports say? I should have paid more attention…_

"Hey, quit acting like I'm not here!" Malfoy said angrily.

"Quit acting like you're relevant." Hiei shot back, "Now be quiet, ningen, I'm trying to look at something."

* * *

"Shino didn't inform us of something like this…" Haku remarked, looking around from his spot on top of the bowl. There were several groups of children walking around through the forest, though, for the most part, they stayed near the edge.

"Hmph." Zabuza snorted, but then perked up at something, "Oy, get down!"

Haku immediately complied, and looked up to spot a large white bird… thing. But what caught his attention was the person on top of the bird… that "Deidara" guy.

This was the point where several bugs crawled onto a tree, and got into several formations, making kanji symbols, in an explanation of the Exam. Zabuza glared daggers at them, _nice timing,_ bug-boy_…_

* * *

Orochimaru surveyed his target, _not much, but I don't have any minions in this time period… I suppose I can't be picky._

* * *

"Two_days_ in the Forbidden Forest!" Malfoy whined, "Why _two days_!?"

"Better than the original five." Sasuke muttered, "That was a pain…"

"Go moan somewhere we won't hear you, ningen." Hiei snapped, "You're not taking care of the ball, so we don't have to worry about where you wander off to. Just don't get yourself killed."

"Or better yet, just stay here while we go get a red ball." Sasuke added. Malfoy glared at them.

"Fine, and I'll be waiting here when you come back, begging for help." He muttered as they left, _I'll show them…_

Malfoy suddenly froze as he felt something… sinister. A dark chuckle floated through the air, accompanied with a soft, "Well, they don't seem to hold you in high regard…"

Malfoy spun around nervously, "Who's there?"

Something seemed to detach itself from a tree, "But then, you are… weak."

Malfoy's eyes widened.

* * *

Sasuke skidded to a halt, and Hiei looked at him.

"An energy… spike?" Hiei wondered.

"That's…" Sasuke whispered, "Let's go back… _now_."

Hiei gave him a questioning look, but Sasuke didn't wait for an answer before turning, jumping into the trees, and hurrying in the opposite direction.

* * *

"You know, I just got this _really_ bad feeling…" Kuwabara stated.

"Have you ever had ramen?" Naruto asked.

"Uh… not often…"

"Well, there's your answer!"

"Not like that!" Kuwabara protested, "It was something… really,_really_ bad."

"How bad?" Harry asked.

"Bad enough… I think we should check it out." Kuwabara answered nervously, "It's… _really _bad."

* * *

Sakura looked around worriedly, "That was…"

"What?" Kurama asked.

"Something…" Shino's head lowered in concentration, trying to remember where he had felt something like that before. He remembered that it was distant, even at the time… and he had never found out what it was, nor really cared. Sakura seemed awfully concerned, though…

"Shino…" Sakura started, cutting herself off. She put a hand on her left shoulder, and looked toward where the sinister feeling had come from.

Shino shifted his head slightly, grudgingly admitting that he still didn't know what was going on.

"Uh, let's go that way…" Sakura suggested, pointing toward where the feeling had come from. For some reason, the feeling didn't quite the same as… the first time. But it wasn't the feeling itself… it was more like _she_ was feeling it some different way. Like there was something making her more… sensitive to it.

* * *

Ino stopped dead in her tracks. _That feels like…_

"Something wrong, Ino?" Kiba asked.

"… Yes." Ino looked to her right, "It's… like…"

"Hm?" Yusuke cut in, "Am I missing something?"

"No idea." Kiba replied, "Ino?"

"Maybe… we should… go over there." Ino pointed, _what was it? That feeling…_

* * *

Shikamaru stopped dead as he felt something… out of the ordinary. In fact, it felt kind of like…

_What's_he_ trying to pull? I suppose as a House Captain, I'll have to check it out… this is so troublesome._

* * *

Chouji and Tenten both stopped, and Hinata looked at them, confused.

"Oy, Hinata…" Tenten said, "Could you… _look_ over there for a moment?"

"Ano… okay…" Hinata activated Byakugan, and looked hard toward where Tenten was pointing.

"Um… there's Sasuke, Hiei, that Slytherin they were teamed up with… uh…" Hinata drew a sharp breath.

"What do you see?" Chouji asked.

"Ano… I think I recognize… from those pictures… of Orochimaru… like that one Naruto got for Christmas… I think… _he's_ there, too." Hinata answered shakily.

* * *

Neji stopped abruptly.

The Weasely twins looked at him, and George asked, "Getting tired already?"

Neji shook his head, and activated Byakugan, narrowing his eyes at a tree two inches in front of his face. Fred and George took note of the veins that appeared on the side of his head.

Neji paled, jumped into a tree, and hopped away at a rapid pace.

"AH!!!" "HEY!!!" "YOU HAVE OUR ORB!!!" The twins screamed, running after the Hyuuga.

* * *

"It seems I have a shortage of pieces in this time period." Orochimaru told Sasuke and Hiei, as Malfoy curled on the ground, shivering, "I'm stocking up, so to speak. Regaining the pawns."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "Looks more like stocking up on cannon fodder."

Orochimaru chuckled, "They tend to end up with similar fates."

"Oy…" Hiei growled, "Who is this?"

Sasuke's face went blank, "Orochimaru. My sensei, of sorts."

To say Hiei was taken aback would be an understatement, "Sensei?"_And you're telling this to me… why?_

Hiei blinked as he noticed that the area had become deathly silent. Malfoy lay on the ground, unconscious and mostly forgotten, as Sasuke and Orochimaru… looked at each other. Orochimaru smiling almost possessively, while Sasuke just deadpanned. Hiei's eyes narrowed.

A blind human could notice that there were undercurrents.

"Assuming any of those I mark survive, I'm sure you'll instruct them well." Orochimaru said, "You will, after all, be their senpai."

Sasuke's eyes became shadowed, _senpai!? I've been demoted…_

Orochimaru swiveled his head to the sides, "It would appear… it's about time for me to leave."

He stepped back, and seemed to meld into the tree, just before several teams closed on them.

"Neji…!" "Wait up…" Fred and George huffed, and then stopped dead when they saw Sasuke and Hiei, "Ah…" "Shoot…"

"I'm here." Neji told them, sitting on a branch just above the twins.

"SASUKE!!!" Naruto yelled, "… What's wrong with Malfoy?"

"Orochimaru is stocking up on cannon fodder." Sasuke answered calmly, "Assuming Malfoy survives, he'll fall under that category." _Senpai?_

"AH!!! Don't panic!" Naruto screamed, waving his hands at the unconscious Malfoy, "You still have… what was the percentage again?"

"Ten percent." Sasuke muttered, _he couldn't think of anything better than _senpai

"Yeah, yeah!" Naruto turned back to the limp kid, "Don't panic, you obnoxious, loud, whiny jerk! You still have a ten percent chance of survival! So your chance of dying is only ninety percent!"

"You realize he's unconscious?" Sasuke asked, "And that you've just described yourself, as well as thoroughly convinced everyone here that Malfoy is going to die?"

"That would be troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered, leaning against a tree.

"Ten percent chance of survival?" Kurama wondered, leaning against another tree, "Sounds like the odds are not in our little friend's favor."

"So…" Sakura said worriedly, coming out of the shadows, "Oh, no…"

"Yeah… this is pretty bad…" Naruto stated.

"I wonder who else he'll be going after?" Sasuke said, seeming to be thinking out loud, "A single pawn isn't worth much."

Shikamaru's eyes became shadowed, _my thoughts exactly. Good thing Sakura stopped herself from saying that… now; I'm going to have to get going…_

Shikamaru tiredly slipped around the tree and into the shadows, walking for a while before hopping into a tree and shooting across branches, trying for all that he was worth to feel a trace of that sinister chakra.

"Well, that's… unfortunate." Tenten remarked quietly, "I wonder if it would be a mercy for that kid to die."

Neither of her teammates responded, Chouji because he was munching on chips and Hinata because she was absorbed in looking at Naruto.

Tenten sighed, "Come on, we still need to get a red ball."

"What's wrong with Malfoy?" Ron wondered, "It's afternoon, but I never thought of the Forbidden Forest as a good place to nap…"

Lee's eyes were shadowed, "That's… bad."

Hermione looked at Lee curiously, wondering why he made it sound like this was some sort of funeral.

"So that's what it was…" Ino whispered.

"So what's what what was?" Yusuke asked.

"Yeah?" Kiba added, "I just see Sasuke, Hiei, and that Draco guy."

Ino's eye twitched, _that's right… Kiba wasn't there that one time… oh… wait… there was something… hmm…_

Ino laid a hand on her left shoulder, and said with forced lightness, "Looks like Draco got the same _mark_ as Sasuke and _Sakon_." She emphasized the last name to jog Kiba's memory.

Kiba looked confused for a moment, and then paled, "… That's bad."

Yusuke's eye twitched, "Hey, _what am I missing_!?"

* * *

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at the three children. The kinds of people here really were weak…

* * *

Shikamaru abruptly spun ninety degrees as he felt it. _This is unbelievably troublesome… Dumbledore made a mistake in putting all these kids in here for two days. And worse… I can't stop Orochimaru without help…_

_Getting help from Sasuke is out of the question. Naruto would be happy, I'm sure, but Kuwabara ties him down. Am I willing to risk allowing them to know who we are?_

_If I were to consider that a "no", then… Cedric and Helen are far too weak… oh wait…_

He's_ powerful enough… probably… but, but, but, but,_ but_…_

_One, would that really be preferable to just revealing ourselves? And two, how would I work that out?_

…_I'd rather just walk up to Kurama and list our names, backgrounds, and psychology. And then maybe explain what we know of Home while I'm at it…_

Shikamaru hopped to the ground at looked into the small clearing, frustrated, as Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy fell to the ground, writhing.

His eye twitched as a shadow fell over the patch of sunlight, _well, looks like he'll be helping us, anyway… finally, something_convenient_ for a change…_

Orochimaru looked at his three victims in satisfaction, _now a forty percent chance that I'll get one pawn._

"I didn't know _you_ were here."

Orochimaru froze, _that can't be good…_

There was something of a strong wind as Deidara's bird hovered a few feet above the grass, "Traitors among villages are not particularly uncommon, but of traitors among _Akatsuki_ there's been only one, hm."

Orochimaru looked over his shoulder, "I had no reason to remain."

"Akatsuki is an organization of traitors. Thus, you are a traitor to traitors. Also, I'm obligated to kill you, hm."

Shikamaru closed his eyes, sliding down and sitting at the base of the trunk,_maybe I shouldn't be here…_

"KATSU!!!"

Shikamaru's eyes widened as he was pushed forward by the impact of the explosion,_I really should get out of here… oh, wait, those Slytherins… I probably shouldn't leave them there…_

_They'll all probably die, anyway… but…_

Taking a deep breath, Shikamaru pushed himself into a crouching position,_troublesome "leadership position"… troublesome "Exam"… troublesome traitors… troublesome detectives… "It _should_ be a short mission" she said, "it's mostly for the exercise" she said, "none of you have been out in a while," she said… I can't believe our last Hokage had to be a sake-consuming, insanely indebted, old _hag_…_

Shikamaru waited for moment, darted into the clearing, and dragged the three unconscious Slytherin students into the trees just before a second explosion made his ears start ringing, _what next? More Akatsuki show up? That would hardly be a surprise…_

"It's unhealthy to be hanging around a battleground with fighters of this strength." A deep voice told him.

Shikamaru's eye twitched as he looked at the new arrival, _I just _had_ to come up with that scenario… now I know why Neji has such a grudge against fate…_

_He looks like a snail… _"It's the job of the House Captains to look after participants in the Exam."

"Well said." Sasori rumbled.

_Looks like one of them dropped their crystal ball. _Shikamaru paused for a moment to take something out of a pocket. It was a tracking device that had been given to the House Captains.

A mini purple crystal ball, _… yep…_

There were several little dots floating on a flat plane inside the diameter of the crystal ball. At first, there had been ten red and ten blue (as well as four purple). Now three blue and two red dots were flashing, indicating that no one was touching them. One blue was sitting where Deidara and Orochimaru were fighting.

_I'm going to have to take them to the Hospital Wing… not that it'll do them much good… so troublesome…_

An explosion immediately followed another "katsu", and Shikamaru gritted his teeth as he prepared to carry the Slytherin team, _maybe once I get far enough away from here, I can get Cedric or Helen to help…_

* * *

"Nice show." Temari remarked, watching Deidara and Orochimaru go at each other (though it looked like Orochimaru was looking for a way to retreat), "I wonder what he did to those kids?"

"Looks like Shikamaru's taking care of them." Kankuro said, bored, "We've got our orbs already. Think we should head for the castle now?"

Temari shrugged, "Sure, why not? Gaara?"

"Coming."

* * *

Deidara leaned back on his bird, disgruntled, "He got away…"

Sasori didn't bother to reply.

* * *

Bleh… forgot about the swordsman thing… ah, well…


	47. The New Sound Four

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"I don't recognize this…" Madam Pomfrey muttered under her breath, "What do you expect me to do?"

"Have you figured out how it works?" Shikamaru asked.

Madam Pomfrey's mouth thinned, "No, but it seems that it has something to do with magical energy, and they fare far better when they're touching their wands. Probably because of wands being energy catalysts."

_Meaning that a _wand_ might increase their chance of survival? _Shikamaru wondered.

"It seems to be a reconstruction of sorts…" Madam Pomfrey went on, "Giving them more magical reserves, and probably doing something else, but I have no idea what… and more likely than not, it will kill them."

_Tell me something I _don't_ know… _"What do you think their chance of survival is?"

Madam Pomfrey shook her head, "I have no idea. What I _can_ do for them, I have, and it will probably help them survive, but even so, I wouldn't say it's more than fifty-fifty."

"Including how much the wands might help?" _Fifty percent chance of survival is _much_ better than ten percent._

"I don't know how much the wands help." Madam Pomfrey replied, frustrated, "There's too much I don't know."

"Then I guess we'll just have to wait and see." Shikamaru stated, "I've been out of the Forbidden Forest too long, so I'll come back later to see how they're doing." He waved, and walked away.

Madam Pomfrey looked at the three unconscious Slytherins worriedly.

* * *

Darkness… pain… and some voices…

"Looks like he woke up."

"About time."

"Meaning he survived."

"Pity."

Thought came back slowly… _two antisocial psychos…_

"Oy, we should be heading back to the castle now. We have the orbs."

Malfoy wondered when that had happened, but decided it was best not to ask.

"Get up, ningen. You'll probably need some treatment for whatever that slit-eyed guy did to you."

"I doubt wizards will be able to do anything about it."

"Can _you_ do anything about it?"

"…"

"That's what I thought."

Malfoy squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep out the searing light, but to no avail. He opened his eyes slowly, wincing at the pain shooting through his shoulder.

Sasuke looked down at Malfoy; _at least he didn't immediately go into a released state…_

Hiei walked over to Malfoy and dragged him to his feet, "Come on, ningen."

Sasuke's eye twitched, "Oy, careful."

"Hn."

* * *

"This isn't nearly so hard as I remember it!" Naruto said happily, holding their newly acquired blue orb, "I wonder if Sasuke or Sakura have theirs yet…"

Harry's eyes glazed slightly, _I wonder if Ron and Hermione have theirs yet…_

* * *

Ron sighed in relief, "I'm glad we were lucky enough to find that blue ball sitting in that clearing…"

"Personally, I wouldn't mind knowing why it looked like someone fought a war there…" Hermione muttered, "The way it was all blasted up…"

Fire grew in Lee's eyes, "It's a youthful mystery!"

* * *

"Heh, I wouldn't be surprised if we were the first ones to finish!" Yusuke stated, grinning.

Ino and Kiba looked at each other.

"Hello." McGonagall greeted as they entered the Great Hall, "I see you have your orbs. Good." She wrote something on a large sheet of parchment, "We'll be moving on to the next stage tomorrow."

* * *

"Trust little Neji to find a team with a red orb for us!" George said happily.

"And to take it right from under their nose!" Fred added.

"Fourth-year Slytherins, no less!" "Man, the way they looked at Deidara when he told them they didn't have an orb!" "Priceless!"

Steam rose steadily from Neji, "Shut… up!" _Teamwork, indeed! The way they manipulate people… you'd think they were shinobi!_

_And I fell for it… they are _so_ going to die for this…_

* * *

"Hmm? We got here yesterday." Tenten remarked, and nodded toward Sakura, Shino, and Kurama, "Met up with them on the way, and came in together."

Ino's eye twitched.

* * *

"This is boring…" Temari complained, "Maybe we should have stayed in the forest a little longer…"

"Feh, why bother?" Kankuro asked, idly looking at his wand…

* * *

"_That looks kind of cool…" Kankuro remarked, looking at some sort of rotting animal behind a window. He, Temari, and Gaara were in Nocturne Alley, browsing around._

_A sudden breeze sprung up, reeking of youth, and the Sand Sibs turned around slightly._

_Kankuro's eye twitched, "I'll… go get a wand now."_

"_I'll be there in a moment…" Temari replied._

_Gaara turned back to the rotting animal._

"Poison-tipped_?" Ollivander asked, mouth hanging open, "You think your wand should be _poison-tipped_?"_

"_All my weapons are poison-tipped." Kankuro replied, _or, the ones I normally use, anyway...

"_Wands aren't poison-tipped. It's just not done."_

"_Try being a little unconventional once in a while. Spells are fine and all that, but what if you want to _stab_ your enemy?"_

"_Wands aren't made for stabbing!"_

"_Obviously, it wouldn't need to be poisoned if you can hit the head or heart, or dig deep enough for, say, the chest…"_

"_Wands don't normally even have sharp tips!"_

"_But poison especially helps if blood makes you queasy… wait, did you say the tips aren't sharp?"_

"… _Normally…"_

"… _That's just pathetic."_

"_I'll… go… see if I can get you a wand…" Ollivander spun on his heel, and glowered at the wand cases. Kankuro had gone through two, and now there were twin craters in Ollivander's floorboards._

_Ollivander was suddenly hit with inspiration. Perhaps, with all these _odd_ wands he was selling, this would be yet another odd one?_

_Well, Ollivander knew of a very odd one, indeed… one that was often associated with shinobi…_

_(Not quite as odd as that one he had given Naruto, but still…)_

_When Kankuro flicked his third wand, a drop of acid fell from the tip._

_(Kankuro – Puppet Wood, Chakra String, 13 in.)_

* * *

Sasuke blinked, _that presence…_

"Sasuke!"

"Shrimp!"

"Potter!"

"Malfoy…"

(A/N they're all six letters…)

"That was somewhat delayed." Sasuke remarked, "I take it you've gotten your orb?"

"Of course!" Naruto replied proudly, "So… he survived! I told you he would!"

Sasuke's eye twitched, "As I recall, all you did was state the statistics; _ninety percent_ chance of dieing. That sounds more like saying he's going to die."

"_But_ there was the _ten percent_ chance of survival! And _that's_ what counts!" Naruto returned, "If a person doesn't look on the positive side, they might end up like _you_!"

"So what's your point?"

"… I just said it!"

"You know…" Kuwabara interjected, "Shouldn't we be heading back to the castle?"

* * *

…

* * *

"Ah! Out of that stupid forest!" Malfoy yelled, hugging the wall (Snape had given them a short greeting, and left. Hiei had also disappeared somewhere).

Sasuke's eye twitched very rapidly as a small snake slithered up his arm and hissed quietly into his ear.

"Oy…" Sasuke grabbed Malfoy's wrist, and dragged him away from the wall, heading for the Hospital Wing.

"Hey, I _can_ walk!" Malfoy snapped.

"Then walk." Sasuke let go, and Malfoy followed him, seething.

When they reached the Hospital Wing, they found Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy sitting up in their respective beds. Crabbe was rubbing his right shoulder, Pansy was rubbing her left, and Goyle was rubbing the back of his neck. It didn't take long for Sasuke to deduce where Orochimaru had bitten them.

"Where's Madam Pomfrey?" Sasuke asked.

"S-she went to take care of a couple of teams that ran into each other in the Forbidden Forest." Crabbe answered shakily, "They were Griffindor and Slytherin, both fifth-year…"

"Good." Sasuke said. He grabbed Malfoy's wrist as he tried to slip out, and pushed him toward where Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy were sitting, "You are now in the unenviable position of being bearers of the curse mark." Sasuke announced, "Congratulations on your survival, you'll probably wish you were dead soon enough."

His audience collectively gulped.

Sasuke continued heedlessly, "It will slowly erode your psyche, and act up erratically, generating considerable amounts of pain. In addition, it dramatically increases your power if you use it, and will probably kill you in the process.

"As a group, you have been given the title of 'The New Sound Four'. Also, I am your captain… and not your senior student."

"Okay, I _must_ be dreaming if Sasuke said something random…" Crabbe muttered.

Malfoy's eyes narrowed, "And just _who _decided that we're a _group_, and that you were our _captain_?"

"The one who gave you your marks decided on your group and name. As for captain: me, to save time and energy. Unless, of course, you would like to contest that statement?" Sasuke replied.

"We're kind of _bedridden_…" Goyle mumbled.

"I can wait." Sasuke informed him.

Goyle paled, "I, uh… was just saying… ah, n-never mind. Uh, hey, do you all remember that Potions class?"

"Smooth." Malfoy muttered sarcastically, then louder, "Hey,_Uchiha_, you said '_New_ Sound Four', so was there some sort of '_Old _Sound Four' before?"

"Yes, but without the 'old'."

"What happened to them?"

"They died."

Malfoy was almost afraid to ask, "… How?"

"They were killed by ninja of the lowest rank."

"And did they have a _captain_, too?"

"Yes. Together, they made the Sound Five."

"And what happened to him?"

"Again, killed by ninja."

"So he wasn't that far above his subordinates?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to imply something. However, the answer to that question is 'no'. For one, he could easily defeat all of his subordinates at the same time. Two, the ninja that killed him was not low-ranked. I'll tell you the ranks of ninja so that your minds might get close to grasping the difference in power."

_No one asked you to…_ Malfoy thought spitefully.

"Genin are the lowest ranked ninja. They are weak, compared to others, but could defeat _you_ in a heartbeat. The only reason Orochimaru put curse marks on you, was due to the incredibly low quality of power here."

"Olochi…mahloo? That creepy snake freak that bit us?" Pansy asked.

"… Yes. The Sound Four were each defeated by genin, with one exception, a chuunin. Chuunin are one rank above genin, although this particular chuunin was only a higher level than the genin because of his outstanding intelligence."

"Above chuunin is jounin, and one level above jounin is ANBU. ANBU are elite ninja specifically trained for extremely difficult missions.

"The highest rank of ninja is kage. A kage, being the most powerful ninja, leads a village.

"Back to the point. The Sound Four were defeated by genin, while their 'captain', so to speak, fought on equal ground with a kage-level nin. He lost only because of a debilitating sickness."

"Well…" Malfoy grumbled, "I suppose I wouldn't mind seeing_that_ part of history repeat itself…"

"It won't."

"You sound pretty confident."

"I'm _quite_ sure that the captain is not going to die this time."

"… So… what do these _do_ anyway?" Malfoy asked, laying a hand on his right shoulder.

"It immensely increases your power, assuming you survive. There is a second stage that is possible to acquire, which increases your power further, but that requires you to die."

"What kind of obsessed idiot would want _that_?" Malfoy wondered quietly.

"Did you say something?"

"… No. Can this 'Olochimalu' get rid of these?"

"I don't think he's ever tried, or ever will try. And it's 'Orochimaru', not 'Olochimalu'."

"They sound identical…"

"No, they don't."

(A/N In case you do not study Japanese in any form or fashion, Sasuke was using the Japanese r, which, being a downward movement of the tongue, sounds similar to the English l)

"… Say… you have one of these too, right?"

"Yes. It can go to stage two."

"……… Did you get it voluntarily?"

"That's irrelevant."

Malfoy looked at the floor, mumbling, "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

"Sometimes I wonder what your hair would look like with a little_red_ in it."

Malfoy gulped.

"If that's all, I'll be leaving now." Sasuke said coldly, turning on his heel and walking briskly out of the Hospital Wing.

"Great…" Malfoy grumbled when he felt certain that Sasuke was out of hearing range, "In a period of twenty-four hours, we've managed to get cursed by a snake-freak with a long, stupid-sounding name, as well as get ourselves a self-appointed power-obsessed freak of a leader. Oh, yeah, _and_ become our own little squad, named, of all things '_The New Sound Four_', how lame can you get?"

"Not to mention that we've been named after a squad that, according to our 'power-obsessed leader', was _killed_ by_low-level ninja_." Crabbe added.

"_And_ this stupid 'mark' _hurts_!" Goyle whined.

"Certainly a day for freaks…" Pansy finished.

"That… is troublesome. New Sound Four? That's just _great_." A bored sounding voice said from the ceiling. The four Slytherins looked up to find… the Ravenclaw House Captain.

"… How are you _sitting_ on the ceiling?" Malfoy asked.

Shikamaru dropped to the floor, "I'm not, and I wasn't. That would have been disorienting, don't you think?"

"But… you…" Malfoy looked at the ceiling, and then at the floor, "Yeah… but… you just fell… no less than ten feet…?"

"The ceiling is higher than that…" Shikamaru said, waving it off, "But how could I _sit_ on the ceiling? That would be troublesome."

"That's what I would like to know." Malfoy snapped, "You three saw him, didn't you?"

Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy nodded dumbly.

"Are you sure you're thinking straight?" Shikamaru asked.

Malfoy paled, _it will slowly erode your psyche… _"Uh, you know… never mind…" _But, if they saw it, too…_

"So… I see you're all alive." Shikamaru said lightly, "That's good."

"… W-why shouldn't we be alive?" Goyle asked.

Shikamaru looked out a window idly, "Madam Pomfrey was just saying yesterday how the probability of your survival was basically a toss-up. I was… worried."

The Slytherins were silent, so Shikamaru continued, "So… 'New Sound Four'?"

"Hmph…" Malfoy kicked the wall, "Some stupid dead group."

"You can say that again." Shikamaru stated.

"…_What_?" Malfoy demanded.

Shikamaru looked back innocently, "What?"

"Did you know them, or something?"

"Know who?"

"The… Sound Four."

"The who?"

"You just said their name!"

"… What are you talking about?"

"Now I _know_ you're just messing with me!"

"Are you _sure_ you're thinking straight?"

"Of course I am!" Malfoy started sounding slightly less convinced, and turned to get support from Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy, but found them snoring peacefully, _what the… since _when_ did people fall asleep that fast?_

"You know, maybe Madam Pomfrey should have a look at you. You've just been in the Forbidden forest for twenty-four hours, and it looks like you're seeing _and_ hearing things."

Malfoy snapped his gaze back to Shikamaru, "No, I'm not!" _And besides… he said it would _slowly_ erode our psyches… so it_couldn't_ already have started… right?_

"So what's this 'New Sound Four'?"

"See!? You asked that again!"

"Asked what?"

"What the New Sound Four are!"

"The New Sound Four… what is that?"

"You… I… you… but…" Malfoy stuttered, "They're… they're…"_I… he… why… _"… Us!"

"You and what army?"

"… What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"I mean… uh… I mean… us… me, Crabbe, Goyle… and Pansy… they're right there…"

"So you're an official group now? That's troublesome. When did it happen?"

"… When a snake bit us."

"Was the snake poisonous?"

"… I… guess you could say that…" Malfoy rubbed his head.

"Although, it's a good thing we managed to kill the Sound Five, even if we couldn't manage to retrieve Sasuke. Five less minions of Orochimaru to worry about."

"WHAT!?" Malfoy screamed.

"Ow…" Shikamaru put his hands on his ears, "What was _that_ about?"

"I ONLY SAID SOUND FOUR!!! How do you know… about… the…" Malfoy trailed off.

"The… what?"

"Sound Five…"

"But you said Sound Four…"

"That's my point! How do you know about the Sound Five!?"

"… Is there someone else in your group?"

"… I… you… you… I… I… I… Sasuke…"

Shikamaru suddenly looked understanding, and leaned over to whisper in Malfoy's ear, "You'd better not tell the fangirls. Pansy might not survive."

"That's… I…" Malfoy looked around, to find that Shikamaru had disappeared.

* * *

Sasuke stopped walking abruptly, "I can't say I hope you attach Naruto, Sakura, Ino, and the Sand Siblings to me again."

"That would be troublesome. No, I just wanted to know what this 'New Sound Four' is about."

"They all survived, and Orochimaru was impressed enough to give them a title… Naruto, you're not fooling anyone."

"I beg to differ!" Naruto shouted, lowering the sheet that had kept him perfectly concealed against the wall, "Filch walked right by me! And what's the New Sound Four? The old ones severely wounded Kiba and Shikamaru, not to mention that they almost _killed_ Neji and Chouji, believe it! … Although, I suppose circumstances are a little different now…"

"Anyway…" Shikamaru interrupted, "Sasuke, what's the deal with you being their… captain?"

Sasuke glared at the wall, "Hmph. Better than senior student." He muttered.

Naruto's ears perked up, "Eh, what's that I hear? _Senior student_? So you're their _senpai_ now?"

"Shut up."

"Makes sense." Shikamaru pointed out, "Because, technically, that's what he is."

Neither Griffindor nor Slytherin listened. Shikamaru sighed, drew his wand, and planted the tip firmly on the ground. It wasn't necessary, but just in case any students decided to pop up…

Shikamaru's shadow extended, connecting to Naruto and Sasuke's, and freezing the rivals in place, "I messed with Malfoy's head a little, to make sure he won't be keen on talking about his little predicament, and I used a sleep jutsu I learned from Gaara a while back to take care of the other three, so their memories on the incident should be fuzzy. We can tell the others about this during sleep tonight, but until then, I suggest you don't mention it. Also, _don't_ fight each other in the halls."

"But–"

"No, Naruto."

"Hmph."

"And Sasuke, don't provoke him."

There was a moment of silence before they both answered, "Fine…_leader_."

Shikamaru's eye twitched. The sooner this Exam ended and he wasn't constantly reminded about that little detail, the better.

It might not be so bad if the Exam didn't seem so… cheesy.

* * *

As a warning, I'm going to attempt to write several fight scenes in the next couple of chapters (I would rather not, but due to the set-up of the Exam, it's pretty much unavoidable).

But, hey! Practice makes perfect! (Insert weak laugh here)


	48. Tournament Day 1

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Ah, inspiration strikes: **Body language.**

(This can work as a rough system for all animals, if you count barks, hisses, croaks, etc. as well as something that will occur briefly in this chapter)

"Ahem." McGonagall stood in front of the somewhat empty Great Hall, "Eight teams passed the Forbidden Forest. All those who passed are to come to the third-floor corridor in half an hour. Bring your crystal balls."

Although, McGonagall was hardly thinking about what she was saying: _we've had practically no trouble with other students advancing… there have been no attempts in Griffindor or Ravenclaw to get in after failing one or both of the first two tests, but that's probably due to the loyalty between Gryffindors, and Ravenclaws understanding that if they didn't pass the preliminaries and Forbidden Forest, it would be a waste of time and energy trying to advance._

_There have only been a couple of Hufflepuff attempts, neither of which worked…_

_And there's been no shortage of attempts in Slytherin, but that's only resulted in an overly full Hospital Wing until just before the Forbidden Forest._

Shikamaru sank down in his chair. Eight teams… _all_ of which had at least one shinobi or kunoichi in it… _so troublesome…_

* * *

Half-hour later…

* * *

"I wonder what we're doing _this_ time?" Sakura said sarcastically as the eight teams sat just inside the third-floor corridor. Everyone was wearing his or her normal outfit.

"That's a good question…" Naruto remarked.

Sakura slapped her head.

"Idiot, what comes after the Written Exam and the Forest of Death?" Sasuke muttered.

Naruto thought for a moment, "… Oh! The preliminaries!"

"Or, in other words…"

"… Ah… oh, don't tell me! Hm… uh… a… tournament?"

"Yes, Naruto…" Sakura grumbled, "A tournament."

"Ah, everyone's here." McGonagall said, coming in, "Just so you know, from here on I will be referring you by your first names. You need not know why. Gaara, Kankuro, Temari, if you'll come with me…"

(A/N They really should give Tenten and the Sand Sibs last names…)

There were about two minutes of silence before McGonagall returned, and took Tenten, Chouji, Hinata, Sakura, Kurama, and Shino.

Two minutes later, she took Ino, Kiba, and Yusuke.

Then Neji, Fred, and George…

Lee, Ron, and Hermione…

"And now the rest of you…" McGonagall said, "Follow me."

She led them to the door to the room where Fluffy had resided once upon a time, before turning to them, "You brought your crystal balls?"

"Yes." Harry and Naruto answered. Malfoy scuffed his feet while rubbing his neck.

"And you?" McGonagall turned to the Slytherin team.

Sasuke and Hiei looked at Malfoy, who caught their glares, and mumbled, "Yes…"

Hiei pulled the two orbs out of his robe-cloak-ish… outfit.

"Good." McGonagall turned away from them, "A double-seal has been placed on this door. The only way to remove it is bring both a red crystal ball, and a blue one, to the door. Each causes one seal to release, so it's useless to bring one without the other. The headmaster has named it the 'Double-Seal Temporary Release'."

"That sounds cool!" Naruto commented.

McGonagall twitched, _Albus thought so, too… but so far, no one else has. That Ino girl called it "lame"… _"The release lasts while the crystal balls are within a range of one meter. You may go in now."

Harry pulled the two small balls out of a pocket, stepped uncertainly toward the closed doors, and was only slightly reassured when there were several loud clicking sounds.

He pushed the doors open, and emerged in a room that, despite all its new occupants, seemed awfully empty without Fluffy. Not that he minded…

"We brought in teams in the order that they finished." McGonagall said, "As a slight incentive. The ones who returned with their crystal balls first were able to find out what the matches were first."

"M-matches?" Malfoy asked, blood draining from his face.

"Yes, matches." McGonagall replied, "We're going to be having a tournament, which will start as soon as we get technical details worked out. You'll find out what the matches are soon enough."

"Technical details?" Naruto wondered.

"So that students and professors can watch." McGonagall explained, "Now, if you'll wait for a moment…" She drew her wand and walked to a wall, pausing for a moment to flick the wand toward the opposite wall. Some dust rose, forming the words "Match 1".

Malfoy gulped, becoming increasingly nervous. He hadn't slept well, due to the pain in his shoulder, although he had found out that it wasn't so bad when he was holding his wand.

"There." McGonagall stepped back from the wall, "Now… assuming Professor Dumbledore is correct, this should be projected into several large crystal balls in the Great Hall."

"I wonder why students would be so interested in a tournament?" Kurama remarked quietly.

McGonagall heard him, and looked back at him, "Because of Naruto and Sasuke."

Kurama sweat-dropped, _that would also explain why they didn't want watching students to be in the same room as the fighting…_

McGonagall glared at the wall, _it would be nice if I could tell whether or not this is working… I'll just have to trust Albus's ingenuity…_

* * *

"And voila!" Dumbledore said loudly, standing behind the large crystal ball at the front of the Great Hall, which showed an only slightly distorted image of the room the contestants were in, and faced the words 'Match 1' floating in the air, "We have visual!"

The students cheered.

* * *

"I hope this is working…" McGonagall muttered, glancing at the wall. She turned to the group of students, "We will now proceed."

She lifted the wand, and more dust rose to finish the 'Match 1'…

And turning it into 'Match 1: Naruto vs. Draco'.

"Ah… ah…" Malfoy's mouth fell open, the room seeming to swim before his eyes, and his grip on his wand tightened as his face drained of all color, "I… ah…"

"You may resign if you wish." McGonagall said sympathetically.

Malfoy's mouth moved, but no words came out, _resign? That would be humiliating… but, but, but… I… I'm…_

"Yeah, you can resign." Naruto agreed, "It would be mean to fight you, anyway."

"… M-_mean_?" Malfoy demanded.

"Yeah." Naruto replied casually, "You know, 'cuz you got that curse mark and stuff, and you're really weak."

_Why does everyone say that?! _Malfoy thought, infuriated, _it's not that I'm weak; _they're_ just strong! So why do they keep rubbing it in? That Olochi… _something_ freak, Sasuke, Hiei, and now Naruto!? His grades are below Longbottom's!_

"'Give up after coming this far'?" Malfoy sneered, "Just the sort of thing _you_ would consider!"

Naruto was silent, _okay… I _know_ he was trying to imply something by that…_

Sasuke tapped his foot slightly, _why does this feel so familiar…?_

"If we are starting now…" McGonagall interrupted, "We set up those, so you can watch." She pointed toward a stairway, which led up to a railed catwalk that went around the perimeter of the room. The House Captains sat there, one on each side of the room.

The fighting ground emptied as the students went up the stairs, leaving Malfoy glaring at Naruto, and Naruto looking slightly confused. McGonagall stepped back, "Begin."

Naruto cocked his head, "You sure you don't want to resign?"

Malfoy felt blood returning to his face… rapidly, "Resign in a match against _you_? … _Dropout!_"

It was the first insult that popped into his head, but Malfoy realized he had struck a nerve when Naruto's eyes became shadowed.

"If that's how it's going to be…" Naruto said quietly, "Don't blame me if you get ki–… sent to the Hospital Wing."

McGonagall's eye twitched, and Shikamaru rubbed his eyes.

Naruto looked up, and Malfoy took an involuntary step back. Naruto's pupils had turned into slits, with red irises.

_Don't call me a dropout… boy! … I'll still go easy on him, though…_

_As I see it, you're not in any position to call anyone a name that implies they're particularly young._

_Shut up, Kyuubi._

_Make me._

Seething, Naruto drew his wand (eyes changing back to blue), holding it while making a sign, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Malfoy stepped back as several more Narutos appeared in the room, and his grip on his wand tightened, _I hope those are illusions…_

He quickly learned that they weren't, as they kind of surged forward, and attacked/dog-piled him.

It went downhill from there.

Malfoy managed to get himself out of the dog-pile, and watched in slight amusement (but more pain…) as the kage bunshins destroyed themselves. Unfortunately, it didn't take that long for them to redirect their aim back towards him (except for two, who destroyed each other over an argument of whether Ichiraku diet ramen is better than normal Ichiraku ramen).

Malfoy gulped as the smaller crowd of bunshins turned to him, and when they charged, he instinctively raised his wand (hand trembling), whispering, "Expelliarmus…" (Don't think I spelled that right…)

The moment he did so, however, he felt a sharp stab of pain from the bite/mark. He steeled himself, and ignored it when the bolt of light made a couple of clones go 'poof' (literally, of course).

Curious, he steadied his hand, and said slightly louder, "Stupefy."

The clones looked on as a few more of them got hit, and turned back to Malfoy, who looked shocked.

They soon found out why, when marks started to become visible, starting out glowing red as they spread to Malfoy's face in thin, intricate patterns, and fading to black when they stopped.

Malfoy's eyes were wide; _it doesn't hurt like this… but… I hate this! What's with everyone's obsession with power? How come I have to get this stupid, painful _mark_ thing, just because some snake _freak_ decided to put it on me? I… I… why did they have to set up a_tournament?!

_I could… resign…_

_Power… it… does kind of feel… really good…_

Things… small things… random things… like the little cracks in the stone floor… came into focus. The Narutos seemed to be moving much slower. Malfoy's hand started trembling again, but this time it was from the euphoria resulting from the power that he was just starting to really feel.

_But… power… _"Stupefy!"

This time, instead of just a bolt of light, a huge blast flew from the wand, immediately destroying all the clones and leaving Naruto rubbing his head.

Malfoy was vaguely aware of McGonagall's quickened, confused breathing, as well as disturbed muttering from the watchers, and Naruto saying something that sounded like, "That actually hurt a little…"

_Who would risk _dying_ for power!?_

"Yosh!" Naruto yelled, "Let's go!"

Malfoy almost stopped breathing, _But, I… I don't… I can't…_

Sadly, that thought never reached coherency. He was lying on his back in nothing flat, ears ringing, and Naruto standing over him. The mark deactivated.

"Naruto wins!" McGonagall announced, before Naruto could take it further.

"Ah…" Naruto groaned disappointedly, "And it was just starting to get good, too… but then, it would probably be bad for him to stay like that very long…"

"Just go up there, Naruto…" McGonagall sighed, looking worriedly at Malfoy, _what _was_ that?_

_I wasn't informed about that…_ Deidara thought, _but then, it has nothing to do with me._

"Deidara!" McGonagall called, "Would you take Draco? I'm _sure_ you know how to handle this."

Deidara's eye twitched, _I'm not an expert on curse marks, lady… that would have been Orochimaru, who, I am certain, _isn't here_. Ah, _but_…_

Deidara smiled, made a sign with his hands, and disappeared in a poof of smoke. However, instead of the battleground, he reappeared (in a poof of smoke) next to Sasuke, "Oy, you may want to go take care of your buddy, hm."

Sasuke's eye twitched, "Who is this_buddy_ you speak of?"

"Alright, then go take care of your junior student."

Sasuke's eye twitched again, "_Subordinate_, fool."

"Then go take care of your fool subordinate."

Sasuke ground his teeth, "And why should I?"

Deidara narrowed his eyes, "Are you_stalling,_ or something?"

_Stalling? He thinks I'm _stalling? Thinking of no comeback for the question, Sasuke grabbed the railing, and flipped over it, enjoying the rush of air as he fell to the ground below.

* * *

The Great Hall was immediately filled with the squealing of fangirls. The other half of the female population tensed, and prepared to outdo the first half at the first opportunity.

* * *

Malfoy's somewhat bemused mind attained a touch of nervousness as he saw both Naruto _and_ Sasuke standing above him.

"So… Deidara _can't_ handle this?" McGonagall asked skeptically.

"I _could_ handle it." Deidara retorted, "But that would involve writing a letter to the Malfoy family explaining that their son has met a most unfortunate, albeit artistic, demise, hm."

McGonagall looked outraged, and Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George paled. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama's eyes narrowed angrily, and most shinobi and kunoichi adopted shocked faces (it was slightly delayed, but no one noticed).

McGonagall took a deep breath, glaring at Deidara, "Sasuke, please take Draco to the Hospital Wing. Your match is the last of the preliminary ones, so you shouldn't have to worry about getting back late."

Sasuke nodded stiffly, and glanced up at Hiei, who wordlessly tossed him their crystal balls. Sasuke caught them, picked up the dazed Malfoy, and left the room.

"These are preliminaries…?" Ron asked quietly, "I don't think the Professor mentioned that…"

"We shall proceed now." McGonagall said briskly, shooting Deidara one last glare. She flicked her wand, and the dust moved:

Match 2: Hermione vs. Shino.

Hermione gulped, and took a deep breath, _relax… relax… calm… stay calm…_

The two competitors walked to the field of battle, each touching their wands.

"Begin."

Hermione whipped out her wand, aiming it at Shino, "Expelliarmus!"

Shino reacted faster than Hermione would have thought possible, managing to _side step_ the bolt of light. His wand was drawn now, and Hermione's eyes widened when she saw _beetles_ crawling down it.

McGonagall blinked. She had never seen_that_ spell before… or anything like it.

Shino calmly raised his wand, and Hermione instinctively repeated, "Expelliarmus!"

She was actually slightly surprised when the spell hit Shino, sending him reeling backward. He dropped his wand, and the bugs scattered.

There was a moment of silence as Shino crouched, and everyone else just… stared. This time, the shinobi and kunoichi didn't have to fake their shock.

McGonagall waited for moment before announcing "Hermione wins."

Shino stood up slowly, picked up his wand, and returned to the stands, sitting next to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, using body language to communicate, **that was deliberate, wasn't it?**

Shino's head inclined slightly, **yes.**

Of course… Shino, at least, understood the advantages of not letting the Reikai Tantei know what the shinobi and kunoichi didn't want them to know.

Besides, if Shino had wanted to win, it would have been a simple matter of picking up his wand after the bugs scattered, having the bugs circle around Hermione, and using them to confiscate her wand.

Shikamaru smiled slightly, closing his eyes, **I would ask, but I know the answer.**

Chouji, sitting on the other side of Shikamaru, munched away, easily catching the short exchange.

McGonagall flicked her wand, and the dust moved again:

Match 3: Harry vs. Shuichi.

* * *

The fangirls took deep breaths…

* * *

Kurama sighed as he walked to the battleground, _it would be preferable to observe possible shinobi at as close a range as possible… so…_

_Sorry, Harry, but I know you're not a shinobi._

Kurama and Harry faced each other, and McGonagall glanced at one, then the other, "Begin."

Harry's breathing quickened slightly,_okay, I can't beat him by shoving my hands in his face… and Ron and Hermione can't help… so, how can I beat him?_

Kurama calmly flicked his wand (not for any spell-related purposes, of course…) and several plants started growing out of cracks in the floor, blooming into huge beautiful flowers solely for vain purposes.

* * *

And so did the fangirls squeal.

* * *

_I'm so cool._

_Seriously, those things waste space._

_But they look cool._

_You're hopeless…_

_Better hopeless than lame… _Yoko mentally shivered.

Harry looked at the plants warily, gripping his wand tightly.

Kurama sighed, "I suggest you resign."

Harry's eyes narrowed, and he held his ground stubbornly.

"If you're sure…" Kurama raised the wand again, and the plants wrapped around Harry, who looked startled. One of the plants inserted a needle-like thing into Harry's arm, and pumped some non-lethal liquid into his bloodstream. The Griffindor immediately fell asleep.

McGonagall's eye twitched, "Shuichi wins."

The fangirls squealed louder.

Helen took Harry out of the room.

"Well then…" McGonagall turned to the condensed, floating dust, and flicked her wand at it.

Match 4: Gaara vs. Temari.

"Eh…?" Ron said quietly, "So… this doesn't consider houses or teams or anything?"

"The matches were random." Tenten replied, "So, yeah."

Temari took some deep breaths. She had been doing so quietly ever since being informed of the match, but it didn't help. Nonetheless, she walked resolutely to the battleground.

_I will not resign… I will not resign…_

Her resolution shook slightly as she faced Gaara. Unwelcome memories surfaced from when her jinchuuriki brother had been… well, a psycho.

Gaara calmly drew his wand, and Temari's hand twitched; _I will not resign… I will not resign…_

_But_, he was better now… yes, he was good, and had been for eighteen hundred years… yes, no sand… sand… blood…

"Begin." McGonagall said.

Gaara raised the wand, and Temari felt a moment of relief… before sand gathered around the wand.

_I will not resign… I will not resign…_

No, no! It was fine now… yes… just memories… just memories…

Temari's hand inched upward of its own accord; _I will not resign… I will not resign…_

Gaara pointed his wand at her; sand swirling…

* * *

_Ollivander limped back to the shelves. Five wands already… _five_! Ugh… today was just _not_ his day…_

_The most recent had sent a needle of sand to stab his foot, which was made worse by the fact that he felt like he was getting closer._

_Next…_

_Gaara flicked the wand, and Ollivander blinked. It had turned one of his eyes black, with an odd yellow thing in place of the pupil._

"_What?" Gaara asked._

"_Nothing, nothing…" Ollivander took the wand, and returned to the shelves. Gaara's eye returned to relative normalcy._

"_Maybe…" Ollivander pulled yet another box down, _if this doesn't work…

"_This is…" Gaara said quietly, "This is a _wand_?"_

"_An unusual one…" Ollivander replied, "But, yes, it is a wand."_

_Gaara's eyes widened, and the black one returned, followed by a shimmering sheet of sand, which formed into a condensed ball and started bouncing around the shop, destroying anything it hit._

_Ollivander yelped, and ran after it. Gaara watched silently, having a mental conversation with his bijuu involving sand, death, blood, mysteries of the universe, Home, Barney, butter, and the boiling of Barney in butter._

_(Gaara – Glass, Sand, 13 in.)_

* * *

Temari's mouth opened, and she realized her tongue felt dry, "I…" _will not… _"Resign."

"Very well…" McGonagall said, and Temari mentally yelled at herself as she sighed in relief, "Gaara wins."

A flick of the wand, and the dust changed again:

Match 5: Ron vs. Kiba.

"Ah…" Kiba said disappointedly, "How come I have to… ah, never mind." He and Ron walked to the battleground.

"Begin." McGonagall stated.

"Let's go, Akamaru!" Kiba yelled.

Ron gave the puppy (so to speak) a questioning glance, and started feeling slightly panicky when Kiba waved his wand dramatically, and Akamaru turned into a… clone of Kiba.

Shikamaru pressed a fist against his forehead, applying light, steady pressure. It would look odd, after all, if he outright slammed his head against the wall.

_Hm… wizards don't do actual physical fighting…_ Kiba thought contemplatively, _so… Akamaru is going to have to do the work…_

Ron looked nervously at the two Kibas,_I never thought of it like this before, but… maybe I should have paid more attention in class…_

The "maybe I" changed to "I definitely" when one Kiba charged at him, and when Ron realized that that meant the fight was about to _really_ begin, he raised his wand, even though his mind refused to call up any spells.

"I resign!" Ron said loudly, _I beat that troll… but if I don't have to, then why fight? Much easier to just watch…_

_And even if I _did_ jump forward, I'd have to catch up… that would be a nightmare…_

"Very well." McGonagall flicked her wand; "Kiba wins."

The Kiba clone turned back into Akamaru in a poof of smoke, and the real Kiba looked on in disappointment as the dust shifted.

Match 6: Fred vs. Hinata.

Fred and Hinata walked calmly to the battleground, Fred looking straight at Hinata's eyes, _the contacts…_

"Begin."

"Ano…" Hinata said quietly, "Please forgive me if I maim you…"

Fred's eye twitched, "Eh… so, why do you wear contacts?"

Hinata blinked, "I… I… what?"

"A genetic trait, right? Or are you just ashamed of your eye color, whatever it is?" Fred asked.

It was Hinata's eye's turn to twitch, and Naruto yelled from the sidelines, "Don't let him talk to you like that! Beat him up! Go, Hinata!"

Hinata suddenly became quite resolute, and she turned slightly to face McGonagall, "Ano… is it okay to use… martial arts?"

McGonagall looked at the Hyuuga incredulously, "There are… no rules against it. You may use it if you wish, so long as you use magic as well. That is, after all, what this is about."

Ino rolled her eyes.

Hinata looked relieved. She drew her wand, and raised her arms in a certain fighting stance.

Shikamaru applied some more pressure to his forehead. "Ninja" and "stealth" just didn't go together…

Fred watched curiously, "So… what is that?"

Hinata blinked, "E-eh? Ano, it's, uh… a fighting style passed down in the family."

Shikamaru increased the pressure a little more.

"So… does Neji know it, too?"

"Ano… ano… y-yes…"

"How come you say 'ano' so much?"

"A-ano…"

"He's stalling!" Naruto yelled, "Get him, Hinata!"

"Ah…" Hinata smiled slightly, and reset the stance, as it had become slack while they were talking.

Fred looked on thoughtfully, "So, why do you wear contacts?"

Hinata's mouth set, and she looked at Fred determinedly, "Come."

"Well, if that's how it's going to be…" Fred replied, smiling, "… Accio, contacts!"

There was a slight sound as Hinata's contacts popped out, flying to Fred, who snatched them.

Hinata closed her eyes immediately, and relaxed the fighting stance, "Ano… could you give those back, please? I… I need them… please?"

Fred looked carefully at the contacts in his hands, _product number XIII… super-imposes large pupils and gray irises…_

"Ano…" Hinata's voice trembled slightly, "P-please?"

Fred grimaced; _I'm… starting to feel kind of guilty…_

The Weasely (a.k.a. Demon) twin grinned reassuringly, handed Hinata the contacts, and walked off the battleground with a simple statement: "I resign."

"NANI!?" Naruto screamed, "ALL YOU DID WAS TALK!!!"

"Let it go, Naruto." Sakura snapped.

"We are moving on now." McGonagall said before Naruto decided to take it further. She flicked her wand.

Match 7: George vs. Ino.

Ino and George entered the combat zone.

"Begin."

Ino whipped out her wand, but stopped when George held up a hand.

"One moment." George stated, pulling something out of a pocket of his robe, "You know, there's something I would really like to know…"

Ino narrowed her eyes, and the onlookers watched curiously.

George grinned deviously, and held up a stack of little white squares. Ino raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was getting at.

"I would like to propose a trade…" George said, grinning evilly, "You let us borrow your contacts for the day, and in return…"

He flipped over the stack to reveal the top paper to be a moving picture of Sasuke, sitting in a classroom, writing something, "… I'll give you these."

Ino gasped, hearts appearing in her eyes, and replied without taking a moment to think, "Done!"

"Contacts first."

Ino spun around, took out the contacts, and turned back with her eyes closed in typical, cheerful, anime style.

_Suppose you can't have everything…_ George handed Ino the stack of pictures, and the kunoichi gave him her contacts in return.

"I resign!" George said cheerfully, leaving the arena.

McGonagall's eye twitched rapidly, "… Very well. Ino wins."

"I don't have to stay for the rest of the matches, do I?" Ino asked.

McGonagall gave her a somewhat disgusted glance, "No."

"Great!" Ino cheered, "I'll be back for Sasuke's match!" She ran out of the room, keeping her eyes closed, quite glad that she had her team's orbs.

McGonagall's eye gave a final twitch, and she flicked her wand.

Match 8: Kazuma vs. Neji.

"This should be interesting…" Fred chuckled. George grinned, and Ron looked up at them, confused.

"What do you mean by that?" Harry asked.

"Oh…" "No reason…" Harry wondered if they had rigged something…

* * *

Ino giggled slightly as she walked down the hall, holding the stack of pictures, and looking through them.

"_What_ are_ those_?" An irritated sounding voice demanded behind her.

Ino spun around, "Sasuke-kun! I-I didn't notice you!"

Sasuke glared at the pictures in her hands, "Where did _those_ come from?"

"George Weasely gave them to me!" Ino replied, "I gave him my contacts for them, so now I'm going to get my backup pair."

"I mean…" Sasuke growled, "_How_– never mind. I don't want to know." He stalked off.

_Wait…_ Ino thought as she watched him leave, _wasn't he supposed to be taking care of Malfoy…?_

* * *

Neji scowled as he stopped a couple of feet from Kuwabara. He didn't even want to be here, so perhaps he would just put on a show, and get beaten. Except… he had had quite enough pain in the last several months to last a few decades, at least…

Though, if he were to use 'that', he would have to think of a good excuse…

Kuwabara frowned as he faced his opponent. The only one to be sent to the Hospital Wing more than Neji was Neville. He would take it easy on the kid…

"Begin."

Shikamaru watched passively as the two contestants walked down to the battleground. He rubbed his eyes as Neji suddenly fell into a familiar stance.

Neji bit his lip. This was going feel slightly awkward…

Kuwabara raised his wand, tense as he watched the kid bend down with his arms forming an almost straight diagonal line, with the right hand (holding the wand) lower than the left. Kuwabara shouted "Reiken!" And light started forming around his wand into the shape of a shimmering sword. He didn't need the wand to make it, but Dumbledore had asked him to not scare the students.

Neji relaxed, muttering "hakke, sanjuuni shou." It would be too quiet for Kuwabara (and hopefully the other Reikai Tantei) to hear. And to any student close enough, it would sound like an incantation. He knew he should have studied Latin more…

"All right! I'm coming!" Kuwabara shouted, taking one step forward. Neji sweat-dropped as he realized that Kuwabara was taking him lightly. Not that it mattered…

"One!" Neji dashed forward and jabbed Kuwabara's chest with his wand. Kuwabara looked confused, and the Spirit Sword went out.

"Two!" He couldn't really say "palms" because he was using his wand.

"Four!" Kuwabara blinked.

"Eight!" The Tantei had no idea that Neji was quickly disabling him.

"Sixteen!" Neji started getting fancy with his handwork.

"Thirty-two." It was too bad he had to halve the number of hits, because using a palm would look suspicious.

Neji jumped back, and waited for Kuwabara to realize that he had lost.

Kuwabara was quite confused, _so… he jumped forward, poked me, and jumped back? What does he think that'll do, intimidate me?_

Kuwabara raised his wand, and tried to recreate his Spirit Sword.

Silence.

Kuwabara looked at the wand, and tried again to channel his energy into it.

Silence. Neji tapped his foot slightly.

Kuwabara shook the wand, wondering if it was messing him up.

Silence. Neji wondered how long it could possibly take someone to realize that his or her energy had been blocked up.

Kuwabara put his wand away, realizing that he couldn't use it. He turned back to Neji, putting up his fists, "Alright, let's fight like men!"

Everyone else in the room (as well as everyone in the Great Hall) stared at Kuwabara incredulously.

"Excuse me, Kazuma…" McGonagall interrupted, "But what exactly prompts this?"

Kuwabara glanced at her, "We're going to have a pure, honorable fist-fight. Hinata said he could do martial arts, and he did something to keep me from using my abilities, but the fight isn't over yet…" He looked back at Neji, "So let's go!"

McGonagall opened her mouth to just stop the match (if Neji had somehow disabled Kuwabara, then that would make him the winner), but Neji replied before she did.

"Accept it. You've lost."

Kuwabara was incensed, "I haven't lost until I've died!"

Neji's eye twitched. Kuwabara was starting to remind him of Naruto, "This isn't a fight to the death."

"… I know that! My point is that I haven't lost yet! Just because I can't use my Spirit Sword doesn't mean I've lost!"

Neji grunted noncommittally, put his wand away, and fell into the stance Hinata had.

Kuwabara sent his fist flying forward, and Neji accordingly twisted to the side, smacking Kuwabara's arm with an open palm, and following it with a palm to Kuwabara's shoulder.

"Does he think he can beat Kuwabara by hitting and poking him?" Yusuke wondered derisively.

Kuwabara stepped back, wondering why his entire right arm was numbed.

"That's enough." McGonagall said sternly, "We do not need a brawl. Neji wins."

"WHAT?!" Kuwabara yelled, "We were just getting started!"

"Just go, Kazuma." McGonagall snapped, "Shuichi wants to talk to you."

"Eh? O…kay." Kuwabara left the battleground to go to where Kurama, Yusuke, and Hiei were standing. Neji went back to the sidelines.

"I think we should watch the Hyuugas." Kurama said quietly.

Kuwabara was immediately incensed, "You stopped the match for _that_?"

McGonagall flicked her wand.

Match 9: Hiei vs. Lee.

Lee put up a fist, and jumped down to the combat zone, yelling, "Youth shall prevail!"

* * *

Several students in the Great Hall screamed.

* * *

Hiei's eye twitched. He had been planning on jumping down, but doing that now would make him look pitifully stupid, so instead he ran full-speed to the arena, reaching it before Lee hit the ground.

McGonagall relaxed when Lee landed safely, "… Begin."

Hiei pulled out his wand as Lee charged at him, easily side-stepping the thick-browed Griffindor, but noting that he was moving remarkably fast… for a human.

Shikamaru felt a slight trepidation when he saw Hiei's speed, and fervently hoped Lee wouldn't take off his weights.

Lee, thankfully, didn't consider this fight to be important enough to go to such measures, instead taking Hiei's speed to be a challenge… that, naturally, he accepted.

From there, the battle went practically invisible, but eventually, due to the weights, Lee ended up with a katana to his throat and another lost match to add to his list.

"Hiei wins." McGonagall said, shooting the katana a disapproving look, and grudgingly flicking her wand after Hiei and Lee had returned to the sidelines.

Match 10: Sakura vs. Chouji.

"That must be _the_ most random match I've _ever_ heard of." Naruto muttered.

"That's great, Naruto." Sakura snapped, walking to the battleground.

"Begin."

"You know…" Fred whispered as Chouji and Sakura started throwing a couple of random spells at each other, "It's almost as if everyone but us, the transfer students, Cedric, Helen, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are ninja…"

"Their creativity is just getting to you." George whispered back. Not that he needed to, but they both felt better for the verbal support, "If they're above average, then they must have improvised spells before coming to Hogwarts…"

"Still…" "Yeah…"

"That's a lot of ninja…"

"You two seem to be chatting a lot…" Deidara remarked, popping up behind them, "And not paying much attention to the matches, hm."

"Must be your imagination." "We were just noting how strong the competitors are."

"Seems to be a few specific competitors, hm."

"Of course!" "The stronger ones!"

Deidara smiled, "_Of course._"

"Oh, hey…" Fred said, turning his attention to the match, "Looks like–"

"Sakura wins." McGonagall announced, "Cedric, if you will take Chouji to the Hospital Wing…"

"Yes, professor." Cedric replied promptly, looking dubiously at the heavy Hufflepuff. He decided against trying to carry Chouji, in favor of moving him by a method that wasn't so arduous, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

McGonagall waited until the two of them had left to flick her wand.

Match 11: Tenten vs. Kankuro.

Tenten grinned, fingering a scroll. She just had to find a convincing way to implement her wand…

"Begin."

Shikamaru rubbed his eyes as, not only did he learn that Tenten had brought scrolls, but Kankuro had brought his _puppets_.

He looked around the room tiredly, his mind wandering, _it almost seems… like… attributes of us are being magnified. Naruto almost seems stupider than before… Sakura seems to dislike him more, and she and Ino seem to be even more obsessed with Sasuke… who seems to consider them even more annoying, although that's no big surprise…_

_But when Itachi showed up…_

_And then there's Neji… I thought he was getting over that "Fate" thing… Lee… if there was a difference there, I don't think I would notice… but Tenten…_

Some chopsticks with sharpened tips flew at Karasu.

_Anyway… everything is so troublesome… and Chouji eats even more, if that's possible, while Ino is dieting every other week, even though our weight doesn't change unless we change our age appearance…_

_Shino… I wouldn't notice a difference there… Hinata… more focused on Naruto? Maybe I'll see if that's the case… Kiba… perhaps louder…_

_Gaara… nothing I've noticed… Kankuro… nothing I've noticed… Temari… troublesome, as always, but nothing abnormally pronounced that I've noticed…_

"Tenten wins."

Shikamaru blinked out of his reverie, to find that Karasu and Kuroari had been poked full of holes, and Tenten was holding Karasu's head, with the blade sticking out of its mouth a few inches from her face. In her other hand she held a sword, which touched Kankuro's nose. She dropped the weapons, and they both returned to the sidelines.

McGonagall flicked her wand.

Match 12: Yusuke vs. Sasuke.

Shikamaru suddenly felt _very_ tired, as if the half-sleep in which the fifteen recovered lost energy wasn't sufficient to sustain him.

Simply because, judging by everything_else_ that had occurred, and comparing it with the Chuunin Exam, Shikamaru knew that Sasuke was going to be late.

"Shouldn't he be back by now?" Yusuke asked, entering the arena.

"We'll give him some time." McGonagall replied.

The doors opened…

"I'm not late, am I?" Ino asked.

"No…" McGonagall sighed, "We'll wait five minutes. If Sasuke hasn't shown up by then…"

Ino frowned, and walked up the stairs to stand next to Sakura.

_If she says five minutes, he'll be here about a minute or so afterwards._ Shikamaru noted. In a moment of curiosity and boredom, he said, "How about we give him one minute?"

McGonagall gave Shikamaru a questioning look, "Why?"

Shikamaru looked back neutrally, "He's had plenty of time to get Malfoy to the Hospital Wing and come back. If he doesn't get here soon, it means he doesn't care about this tournament, and, subsequently, advancing."

"What if Peeves held him up?" Ron asked.

Shikamaru waved it off, "If he tried, then that would make the first time I felt sorry for a ghost."

There was silence for fifty-nine seconds (once it had started, no one felt like breaking it, even though it started feeling slightly awkward after the first ten seconds).

The doors opened again, and Sasuke walked in, looking extremely irritated.

Kurama blinked, able to guess what had happened.

McGonagall looked at Sasuke coolly, "Would you mind sharing with us the reason for your extended absence?"

Sasuke glared at her, "Fangirls."

Kurama nodded in understanding.

"What, exactly, does that mean?" Yusuke asked.

Kurama answered for him, "They tend to show up frequently, but particularly when they know you're alone. It's easy to just walk off when they manage to appear in mobs, because at those points, they have a tendency of separating into catfights, if that hadn't already stopped them on the way. It's a little harder when only one comes, because she'll stick like glue–"

"To someone who tries to politely push her off." Sasuke interrupted, "They came in a mob, so I_singed _them a little. If only one comes, then that's one less fangirl to worry about, unless she's so obsessed that she's willing to ignore… how did the topic get here?" He looked at the floating dust, "… Are we starting or not?"

Kurama felt slightly depressed, _any fangirls he scares off will probably defect to me… oh, well…_

McGonagall sniffed disdainfully, "Yes, we are starting. Begin."

Yusuke grinned, and drew his wand, pointing it directly at Sasuke.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he activated Sharingan, watching the wand carefully.

Yusuke's initial adrenaline rush faded slightly when Sasuke just… stood there.

He hesitated, wondering what the Slytherin was up to.

…

"This is _very_ interesting…" Hiei muttered, "I wonder if, perhaps, they're going to _do_something?"

"Patience…" Kurama replied quietly, "They're probably assessing each other…"

"You know…" Kuwabara yawned, "This is making me think of a stalemate…"

Sasuke was starting to get slightly impatient, waiting for Yusuke to make a move, so he could see any weaknesses the Hufflepuff might have.

Yusuke, meanwhile, was trying to think of anything of Sasuke might be planning… because… because… his mind drew a blank.

…

Yusuke and Sasuke both gave up on their first (semi) plans at the same time. Yusuke, impatient, didn't even bother shouting "Rei Gan" as he shot a bullet of spirit energy at Sasuke, who had _just_ moved away.

Sasuke watched, unimpressed, as he rapidly made signs with his hands.

Yusuke spun back to face him as Sasuke took a deep breath, "Katon! Gokakyuu no jutsu!"

Yusuke's eyes widened as a huge ball of fire shot toward him, and he jumped out of its path.

He didn't have time to rest, as Sasuke threw a couple of shuriken at him.

Yusuke fumed, _if this is a magic match, he shouldn't even be allowed to do that!_

A kunai shot right past his head, and Yusuke turned slightly, wondering how bad Sasuke's aim was.

His eyes widened when the kunai exploded.

Yusuke jumped backward, "What was_that_?!"

Sasuke held another kunai, wrapping something around its hilt, "One of the most basic shinobi tools."

Kurama squinted, whispering, "But… what was it?"

"Exploding tag." Naruto explained.

Kurama looked at Naruto, shocked, "Exploding _tag_?"

"Yeah." Naruto grinned, "Tags that explode. You can wrap them around the hilt of a kunai, or you can tie them on, or you can stick them on something… and then they fizzle and explode."

Down below, Yusuke dodged a few shuriken, and had to jump to avoid three kunai, which exploded when they hit walls.

He was getting quite irritated now, so he used Rei Gan and started rapid firing Sasuke.

Sasuke instinctively ran up a wall, hopped off diagonally, bounced off a railing right in front of the Weasely twins, and settled onto the ceiling.

Yusuke blinked, "ARE YOU SUGAR-HIGH OR SOMETHING!?"

Kuwabara's mouth hung open, "I have_never_ seen someone _literally_ bounce off walls before…"

"Hey!" Yusuke yelled, "How are you staying up there, anyway!?"

Sasuke looked down at him, "Basic shinobi technique: chakra suction."

"Whatever that is…" Yusuke growled, holding up his pointer finger and aiming at Sasuke.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he signed another Katon.

Fireballs and energy bullets met each other halfway between the ceiling and floor, generating somewhat large explosions.

Sasuke suddenly disappeared, and Yusuke looked around, confused… until a sandaled foot collided with his chin, and he went flying upwards.

Naruto yawned as Sasuke used his Lion Combo on Yusuke.

"Do shinobi aspire to be birds or something?" Kuwabara asked.

"Naw…" Naruto replied, "We just get missions done. Pulling weeds… being bodyguards… walking dogs… we barely _ever_ got any cool missions before Sasuke left…"

Kurama's ears perked up, "Sasuke left… where?"

Naruto hunched down and grumbled inaudibly.

Sasuke's eyes widened as he was finishing the Lion Combo, and he and Yusuke crashed through the ground.

He had just happened to end up in the spot the trap door had previously occupied.

"Ack… that hurts…" Yusuke said, grabbing Sasuke's foot, pushing him off, and flipping him around midair, "… why are we still falling?"

Instead of answering, Sasuke slapped his hands onto the wall just before they entered the room that had housed the late Devil's Snare, filtering chakra into his hands to stick to the smooth wall and flipping around so that he was right side up again.

Yusuke, seeing that the ground was still distant, grabbed one of Sasuke's feet.

Sasuke hissed at the unexpected jerk on his leg, and brought up the unencumbered foot to hang onto the wall as well, in order to help sustain the extra weight.

"Let… go…" Sasuke growled.

"I would…" Yusuke replied, "But the floor is pretty far down… and how would I get back up?"

"Don't expect me to carry you." Sasuke snapped.

"Hey!" Yusuke retorted, "I can get back up on my own, just not from down there!"

Sasuke could see why: the trap door opened up into a somewhat thin tunnel, and he could reach opposite sides without difficulty, but he was hanging on to the edge of that tunnel, where it opened up into a much larger area.

Sasuke tried without avail to shake off Yusuke, who held on stubbornly, and even felt slightly satisfied when Sasuke glared at him.

Letting out a breath that hissed between his grinding teeth, Sasuke let go of the wall.

"Wha– hey!" Yusuke let go, and braced himself as he and Sasuke fell to the ground.

"There's more room down here, anyway." Sasuke said quietly, taking out his contacts as they landed. The contacts made Sharingan invisible, but at the same time, impaired it, and he had decided to go all-out.

Yusuke looked around, decided to count on the professors and his friends to get him out after this, and pointed at Sasuke, gathering spirit energy in his finger.

* * *

"You think they're okay?" Ron asked nervously, hunching over the hole, as was just about everyone else.

"I'm sure they're fine." Kurama soothed.

"I wonder what's going on down there?" Kuwabara said.

"I can venture a guess." Naruto muttered when he heard some distant chirping.

"I'll go down." McGonagall stated, hopping into the hole.

* * *

_IDIOT!!!_ Sasuke mentally screamed as his Chidori rammed through Yusuke's shoulder, _when someone's charging at you, you don't just stand there and wait until you can hit them at point-blank!_

"Rei Gan!"

_Although…_ he reconsidered as Yusuke's Spirit Gun shot through his shoulder, _if you're_trying_ to take your enemy down with you…_

* * *

McGonagall gasped when she arrived to find Yusuke on the ground, unconscious and bleeding profusely, and Sasuke standing over him, conscious, but also bleeding profusely.

* * *

Later…

* * *

"They'll live." Madam Pomfrey said, mixing something, "Sasuke sustained far less damage than Yusuke, because, while it would appear they were both aiming for far above the heart so as not to kill the other, Yusuke shot far above_that_, due to dizziness."

McGonagall let out a relieved breath, "Well then… I suppose Sasuke wins."

* * *

"**We couldn't help Kuwabara…**" Eikichi meowed sadly, "**We couldn't get out when he went to the Forbidden Forest… and we couldn't get in for the preliminaries…**"

Akamaru whimpered in sympathy, "**Well, even if you can't help him when he's fighting… always support him! Be his very best friends, and you can help him through **_**anything**_**. I couldn't always help Kiba, but I was always there for him.**"

Eikichi and Nibi brightened, and Eikichi purred, "**Thanks, Akamaru!**"

* * *

I think the spells seem slightly repetitious… but then, excluding Fred and George, the only wizards/witch competitors _are_ first-year…

Now that the chapter has turned out like this, it's really dawned on me how the HP characters are _not_ ready for any sort of fighting in first year.

Grr... I can't for the life of me find out what the Japanese name for "Lion Combo" is... I can only remember "Rendan".


	49. Tournament Day 2

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Temari yawned as she sat up… brushing her hand against her wand…

* * *

"_It's… metal." Temari commented._

"_Well, it is that…" Ollivander replied, "Are you going to wave it or not?"_

_Temari blinked as she detected something about the feel of her wand… curious, she pressed her pointer finger and thumb against opposite sides of the wand, and twisted._

_Sure enough, the tip parted, with the two pieces of the wand joined at the base._

"_Ah, I see you noticed." Ollivander said, feeling somewhat pleased, "I rather liked how that turned out."_

_Temari didn't reply, opting instead to filter some chakra into the wand. The chakra immediately shot through the thin pieces of metal, creating a web-ish thing across the two pieces, and looking a _lot_ like a fan._

_Temari grinned evilly, and swung the little fan._

_Ollivander brought his arms up instinctively as a huge gust of wind blew through his shop, tearing up the ceiling, floor, walls, and shelves._

"_Thanks." Temari said graciously, dropping a couple of galleons on the untouched desk. Ollivander made a croaking noise that she decided to interpret, as "you're welcome"._

_(Temari – Steel, Pegasus Feather, 13 in.)_

* * *

… _The continuation of the tournament is about to start… _Temari sighed, and got up.

* * *

"Hello." Dumbledore said in greeting the students as they entered the Great Hall (though the tables had been removed). The students consisted of everyone who had been in the preliminaries, "We will have the rest of the matches condensed into one day, and they will be projected to the rest of the students, in the common rooms. Everyone who reached the preliminaries has been allowed the privilege of watching close-up. Snape here will be the announcer."

"Then let's get started, dattebayo!" Naruto yelled, "… Who's going first?"

"Wait!" Ron protested, "What if some spell gets redirected at watchers?"

"That's what _they_ are for." Snape replied, indicating the House Captains sitting in the corners.

"We even decided on quarters of the room, so that we won't get in each other's way trying to keep a redirected spell from hitting anyone." Shikamaru yawned.

"If that's settled…" Snape stepped back, "Naruto and Hermione, step up. Everyone else, step back, to your House Captain."

Naruto and Hermione walked to the general center of the Great Hall, and everyone else looked around for a moment before moving away toward their House Captains.

Although, even though the Sand Sibs, Sasuke, Hiei, and Malfoy were_technically_ in Deidara's corner, they put a fair amount of space between themselves and him.

Deidara grinned wryly, _I feel so loved…_

Snape looked between Naruto and Hermione, and stated coldly, "Begin."

Naruto grinned, _forgot_ to draw his wand, and made a sign with his hands, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Hermione forced herself to breath slowly as she was suddenly faced with not one Naruto, but eight, _Malfoy was able to make the… clones? He made them disappear… so… if I… wait…_

Hermione took a deep breath, and performed the swish and flick, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

One Naruto was suddenly picked up, and thrown against the rest, creating a domino effect, and all but one Naruto disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Hermione calmed down slightly, even as she felt adrenaline rush through her, _I can do this…_

Naruto looked slightly irritated, and made several more kage bunshins, which again ran at Hermione, who again destroyed them by using Wingardium Leviosa to throw them at each other.

Naruto's eye started twitching, and he once again used Kage Bunshin… to fill half the hall with clones of himself.

Hermione's hand shivered slightly, "Wingar–"

"HA!!" Naruto yelled, standing behind her, "Can't catch me!"

Hermione spun around, raising her wand, which Naruto effortlessly took out of her sweaty hand.

"Sorry!" Naruto called, hopping out of reach as Hermione tried to grab her wand back, "But you know, if you had gone against someone else, you might have gotten hurt, believe it!"

Hermione glared as Snape announced, "Naruto wins."

"Here's your wand." Naruto said carelessly, tossing the stick over his shoulder and walking away.

Hermione clumsily caught the wand, glared at Naruto's back (although she also felt slightly relieved to finally be done fighting), and followed him.

"Well, you got farther than us, at least." Harry remarked.

Snape surveyed the room, "Kurama, Gaara… your turn."

The Ravenclaw and Slytherin walked to the center of the room, surveying each other.

"Begin."

"You know, that symbol on your forehead…" Kurama said quietly, "Do you study Japanese?"

"Something like that." Gaara replied tonelessly, drawing his wand.

"I see…" Kurama drew his wand, as well, flicking it for show, and causing several plants to grow.

* * *

The Ravenclaw common room was immediately filled with the squealing of fangirls. The Slytherin common room had only a few squeals, and the Griffindor and Hufflepuff common rooms were split down the center.

* * *

Gaara leveled his wand at the plants, whispered an incantation, and sent fire shooting out of his wand to burn the plants.

Kurama paled as he watched the plants burn, and Gaara took the opportunity to use Expelliarmus to disarm the red-haired fox spirit.

Kurama's eye twitched when the wand flew out of his hand, _… I didn't take him seriously enough…_

_And you forgot that you were supposed to use the wand__ until _after_ it was flying out of our hand._

_I didn't _forget.

_Sure… are you going to retrieve the wand?_

_No… it might be worth it to watch this kid…_

_Like Kankuro, Tenten, and those Hyuuga kids?_

_Yeah…_

"… Since Shuichi is making no move to continue, Gaara wins." Snape announced.

* * *

Fangirls screamed in defiance, unheard by those in the Great Hall.

* * *

"Kiba, Hinata. Come."

Kurama and Gaara left the center of the room, to be replaced by the Inuzuka and Hyuuga.

"So…" Kiba whispered as they walked, "Which one of us do you think should win?"

"A-ano…"

They faced off, and Snape said his piece: "Begin."

"Well…" Kiba said, grinning, "Let's see how this turns out…"

Hinata got into her stance (activating Byakugan), and Kiba drew his wand, fluidly pointing it at Akamaru, and then making a wide arc straight ahead. Akamaru barked and turned into a clone of Kiba when the wand was pointed at him, and then went hurtling at Hinata in a gatsuuga when Kiba did the arc.

Hinata tensed, slipped to the side, whispered, "sorry", and smacked Akamaru with two open palms, sending the dog hurtling toward the wall.

She repeated this when Kiba came at her, and relaxed when her teammate hit the ground, "Ano… are you okay?"

"You know…" Ron commented, "I'm pretty sure people don't normally ask their opponents if they're 'okay'…"

"They don't!" Naruto said, nodding wisely, "Go, Kiba! Go, Hinata! I'm rooting for you, believe it!"

There was a moment of silence as everyone in Hogwarts stared at Naruto, before attention turned back to the match.

Kiba charged at Hinata, clawed hands extended. Hinata ducked and slid to the side, leaving one foot out and tripping Kiba, who hopped onto his hands, spun while still on his hands, and flipped back, once again facing Hinata.

Hinata drew a sharp breath when Kiba and Akamaru, now on opposite sides of her, both launched at her with gatsuuga.

She spun around, arms extended, hitting Kiba and Akamaru as they flew by on either side.

Kiba grunted as he hit the wall, and he stood up a little shakily.

"A-are you sure you're okay?" Hinata asked.

"Of course!" Kiba shouted, "This is fun!"

Hinata was about to sigh in relief, except that Kiba's legs chose that moment to give out. He fell to his knees, coughing up blood. His clone reverted to Akamaru, and Snape intervened, "Hinata wins."

"Huh?" Kiba growled, standing up, wiping his mouth, "But I'm fine!"

"Make no mistake." Snape snapped, "I would have absolutely no problem watching a bloodbath between Hufflepuffs, but it's not my job to do what I want. You've lost, and I suggest you go to the Hospital Wing."

"Hmph." Kiba grumbled, "Then I've lost, but there's no way I'm missing out on the rest of the matches!"

"Have it your way." Snape replied coldly, "Ino, Neji."

Hufflepuff and Griffindor stepped up to face each other.

Neji drew his wand slowly, "Fate has decreed your loss."

Ino's eye twitched as she also drew her wand, "I thought you had gotten over that."

"Begin."

Neji stood still, "Does anyone ever fully get over anything?"

Ino frowned. Depression… it always found a way of getting in when they had been out too long… it would pass easily, at first… but after a few years outside of Home, it would pop up with increasing frequency.

"Yeah, sure." Ino drew her wand. The last thing they needed was depression. And so, though she knew it was futile, she made a sign with her hands…

… And Neji was in front of her, muttering "hakke, sanjuuni shou." 

"Hey…" Kuwabara grumbled, "That's what he did to _me_…"

Ino stumbled back after the onslaught, dropping her wand, _yeah… I saw that coming…_

Neji stepped back, muttering, "Sorry."

Ino's mouth twitched slightly in a smile, _looks like the depression's already passed… _"I resign."

Snape looked between them, "Neji wins. Hiei, Sakura."

"This is going pretty quick…" Fred muttered. George nodded in agreement.

Hiei and Sakura faced off, and Snape calmly stated, "Begin."

Sakura ducked and jumped to the side just before Snape finished, barely avoiding an immediate sword and wand that would have been angled against her head had she stayed the fraction of a second it took Snape to articulate the final letter of the doom-bringing disyllabic word.

Of course, she knew she couldn't beat that speed, so… "I resign."

Hiei's eye twitched, "Tch."

Snape remained impassive, "Hiei wins. Tenten, Sasuke."

"Oh, that's _great_…" Tenten muttered, walking up to face Sasuke.

"Begin."

Tenten jumped back, drawing both her wand and one of her scrolls in one motion, and continuing that same motion as she poked her thumb with the sharp wand, and slid it across the now-open scroll.

Sasuke ran forward, drawing his wand and a kunai. Tenten jumped away again, and threw several knives of varying shapes and sizes at Sasuke, who deflected them with the kunai.

While he was thus engaged, Tenten summoned two large bowls of ramen (each with a smoke bomb concealed inside), one with a chain attached to the bottom. She quickly slapped their edges together without spilling any ramen, and sealed it with exploding tags.

As soon as one hand was free, Tenten used her wand to throw a couple of random spells at Sasuke, who jumped high into the air to avoid them.

Tenten grinned, grabbed the chain, spun her ramen-cannonball, and threw it at Sasuke.

Sasuke's hands turned into a blur as he made a series of signs, still in the air. He moved a hand to his mouth, and blew a large fireball at the approaching weapon, "Katon: Gokakyuu no Jutsu!"

The sphere exploded, sending boiling ramen everywhere, as well as generating a huge amount of smoke. Naruto and Chouji yelled in terror, and Deidara stood in awe of such a creative method of generating art.

Now in the center of swirling smoke and steam (which created the effect of dark, dense fog), Tenten summoned a staff just before Sasuke was in front of her again, and they were soon engaged in close combat.

When the smokescreen cleared, Tenten was disarmed, with a kunai and wand to her neck.

Snape coughed to clear his lungs before announcing, "Sasuke wins."

* * *

In the field of noise inducing, in relation to Kurama, Sasuke was equal and opposite. The halves of Griffindor and Hufflepuff that had been silent before were now squealing. The sound levels in the Slytherin common room skyrocketed, and there were but few squeals among the Ravenclaws.

* * *

Sasuke put away the kunai and wand, and Tenten grinned as she made her way back to the Hufflepuff corner.

"What, exactly, was the _point_ of the ball?" Kiba demanded.

Tenten chuckled, "I wanted to see the looks on Naruto and Chouji's faces."

"Then why all the smoke?" Yusuke asked, "That was dangerous! I was_choking_!"

"You weren't the only one." Ino agreed.

Tenten shrugged, "Because I felt like it."

Chouji's mouth hung open as he stared at the charred ramen littering the ground.

Over in another corner, Kurama observed Tenten, _she used those exploding tags. Definitely shinobi._

Snape coughed again, "We've just entered the next stage. Naruto against Gaara."

Naruto's eyes widened, "NANI?!"

"Is there something wrong with it?" Kuwabara asked.

Naruto was speechless…

… And Gaara didn't want to fight Naruto, either; "I resign."

And Naruto was struck speechless _again_.

Snape narrowed his eyes, "… Very well. Hinata against Neji."

The demon twins leaned forward eagerly as Neji and Hinata reluctantly took the stage.

"In case you were wondering…" Neji muttered as they faced each other, "I'm not going to try to kill you this time."

Hinata gulped, "I… figured as much."

"Begin."

The two Hyuugas fell into their traditional fighting stance, and alternated smoothly between offense and defense.

Naruto leaned back, "You know, this looks awfully fam–"

He cut himself off when Hinata hopped away from Neji, panting, and drew her wand. Neji braced himself when Hinata extended the arm holding the wand.

Neji drew his wand…

"Shugohakke, Rokujuuyon Shou." Hinata whispered.

The only sound to break the sudden, intense silence was Naruto's whispered, "Duck."

The Hyuuga cousins suddenly exploded into motion. Both of Hinata's arms became a blur, and Neji spun around with an unheard "Hakkeshou Kaiten!"

Nearly invisible laser lights shot at Neji, and were deflected off his chakra shield, going everywhere.

Gaara's wand was out in a flash, and sand rose out of cracks in the stone to form a shield around himself and his siblings, infused with just enough chakra to block Hinata's attack.

Sasuke activated Sharingan, and stepped aside just before a deflected shot entered the space his head had just occupied a moment before. He stepped to the opposite side to avoid another one, and ducked to avoid a third.

Deidara felt slightly giddy as he avoided the lights,_ I'm sure they'll understand that if I don't know where they'll shoot, I can't very well nullify a redirected… spell._

Hiei scowled as he avoided the light.

Malfoy pressed himself against the wall, eyes shut tight.

Sakura didn't dare blink as she avoided the lasers, _dang… I have to _guess_ where they might be coming._

Shikamaru watched Neji's Hakkeshou Kaiten carefully, _if Hinata hits there, at that angle, then it'll reflect…_

Shino felt slightly irritated as he sidestepped the lights.

Kurama raised an eyebrow, _shinobi._

Yusuke was about to ask why everyone was so scared of the nigh invisible lights, when one of them sliced his hair. He watched the strands float to the ground, and gulped.

Kuwabara looked like he was trying to dance (no more explanation should be needed there).

Harry, Ron, and Hermione did their best, but still got cut a little.

The Weasely twins might have avoided getting hit, but their attention was (mis)directed totally toward the Hyuugas and their techniques, and not on where the techniques were _going_.

Naruto and Lee barely managed to avoid getting hit.

The Hyuugas slowed down, and Hinata was breathing very heavily by the time they had stopped. She wiped her brow, stood up straight, and went back into the Hyuuga fighting stance. Neji watched impassively, and also fell back into the stance.

Naruto sighed in relief as they stopped (unintentionally) involving the audience.

From there, it didn't take long for Hinata to collapse.

"Neji wins." Snape announced, "Next is Hiei against Sasuke."

The named contestants stepped forward, smiling darkly. They didn't need to say anything to tell each other "I've been looking forward to this".

"Begin."

Both Slytherins seemed to disappear, and those who could see the match watched interestedly.

* * *

"Botan! Go, now!" Koenma shouted. Botan nodded hurriedly, and hopped onto her paddle.

* * *

Hiei's eyes narrowed as he dueled Sasuke's kunai, _he's almost as fast as I am…_

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he activated Sharingan, _he's slightly faster than I am…_

Naruto watched, frustrated, as he heard loud metallic clanging, "Hey, fuzzy-eyebrows… what's going on?"

Lee glanced toward him, "They're–"

There was a huge roar as fire started flying across the Great Hall from two different points.

Lee corrected himself, "They _were_ dueling."

"Ah." Naruto watched as the fire flew across the ceiling. Apparently, neither of the morbid Slytherins were on the ground.

He blinked when the sound suddenly stopped, and both fighters came into focus (_now_ they were on the ground). Hiei looked like he was in the middle of turning around, but had apparently been stopped by the wand Sasuke now held to his throat.

Snape gave them a moment to stand there, before ending it; "Sasuke wins."

Neither Slytherin had stopped smiling. They both returned to their corner.

Snape looked quite relaxed for his next announcement, "And that leaves a three-way between Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke."

Naruto's face broke out in a huge grin, and he almost laughed from the adrenaline rush. Sasuke felt similarly, although his grin was a little less… _cheerful_ than Naruto's.

All watchers got the feeling that this would be a little more like Naruto vs. Sasuke, than Naruto vs. Neji vs. Sasuke.

* * *

Botan flew down to the castle below as quickly as her paddle would carry her, entering an open window and shooting through the halls.

She burst into the Great Hall, "Dumbledore-san! The arrival! Her name is Tsunade–"

Naruto's eyes widened, and he cut her off, "BAA-CHAN?!"

* * *

Yeah, sorry for the cliffhanger.

I was actually surprised how short the fights ended up.


	50. And Back They Went

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

_Ollivander sighed in relief. Yet another year of young witches and wizards in need of wands finished. He just hoped the damage wasn't so extensive that he would end up _losing_ money. Business was exceptionally bad this year…_

_Turning to look idly around at Diagon Alley, he heard a loud crashing sound behind him. Pivoting on the spot, he watched his shop crash to the ground._

_(Ollivander – Debris, roughly two feet tall.)_

* * *

Several shinobi and kunoichi tensed, wondering what they were trying to pull _this_ time (as well as resisting the urge to tell Naruto to shut up… and it didn't help that Sasuke seemed to be the only one not getting that urge).

"HEY, HEY!!" Naruto screamed, "TSUNADE!? AS IN BAA-CHAN!?"

Botan blinked at Naruto's volume, "Tsunade… she said her rank was hokage… the way she said it, I would think it commands respect."

Sakura glanced at Naruto, _supposedly…_

Naruto's eyes widened, "She's _HERE!?… _She's _HERE?!_"

Botan had looked confused at first, but understood when Naruto switched to Japanese, "Well, not _here_… she's waiting in Koenma's office. Oh, and I take it you're Naruto?"

Naruto grinned, "Dattebayo!"

"Hey!" Ron yelled, "What's going on? Who's the ghost?"

"… Ghost?" Naruto wondered, "Hmm… come to think of it…"

"You know, we don't have time." Botan said, ignoring Ron (due to not knowing English), "You know how short the last two times were. We need to hurry!"

"Very well." Dumbledore acquiesced, "We'll just bring everyone who made it to the preliminaries. The last match is going to be postponed. Everyone… who made it to the preliminaries is going to be going on a little trip… sightseeing. Incentive for studying hard enough to get this far."

Ino and Kiba stared at him incredulously.

"All of these people?" Botan asked, "I can do that… but… you still haven't found all of them yet?"

Dumbledore sighed, "Well, it was looking good during the preliminaries. I feel fairly certain of several more, but not enough. Now, you said we should hurry…"

"Hey, wait!" Naruto interrupted, "What about Haku and Zabuza?"

Shikamaru bit his tongue, while attempting to look clueless about the whole exchange.

Dumbledore looked surprised, "Who?"

"Haku and Zabuza!" Naruto replied, "They hang out in the Forbidden Forest. Can we pick them up on the way?"

Dumbledore smiled, "Of course. Now, we're going to make a chain…" He took Botan's hand in one of his, and took Naruto's with his other.

"You know…" Deidara intervened, "Since House Captains are in charge of the students of their house participating in the Exam, perhaps we should come, too, hm."

Shikamaru felt slightly irritated, _but… if it actually _is_ Tsunade-sama… but if it's _not

Dumbledore nodded, "Certainly."

Sasuke hung back, attempting to be forgotten, _there's no way they're dragging me along…_

"Hey…" Yusuke said, noticing Sasuke inching away from the growing chain, "Come on!" He grabbed Sasuke's wrist, and dragged the reluctant Uchiha to the others, latching onto the end of the chain.

* * *

"Here!" Naruto said. Botan nodded, and the paddle dived toward the ground. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy, who had all been somewhat nervous about the whole thing (particularly after feeling oddly weightless), stopped breathing until they had slowed down.

"What's this about?" Zabuza grumbled from a branch once the group had touched down.

"We're going somewhere. You and Haku are coming with us." Shino stated tersely. Kurama blinked, and Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei looked at the quiet Ravenclaw in shock.

Zabuza's eyes narrowed. If he hadn't grown to trust Shino (kind of…), he might have attacked on the spot. Instead, he just signaled, Haku appeared out of the foliage, and they lengthened the chain.

"Okay…" Botan said cheerfully, "And we're off to Spirit World!"

Zabuza's dropped jaw went unnoticed (both because of his mask, and because no one was paying much attention to him, anyway) and Botan sailed upward, preparing to make the jump to Spirit World.

* * *

"You know, this place seems great and all…" Ron commented, "But, you know, we're _really_ high up, and there's nothing to break our fall if we… you know… fall."

"Don't worry, we're going down." Sakura replied calmly. Indeed, they were heading for a huge gate at top speed. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy paled.

"This is fun!" Fred shouted over the wind as the gate suddenly started opening. Botan didn't slow down, and went through just as the crack got wide enough for them to fit.

"Never heard of a broomstick that looked like a paddle!" George said.

After that it became a blur as Botan entered the huge castle-like building and maneuvered through offices full of ogres…

… And _finally_ stopped inside a huge office, where Koenma sat on his desk, and George (the ogre, not the Weasely) breathed a sigh of relief when they came in. Botan stopped, and her passengers immediately let go of each other. Ron and Hermione were so panicked they couldn't even scream.

There was suddenly a detached feeling in the air as several eyes glazed when they saw the final occupant of the room. Blond hair shifted as she turned to face them, and Sakura's eyes fixed themselves on the little blue diamond shape on her forehead…

"Koenma…" Tsunade said quietly, dangerously, "I was under the impression we were allies."

Koenma blinked, "… I thought we were, too… so what brings this up?"

"What are they saying?" Ron asked, frustrated, "And where are we?"

Lee, being the generous shinobi he was, translated for them (neglecting to mention that they were in the realm of the dead). Of course, the first words went right over the wizards' (plus a witch) heads, and they stared at him, wondering if he was actually translating.

"Don't mind me." Deidara interrupted, stepping back, "I'm just representing Akatsuki, hm."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed, "You people really are clueless. I suppose it can't be helped, however, since there are several questions I need to ask, and I don't have much time… how come Naruto and Sasuke can stand so close together without fighting each other?"

"I'm saving it for our match!" Naruto answered proudly.

"Match?" Tsunade wondered.

Dumbledore answered for her, "We were having a tournament, and a match between those two is the next and final one."

The wizards/witch were slightly more willing to trust that Lee was actually _translating_ and not spouting random words after he finished that part.

"I see…" Tsunade was silent for a moment, "I suppose that makes sense. Then onto the reason I'm here… Shikamaru, would you mind explaining _what _exactly happened?"

Shikamaru grumbled a little as all eyes turned to him (some more than a little surprised), "How much time do you have?"

Something clicked in Kurama's head, _the names… that's what I forgot way back… the _clearly _Japanese NAMES…_

Meanwhile, the shinobi and kunoichi relaxed. It couldn't be an illusion, because they knew that the others in the room didn't know that Shikamaru was a shinobi (well… they did _now_…)

Tsunade's eyebrow rose, "Half an hour, if I push it."

Kuwabara's jaw fell, "That's ten times as long as the last two!"

"Yeah, well…" Tsunade sounded slightly disgusted, "Jiraiya wasted his energy being flashy, and Kakashi, Asuma, Gai, and Kurenai had to support each other. Over all, it increased their time… probably… but that requires a lot of concentration."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "Ero-sennin? And Kakashi-sensei? And Gai-sensei?"

Tsunade looked down at Naruto, "Yes, they all came here. How come it took so long for these people to find you?"

"We weren't sure of their intentions." Shikamaru answered smoothly.

"Now…" Tsunade's eyes narrowed, and she brought a hand to her mouth in thought, "How come you all look _younger_ than when I sent you on that mission?"

Naruto straightened proudly, hands on his sides for increased effect, "Two years! Want me to go into the months, days, and minutes? I can go all the way to seconds!"

Fred, George, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy looked at Lee as if he had suddenly broken out in an Irish dance.

Tsunade's eye twitched, "Don't bother. Just explain."

Shikamaru sighed, "How about we do that… elsewhere."

Tsunade nodded, and brought up a large scroll that no one had noticed, "One minute… Koenma, take this. It's a detailed history about how we originated as a small group who called themselves 'wizards'." She explained, "Apparently, they had fled from their time through use of a time-traveling technique because of some 'Dark Wizard' in their time. The new time period didn't accept them well, however, and they were pushed to their limits to survive. They were also forced to learn 'wandless magic' because they hadn't brought a 'wand maker' with them, and their own wands didn't hold up well under the rough circumstances."

Lee was hard-pressed to keep up while still taking in what Tsunade was saying.

"They were able to survive by learning how to hide, forage, improvise, and occasionally do odd jobs for the less apathetic individuals. This started as simple, mundane jobs, such as cooking and cleaning, but when people started learning their potential, they were given jobs that involved infiltration and assassination. They didn't like those particular jobs, but under the circumstances couldn't refuse them.

"The group would have eventually died off, but the next generation brought several people who were interested in learning magic, and the 'wizards' gladly taught them, even though they couldn't speak Japanese. Eventually their students started being called 'ninja', and 'shinobi'. 'Kunoichi' was used, as well, but far less often.

"Due to the unusually high number of talented individuals, the small group flourished, the wizards grew old and died, and their students, who now had students of their own, split into five factions, known as Villages. There was the Leaf, Sand, Water, Air, and Stone. Eventually the areas they were in were referred to as the Five Shinobi Nations."

Tsunade dropped the scroll on Koenma's desk, "That's a brief overview, and I figured you'd be able to make more sense of it than I could. When you've finished with it, use this to send it back." She brought out a much smaller scroll, and laid it next to the large one, "Just put some of your blood on it, put the scroll on the circle, and insert some energy."

Koenma nodded dumbly, trying to make sense of all the words Tsunade had pounded him with.

"I have one question." Kurama stated.

"What is it?" Kiba asked.

"How come you think in English?"

"That was training, to make sure we didn't accidentally answer a question in Japanese, write in romanji or katakana, or things like that." Shikamaru answered.

"I see…" Kurama looked thoughtful.

"And exactly where do we fit into this?" Zabuza demanded.

Koenma made a small clicking sound when he noticed Haku and Zabuza, "… You two were the ones who went missing during the war with Netherworld, weren't you?"

"Yeah." Zabuza snapped.

"Well…" Koenma thought for a moment, "You should probably go back with Tsunade-san. You can inform the Spirit World back then of what we know of the situation. Oh, yeah, and don't worry about eternal torment… your last action was admirable enough to put you in a positive light."

"All right, let's go!" Tsunade said, holding out her hand, "Just hold on tight, and you should come with me straight to Konoha, eighteen hundred years ago. We'll see what we can do about this mess from there..."

Tsunade took Hinata's hand, and Naruto took Hinata's hand, as well as Sakura's. Lee took Sakura's free hand, and Chouji absently latched on with Shikamaru in tow, only slightly regretting that he couldn't munch on chips while both his hands were full. Temari, grinning evilly, took Shikamaru's hand while holding Gaara's with her other, and Shikamaru muttered, "Troublesome."

Kankuro followed Gaara, and then came Shino, Kiba (with Akamaru in his coat), Neji, Tenten, Haku, and Zabuza. Sasuke held back slightly, but Ino, smiling happily, grabbed his hand and Zabuza's. Sakura glared at Ino, who smiled smugly back.

Tsunade extended her free hand toward Sasuke, who hesitated before taking it.

"Bye!" Koenma said, waving. Tsunade smiled back, Deidara unexpectedly laid a hand on Naruto's shoulder, and the nineteen (twenty if you count Akamaru) of them disappeared.

"Let's hope this works." Kurama said quietly. Koenma looked at him.

"Hm? Did you say something?" Koenma asked. Kurama smiled slightly, and shook his head.

"So…" Hermione broke in, "Lee stopped telling us what you were all saying once that man with the mask started talking…"

"Hopefully, that's become irrelevant." Kurama reassured, _but… it doesn't seem probable that just going back in time will fix the whole matter… it would help if I knew more about the situation…_

"Botan…" Koenma said, handing her a letter, "I just remembered. One Nicholas Flamel is going to die in a couple of minutes, and I want you to personally take care of him, as well as give him this."

Botan smiled, taking the letter and mounting her paddle, "Hai."

"As a point of interest…" Dumbledore said as Botan flew out, "How come you four lost in the tournament?"

"Well…" Kurama looked slightly sheepish, "For one, we weren't fighting for our lives…"

"There was absolutely _no point_ in winning." Hiei muttered discontentedly.

"Yeah…" Yusuke yawned, "I was actually surprised at how little I felt motivated."

Kuwabara's mouth fell open, "What?! … I mean, yeah! That's exactly the reason!"

"Hey…" Ron interrupted, "Where are we, anyway?"

* * *

Nicholas smiled slightly as he left his body, feeling weightless and somewhat contented. He didn't exactly _expect_ a blue-haired, pink-eyed woman riding a paddle to greet him, but he hid his surprise fairly well.

"Hello, I will be your guide to the Spirit World." The woman said, "But before that, the son of the ruler of the Spirit World told me to give this to you."

Nicholas cocked his head, astonished, and took the letter presented by the woman, feeling vaguely grateful he knew Japanese. He opened the letter, surprised to find it written in English:

_Dear Nicholas Flamel_

_I felt obligated to extend my gratitude to you for that book you wrote about shinobi. Due to the fictionalizations on the documents you based it off of, it wasn't quite as helpful as I'd hoped it would be (not that that's entirely your fault; erosion is erosion after all). Nevertheless, the part about the Chuunin Exam was invaluable._

_Thank you._

_The Great Koenma_

* * *

(A/N all talking from here on out will be in Japanese, so I'm not going to underline it)

_Naruto felt something dig into his shoulder, before it let go, and was lost to the chaos around them…_

_Ino tried to close her eyes against the lights. It hadn't been so bad at first, but now they were starting to give her a headache. It was almost like Home, with all this chaos… the only thing that it was missing was that feeling of emptiness. That void, which seemed to suck at everything, but to suck at nothing, because there was nothing to absorb, even so, it seemed to absorb the void… absorb itself. There was nothing to suck, so it sucked nothing. Everything there was nothing…_

…_But this… this was the place called "Nexus"._

"_Visualize Konoha." Tsunade ordered, "I don't think I can bring all of us there on my own…"_

_Ino did as Tsunade asked, and visualized Konoha as she had last seen it. Among the lights, something seemed to start gaining resolution. Ino thought she saw the Hokage faces in a blurry mountain…_

_Suddenly, Sasuke's hand gripped hers tightly, painfully, and she involuntarily tried to pull away. Big mistake. The hand let go as soon as she made that tiny tug, and Sasuke was no longer there._

_Ino heard Tsunade curse, and suddenly shout, "We're not far enough, yet! Ino, grab my hand, hurry!" Ino numbly obeyed, and Konoha seemed to blur again, almost fading back into swirling lights. It resolved as soon as she and Tsunade were holding hands._

It finished resolving quickly, and Ino gasped. _How? Why?_

"Something bit me!" Naruto yelled.

Unfortunately, only Tsunade listened to him, and decided to just file that away since she didn't know what to make of it (while rubbing the hand that Sasuke had just sent an electric current through).

"Konoha…" Kiba breathed, "Eighteen hundred years ago…"

"Not 'ago', _today_!" Tenten exclaimed, ecstatic, then, looking around, "Or… tonight."

"Where's Sasuke?" Sakura asked suddenly. The others were suddenly silent as they noticed the lack of their brooding companion.

"He let go." Tsunade said angrily, then started muttering while looking around at the room they had appeared in, "Stupid boy… probably dead by now, if that place can even kill you… good riddance, too. Better to not have _two_ Orochimaru's hanging around…"

Chouji blinked; as much as he felt he should be serious, he couldn't help thinking, after Tsunade comparing Sasuke to a second Orochimaru, that the world would probably be better without two Tsunade's, let alone two Jiraiya's (in fact, it would probably be better place without _any_ Sannin). But Sakura might as well be a second Tsunade, and it was the same way with Naruto and Jiraiya.

Sakura felt dread creep into her. Sasuke couldn't die… so would he just be sentenced to Home? Or would something else happen? Would _anything_ happen? Would he just be stuck in Nexus?

Tsunade wondered why the fourteen suddenly looked so apprehensive.

* * *

_It was just Nexus. He could get through it…_

_Not that he had ever gone through _time_ here… but it couldn't be _that_ different, could it? Obviously, the headache was a difference, but it was just an annoyance, since he couldn't go insane._

_Insanity would be a relief… too bad Home had planted a defense mechanism in their minds to guard against it…_

_The visualizing was also different, but it shouldn't be too hard…_

_But then, the headache made it difficult to visualize anything, and as soon as he had managed to get away from the circle, he felt his chakra start leeching away, in no small amounts._

Tunnels_… dark tunnels. Right… just long, winding, candlelit tunnels._

_Something seemed to start getting clearer among the lights and colors, tunnels… but then… forest. The headache got harder to stand with each passing moment, and Sasuke started thinking back to Konoha, where he had grown up… with his brother._

_But he was beyond that, now. Konoha couldn't be his home anymore. He was a missing-nin, and planned to remain that way. And he still had to kill his brother…_

_But would that make Home his home? That was something he'd rather not consider._

_He was starting to be able to distinguish trees among the haze, and felt vaguely discontent that he hadn't reached his exact destination. No matter, though, because it wasn't too far from here…_

Unfortunately, he appeared about twenty feet above the ground. Though, thankfully, he was able to land on a thick branch only five feet below him.

He looked around, slightly surprised to see that he had actually ended up closer than he had thought. Too close…

He jumped off the branch quickly, just before the area where it connected to the tree opened up in an automated trap for unwelcome ninja, with a hinge at the bottom still connecting it to the tree so it could be reused. Sasuke scowled. The little trap wouldn't do any damage, but it would cause the unwary to lose his footing, and/or provide the maker (Orochimaru) with a laugh at his expense, assuming, of course, Orochimaru happened to be there to notice.

Sasuke turned away. Orochimaru was probably busy eighteen hundred years later, but that didn't mean that Kabuto wasn't still here.

Closing his eyes, he thought back, long ago… perhaps only a few months before now. So very long ago…

Mustering his memory, Sasuke recalled the mental map of this particular hideout's various traps. The falling branch was the only outdoor trap… but…

Continuing to frown, he walked up the tree, and tapped a few buttons disguised as bark on the falling branch. A patch of dirt opened up to reveal an ornate passageway leading underground, and Sasuke went toward it, carefully skipping the thirteenth step as he walked downward.

Now… the details of the passages were always harder to remember than the traps themselves. Two rights would lead to a dead end… two lefts would lead to an indoor (kind of) pool… both with no shortage of traps on the way. But he could remember the traps easily…

Taking two rights, two lefts, another right, and three more lefts (avoiding loose stones and such), Sasuke made his way to the kitchen.

* * *

"So, what's your explanation?" Tsunade asked.

Naruto looked around at the set faces, "You know, it's really hard to explain… so… Shikamaru can do it, dattebayo!"

Shikamaru scowled at being put on the spot once again, and opened his mouth to retort…

… When the static cleared up in his mind, leaving in its place a question… a theory.

So Shikamaru just stood there, mouth open, eyes wide in response to the cleared feeling that had been nagging him for the past several months. But now that he could put his finger on the question… he wished it had remained static.

"Shikamaru?" Naruto said, waving a hand in front of his face, "Are you okay?"

Shikamaru made a couple of sounds before regaining outward composure, _it couldn't… it couldn't… it… _"What was the question?"

Great… now they were all staring at him like he was crazy.

Tsunade cleared her throat, "You… haven't yet told me what kind of mess you're in. Ten genin, and one chuunin sent on a scouting mission… and none of you came back." Her voice was raising slowly, "Including Naruto, that's an entire generation of Konoha shinobi!" She pointed at the Sand Sibs, "To say nothing of those three!"

Shikamaru thought for a moment, "How about we talk about it tomorrow, after a good night's sleep?"

To be continued…

* * *

I don't think I ended that very well… anyway; in two weeks I'll start the sequel to this.

And it'll be called…

Home Sweet Home


End file.
